Damn, that woman can suck. Fucking deep-throated me, and I’m not a small man. Even lying here after two orgasms myself, and countless for her, my cock twitches at the thought of being inside her wet heat again.

Rylie’s breathing is coming hard and fast as she lies next to me, her hair spread out on my arm that’s under her neck. We stare at the ceiling, no one talking, yet not needing to. Comfortable silence. Peace. Something I didn’t think was possible during the shit-storm that is my life.

“Stay with me,” she whispers, still looking above her and not at me, like she’s afraid of what my answer or reaction will be to those words.

When I say nothing after a moment, she rolls off to the side.

“Never mind. Shouldn’t have—”

I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her back onto the bed, cutting off her words. She gives a small cry in surprise.

“Ya know, you should really let a man talk before you start jumpin’ to conclusions.”

Her body tenses, but she says nothing.

“Better havin’ your tight ass against me while I sleep instead of that lumpy-ass couch.” I kiss the top of her head. “Sure, babe.”

She lets out a deep breath and nestles her ass into my crotch, reminding me I need to take off the condom. I give her a squeeze.

“Gotta get this off.”

“Okay.”

I roll off, do my business, come back, and toss the covers over the both of us. Never knew I liked holding a woman in my arms while I slept. Tonight proves that I do.

Brewer jumps on the bed, shaking it.

“Come here, boy,” Rylie calls, and I feel the dog lie down on the other side of her. Fine by me.

* * *

Loud banging and a doorbell going off wakes me from the most peaceful damn sleep I’ve had in more years than I can count. Two days in a fucking row I’ve been woken up by this shit. This had better not be Coop, or I’ll lay his ass out.

Brewer barks, obviously not liking whoever is waking us, either.

Rylie groans, rolling over. “Who the fuck is here?”

“That’d be my question, babe.”

“Right. Brewer, chill.”

When she throws the covers off her, I wrap her in my arms. Her naked body presses to mine, and my cock instantly hardens. Damn, this woman undoes me.

“Stay here. I’ll take care of it.”

“You sure?”

I kiss her temple. “Yeah.”

After giving her a squeeze and finding my jeans, I make my way to the door that whoever is behind is making a hell of a damn noise. In all the action last night, I left my gun in the truck. Great damn place for it. Brewer is hot on my heels.

Looking through the peephole, I see an older woman standing there with light brown hair that’s cut super short and curled tight against her scalp. She’s wearing a light blue skirt that looks like a fabric quilt. She squints at the peephole like she knows I’m looking through it.

“Rylie!” the woman yells, just as I open the door. She halts, taking me in.

“Somethin’ I can help you with?” I ask as the dog barks twice.

“Who are you?” she clips, turning her nose up at me.

I get enough of that shit from my so-called family, I won’t eat hers, too.

“Aunt Beatrice?” Rylie asks, coming behind me.

“Floozy. Knew you were. This proves it. Some man opening the door and you in nothing but a T-shirt.”

“Nice to see you, too,” Rylie clips. “What do you want?”

“Told you I was short this month—”

“And I told you, I wasn’t givin’ you shit. Now you show up at my house?”

“After all that I did for you, you owe me,” the aunt growls low.

Rylie moves in front of me quickly, and Brewer gets by her side with a growl of his own. I really fucking like that dog.

“Done for me? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? You did shit for me. I lived on the fuckin’ streets because you didn’t want anything to do with me. You hate me. You’ve told me time and time again. Hell, my mother liked everyone, but you. I told you last time you called to forget my number. Now you forget where I live. I don’t want to hear from you ever again.”

“How dare you say such things about my sister! She loved me!”

Rylie chuckles. “Yeah, she loved you, but she damn sure didn’t like your ass.”

“You ungrateful—”

“Me? I’m ungrateful? You’re the one who took all of my parents’ money and squandered it away.”

“I used it to take care of you.”

“What, feeding me? Nope. Did that myself. Buyin’ me clothes? Nope. Did that myself, too. You haven’t done a damn thing for me my entire life. I had no choice but to go with you. Now I do, and I don’t want you in my life anymore.” The entire time, she keeps her voice eerily calm.

“You know who I am and what I can do,” the woman threatens.

Personally, I thought the woman was full of shit, spouting crazy at Rylie. The way she said that, though, sends me on alert.

“And you know who I am. Don’t fuckin’ threaten me. I’ll end you.”

Rylie steps back from the door, slamming it, and then locking it. Brewer once again is at her side. She doesn’t meet my eyes as she moves to the living room and stands behind one of her chairs. She plants her fists in the soft cushion at the top while her head is bowed, looking at them. She has a slight tremble to her body, but it doesn’t come off as fear. No, it comes off as rage. Full-blown rage.

I totally get what she feels right now, so I decide my best bet is to let her have this moment. I toss my ass down on the couch, throw my arm over my eyes, and wait.

It doesn’t take long.

“That fuckin’ bitch. I need to burn her to the ground.” Rylie hits the chair once and breathes out. “Fuck, I hate her.”

I don’t talk, just let her get whatever she needs out. This is what I would need, along with a punching bag.

It takes her several beats before she blows out, “I’ll make breakfast.” Then she leaves me in the living room.

* * *

“You really don’t need to move out, Deke,” Austyn says as I gather my bag of shit. I put most of it in a storage unit in town, not wanting shit to get stolen out of the back of my truck. I don’t have a lot, but still, what’s mine is mine. Come to find out the Ravage MC owns it, which is something new.

“Need my own space.”

“I kinda like having you here,” she says shyly.

“I’m still around.”

“You haven’t slept here in, like, four nights, Deke.”

Very true, because I’ve been at Rylie’s. But she doesn’t need to know that.

There is an insecurity in her eyes I don’t like. I also know, as much as she wants me to stay, I can’t.

“Thanks, kid. You got your head screwed on straight after what happened?”

She stills at my comment, eyes going wide, obviously not expecting me to bring that up. Too fuckin’ bad.

“I’m fine, Deke. No more talking about that. Ever.”

“You ever need to, I’m around.”

“Right.”

She gives me a hug, and I reciprocate before pulling away and heading to my new place. It’s not anything fancy, but it’s got a bedroom, which is more than my old place had. Not to mention the living room is bigger and could fit a pull-out couch. I hate fucking shopping, but I’ll scratch that off my agenda later today.

My cell rings, and I see the display says, Cruz calling. Fuck. I should let it go to voicemail, but he’s left me alone for the most part.

“Yeah.”

“Clubhouse, one hour.” The line disconnects.

Great, I’m being fucking summoned. Such bullshit. Then why I find myself going an hour later is up for debate. Instincts, I suppose.

Entering the clubhouse, Cruz greets me by lifting his chin, turning, then walking down the hallway. I look for my father, but don’t see him anywhere. Either he’s waiting for me in Cruz’s office or this is a one-on-one show.

Instead of my father, Cooper stands there with his hip against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, his eyes focused on me as I lift my chin.

The door behind me closes.

Cruz doesn’t waste time. “Hear you’re good with cars and bikes. Want you workin’ in the shop.”

Ravage owns Banner Automotive, which is on the clubhouse property. When I was a kid, my father would bring me there and teach me. We’d work together on cars, bikes, and trucks. It’s where I learned most of what I know. Good times were had in that shop. Now, though, I’m not interested.

“No.”

I turn to move, considering this is all they wanted. I’m not getting sucked into the Ravage MC by working for them.

“Stop,” Cruz commands, deep and authoritative, just like when Coop and I used to get into trouble back in the day.

Cooper rounds the chairs in front of the desk and comes toward me, saying nothing.

“Deke, you need to get over whatever shit you’re carrying around. This is family. We’re two men down and need the help. You’re in town, you’re good.”

“What makes you think for one second that I want to come and work for Ravage?”

Cruz crosses his arms. “Need you back in the fold.”

“Is that right? Then why isn’t my ol’ man here? Right, because he doesn’t want me anywhere near here. Only puttin’ up with me because of Mom. You think I want to be a part of that shit?”

“You always wanted to be part of the club,” Cooper says. “You gonna say that’s changed? It’s a part of you, in your blood, and who you are—who we are.”

“No shit? You know this. We fuckin’ talked about it. It’s nothin’ new. But shit’s changed. I’ve changed.”

“Have no doubt you’ve changed,” Cruz says, his eyes suddenly very aware. “You weren’t ready then. Can’t deny that shit. Now, you are.”

“Just like that?” I snap my finger in the air. “You know jack shit about me. How the fuck do you know I’m ready? I call bullshit.”

“You’d be smart, because you have a lot to prove,” Cruz responds, leaning his ass against his desk and crossing his ankles in front of him. “This is your first step. You ready to take it?”

Damn, this is huge.

A war wages inside of me. For four years, I’ve fought this, and now it’s all coming back in an explosion.

“What makes you think I’m even stayin’ after this shit is out of my mom?”

“Because, you left her once and missed four years. She beats this shit, you’re not gonna waste any more time. Not only that, I hear you have a girl here.”

This catches my attention. I should’ve known they’d have someone digging into me. Wouldn’t surprise me if it was Cooper himself.

“Leave Rylie out of this shit,” I growl, not liking her name brought up in any of this.

“Got no problem with her. She fuckin’ works for us, Deke. Just know you’ve got somethin’. Don’t see you wantin’ to jump ship on your mother and her any time soon.”

I don’t, but fuck. Getting back in the club life is the unknown. This can’t be an option.

Shit, can it?

“Know you got a shitload of cash in the bank and probably don’t need to work.”

I growl again, anger bubbling in my veins. “Stay out of my shit.”

Cruz chuckles. “Nah, it’s better this way. But we need you here. Starting as soon as possible.”

“Since you checked into shit, you know how much I make.”

“Yep, and you’ll be compensated the same.”

Fuck me.

“I’ll think about it.”

“No isn’t an option. It’s family, Deke,” Cruz says, dipping his chin.

I take it as my exit. I don’t look back as I get the fuck out of there. I need a drive and a heavy bag.

Fuck, I’m getting sucked back into the Ravage MC. This is unexpected.

* * *

“You don’t have to do this,” Rylie says from the passenger side of my truck.

After leaving the clubhouse and thinking, the anger inside me started to flow over like hot lava. I tried going to the gym and beating it out of the bag, but it didn’t help. That’s where I saw Rylie and took her up on the offer to go see her guy Schade at the fight club. I need to get this aggression out and settle down the demons inside of me.

Fuck, this is bad. Really bad.

Crawling out of an unknown bed, the weight of the night hits me like a concrete block, forcing me to sink below the surface of the water.

I didn’t use. I know I fucking didn’t, yet the drug is in my body, surging through my veins, almost out of my system.

I’ve felt this enough times to know. If only I could figure out why I feel this shit.

I made a vow to myself after the second stint in rehab that I wouldn’t touch the stuff, no matter what, I was going to pull myself together. For one week, I’ve been able to hack it and stay strong.

Last night, some guys from school wanted to go out. Nothing exciting, just some racing down on the dirt on Corner Road. We were just going to watch, and that was cool.

It wasn’t until much later that he made his appearance, one I couldn’t avoid. No matter where I turned, he was there. I even told the guys I needed to head out. They were with me, but they needed to make their rounds before we could go. They were tight with most of the people there.

If I would’ve stayed in my place and not left, I wouldn’t have seen it. I wouldn’t have been knocked out. And I wouldn’t be feeling like I’ve been run over by a bus this morning. I wouldn’t have this craving so fiercely.

The problem with addiction is it never ends with just one hit. Withdrawal is hell. This feeling, though … having shit in my system, I swear I didn’t put it there. It’s a loss of all control.

I drag my ass to my buddy’s and clean up before I head home. I need to talk to my dad. He’s the only one who can tell me what to do and how to play this. I know I’m in trouble, because that asshole won’t stop. His threats ring through my ears.

Pulling up to my house, I look in the mirror. My eyes have turned back to white, but bags show how exhausted I am. I hope like hell he can’t tell I was on anything last night.

The door swings open as I make my way up and my father stands there with his arms crossed.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

Damn, he’s already pissed. Regardless, I need to get through to him.

“Jon’s,” I answer, entering the house. The door slams behind me.

“See you’re up to your old shit again,” he clips as I turn and face him in the entryway of my childhood home.

I rush, “It’s not that, Dad. I need to talk to you.”

“Fucking little shit! I can’t believe you!” His voice is so loud the neighbors will be eating this shit up. “Kept your mom up all fuckin’ night, and not a care in the world to what your shit does to her. Ungrateful shit.”

“It’s not what you—”

My father steps forward, getting in my face. “One time you go out, and you’re on that shit again. Knew I shoulda locked your ass down. But your mother wanted to give you a chance. She always wants to give you another chance. She ends up wide awake and worried. Now you’ve fucked it all up. You fucking disgust me!” he roars, and I take a step back.

“Dad …” I try again, but he laughs.

“You’re done. I don’t want to hear shit from you.” The vein in his neck pulses, and he clenches his fists, no doubt wanting to knock some sense in me. But he’s wrong, and he won’t listen. He’s too far gone. Too far pissed off at me.

There is no way he will believe me. I know what I need to do. He’s left me no other choice.

What we had is gone.

Fighting another person is the only way to beat back the anger. Pounding into flesh, hearing the grunts of a man taking my blows, it’s a reminder I’m in control.

Being part of that club was what I desired for so many years. Then, when I left, I never thought I’d be tossed back into the fold.

I’m no moron. If I take this job at the garage, I’m in. Also, there’ll be payback for the way I left. There’ll be consequences for all of that. Plus, I’ll have to prove myself repeatedly until they get the me I am now. It seems like a fuck of a lot of work for your family to accept you.

I just need to clear my head of everything warring inside of it. Then maybe I’ll be able to find some calm.

“Need to. Tonight.”

“You want to talk about it?” she asks.

“Not now.”

She turns back toward the window. I can see that I’ve let her down by not talking to her, but I’m just not there.

The meeting takes all of ten minutes. I tell the man I’ll do the fight for free. The way Rylie sounded, the man was afraid of the club coming into play, but he didn’t have any qualms after the word free came from my lips.

Rylie tapes me up as the crowd goes wild. They don’t know me, but some obviously remember me from the other night. Fine by me.

The guy is about the same size as me, with fire breathing in his eyes. It doesn’t matter, because I don’t see him after the bell goes off. Instead, a red haze fills my vision, and I let loose.