CHAPTER 13
As Jesse’s back slid against the fluffy white flannel sheet, she honed in on Travis’s large, splayed hand against her shoulder. He had picked her up, naked, and carried her to the king-sized bed. Just getting to have their flesh meet finally melted her heart and heated her soul. This was the man she wanted to run to when she was scared, confused or joyously happy. He’d just come from taking a hot shower and his skin was taut and moist, the fragrance of the lime-scented soap mingling in her flaring nostrils. There was a night light near the closed door, lending just enough light that she could see the deep planes and shadows across his face. Releasing his shoulders as he positioned her on the bed, she held that hunter-like look in his eyes. Travis came alongside her, his arm curving beneath her neck, his other hand resting against her hip, and she smiled up at him.
Reaching up, she threaded her fingers through his short, damp hair, liking that he hadn’t shaved, the darkness of his beard lending dramatically to his masculinity that inspired her. His erection, strong and warm, lay against her belly. Sliding his hand to the small of her back he eased her fully against him. The scent of his skin increased her hunger and she leaned up, kissing his shoulder, creating a trail along his strong neck, across his jaw, and finding that mouth of his that spiraled her into boiling heat as he captured her lips. He took her strongly, letting her know how starved he was for her. The ache between her thighs increased tenfold as he took her to heights she’d never attained before, his hand caressing her breast, sending shocking pleasure radiating through it and then tunneling downward into her clenching lower body.
Lost within the strength of him as a man, that wonderful mouth of his wreaking sweet havoc upon her, she allowed herself to become lost in the wildness building frantically between them. In an unexpected move, he rolled over on his back and then lifted her, settling her gently on top of his hard erection. Hands splayed against his dark-haired chest, eyes barely open, her fluids gliding along his length, making her groan with promise of what was to come.
Somewhere in her anesthetized brain where she could barely think coherently, Jesse understood why he’d done this. Travis knew she hadn’t had sex in a long, long time, and that by choosing this position, it gave her total control of how much or little she could accept him into herself. A powerful love flowed through her as she tightened her thighs against his narrow hips, moving fluidly and slickly against him. The growl of satisfaction coming from him was like an earthquake of promises to come as his hands wrapped firmly around her hips, guiding her, bringing her down against him, triggering small explosions that promised she would quickly orgasm.
No one was more surprised than she was when she did exactly that without him ever being within her. A cry, part animal, part human, rose in her throat as the explosion tripled swiftly within her, throwing her out into a tumbling darkness that she moved into with pure, unadulterated pleasure. Eyes tightly closed, her hands digging into the taut flesh of his chest as she rode that rocket expanding hotly in outgoing undulations that increased within her, she felt him helping to prolong the gift her body had just given her. It was then, in some far corner of her mind, that she realized Travis wanted nothing but pleasure for her in every possible way. He loved her. That thought brought a second, more powerful orgasm and she screamed, hurled into the night, the Fourth of July erupting and surrounding her. For untold minutes, she was lost completely in the primal animal of her body taking its own pleasure and her being the recipient of all of it.
It was so easy to lean forward, allowing him to flow into her. She was heated and wet, her juices paved a slick ribbon deep within her body that eagerly welcomed him. The rocking motion, his hands cupping her hips, holding her in place, knowing from experience the angle and pressure she needed to orgasm a third time, catapulted her into that same boiling heat and animal gratification as before. And as she languished in the arms of that volcanic pleasure, she felt him stiffen, give out a growl and freeze as he climaxed deep within her. They swirled together, locked into one another’s arms as one.
Feeling faint, she lay against him, breathing raggedly, her hands restless, curving around his head, kissing him, their mouths clinging hotly to one another. She eased her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp, hearing him groan. His hands were exploring her and it felt as if he were mapping her body, memorizing her with his caresses and adoring her.
Travis eased upward and pulled the covers over them, the soft flannel against their damp bodies. He was feeling weak and satiated, joy pounding through his heart as he gathered Jesse up against him. They fit so well together and he closed his eyes, sleep coming quickly.
*
December 15
“Are you hungry?” Travis asked Jesse. They had slept together, awakened, loved one another as they showered, and then gotten dressed. It was nearly eight a.m. and Travis had fed Freya and Blue first.
“Starving,” Jesse admitted, cutting up some squares of sharp cheddar cheese for the omelet that he was going to make them. Her whole body vibrated softly with the memory of last night. Waking up in Travis’s arms was dream-like. She’d been a single woman so long that she’d forgotten the coziness of having a male partner to share her bed and the next morning.
Travis gave the dogs fresh water and went to the sink, washing his hands. “We slept like rocks last night.”
Her lips pulled upward. “I didn’t realize just how tired I was. And you know something? Ever since I had those wild, powerful orgasms, I’m not tensing up like I usually do.”
He wiped his hands on a towel, dropping it on the counter, giving her a wry look. “Sex always helps people with PTSD. It somehow short circuits some of the symptoms for a while. It’s a healing space for us.”
“Mmmm,” she replied, dropping the cubes of cheese into a bowl that held sliced tomatoes and onions. “I feel so loose and easy going this morning. Of course, having no orgasm for nearly two years also added a layer to our lovemaking last night.”
“You were in ecstasy,” he teased, pride in his tone. He cracked six eggs into a nearby bowl. “But so was I. It was good for both of us.”
“Was it ever.” She pulled the milk carton from the fridge and set it near where he was working.
He studied her for a moment. “You know this is a new chapter in our relationship?”
Becoming somber, Jesse nodded. She reached up and brought down two plates from the cupboard. “I felt ready for it…for you…us.”
“What was different for you to take that step?” he wondered, adding salt, pepper and a pinch of cinnamon basil.
Shrugging, she said, “Seeing your father embrace you as his son.” She saw emotion come to his eyes and he swallowed a couple of times.
“I felt like I was dying on a desert when I came home from the military, Jesse. And my father, from the day I arrived, insisted I not call him Dad, which I always had when growing up, but call him Sam, instead. I felt gutted in that moment. I literally felt like he’d invisibly took a knife and cut me open, divorced me from him and our family.”
“No one’s ready for something like that,” she whispered, coming over, placing her hand on his shoulder. He took a whisk and beat the eggs in the bowl.
“No…I was so far away from that. After Kyle died, I’d seen him change even more. But I never knew how much until that morning he gave me my marching orders the first day home from combat.”
“I don’t know of any human who could suffer the loss of two of the most important people in their lives and not go through an awful time of pain and grief afterward. You were caught up in it through no fault of your own.”
“I got that. It took me a year to come to grips with the reality, and I eventually realized the domino effect it had on my father. To this day, I have to bite my tongue and not call him Dad. It damn near kills me, Jesse.”
“You need your dad back,” she said softly, her heart twisting in grief for Travis. Standing close, her hand around his waist, she said, “And I think that Blue is going to help you get your father back. I feel the angry man filled with pain, both physical and emotional, is gone for good. I know it will take some time to prove me out, but the changes in him the last month have been tremendously hopeful.”
“Why Blue?” he asked, adding the contents she’d cut up into the egg bowl.
“Did it strike you that Blue is your dad’s future? Did you see how that pup just adores Sam? And that Cyrus loves him, too? I know Cy will die probably within the next year or two. He’s fifteen. That’s very old for such a large dog.”
He stirred the mixture into a black iron skillet. “Blue does love Dad.”
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” She smiled up at him, seeing some of the old grief he’d carried for so long, beginning to dissolve.
“Making Blue a Christmas gift to Dad?”
She patted him on the back. “Yes.”
“Blue gets along with Cy. That’s important.”
“Cy could be like a doting grandfather to Blue, showing him the ropes of dog hood.”
Smiling a little, he folded the omelet in the skillet. “You’re good with words, Jesse.”
“What do you think about giving Blue to him on Christmas morning?”
“I think it’s a great idea. I just worry that Dad won’t take him.”
“I feel like he will,” Jesse soothed. “Every day he’s without the pain because of the hydrotherapy, he’s getting more sensitive to others, more aware. And I think he’s terribly lonely out there by himself. He’s finding that being here with us, thinking about coming back to the office to work a couple days of the week, appeals to him.”
“Well, ten days to go until Christmas,” he said, cutting the omelet in half and transferring it to each plate. “Do you have a plan?” He raised an eyebrow, grinning down at her.
“I always have plans, Ramsey. You can’t be in the military and not know the advantages of having a strategy laid out in front of you. Plus, having Plan B and C as backups if A fails. I’ve got this.”
Chuckling, he turned off the gas stove and then handed her one of the plates. “Tell me your plan.”
Over breakfast, Jesse shared her ideas with Travis. “I think we should keep inviting your dad over here for dinner. Have him bring Cy along. That way, he and Blue get to interact with one another more and more and become bosom buddies. That won’t be lost on Sam. Then, I think you should talk to him about how you can use his help at the office. That you have some ideas for ads and getting more tours locked in for the coming year, and that you need his help, suggestions and ideas, too. He needs to feel he’s a valuable person to your family business.”
“That way, Dad feels needed,” he agreed.
“That’s right. And who knows? If he continues to improve, he might want to do the day tour guides to your special fishing holes. That would do him a lot of good.”
“It would be the best of all worlds if he could get active again. I know he hates being hobbled. He’s always been a very physical, outdoorsy man.”
“I’m not going to tell him that I’m renting the caboose, Travis. I think it could distract Sam and we want him to focus on you, the business and getting Blue to become a part of his life.”
Giving her a look of praise, he said, “It’s a good plan, Jesse. We’ll do it.”
Rubbing her hands, she said, “Good!”
Finishing off his meal, he got up and brought over coffee for them. Sitting down at her elbow, he gave her a narrowed look. “We need to talk about something even more important,” he told her.
“Us?” she guessed, sipping her coffee.
“Yes. Where does last night leave us, Jesse? How do you want to work this into our budding relationship? Or do you?”
“Like you said, we’ve opened a new chapter with one another. And I’m okay with it, Travis. For whatever reason, the last couple of weeks I’ve just felt more together and stronger. I’m sure you have a lot to do with that. You’ve been stabilizing my life since I came to Hamilton, and I’m so grateful.”
“You’re almost at that six-month point after leaving the service where all the confusion and mess have started to lessen. I saw a lot of my buddies, when they got out, hit that six-month point and they were like you: more clear-headed, having goals and a job that was helping to bring badly needed money into their life.”
“With us, it became more than that,” she murmured. “You’ve fed me in so many ways, especially emotionally. You’ve been there like a cornerstone to my new life.” She reached out, slipping her fingers into his, holding his intense gaze. “I’m falling in love with you, Travis. I almost said it last night, but I was too scared to admit it. When I woke up this morning, I made a promise to myself to tell you how I felt today.” She felt his fingers tighten around hers.
“This last month,” he began, his voice gruff, “I knew I was falling in love with you. Only, I didn’t know if it was one sided or not. It wasn’t until the last two weeks that I realized you wanted me as much as I wanted you. That kiss you shared with me in the caboose did it.” He gave her an uneven grin. “And if you want to continue to live out in the caboose, I’m fine with that. I just hope you know that you always have an invitation to share my cabin and bed.”
“This is a new chapter, Travis. If it’s okay with you, I’ll stay here. I think we need to find out what we have. I’ll take care of the caboose, but I won’t be sleeping there.” She saw relief come to his eyes.
“I’d like that, Jesse. And if there’s a time you don’t want to sleep with me for whatever reason, there’s always the guest bedroom. I’m not going to demand anything of you. Everything has its time and place. My mother taught me as a child about the value of patience.” He gave her a tender look. “I want nothing more from you than what you freely want to share with me.”
*
December 24
The fire snapped and crackled, lending to a cozy Christmas Eve. Jesse sat with Travis, finishing their pumpkin bread topped off with a dollop of whipped cream. At their feet was Freya and Blue. The pup had been completely weaned off her milk and was now putting on some muscle mass and weight from his twice-a-day feedings. Freya was regaining lost weight, too, from feeding five pups for six weeks. Her black fur was thick for the freezing Montana winter. Her white blaze on her face and the white ruff down the front of her chest gleamed with good health.
“It’s tough not giving them a bit of the pumpkin bread,” Travis mumbled, trying to ignore the pleading look in Blue’s huge, sparkling eyes so full of life in their depths.
Laughing softly, Jesse nodded. “I think Blue picked up that begging look from his mom. Look at her!” She pointed her fork in Freya’s direction.
Grinning, he said, “She’s a pro at this. She must have gotten her owner to feed her tidbits because she’s way too good at it.”
“I’ve got two small Milk Bones stashed away in my pocket,” she told him, meeting his amused gaze. “It’s enough to reward them but not enough to make them gain weight or start eating human food.”
Travis set his empty dessert plate on the coffee table. “That was good,” he said. Leaning back, he slid his arm around Jesse’s shoulders. “I keep thinking I’m in some kind of dream,” he confided, catching her glance as she popped the last piece of the bread into her mouth. “These past ten days have been nonstop heaven. Has it been for you?”
She nodded and set her plate on top of his, feeding the dogs their Milk Bone treat. Then, snuggled back beneath his arm, resting her head on his shoulder, holding his warmth-filled gaze. “Ever since we made love, I’ve had fewer and less intense symptoms. That amazes me.”
He sobered. “It doesn’t happen like that for most.”
“Maybe because we’re getting deep, uninterrupted sleep after we’ve loved one another?”
“I’m sleeping a lot better,” he admitted, moving his fingers lightly across her forearm covered with a dark green knit sweater. It had been a Christmas gift from Katie for Jesse, who knitted it when she had time. He’d tried to get her to buy some more winter clothes, but she’d resisted, wanting instead to save her money.
She sighed and kissed his jaw. “And even your dad is continuing to improve. Dr. Brannon gave him a rave examination yesterday. Sam is glowing from his progress. Who could ever think that hydrotherapy would have that powerful and positive of an effect on his joints?”
“It’s a miracle, no question.” His voice lowered. “And you’re my miracle, Jesse. You need to know how much more hope I have. I wake up every morning grateful for you in my bed and in my arms. I’ve never laughed as much as I have as when you walked into my life.”
She made a mewing sound of comfort and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, giving him a long hug topped off with a long kiss. Easing back, her lips tingling and wanting to love this man right now, Jesse stilled her desire for the moment. Their talks had been long and deep. It was refreshing to hear what was on his mind, what he thought and how she made him feel. All of their intimacy on every level the last ten days had done nothing but deepen her love for Travis.
“I’ll be back in a minute. Freya and I have been practicing something that involves you.”
She sat up, curious. “You and Freya?”
Easing to his feet, he gestured for the dog to follow him. “Yes. We’ll be back in a minute. Stay where you are?”
She smiled and curled her legs beneath her. “I won’t move,” she promised, watching Freya bound after Travis. Blue gave a yip, scrambling to catch up to his leggy mother. Leaning back, she enjoyed the Christmas tree in the corner. There was a newfound sense of peace overcoming her life and she welcomed it. Never had she thought that she’d come to Hamilton and fall in love with a dog and her puppies, and then the man who welcomed all of them into his home and life.
She heard a yip and saw Blue burst out of the hallway, galloping toward her. Next came Freya. Jesse laughed and sat up. The dog had a twine handle attached to a small red sack that had silver tinsel swinging around the middle of it. Travis was last, his smile widening as he urged Freya toward her.
Freya came and sat down in front of her, thumping her tail, her blue eyes alight with mischief and merriment.
“Go ahead,” Travis urged, “take the sack from her.”
Gently, she eased the red twine handle from Freya’s mouth. She cocked her head, tail thumping madly.
“Wow, did you train her to do this?” Jesse held the sack in her lap as Travis sat down next to her. He leaned forward, roughing up Freya’s fur, lavishly praising her.
“I did. She’s so smart that it didn’t take long. But the problem was Blue,” he chuckled. “The pup thought it was a play toy in his mother’s mouth and would leap and grab it, pulling it apart.”
Petting Freya and then Blue, who was wagging his stubby tail, she said, “And how long did the training go on?”
“Oh, about two weeks.”
She smiled and looked down into the sack. It was filled with red and green paper. “Pretty neat trick,” she congratulated him. “I thought everyone opened their presents on Christmas morning?”
“Nah, I always believed Christmas gifts should be handed out all year long.” He motioned toward the sack. “Go ahead, dig around in it. See what you find.”
Excited, she pulled out the crepe paper, finding a small silver box within it. “What is this?” she demanded, looking at it, giving him a wary look.
“Something hopeful,” he said, his voice low, his gaze locking with hers. “Go ahead, open it, Jesse.”
“Okay,” she said, easing her fingernail beneath the gold latch and opening it. Her lips parted. There, on a gray velvet cushion was a ring with red and green stones in a silver setting. “What is this?” she asked, breathless, her eyes widening, her voice growing hoarse. She saw a bashful look cross his expression.
“It’s called a friendship ring, Jesse. I know we’ve only had two months together, but I wanted to get you something special, from my heart to yours. The jeweler in Missoula said that a lot of couples who were living together often used a friendship ring as a sign that they’re going together. I thought…I mean, I hope, that you’ll take it in the spirit it was meant from me to you.” He took the case from her and eased the ring out of it, taking her right hand and slipping it on her finger. “It fits,” he murmured, relieved. Holding her hand, he said, “The red stone is pyrope garnet. The green one is tourmaline. The setting is platinum.” Nervously, he held her hand. “Do you like it, Jesse?”
“It’s lovely,” she choked, moving the round, faceted stones, watching the light refract through them. “So beautiful.” She reached out, caressing his jaw. “Thank you. This is perfect.”
“So? You’re okay with it?”
“I am. I know two months isn’t a long time but I feel comfortable being with you, living here and doing my daily work on myself.”
“You really like it? The colors of the gemstones?”
She knew enough about gemstones because her father was a rock hound. The quality of the translucent blood-red garnet was of the highest quality. She wasn’t going to ask how much he spent, but knew it was enough. “I really like it, Travis. Thank you. This is so unexpected. Such an incredible surprise.”
“I didn’t want to give it to you in front of my dad. He’s old fashioned, a Baby Boomer, and he thinks men and women shouldn’t be living together without being married first.”
“I understand. My parents are uncomfortable about it, too.”
“Are you? We’ve never talked about this before.”
“I’m fine with it. What do you think your dad will say when he sees it on my hand?”
“That it’s a friendship ring, which is the truth. That we are good friends and it’s a Christmas gift for you.”
“Do you think he knows we’re living together?”
Snorting, Travis said, “Hamilton is a small town and gossip is faster than a lightning bolt across the sky. I’m pretty sure he knows. I’m hoping he won’t say anything about it. So far, he hasn’t. And so far, no one has told him that you’ve rented out the caboose.” He crossed his fingers.
“I think he’s okay with us being together,” Jesse said, giving him a tender look. “I feel he’s trying hard to fit in, not stand out and be rebellious like he was in his younger life.”
“He asked me the other day what my intentions toward you were,” he admitted. “We were working on an ad for the business, to draw in new clients, when he asked me that out of the blue.”
Blue whined, hearing his named called, sitting between their feet, panting and wagging his tiny tail.
Laughing, Jesse picked him up and plopped him onto Travis’s lap. He really did like being with the men of the Ramsey family. “Uh oh, then I’m sure the gossip’s reached him.”
Grimacing, he said, “Right. I told him that we were drawn to one another in every way.”
“What did he say?”
“Nothing.”
“How do you interpret that?” she wondered.
“My dad isn’t one to mince words when he’s got something on his mind.” We went back to work and it wasn’t brought up again. I did tell him that I had bought you a special gift for Christmas that would let the world know we were serious about one another.”
She held up her hand with the ring on it. “That’s good. At least when he sees it, he’ll understand.”
“That’s what I’m hoping. I always live in fear he’ll start blowing up again and getting angry at me or you.”
“But he hasn’t.”
“No, but I had three years of it, Jesse, and I’m gun shy. I want so damned badly to believe that the hydrotherapy is the reason why. That and not suffering in pain all the time. I’m afraid he’ll slip back into that dark area.”
Reaching out, she touched his shoulder. “I want to kiss you.” She leaned upward, cognizant of Blue between them.
Whispering her name, he slid his hand around her neck, guiding her mouth to his. Blue whined and started getting excited, leaping up on his chest. He probably thought that they were playing with one another. Taking her mouth, he slid his lips along hers, feeling her softness and quiet strength. That small sound in the back of her throat told him she was enjoying the kiss as much as he was.
Breaking away from him, Jesse smiled and said, “Blue wants to play…”
With a chuckle, Travis roughed up the pup’s furry head. “I want to play too. Maybe later?” He gave her a teasing look that she returned, the silent promise mirrored in her eyes.
“We have to get some sleep tonight,” she told him, setting Blue down on the floor. He scampered off to where his mother was laying and chewing on the rubber ball that she loved chasing when outdoors.
Travis stood and slid his arm around her waist. “We’ll get some sleep.”
“Sure. I wonder just how much that means?” she asked, giving him a wicked look.