CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Rosemarie
I knew I would have to give him up eventually. That sounded really strange to think. It wasn’t that I wanted to keep him in some sort of crazy, obsessed way. There was just something about him and I wasn’t ready for our time to end.
Could we have something beyond whatever this was?
If I was being honest, probably not. Strange circumstances had brought us together and often, when you took those things out of the equation then things fell apart. Right now there was intrigue. And a little bit of danger and thrill. Okay, maybe a lot of those things. I mean, how could that even carry on into something else. I was just going way off the rails here. It wasn’t like I was thinking that we could have anything anyway. What was I going to do, start up a relationship with this guy that I hadn’t even known a day? Not to mention that he’d been out of it most of that time.
I was starting to think that I was going crazy. It had been too long since I’d been on a date. That had to be it. And even longer since I’d actually gotten naked and sweaty with a man. Maybe a good porking was what I really needed.
Uhhh. What the hell was wrong with me?
Okay, so I had to shift my focus.
Sara Ann.
I knew I should at least send her a message about her…um, friend? Were they friends? Then I got to thinking about how she might actually know this guy.
Sara Ann was pretty much my only friend in this city. After I’d moved here I didn’t make much effort to go out, even with my work colleagues. They’d invite me but at the end of my shift, I was usually just ready for some quiet me time. Being a nurse could sometimes be draining, but in a good way. I loved it. Especially the constant hustle of the Emergency Unit. There was never a dull moment. Some nights I didn’t even get a second to catch my breath but I liked it that way.
Since not only did I work with Sara Ann but was lucky enough to have her as my neighbor, I had convinced myself that making one friend was good enough. A lot of times, if we got off shift together, we would grab some takeout and watch those dance competition shows together. It was perfect. A few hours to unwind and hang out but not feel like I had to overly think about things and try hard to make conversation, it was something that I really appreciated.
I checked the time on the clock above the stove. I hadn’t had a decent meal in over twenty-four hours. I should remedy that but at the same time, I was still drained. I hadn’t gotten in a solid few hours of sleep since I’d brought Bocca up. I was too worried that he’d need something and I wouldn’t wake up for whatever reason. Which was silly, because I was a light sleeper.
Sara Ann was on a twenty-four shift. I knew she’d be getting off in two hours, so I decided to send her a text. It wasn’t like if I told her that she’d be able to do anything about it until she got off anyway. I sent her a simple message asking her to stop by my place when she got in.
There. That was done. Now it was just a waiting game.
It didn’t surprise me that Bocca had fallen asleep while talking to me. His body had taken a beating and it needed to heal. I wasn’t offended. In fact, I found it cute how he had tried his hardest to stay awake. But he lost the fight and I couldn’t help but sit there by his side, caressing his unmarred flesh for just a bit longer. Now that I thought about it, it sounded really creepy.
This whole thing was messing with my head and suddenly making me realize that maybe I wasn’t really that good around people.
No, it was just him. Yes, that was it. Because though I wasn’t one to stand around and chit-chat, I also could flow with a conversation easily. Normally, that was. I had no problem following along and inserting my own voice.
A knock at the door jolted me out of my thoughts.
I couldn’t imagine that Sara Ann had gotten off early, that was almost never heard of. However, I couldn’t think of anyone else that would be knocking on my door.
I peeked through the peephole. There stood a man, his head down, his brown hair was all that filled up my view. I shifted and tried to see more, but of course, I couldn’t. But in doing so, I noticed him move slightly. He wasn’t looking down because that was his natural posture or he was trying to hide his face like I’d thought at first. He was watching the bottom of the door. He knew I was there, I wasn’t completely sure, but it was just a feeling that I had.
Damn. I wish this door had a chain on it.
I’d thought about putting one on when I had moved in but it was one of those things that was still on my I’ll get to it when I can list.
I didn’t know this guy. I was sure of that. I closed my eyes and tried to feel. That was one thing my grandmother always tried to get me to understand. Trust my instincts, listen to your gut, and all that stuff. My mother and my uncle used to joke that my grandmother was a strega that practiced in la vecchia religione. But I never really took much stock in her herbs or chants that she muttered under her breath.
Funny that now I was trying to channel some sort of ancient witchcraft in my blood to help me tell if this guy was a threat or not.
Too much time had passed. He knew I was there and it wasn’t like I could just stand there all day and wait to see if he went away. Yet, he hadn’t knocked again. So was that his way of letting me know that he knew that I was there?
This was all too much.
“Hi,” I said as I threw open the door quickly hoping to rattle him a little. “Can I help you?” I asked in an oddly nice sounding voice that somehow cut like glass at the same time.
That was something else I’d gotten from my grandmother. That woman could say something to you and have it sound like a compliment, when in fact it was the complete opposite of one. She could cut you down and you’d never even know.
His head tilted up and bright green eyes pinned me almost making me gasp.
“I’m looking for my friend.”
Five words, then nothing. I couldn’t tell if this guy had like zero social skills or if he just wasn’t one to beat around the bush. Maybe he was super focused, like in some kind of mission mode. My brows went up in what I prayed looked like confusion. I really needed to pull this off because I wasn’t sure what I should have done.
On the one hand, this guy could have really been looking for his friend. Bocca could maybe be his friend. Who was I to stand in the way of that? I was sure that he had people that were worried about him.
Crap, I had never even thought to ask him if he needed to call someone. I was off my game.
Then on the other hand, though Bocca hadn’t come right out and said it, I knew he was in some sort of trouble. This guy could be here to harm him further.
Was I willing to take the chance that he was really Bocca’s friend and possibly here to help?
No.
I wasn’t.
“Long, blonde hair. Kinda bulky in the arm area. Real smooth talker,” he went on when I held the confused look on my face but didn’t say anything.
I laughed to myself because that described the naked man in my bed perfectly.
Wait, yep, he was naked. Funny how I hadn’t thought about that before this moment.
“Nope, sorry,” I simply said and shook my head a few times. I still wasn’t sure about this guy. I didn’t get any shivers down my spine or hairs standing on end, but I didn’t know if I should trust my judgment either.
He eyed me but chose not to push further.
“Okay, thanks. If you see him, could you pass along a message that his brothers are looking for him.”
I gave a firm not and shrugged my shoulders at the same time. My plan was to throw him off. Confuse him. And seem like I couldn’t give a shit about what he was saying. I hoped like hell that it worked.
“Have a good night, ma’am.”
He didn’t wait for a reply, not that I had one. He turned away and proceeded to walk to the elevator, or at least made it look like he was. I should have watched where he went but I also didn’t want to look suspicious. So I closed the door and locked it, then let out a long breath of air.
After I was able to move again, I moved into the kitchen. Searching through the refrigerator, I decided to eat leftovers that were probably on the verge of walking out the door on their own. I opened the container and took a big whiff as I tried to remember when I’d made it. Since it was just a vegetable stir-fry, I deemed it acceptable to eat. I didn’t play around with meat in leftovers. I heated it up then all but woofed it down.
I figured it was probably a good idea to get Bocca to try to eat something. I made two pieces of toast, leaving them plain. Then I grabbed a bottle of water and made my way back to the bedroom.
I was surprised to find him half awake. The moment he heard me, his head shifted to look in my direction. There was something about how his eyes automatically looked into mine.
“I brought you something to eat. You should take it easy. We’ll see how this goes down and if it stays that way, then I’ll cook you something more…appetizing.” I lifted up the plate that held the toast then walked over to the bed. I set it down beside him as I looked him over. “How are you feeling?”
“Like this is almost the worst day of my life,” he said with a forced laugh. I gave him a sympathetic smile. “Only now, it doesn’t seem bad at all.”
So cheesy. I almost rolled my eyes but somehow managed to hold it back.
The room grew oddly quiet as our eyes stayed locked. I wanted to squirm simply because it was so strange how I didn’t want to look away from his bright blue eyes. All the pain this man was in and somehow he still looked like he was smiling in those stunning orbs.
“I didn’t know you had brothers,” I said awkwardly because I didn’t know what else to say and the silence was stretching on way too long. How would I know? We hadn’t really talked about anything like that.
I didn’t know a thing about him. And though I shouldn’t because I hadn’t had many conversations with him, it still kind of bothered me. Maybe it was because I wanted to know more about him. I wasn’t saying that I wanted his entire life story or wanted him to bring me home to meet his parents or anything. Wait, maybe he didn’t have parents. Well, yeah, everyone has parents. But maybe he didn’t even know them. Or they could have died in some horrible accident. Or…who knew?
I decided then that I should maybe just keep my mouth shut and stick to how’s the weather? kind of conversations.
Looked like rain, by the way. And I wasn’t talking about outside. I was talking about the dark clouds that covered his eyes at the mention of his brothers.
“What are you talking about?” he asked and there was a hard edge to his tone.
“This man stopped by. He said he was a friend of yours and was looking for you. I played dumb and I think he bought it. But he said if I see you…or a man that he described that could very well be you, he said to tell you that your brothers were looking for you.”
His hands went to the bed as he tried to push himself up.
“Easy,” I nearly barked as I scooted closer to him and tried to keep him from getting up.
“I need to go,” he said and I could see the sadness and panic in his eyes.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You can hardly get up on your own.”
To that, he chuckled at me. Maybe on a normal day I couldn’t overpower him, but right now I was pretty sure I’d have no problem keeping him from getting out of this bed.
“Baby,” he said and the word came out so naturally that it made me think I wasn’t the only person he called that name. “I need to go. I shouldn’t have brought this to your door, Rosemarie, and I’m truly sorry. But your safety means more than my own to me right now. I need to leave.”
“You don’t have any clothes,” I sputtered out as he went to pull back the sheet. My eyes automatically screwed shut tight. Yes, I was tempted to look, but I was trying really hard not to. He paused at the realization of his predicament. “He left. I’m pretty sure anyway.”
“Shit.” He breathed out. “Fuck.”
“Bocca,” I snapped hoping to shake him out of whatever he was thinking about.
His eyes jerked up to mine.
“What did this guy look like?”
“Um, a bit taller than me. But shorter than you. Brown hair. Green eyes. Kind of a blank expression.” I shrugged because there wasn’t much else I could say.
“Accent?”
“Um, no. Normal American type of guy.”
He seemed to relax a bit at that.
“Can I use your phone?”
“Yeah, sure,” I said as I reached for the bottle of water and put it in his lap. “Drink that while I go get it. You need fluids. And you should probably try to eat something too.” I pointed to the plate of toast beside him.
I said nothing else and neither did he. I could see the thoughts zipping by behind his unfocused eyes.
A knock came at my door just as I reached for my phone that I’d left on the kitchen counter. Now I really was super hesitant to answer the door.
“Thank God,” I muttered as I looked through the peephole and saw that it was Sara Ann.
I made short work of the lock and threw the door open. I scanned the hall as I frantically waved her inside.
“What is going on?” she asked, her eyes wild with concern as I quickly shut the door behind her and flicked the lock closed.
“Do you know a guy named Bocca?” I asked and the words rushed out of me so fast I wondered if she even understood me.
“Yeah…why?”
“Long story short, he’s in my bedroom.”
“Oh!” she said a little too excitedly.
Yeah, I had shared some things with her. One of those things being that I hadn’t been with anyone in a long time. She knew my sex life was nonexistent.
“No, no. Not like that,” I said, my hand frantically waving in the air like I was trying to shoo away a fly. “He came here looking for you. He’s…well, not in good shape. I don’t know what happened, I didn’t ask. But I fixed him up as best as I could.”
I saw the change happen like a light switch being flicked on. She started walking away from me and towards my bedroom in her doctor mode.
I snatched up my phone barely remembering that Bocca had asked for it, then followed right behind her.
“Bocca?”
“Sara Ann!” Bocca said and there was that funny charm in his voice as he said her name.
“No. Don’t you Sara Ann me. What the hell? I’m calling Loch. They are out searching for you. If I’d known you were here…”
“I was just about to call them. I’ve been a little out of it.”
“Let me look,” she said as she stepped closer to the bed and began to look over every single one of his wounds. “Rosemarie did a good job. I don’t even want to know.”
“Good, because you and I both know I wouldn’t tell you anyway.” Though his words were a bit harsh and rude, his tone was joking. I felt like there was something I was missing.
It was clear that she knew him.
She shook her head at him though there was a bit of a smile there on her face.
He sagged back into the mattress and looked resigned as Sara Ann put her phone to her ear. Her eyes over at me, then back at him. Without a word, she turned and walked out of the room. I assumed she didn’t want to have whatever conversation she was about to have in front of me.
Then things really started to poke at me. Maybe he wasn’t exactly innocent in all of this. Maybe I had let danger into my home, I mean, the bad kind of danger.
I was frozen as my eyes slowly dragged across the mattress until I met his. There was something unsaid that passed between us but I couldn’t interpret its meaning.
Was it an apology?
Was it an admission to what was running through my head?
Was it a plea for me to not think what I was thinking?
I opened my mouth to say something but I had no idea what that was.
“Don’t,” he whispered and his sweet blue eyes clouded with a sadness. I snapped my mouth shut, almost shocked at the scene in front of me. “Don’t ask. Don’t think. Don’t put anything there that would…change the time we’ve spent together. Please. I know that me being here has asked a lot of you. And I can’t thank you enough. But I just need to ask that one last thing.”
“Okay,” I whispered and for some reason felt the need to wrap my arms around myself. But I didn’t. I stood my ground and watched him a moment longer.
Before I felt like I could really catch my breath, my place was filled with, well, bikers. All of them wearing a vest that held a patch with an insignia the same as the tattoo I’d seen on Bocca’s back.
A man with a big belly and long gray beard pushed his way into my room. He was gruff and his face held the kind of scowl that could make a grown man piss himself. But as his eyes shifted to me I saw a kind of softness that told me that he wouldn’t hurt me.
“You fix him up?” he asked.
I couldn’t get the words out, so I nodded.
His hand came down heavy on my shoulder as he pinned me with his eyes.
“Thank you,” he said with a nod. “This guy means a lot to us. I appreciate you helpin’ him out and keepin’ him safe.”
“He’s naked,” I blurted out. “I mean, his clothes are ruined and I didn’t exactly have anything he could wear.”
Someone behind me chuckled but I didn’t dare turn and look at who it was.
“We got somethin’ for him to wear. Don’t worry, darlin’.”
One of the other men stepped up with a pile of bunched up clothing and handed it to the guy that had been talking to me.
“Can I get a minute,” Bocca said and I looked at the big guy, the one that screamed leader, and saw a mix of emotions play out on his face as he looked at Bocca.
“Yeah,” he grunted. “But we’re takin’ you home when you’re done. Here ya go,” he said as he turned his attention to me and handed me the clothes.
Then they all, including Sara Ann, walked out of the room, closing the door slightly behind them.
I turned to Bocca, unsure of what to say. So I didn’t say anything. I got in nurse mode, prepared to check over his wounds one last time, help him get dressed, and then say my goodbyes with as little emotion as possible.