A text from Chase first thing Tuesday morning makes me giddy.

Even in text messages, he’s bossy, but I know it’s just his way. He has full control over his life and everyone around him. Not having full control over me and our relationship throws him off balance. Until now, I’ve never felt in control of anything in my life. I spent years being controlled by a man I thought loved me and even more years trying to heal from it.

Before I can respond to Chase’s text, Taye calls me into his office. His tone is not the laid-back, easygoing one I’m used to. It’s more the stressed-out and upset variety.

“Sit down, Gillian. We’re waiting for Ms. Peterson to arrive.”

I’m sure my mouth just hit the floor. Ms. Peterson is the Director of Human Resources, and based on his tone and stiff spine, something bad has happened. I scramble to think what I could have done to upset him. Enough that the Director of HR is warranted.

“What’s this about?” I ask Taye.

“I’ve been asked not to discuss the situation until Ms. Peterson arrives,” he says tersely.

He doesn’t look at me, and he’s really tense. His jaw is clenched, and sweat beads on his forehead. He makes a point shuffling papers around his desk as if he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. But what is really unsettling is that he still hasn’t looked at me. Something is wrong, really wrong. I rack my brain. What could have brought this on? Why does the Director of Human Resources want to meet with me? I draw a complete blank.

Ms. Peterson enters Taye’s office briskly and takes a seat across the small table from me. Her blond bob accentuates her face, but her blue eyes are cold and unfeeling. She wears a deep red power suit with a white silk blouse. Tiny pearl buttons run down the center. The woman is quite pretty. She’d be beautiful if she smiled every so often.

“Ms. Callahan, some troubling information has been brought to our attention. I felt it was in the best interest of the foundation to bring it to light promptly.” Her eyes burn into mine.

I clasp my hands in my lap, worrying my fingers together nervously.

She pulls out a newspaper and opens it to a section in the center and sets it on the table. A picture of Chase and me, taken at the charity event this past weekend, half fills the page. Above it, the caption reads, “Billionaire Chase Davis, a Bachelor No More?” In the image, Chase is clearly kissing my neck as I lean against him. His hand is around my waist, affectionately holding me to him. My eyes are closed, and I’m smiling. It’s a candid shot some photographer snapped. Probably the one that Jack threw out that evening. I can’t look away from the picture. It’s one of those images of you and your mate looking so happy you’d want to frame and treasure always. Seeing it splashed across the San Francisco Chronicle is obviously a problem.

“That is you, Ms. Callahan, is it not?” Her tone is harsh.

I look at Taye, and he’s staring off into the distance. His hands are clasped tightly. He’s uncomfortable with this meeting and definitely angry. I’m not sure if it’s at me or on my behalf. I hope the latter.

I nod at Ms. Peterson, not knowing what to say. Then she drops the bomb.

“This behavior is unacceptable for a foundation employee.”

As if my head weren’t connected to my neck, it slams backward, my mouth opening and closing ready to verbally battle. Before I can say anything in my defense, she continues.

“Mr. Davis is Chairman of our Board and the foundation’s largest donor. His donation each year pays all of our payroll and overhead.” Her beauty is suddenly diminished by the putrid pinched look she’s giving me and the accusation in her voice.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Peterson. Where are you going with this?” I ask.

“Are you in a relationship with Mr. Davis?” she asks bluntly. Her mouth pulls together in a sneer, and her jaw clenches.

“I don’t know how that’s any of your business, but yes, we are seeing each other.” I’m not ashamed of my relationship with him, and I have no reason to be. It’s not conventional to date someone on the board, but he’s a volunteer, not an employee. I do not believe this falls under any fraternization policies. Come to think of it, there are plenty of employees dating one another. I’m not sure how this is a problem.

“I’m going to make this very clear, Ms. Callahan. This relationship does not look good for the foundation. It’s ethically inappropriate.” She adjusts her hair and folds the newspaper. “This relationship puts the foundation in a negative light. We cannot have members of the staff dating members of our board.”

“What are you saying?” The question is meant to sound confident, but it comes out weak and breathy.

“You have a decision to make.” Her face twists into a grimace, and she holds up her hand displaying three fingers. “One, you break off your relationship with Mr. Davis.” She pulls that finger down. “Two, you continue your relationship, and he’ll have to step down as Chairman of the Board.” Another finger falls.

At that moment, everything around me starts to sway and shake. My world as I know it is crumbling like a wall on the edge of a cliff that’s just been hit by an earthquake. Each piece slipping off the ledge and falling into the ocean’s murky depths. I’m certain my face has gone pale and probably looks frightened or shocked. All of which I’m feeling in spades. Tears prick the edges of my vision, but I don’t let them fall. Ms. Peterson’s grin holds an evil curl as she puts more nails into the coffin of my life and career.

“Or, three, you quit or be relieved of your position with the foundation. Your choice.”

I dab the corner of my eye with a finger.

“I’m going to ask you to leave for the rest of the week and return on Friday with your decision. You’re being suspended with pay for three days. This should give you ample time to determine what’s best for you. We are doing what’s best for the foundation.”

Ms. Peterson seals my fate by standing and turning to Taye. “Mr. Jefferson, is there anything you’d like to add?”

He shakes his head. “No, Ms. Peterson, I believe you’ve covered it. Thank you.”

She nods and walks out of the room, a pep in her step. The entire conversation took less than fifteen minutes. Her heels dig into the carpet as she stomps away in her pristine red suit.

And that is that. She didn’t say one kind word about my work, just that I was damaging the foundation by having a relationship with Chase. Everything I’ve worked for, two years of my life have just been tarnished, damaged yet again by my choice in men.

I shake my head and reach the door. “I guess I’ll get my things.”

“Gigi, wait,” Taye says.

“Oh, now it’s Gigi, huh? Not Miss Callahan? Taye, you didn’t stick up for me when she was gutting me. All the work I’ve put in, everything, it counts for nothing.” The tears fall, and I wipe them away and leave his office. I storm to my desk, grab my purse, and practically run out of the building.

I cannot believe this is happening. I knew once I found out Chase was the Chairman of the Board that dating him could be a slight problem, but I never thought I would be faced with an ultimatum. Chase or the Foundation? The one place that helped me when I was broken, when I had nothing, when I could have died.

What the hell am I going to tell Chase? Nothing. I can’t tell him anything. It’s obvious I won’t be able to have dinner with him tomorrow. Now I have to figure out what to do. Fresh tears roll down my face, and my whole body heats. Slight tremors spiral through my limbs, and I hit the gas on my Honda Civic, racing to my apartment.

I burst through the door, racked with heaving sobs before I ever make it to the couch.

Maria is there, and when she sees my face, she jumps off of the kitchen barstool, ending whatever call she was on with a quick, “Shit! I gotta go!” She’s to me in an instant. “Gigi, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

I shake my head, but I can’t stop crying and heaving. The pain is so fierce I ball my hands into fists and press them to my eye sockets to stop the waterworks.

“Me estás asustando!” She shakes me. “You’re scaring me, Gigi! Speak, hablar!”

I take deep breaths, willing my emotions to settle so I can spare my friend her anguish over seeing me like this. “Work found out about Chase and me,” I barely get out as the tears stream down my face.

She wipes them away and holds my cheeks.

“And?” Her eyes show her concern.

“And… And they said that either Chase and I have to break it off or he has to step down from the board.” She hands me a tissue, and I dab at my tears. “Or I have to quit or they’ll fire me!” I sob.

“Qué mierda! That’s crazy, Gigi! Lo siento mucho, I’m sorry, cara bonita! Please don’t cry. It will be okay.” She pets my hair and hands me another tissue.

“But it won’t!” I say with misery. “Either I lose my job, a job that I love and worked so hard for, or I lose Chase. The man of my dreams!” I cry harder.

“When do you have to tell them your answer?” She helps me up from my crumpled position on the floor to sit with me on the couch.

I blow my nose loudly into the tissue and grab another. “Friday, first thing.”

“Talk to Chase. He’ll know what to do,” she suggests.

Not an option. I know I can’t do that. I shake my head. If I tell him, he could break up with me and that will beyond hurt. It will gut me. Already I’ve invested too much of my heart in this thing between us. I haven’t wanted to be with a man the way I want to be with him in longer than I can remember. It’s as if I’d forgotten what it truly was to be excited about a man. To look forward to every moment I’m with him. To want him and know he wants me. God, what am I going to do?

“I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. I need to think this through.” I take a deep calming breath, push off the couch, and start walking down the hallway.

“Okay, cara bonita, but I think you should talk to him. This involves him too.”

I don’t need to be reminded. The heavy ache and crushing anxiety burning my heart is enough. The thought that he could lose his position on the board of the foundation, the one he founded, breaks my heart, shattering it into a million tiny shards. And I could never ask him to pick me over what he’s built. The question plaguing me now is whether I could quit or let myself be fired from the one place that made me feel whole again. The organization that pulled me out of hell, gave me a fresh start. I owe the foundation so much more than harming their good name with a tawdry love affair. Ms. Peterson is right. I made a horrible decision to get involved with Chase, and now I’m going to reap what I’ve sown.

Taking a scalding hot shower, I try to numb the pain. It doesn’t help. Punishing the canvas doesn’t change the picture, it just distorts the view. After my shower, I fall into bed, still cursing for allowing myself to get involved with Chase. God, but he’s everything I could want in a man. He’s strong, drop-dead gorgeous, takes care of himself financially, a god in the bedroom and he seems to like me. To see the real me. Not just redheaded, pasty white Gillian who works at a nonprofit and lives in a shoebox with her wild roommate.

Maybe this is a sign. Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me that we weren’t meant to be. The tears slip down my cheeks again, wetting my pillow.

I hear a tap at my bedroom door. “Gigi, your cell phone rang while you were in the shower, and then you received a text from Chase.”

Of course I did. I sigh loudly and stick my hand into the air. She hands it to me and sits on the side of the bed, petting my hip in a soothing rhythm.

“Will you be okay? I have rehearsal, but I can totally blow it off if you need me?” she offers.

“Ria, your show is in less than two weeks. You know you can’t do that. Now go. I’ve got my big girl panties on. I’ll be fine.”

She squeezes my hip one last time and leaves. I stare down at the screen. One missed call from Chase and one text message from him.

To: Gillian Callahan

From: Chase Davis

I tried calling. Call me.

I sigh. There is no way in hell I’m going to call him tonight. I can’t deal with myself let alone an inquisition. I text him instead.

To: Chase Davis

From: Gillian Callahan

Going to bed early. Can’t do dinner tomorrow. Another time maybe.

Okay, that should do it. One step at a time. To hear his voice, just capture even one small “baby” from his lips would soothe this hole in the pit of my being. I have to be strong, if not for me, for him. He didn’t sign on for this. I’m not going to allow a two-week-long relationship to ruin what he’s worked so hard for. His text message is immediate.

To: Gillian Callahan

From: Chase Davis

What’s wrong?

A sound between a laugh and a sob spills from my lips as I trace the letters. The man can read minds through a text. Strong. Be strong. Ignore it. Let it go. Don’t make the situation any worse. After twenty minutes, my phone rings again. It’s him. I don’t pick it up. Instead I turn it off. I don’t want to hear him call again. It’s like a knife through the heart. I pull the covers over my head and fall into a fitful sleep.

Morning doesn’t bring any new conclusions other than the fact that I’m still miserable. I grab my phone and turn it on. It loads, and I hear a litany of pings. I scroll through the notifications. Chase called again and left a voice mail message. Two texts from Kat. Another text from Chase. A text from Ria and a text from Bree. Holy hell, last night was chock full of activity. I start reading Kathleen’s texts first.

To: Gillian Callahan

From: Kathleen Bennett

I’m here at Chloe’s showroom. Where are you?

Regret slams into me. Shit! I totally forgot. With the horrible morning, I wallowed in my own self-pity all day and forgot that I was supposed to meet Kat at Chloe’s designer showroom. Kat is going to be livid. I check her next message.

To: Gillian Callahan

From: Kathleen Bennett

I can’t believe you no-showed on me! Are you okay? What’s going on? You’re so lucky I love you. Chloe is amazing. I’m on Cloud 9. Call me ASAP. Besos.

At least someone had a good day. I skip down to Chase’s text message.

To: Gillian Callahan

From: Chase Davis

Chloe said you didn’t show up at her showroom but Kathleen did. I’m worried. Call me whenever you get this.

Hold strong, Gigi. No way in hell I’m calling him. I’m sticking to my guns on this one. I need time to sort this all out. I will, however, call Chloe and apologize for no-showing. That was just plain rude. I’ll also have to do damage control with Kat. One thing my girls and I don’t do is blow one another off without an explanation. I’m sure she got hold of Maria and found out that I was fine, otherwise I would have had a pissed-off friend at my door late last night. The next text is Bree.

To: Gillian Callahan

From: Bree Simmons

Thank you for the hook up with Phillip. We had a great time on Sunday. He’s taking me out this weekend! Woot woot! Oh and your ass is going to need its own zip code if you don’t get it to class soon. Besos

I laugh out loud. Oh, Bree, you’re just what I need right now. I’m definitely going to attend class tonight. The mental relief and peace yoga provides is exactly what I need. For me, yoga has always been a form of moving meditation. I quickly text her that I’ll be there tonight for class. Kat is next. I call her and get her voice mail. Score! I leave her a detailed message telling her a little about what happened yesterday and that I was in no mood to see Chase’s family. An apology coupled with kiss noises is the icing on that apology. She’ll forgive me. Soul sisters don’t hold grudges and the unwritten rule book states when one sister is flipping out, the others have to accept that the current sister may be out of her mind and not to take offense.

Ria’s text was just to see if I was okay, but I slept through it. She knew where I was when she came home, and I was asleep in the same position she left me in hours before.

I walk around my empty apartment. It’s Wednesday morning and I’m not at work. I’m not sick, though I feel as though I could toss my cookies at any moment. I decide to hit the gym. A nice long run on the treadmill will help clear my head.

A couple hours of cardio later, I’m still no closer to figuring out what to do about work and Chase. After eating a quick lunch, I decide to hit the yoga studio early in the evening. No reason to wait around doing nothing at home.

I arrive at I Am Yoga, and the five o’clock class is just getting settled on their mats. Bree sees me and looks up at the clock, back at me, and frowns. She walks over and gives me a hug.

“Hey, everything okay?” Concern fills her gaze.

I shake my head and take a deep breath.

“Are you sure you want to be here right now?” She holds my hand and squeezes.

“I need to be somewhere right now,” I say.

She nods. “Well, it looks to me like you need to center your Heart Chakra. The Heart Chakra is your heart’s power station. It connects you to your emotions. It is the center that allows you to love and give unconditionally. The heart governs your relationships. It is the energy center that integrates one's physical reality to one's spiritual connection.” She smiles and continues. “Are you having trouble with Chase?”

“Sort of. It’s hard to explain right now.” I gesture to the room of individuals sitting quietly waiting for class to start.

“Okay, but we will discuss this after class.” She quirks a brow, leaving no room for argument. “Now, get ready to fill that chakra full of love again!” She smiles and saunters to the head of the class. She has a raised step where her mat sits and situates herself into the lotus position. There’s track lighting above her shining on her form. She practically glows with her shiny blond hair reflecting the light. You can almost feel the ephemeral Zenful vibes she exudes.

Behind her is an entire wall of mirrors so that patrons can see their positions and adjust accordingly. The lights in the large open room are dimmed, and candles are lit throughout each corner of the room. She has Middle Eastern music softly pumping through the surround sound. It’s just loud enough to have something to focus on when you’re holding a position. The room smells like Valor, an essential oil that Bree burns in the corner of the room to help heighten the senses. It’s meant to help people calm and find their own personal center. Along the back wall are a total of five six-foot-tall and several feet wide brushed metal symbols. The one in the middle represents the “Om” symbol. The only reason I know that is because Bree has it tattooed on her wrist in the same position I have my trinity. The other four are pictorial symbols of the words “Mind, Body, Soul, and Happiness.”

I set my mat down and start to breathe deeply. I feel myself starting to dissolve into my headspace, otherwise known as my happy place. Nothing can hurt me here. Everything is calm and peaceful, and there are no worries to be had. I focus my full attention on the sound of Bree’s melodic voice bringing us into one asana or pose after another. My body reacts naturally to the instructions, seamlessly moving from position to position without problem. When my mind tries to muddy my happy place, I just breathe deep and focus on my breath and the pose I’m in. All thoughts are drowned out by the pure essence of the experience.

After Bree brings us out of what she refers to as “deep relaxation” or Shavasana in Sanskrit, I give her the lowdown. She is saddened by what I had to go through and wishes me luck finding my answers. Like Maria, she also encourages me to talk to Chase about it. I assure her I’ll think about it and touch base with her in a couple days. She hugs me tightly, and then I am on my way home. My mind and body feel lighter, more relaxed, but my heart still hurts.

I still haven’t come to any conclusions as I walk to my building. I enter the hallway and stop dead in my tracks. A large ominous man in a dark suit is leaning against my doorframe, obviously waiting for me. His face is stoic and unmoving but no less beautiful. Chase. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and walk toward him.

He doesn’t wait until I get to the door. In three strides, he’s looming over me. He grips my biceps and hauls me into a fierce kiss, moving to cup each cheek with his hands. I’m completely taken by surprise, his response not at all what I expected. Anger, yelling—those are emotions I expect, not bone-crushing lust. His lips fuse with mine as his tongue demands entry. I give in to him instantly, starved for his mouth, his taste, his everything. I melt into him, gripping and clawing at his neck and back to get closer, go deeper. He holds my head tightly, turning my face to the side, always inserting control. I am at his mercy, and right now I bend to his will, kissing him with a ferocity I hadn’t realized I had in me. Eventually he pulls his mouth away. His forehead presses to mine as we both pant and gulp for air.

“What the fuck is wrong, Gillian?” He’s fuming.

I don’t blame him.

“You ignore my calls, my texts, ditch me and my family?” His voice is scathing, ripping into my soul with each exhalation. Chase groans, pressing our bodies together. He barely contains his emotions. Physically, his back is ramrod straight. Muscles strained along the taut skin of his tight back. He holds his neck stiff as a board with a clenched jaw and that ever present twitching muscle.

“I know. I’m sorry,” I say miserably. Tears stream down my face. He pulls away and sees the misery in my eyes. He searches my face and kisses my tears away.

“Baby, tell me. I’ll fix it. Whatever it is, just tell me.” His anger is completely replaced with concern, and I want to fall into his arms and cry until I can’t cry anymore. The situation feels so hopeless.

I nod. “Let’s go inside. I’ll tell you everything.” I know now that it was stupid of me to even think I could manage such a harrowing decision on my own. It’s not fair of me to keep him in the dark when the outcome directly affects his role on the board or our relationship as it stands now.

Over the course of the next hour I explain in great detail what occurred yesterday morning, not leaving anything out. He paces the floor in front of me while I sit on the couch, hunched. My arms hold my knees to my chest in a protective ball.

“So I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t.” I sound like a whiny loser.

“That bitch! She will regret this,” he says out loud. His jaw is set, teeth clenched, and his fists are at his side as he wears a path in my carpet with his pacing.

“What? Who are you talking about?” I ask dumbfounded.

“Peterson. She’s pulling this shit because she found out that we’re together,” he says.

“That’s exactly what I just told you.”

I’m still confused when he stops and removes his jacket, folding it and setting it on the arm of the couch. His tie follows and he unhooks a couple of buttons at his collar. He takes a deep breath and adjusts his shoulders back and down.

Chase looks at me, not really wanting to continue. I plead with him with my eyes to be open to me the same way I have been with him.

He sighs. “Gillian, she has made several advancements towards me, none too subtly. I’ve turned her down each time.”

It finally dawns on me what he’s saying. “Are you telling me she’s doing this to us because she’s jealous? That it has nothing to do with the foundation being defamed or unethical business practices?” I’m completely stunned by his admission.

He smiles at me and points to his nose. “Exactly, my sweet. Obviously, it’s not ideal for a board member to date a staff member, but it’s not the end of the world. Not something she can use against you or threaten your job with. I’ll handle it,” he says with finality.

“Chase, what do you plan on doing?” I ask, scared of his answer. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to step down as chairman of the board. I couldn’t handle that.” The fear creaks up my spine as I stare at his disheveled appearance, from his wrinkled shirt to his finger-combed unruly hair. I put him through hell the last couple nights and for what? I should have gone to him at the very beginning.

He goes to his knees and places his hands on mine. “Baby, no. Just…” He takes a deep breath. “Trust me to handle this.”

I stare deeply into his eyes, trying to figure out my mercurial man.

“You are not going to lose your job. I am not stepping down from my position, and we are not ending our relationship.” He says in a calming tone. “Unless, of course, that’s what you want?”

“No, God, no. That’s the last thing I want.”

Chase visibly relaxes. He pulls my legs off the couch, separates my knees, and settles his large frame between them. He hugs me tight, leaving no room between us. I lean my head on his shoulder, taking in his scent. His wood-and-fruit scent cling to his clothes, soothing and enchanting. The man smells so good, every nerve ending in my body tingles. Finally I’m able to relax. The last two days drained me, and feeling his arms hold me tight makes me realize I should have never tried to figure this out on my own. Lesson learned. I squeeze him tighter to my body. His hand sweeps through my hair. I close my eyes and allow him to just touch me.

“I need to be with you tonight,” he whispers in my ear. His tone is thick with emotion.

My eyes must answer for him because he lifts me off the couch, and I wrap my legs around his waist. I think the alpha caveman in him likes carrying me to bed. While he walks to my room, he pulls out his phone and hits one button. The other arm rests securely under my bottom.

“I’ll be staying at Gillian’s,” he says into the phone. “Pick me up seven a.m. with a fresh change of clothing. Tell Dana to secure a meeting with David as early as possible first thing in the morning.” He hangs up without saying goodbye.

His take-charge voice and tone sends shivers of excitement through my body, making the space between my thighs soften and moisten.

He sets me on the bed and slowly removes my clothing. He grazes my ribs, down my sides, circles the flesh at my hips in a worshiping manner.

“I’d like to take a shower.” He frowns for a moment. “Join me?” And there’s the smile.

We take a nice long shower, making sure to wash every nook and cranny. Chase leads me to bed and spends the next couple hours making love to me. It isn’t the heated, rushed, “can’t wait to slake the lust” type of sex we’ve had before. He spends his time pleasuring me, bringing me to release several times over the course of our lovemaking. He’s relentless in his efforts. It’s as if he’s ensuring his position in my life, in my heart…within my body, deep into my soul.

I’m about to fall asleep, my head flat against his chest, his hands smoothing up and down my naked back in a loving caress, when he takes a deep cleansing breath.

“Don’t ever hide from me again. From this.” His tone is thick and unyielding.

Lifting my face, I lean on his chest and stare into his eyes. I don’t expect such intensity. His gaze is unguarded, soulful. “I won’t. I promise,” I whisper in the dark and kiss him softly before snuggling back into position on his bare chest. I know the promise I made is unending. We’re in this together. If we’re going to be together, I’m going to have to be honest with him in all things, at all times. I just hope he can handle knowing all of me, including my past.