I held true to my promise of not letting Luke play in his game last night while Ady and I spent the night at the hospital and I had an angry, yet, an apologetic phone call from his coach. Seems I was right, and they hadn’t been protecting Luke during practice the way they should have been.

I admit to being relieved about that because even though I would have had him transferred, I have a feeling Adilynn would have been pissed at me for a while.

We talked quietly about what happened. What she remembered and how she felt as her hands freely explored my body, I enjoyed her movements and curiosity too much to interrupt what she was doing. Learning it was Eric Rhodes–the same man who was so aloof about his horse possibly injuring her–set my anger to a high fuse.

After the Sheriff left her hospital room this morning, taking her statement and asking a million and one questions she was quiet again. Not wanting to talk, I let her be until we were on the road home.

Now though, I’d like to talk again. But not in the truck when she might feel trapped. Even if it is a good idea. She won’t be able to run away when I tell her she’s moving in, that we’ll do what she wants with her farm, but she’s not going back.

“Brantley?” She asks quietly from her seat beside me. Her hair down and messy around her face with my baggy shirt and sweats for clothes, she looks elfish. Tinier then her normal self.

“Yeah, Ady?”

“Do you want kids?” Surprised, I look at her, but her gaze is watching as nature passes us by.

“Yes.” I don’t want to elaborate yet.

“What if they aren’t yours?” There’s something in her tone, and I think she means Luke.

“Like another mans, or adopted?” I need her to look at me.

“Both?” Luke would be both of those.

I have to think on how best to phrase my answer, so I don’t sound like I’m saying no. “If it was with a woman I loved, and she had a previous child, yes. Is that what you mean?”

“Luke, Brantley. Could you love him like your own?”

That’s an easy fucking answer. “I already do, Adilynn.”

Her head rolls on the seat to look at me then. Tears slide silently down her face as she beams up at me. “I really need you to,” she whispers, “I need to know that I’m not screwing his life up by falling in love with you.”

Falling in love with you.

It’s all I hear.

Stopping the truck at the gates of the Running M, I put it in park and pull her over to me. Settling her on my lap, I kiss her until we can’t breathe. I kiss her until we have to pull away or suffocate.

“Say it again,” I demand with the taste of her on my lips.

“I’m falling in love with you Brantley.” She looks away like she’s afraid of my answer.

“I’m a whole lot of in love with you flicka.” Stars dance in her eyes as they shine bright with more tears.

She kisses me this time. I run my hands under her shirt and up her back, pulling her tighter into my chest as I take over the kiss. Shivers run through her as our tongues tangle. Little moans leave us both as we enjoy the feel of this small intimacy.

“I want you, Ady,”–she goes to speak–“I want my ring on your finger,”–her mouth opens again–“I want my baby in your belly, –she jerks back–“I want us, you, me and Luke to be a family.” I give her a second to take it all in. “Tell me you want that too Adilynn.”

“I do, I swear I do Brantley. I don’t know if I know how to do that yet though.”

“That’s okay baby, I’ll show you how.” She melts in my arms again as I kiss her thoroughly, not leaving any small crevice in her mouth untouched.

* * *

Sex.

Marriage.

Babies.

Family.

I don’t know if I know how to be ready for any of it. Each thing is more terrifying than the last, and I’m afraid to screw it up. Doesn’t he know how hard it was to admit I’m falling in love with him?

I couldn’t even say that I already do love him.

I don’t know how to do that, let alone how to be loved, how am I supposed to do the rest?

One day at a time Ady. I’ve been telling myself that for years. Yet each day brought me here. Homeless. Victimized. Alone, but surrounded by people.

How do I do this?

“Frown much more and you’ll have permanent lines.” Pops–he won’t tell me his actual name–says as he joins me on Brantley’s front porch. I like the older man, but I don’t need or want his sarcasm right now.

Rubbing the wrinkles, he speaks of, I groan. “I already have them.”

“Not quite yet. You’re too young to be so serious. Tell me what’s going on?” It’s tempting, really it is, but I can’t voice my fears to him. “What you say, it stays between us Adilynn.” It’s like he read my mind.

“Honestly?” I look over at him, his weathered face oddly comforting in the mid-morning air. “Brantley wants things I’m terrified of.”

“He’s a family man.” He confirms what I already knew.

“He is,” I nod and look out to were Thunder is watching us in his paddock. “I am too, you know.”

“I figured as much, Luke and all. He’s a good kid.” I smile at that because he really is. This morning he was up with the rest of the hands, and he’s out with Blaine in the fields checking the fence lines now.

“And I want my own family too.” I stop to chew on my bottom lip, try and work out my anxiety. “I want it with him.”

“You’d make beautiful babies together.” Pops grins at me.

I can’t really argue with him. Any child to come from their gene pool would be gorgeous. “I’m terrified of becoming my mother.” I finally confess. Ashamed of my biggest fear.

Pops doesn’t say anything, not at first. He reaches over and grips my hand in both of his. Offering comfort when I need a kick in the ass. “If there is one thing I know young miss, it’s that while we are our parent’s children, we are not them. We are not bound by some mysterious law to become them and make their mistakes.” He pats my hand as he speaks. “Will you make them? Every day. But you’ll learn, and you’ll never stop learning. Each day will be a new adventure, and you’ll find you are you, Adilynn. Not her.”

“Did you know her?” I find myself asking, terrified of the answer.

“A long time ago, I did. Her parents weren’t always good people. I don’t know where and when she went astray, but she did, and you my dear, are living with her bad decisions. Decisions that have nothing to do with how you’re raising that brother of yours, or how you’ll raise your own.”

“It’s a struggle you know. Knowing if I’m doing right by him. I made her sign him away to me. I pushed her out the door, and now I’ll always wonder if he’ll resent me for it.” God, I hope he doesn’t. “Luke has been my life for so long that I don’t know how to do anything for me.”

“Let me guide you.” Shocked we both spin around to see Brantley standing in the doorway. He looks so handsome in his checkered shirt, jeans that encase his strong thighs and matching cowboy boots and hat.

Standing, I stutter out, “Ho–how long have you been there?”

“Long enough.” I cringe because I can’t read him.

“I’m going to go find me some coffee.” Pops pats my shoulder as he stands and leaves us alone.

Panicked, I start stumbling over my words. “I didn’t…I don’t…I mean…I’m sorry.”

Pulling me into his arms, his doesn’t say anything. He just holds me. Cradles me to his chest until I’m calm again. “I heard everything.” Brantley finally whispers into my hair. “We’ll go as slow or as fast as you want. There’s no contingency to my love or want for you, Ady. I’ve waited years for you, trust me when I say now that I’ve got you, I’ll wait as long as you need for anything you want.” Could he be more perfect?

“Thank you.” I let out a relieved sigh into his chest.

* * *

“Well kid, what’d you think?” Blaine asks me as we ride back to the ranch. Checking the fence line was pretty cool, he showed me the lay of the land. Where Brantley’s ranch ends, and another begins on the west side of the property.

“It was cool.” I’m still not sure how to take any of this. Blaine and Brantley keep talking like the horse I’m riding now–Shiloh–is mine. Being here on the ranch feels good. I feel like the stars are aligning for Ady and me. I know she’s always trying to make my life better, but I can’t remember that last time she’s done anything for herself, and I know Brantley could be the person for her. To love her, take care of her. Even if that means he takes some of her attention away from me, I’ll take it. I want my sister happy.

“Why so quiet kid?” The barn is in view as we trot along the pastures.

“I want Ady happy. I want her to have the things she would have had if she weren’t always taking care of me.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“Do you think Brantley will accept me too? Cause she’ll leave if he doesn’t, even when I tell her she has to stay. She needs this life.”

“Funny thing about love kid, even when we aren’t looking for it, it’s there. Like a smack to the face, it’s in plain sight. Don’t doubt for a second that Brant doesn’t love you both.”

“Except, I do,” I tell him honestly. “I haven’t had anyone but Ady love me, and I don’t know if anyone else can when my own mother didn’t.”

“Shit, kid.” I see him wince at my words, or maybe his own.

We’re quiet again until we’re in the barn and unsaddling the horses. I’m brushing down Shiloh when Blaine breaks the silence. “I’ve known Brant pretty much my entire life, you know. He’s always been this stand-up guy. Does the right thing, votes, gets his taxes done on time. Not once have I seen him shirk responsibility of anything. And I’m not saying he’s done that now–more like his priorities have shifted, and I like this change in him, kid. He smiles more, laughs with feeling.”

“Okay.” I’m not sure I’m following him, but I listen.

“What I guess I’m trying to say is, you and Ady do that for him.”

“But mostly Ady,” I smirk because I see the way he watches her. I’m twelve, not dumb.

Blaine shakes his head, laughing, “Yeah, a lot of it is Ady. But it’s you too Luke. You give him purpose too. You’re like icing on the cake.”

I can live with that.