Eight Years Ago

I’m stoked. AJ’s gesture was beyond sweet—not to mention intriguing—and more than proves he’s worth the chance. That’s why I’ve decided to do something daring. I’ve pushed aside those nagging reservations, and by doing so, not even the California sun could lift my mood any higher. Although, it can enhance it. And as I step outside the residence hall and the warmth hits my face, it does just that. I love living here and will pick sunny California over Vermont winters any day of the week. There’s something to be said about the weather rejuvenating your spirits, but it’s not like I need the extra dose of adrenaline today. For once, I’m ready to let loose.

And take a chance.

Adjusting the bag on my shoulder, I scan the courtyard for the guy in question. My search is short. AJ stands twenty feet away, looking as if he stepped out of Shape magazine. Tattooed and muscular, he’s as close to perfection as this weather. His loose fitted athletic shorts reveal those muscular, tanned legs, but I can’t get past those arms. There should be warning signs posted that read “Caution: Arm Porn Ahead.” I swear every shirt he owns showcases his biceps. I’m not complaining, but how’s a girl supposed to keep her wits?

He greets me with a smile as bright as the sun, and the same shot of adrenaline races through my body. How can his presence have this type of effect?

“You came.”

The hint of surprise in his tone catches me off guard. “You say that as if you questioned it?”

“Nah, I knew you couldn’t resist me.” He cocks his head and stares with a look that says he owns the world. Or owns me.

“You are a cocky one, aren’t you?”

His laugh should be a sign to stay away, but I don’t heed the warning. Instead, I stick to my resolve. I’ll see this through.

“I thought you girls like strong, confident men.”

“Confidence, yes; assholes, no. You know, fine line and all.”

“Noted.” His lips twitch as the word comes out playfully. He nudges his chin toward the right. “You set?”

“It depends. What are we doing?” His clues have been vague on what this Sunday afternoon entails. All I knew was to grab my art supplies and wear casual clothes. At least that’s what I took from his wader’s comment.

“Not so fast. It’s a surprise.” A sparkle brightens those brown orbs as he gives me a once over. “You look nice.”

I smooth out the frayed ends of my jean shorts. “I thought you meant casual, so…”

“It’s perfect.”

My gaze sweeps to his. The assertion in his voice and the intensity from his stare awaken every butterfly in the pit of my stomach. The word “thanks” hangs on the end of my tongue, but I can’t speak. What the heck? I don’t get nervous around guys. Ever. True, I haven’t liked too many, but there was one I crushed on back in high school. He was cute and popular. We ended up dating for a while, but even in the beginning, I never felt anxious—not like I do now.

His lips part, and I hold my breath, trying hard not to imagine how they’d feel pressed against mine. But it’s too late. I let my guard down, and the thoughts implant in my mind. God, I hope he can’t read my thoughts.

AJ’s eyes close, and he shakes his head. Whatever he was going to say or do is lost to the moment. He clears his throat. “I’m parked by your dorm. I assume your car is still parked off campus?”

“Yeah, we have to go down Sheffield Avenue about five blocks to the public parking garage.”

He offers to take my bag, and once I hand it over, we step forward.

“Isn’t the monthly parking rate expensive?”

“Yeah, but since they won’t give parking permits to freshman, I don’t have much choice. No way would I be this far from home without wheels of my own.”

“Spoiled much?” His shoulders shake as he delivers the words, so I know he’s kidding.

“Whatever, I won’t be without my car.” We approach a shiny black Camaro, and I let out a whistle. “Talk about being spoiled.”

“Nah, it’s only a loaner.” He opens the passenger door for me and drops his voice to a teasing tone. “Unlike some people, I don’t have a car on campus.”

“Technically, it’s not on campus.” I slide into the seat. “Trust me, it’s a long, boring drive from the East Coast to the West Coast.”

“I can’t even imagine.” He shuts the door, and I face forward. I can’t imagine it either, because my mom paid for a car hauler. Perhaps I am spoiled.

We arrive at the garage, and I direct him to the fourth level. “It’s the white Toyota Corolla by the stairwell.”

He pulls beside my car, and I bolt out the passenger door before he slides the gear shift into park.

“Just pop open the trunk, and I’ll transfer what I need over.”

I hurry. No way do I want AJ seeing the mess I’ve created. My housekeeping skills are less than stellar when it comes to my car. But I should have known better when it comes to AJ. The slam of his door kills any hopes of keeping him at bay.

“Seriously, I’ve got this.” I motion for him to get back in the car, but he shakes his head.

“I’m not sitting in a car and watch you do all the work.”

I bite my lip, my thumb hovering the trunk button on my key fob. Beneath his arrogant exterior lies a gentleman begging to surface. But does it have to be today? I eye my white sedan and take a deep breath, before pressing the button. Here goes nothing.

The lid lifts, and I’m suddenly the girl from my childhood dreams. The one where I walk into a classroom with everyone staring and realize I’m naked. Except, it’s not my body exposed. It’s the last few months of my life.

“What the hell is all this stuff?” AJ asks.

“Memories.” I try to keep my tone lighthearted, but the emotions swirling inside are anything but. Another reason why my trunk is extra storage; the reminders hurt too much.

AJ picks the ballerina slippers up and dangles them from his large fingers. His left eyebrow arches as a mischievous look overtakes his expression. “A ballerina, huh?”

“I hold my own.”

The sexiest moan escapes his mouth. “I heard some of those poses make having sex rather exciting.”

I clear my throat to disguise my surprise from his directness. He’s right. The positions can be quite interesting, but I’m not going there with him. Not yet, anyway. I smack his arm playfully and try not to think about how great those muscles feel underneath my fingertips.

“Maybe, but I’ll never tell.” Without pause, I point to the fishing tackle. “These lures here were my dad’s favorites. Sounds crazy to take them with me since the dorms are baby-sized, but I couldn’t leave them behind.”

A beat passes before the dirtiest little smirk slides into place. He places the slippers back down, but there’s no mistaking his murmur. “I still want to see you in these.”

“I reserve that image for people worthy enough.”

“Fuck, you’re killing me.”

“Okay, show me your surprise.”

His eyebrow raises. “Oh, I have a surprise all right.”

My face warms. At least his sense of humor is good for blocking the haunted memories. “I mean the one you’re taking me to.”

He laughs. “But I like this surprise better.”

I roll my eyes, pretending to be annoyed.

Once we move the supplies from my trunk, AJ drives northeast from the city. It’s an area I’ve yet explored. With a full semester under my belt, I’ve only been to the beach. I have no regrets. I freaking love the ocean. The few paintings tucked in the tiny excuse of my dorm closet are my favorite works. I dubbed them closet-worthy. If the paintings are worth selling, they’re closet-worthy and stay with me. Otherwise, they get mailed back home to Mom.

An hour later, the mountain range nears, but AJ veers onto a gravel road. He still refuses to tell me where we’re going, but he must be excited. He hasn’t stopped grinning since we left.

A few twists and turns later, the sparkle from a body of water grabs my attention. I’m left speechless as he pulls into the designated parking area.

“How did you know about this area?” I ask after finding my voice.

“I did my research.”

The confidence in his tone sends shivers down my spine. I glance at the pond through the windshield. Tall cattails surround the outer banks, and a tailspin of memories, good and bad, flood my mind. I try to suppress a smile but fail. And just like home, the mountains set off in the distance are surrounded by pine trees. “It’s breathtaking.”

“Agreed.”

The smoothness of his voice pulls my attention away from the landscaping and back to him. He leans over the console, a few inches away from my face. My heart skitters. His stare holds meaning, but I can’t decipher what. If only I could read his thoughts. A few intense breaths later, he blinks and backs away.

“Come on. I’ll grab the equipment. You’ve wanted to paint for a while.”

“How would you know that?” It’s true, but he wouldn’t have any clues about my desires. At least he shouldn’t.

“Back at the library, I could see it in your eyes. When you sketched your dad” — he shrugs— “I just knew.”

“You’d be right. I haven’t painted anything since last semester.”

“We’ll change that.” He winks, and I’m a little taken back by CU’s star catcher paying attention to the tiny details. More importantly, my details.

He sets my easel on the dock by the clearing. I must admit, he thought of everything: a blanket, snacks, cooler filled with drinks, and even lawn chairs, or in my case, a stool. It’s too surreal and unbelievable if I’m being honest.

“Why are you doing this?” The words leave my mouth in a whisper, and I don’t expect him to answer.

“You said to be original.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Our first date can’t be anything but extraordinary.” He pats my seat. “We’ll talk while you paint. Or are you the type of artist that needs to have utter silence to be creative?”

“We can talk. I don’t have to ponder what to paint. The subject is drawn in front of me already.”

The breeze blows my hair back as I step on the wooden planks. Ripples of water splash lazily against the sides, and a school of tadpoles scatters beneath. I place the canvas on the easel while AJ unfolds his lawn chair behind me.

Once the acrylics are set, I take the two-inch brush and paint the entire canvas with a liquid white for my base. AJ settles into his seat.

“Are you sure you’re not going to be bored to tears watching me?”

“Nah.” He pulls out his notebook. “I’ll work on my essay. Trust me. There isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be.”

Such a bullshitter. With a shake of my head, I position the plastic palette and tap the brush into the phthalo blue paint. The sky forms beneath my hand with each crisscross stroke.

“So, you’re from Pennsylvania. What town?”

“Jonesburg. It’s about an hour commute from Philadelphia.”

“Any brothers or sisters?”

“One sister, Cara.”

Brush in hand, I pause and glance behind my shoulder. The soft expression covering AJ’s face is as mesmerizing as the scenic pond.

“She’s younger. Full of spunk. You?”

“I have a brother and a sister. Both younger.” I go back to cutting in the mountain range. “My mom’s a trooper. My sister…keeps her busy. After Dad’s death, my brother isn’t handling things well. He’s a talented catcher like you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep, I think he’ll get a scholarship if he doesn’t mess it up. This past year has been rough for him. On all of us, really.”

“Sorry about your dad. When did he pass away?”

“He died last May.” I concentrate on the brushstrokes, the skyline taking shape, and stave off the tears. The last thing I want to do is cry in front of him. “With Dad gone and Mom preoccupied with Anna, my brother has been acting out. He’s doing stupid stuff. Juvenile things, but still. Just dumb.”

AJ takes a deep breath, and I swear he looks like he’s in a different place.

“He’ll be fine. Just keep him focused on baseball.”

“I do. Even before Dad died, I played ball with him. I couldn’t tell you how many two-men juggling drills we did.”

He leans forward, forearms resting on his knees. “You’re different than most girls.”

I lower the palette and swivel to face him. “In what way?”

“You’re driven and strong. Focused on other things besides name brands or hair. God, what is it with the girls’ obsession about their hair in this city?”

I laugh. “I think you give me too much credit. I wouldn’t turn down a beautiful pair of Jimmy Choo’s.”

“Not from what I’ve seen. You’re better than most.”

My jaw drops, but I seem to have lost the ability to speak. No rebuttal comes to mind. At least, none that I can voice. If he knew the real me—what I have done—he’d think otherwise.

“What do you want to do after you graduate? I bet you have it figured out.”

I turn back to the painting and add the finer details. I don’t want to see his expression when I admit my dream. Most of my family doesn’t take my art seriously, which I’m okay with. Being an artist is risky, I get it. But for some reason, I don’t want AJ to think of me as the girl with pipe dreams.

“The ultimate plan is to own an art studio.” I cut in some of the highlights, the painting almost finished. “I want to live near the beach. I’ve seen the Atlantic but wanted to explore other options. One of the reasons I chose Cessna was for the art department. It’s highly acclaimed and near the Pacific.”

“Selling your art, hmm...”

He grows quiet, seemingly pondering my words as I continue to paint. When he doesn’t say anything more, I continue. “I’d like nothing more than to paint and sell my art. But not just my work. Other artists too. Ones who paint abstract pieces to add variety. Sort of a mass appeal approach.”

I bite my lip and brush the last stroke, keeping my focus on the painting. My heart races as I wait for his response. I wonder if I said too much. The slight shuffle of the lawn chair does nothing to calm me. Everyone back home supports my dream—I wouldn’t be at this school otherwise—but even their encouraging words were always followed with an underlying warning. “It’s good to have goals but keep them realistic” was a phrase repeated to me many times. My dad, who was my biggest supporter, still wanted me to be level-headed.

Warmth surrounds me as AJ’s tall frame hovers behind me. He’s silent as he takes in the painting I finished.

“With this much talent, you’ll do great.”

He points to the cluster of cattails I painted along the pond, but I pay no attention to the painting. Instead, I focus on the ink covering his arm. The design is so complex I’d love to know if they hold any special meaning. His breath moves my hair as he leans closer to my ear. The surrounding air changes. It’s more charged and full of what-ifs. Like, what if I bend my rule of not dating unobtainable guys? Technically, I already have, but would the eventual heartbreak be worth the pleasure this incredible body is sure to give?

“This is as beautiful as you. You’re very talented.” His hand sweeps along my arm and sends chills down my spine.

Oh yeah, so worth the risk.

“Thanks.” I place the brush down and angle my chin to where our lips are mere inches apart, but I can still see the deep brown speckles in his eyes.

“Makes me wonder what other talents you possess.”

My cheeks flame, but I’m more prepared for his dirty suggestions this time. “I have a lot of hidden talents.”

A low moan escapes his mouth as his gaze dips to my lips. I think he’s about to take advantage of our proximity, and I’ll know exactly how those lips feel, but he backs away instead. I fight to hide my disappointment.

“You hungry?” he asks.

I want to scream, “No, kiss me instead,” but on cue, my stomach growls. “Guess so.”

After cleaning the brushes, I join AJ on the blanket along the embankment, the sub sandwich and bag of chips a welcome sight. He hands me a bottle of water along with a paper cup.

“I have something special for us to drink.”

Half-expecting him to pull out a bottle of wine, I let out a laugh when his big surprise is nothing other than orange juice. “You following this up with vodka or something?”

“No, Miss Underage, I’m not. What’s wrong with orange juice?”

I smile. “Nothing. Just didn’t expect it.”

“I don’t drink during the season. Coach has a strict policy against it. The last thing I need is to be caught giving alcohol to a minor.” He’s grinning, but there’s a level of seriousness to his tone.

“I wouldn’t want to jeopardize the star catcher’s future.” I nudge his shoulder as he fills my cup. A little orange juice splashes on my finger. Not giving it a thought, I suck the droplets off the side and AJ takes in a deep breath, my every movement being noticed.

He double blinks before responding. “You’re fine. But I can’t do anything too crazy.”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want you to have a rap sheet going into the majors.”

The corners of his mouth dip into a frown as he studies his drink for a second. He swirls the orange juice a few times before tipping it back and guzzling it.

“What made you want to play baseball? Have you always played?”

He runs his hand through his thick ebony hair. “I had certain influences in my life. Once my bat connected with the ball, I knew in the field is where I belonged.”

“You’re certainly good at it.”

“Thanks.”

We finish eating in peace while the painting dries. I should ship this piece home with the others to free some much-needed space, but this particular one stays. It’s closet-worthy.

“Go out with me tomorrow. Like a real date. Practice ends at six, so I can be ready by seven. We have away games this weekend and a few games during the week. Monday is the only chance I’ll get.”

His eyes bore into mine awaiting my response. Warning bells should be alarming in my head and sounding around my heart with chains. When I decided to give him a chance, I didn’t expect to enjoy hanging around him this much. But dang it. He found a way to make me care. All this trouble he went through to make sure our date was unique can’t be ignored. I have a feeling my heart will not be safe around this guy.

“I’ll be ready, but I do have an early class on Tuesday. Can we make it close to campus?”

His chuckle is cute. “You’re too sweet. You like Mexican?”

“Yeah.”

“La Potosina is five blocks from campus. Would that be okay?”

“That’d be great.”

It doesn’t take long before we’re back on the road and pulling into the parking garage.

“Shit.”

I startle at AJ’s outburst. “What’s wrong?”

Half a second is all it takes to notice the broken glass lying on the pavement. I glance up and notice several cars have been hit. “Oh no.”

With shaky hands, I tug the door handle and exit the car the moment the wheels stop rolling. My heart sinks when the evidence points to the busted driver’s side window.

“I’m calling the police now,” AJ says, but his voice is distant.

Tears coat my eyes as I assess the damage. I don’t care about the CDs I had scattered around the console. Are they even worth anything these days? Or the change I have saved for the toll roads when I trek back across the country. But my possessions in the trunk are another story. I swallow hard and reach for my keys. With everything I have, I force myself to open the trunk. A mixture between a gasp and wail rings my ears before I realize the sound is coming from me. Everything is gone. My knees buckle, and strong arms wrap around my waist, preventing my fall.

“My dad” is all I get out before the tears fall and leave me speechless. AJ turns me into his hard chest, and I stand there sobbing, wrapped inside the protection of his arms.

He doesn’t say a word, just protects me, as my body works through the pain of losing everything. When the last sob wracks through my body, I find my strength as anger seeps into the holes the emptiness left behind. I spin away from him and start searching the trunk for any memorabilia left behind. But other than an old blanket, there’s nothing.

“What would they want with the stuff they took? The fishing lures I understand, but used ballerina shoes? How could that bring them money?”

AJ remains quiet as guilt coats his eyes. He has nothing to be guilty for. They would’ve taken everything regardless if we were on a date or not. I continue to rant. “God, I hate a thief. There isn’t anything worse.”

AJ visibly stiffens, and maybe I’m being beyond ridiculous, but the thieves took everything. Silly stuff that wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else but me.

“Why would they take my inspirational poster? They don’t need to be better thieves. They’re pretty good already. Everything’s gone.”

“Since this isn’t the only vehicle, they were probably just looking for items they could make a quick buck on.” His voice is distant, and he steps back when the cops arrive.

After the police take our statement, the drive back to the dorm remains quiet. It seems AJ’s demeanor cooled, but I’m too upset to talk about it. Or even care. He walks me to my dorm and gives me a hug.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say absentmindedly.

AJ nods. “Get some rest.”

I should cancel our date, but it’s the only positive thing I have right now, and if I’m honest, I’m still looking forward to it. As I walk to my room, I realize one thing. He never kissed me.