Chapter Two
When Ghost pulled out his phone and saw the name on the display, he immediately shoved the device back into his pocket. “Nah, I’ll get it later.” And then he realized how shad y that sounded.
“Who is it?” Macy asked as he straightened in the seat, allowing her to sit up and tug her clothing back into place.
It was Gus, his former bandmate, no doubt wanting to add his voice to Mark’s in begging him back to the group. He couldn’t not answer her, even if he wasn’t quite ready to explain the situation. “It’s Gus.”
She turned incredulous eyes on him as she zipped her jacket and he zipped up his jeans. “The drug addict?”
Jesus, leave it to her to cut to the heart of the matter. “Yeah.”
“I didn’t know you talked to those guys anymore.”
“I don’t, usually.” Except for one night several months back, when he was assisting Macy’s ex in the hunt for the drugged-out asshole who’d attacked Brian, Ghost hadn’t spoken to Gus since he quit In the Slaughter. But he’d needed him that night, because Gus knew all the drugged-out assholes and which rocks to overturn to find them.
“I wonder what he could want,” she mused.
Sighing, Ghost turned his attention out the window. The rain was a soft, lazy patter now, the kind that made you want to slip under the sheets and doze until it was over. Despite that desire, he felt jittery, disconsolate. He bounced one knee and felt Macy’s gaze on him. Finally, he turned to meet it, figuring there was no time like the present.
“I’ve sort of been invited back for a gig.”
“Oh, Seth…” Trailing off, she let her head meet the back of the seat. “You aren’t considering it, are you?”
“Funny part about it is…yeah, I am.”
“I don’t like it.”
“I didn’t think you would.”
“You know that, but you’re still considering it?”
“I thought you would at least hear my case before you rendered a verdict.”
She shrugged, suddenly seeming very interested in picking at a fingernail. “Okay. Begin.”
“Now? You haven’t given me time to build my argument.”
Giggling, she reached over and put her hand on his, her slender fingers giving his a squeeze. “When would it be?”
“He said three weeks from now.”
“Where?”
“Austin. Same place you came to that night…you know.” He scratched his head with his free hand, cringing inwardly.
“Oh, Jesus! This keeps getting worse. Would she be around? She moved back there, didn’t she?”
“Honestly, babe, I don’t know where Raina is. Out of my life, that’s for damn sure. But whether or not she’s still in Austin, or wherever the fuck she went…I have no clue. Don’t wanna know, don’t care.”
“I know that, but I can damn well guarantee you she cares where you are.”
“I think you scared her off me.”
“And I think seeing you again would set it all back in motion. It’s too risky.”
Maybe she was right. Still, it grated to think of missing an opportunity he wanted because of an unrelenting ex he didn’t give a shit about. “It’s done. She would know right away she doesn’t have a shot. I really don’t think there’s anything to worry about, Mace.”
“You know what she did…what she almost made you do.” He wasn’t likely to forget. He’d been drunk off his ass, missing Macy so bad it was a physical pain in his chest, and Raina had tried to seduce him in a back office of the venue when he was only semiconscious. Macy had walked in at a very inopportune moment. Ghost still wanted to unzip his own skin and shed it whenever he thought of her seeing him like that.
They sat silently for a moment, lost in ugly memories. Finally Macy said, “It would drive me crazy sitting here worried about you.”
“Hey, wait a minute,” he cut in. “You would come, too.”
She looked at him in surprise. “I would, huh?”
“Hell yes, you would. You never got to see me perform before I quit.”
“Don’t do this on my account.” She nudged his arm. “You serenade me all the time; that’s all I need.”
“Come on, babe,” he goaded, “don’t you want to see me in action?”
Grasping his chin, she made him look her in the eyes. “That action I just got? That’s the only action I care about.”
“I think you’d get a kick out of it. We could invite Brian and Candace, see if they could get a sitter for the night. It would be fun. Plus,” he added, reaching up to take her hand and pull it to his lips. “There’s that little matter we need to work on. Come with me and we’ll work on it day and night. All weekend. On the trip there, on the trip back, and every spare minute in between.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you seriously bribing me with baby-making sex?”
“Bribing you? No. I’m negotiating .”
Suddenly, though, she pulled away, severing all contact with him, and simply faced forward with a frown. “I’m just really confused as to why you seem to want to do this so much. I thought you’d left all that behind. Happily . So please understand why I’m taken aback.”
“I do understand. I was taken aback, too. My first impulse was to tell Mark to stick it when he called and asked. But…I couldn’t say the words. I did love it, you know. I loved playing, I loved the music. It’s the people I had a problem with, but I figure, dealing with them for a few weeks is a small price to pay to do something I love again.”
“Will one gig lead to two, and then three, and then suddenly you’re back in for good?”
He shook his head. “Nah.”
“Is it possible?”
“I guess any fucking thing is possible. But it isn’t likely, and I’m not counting on it.”
“I don’t like it,” she said firmly, repeating her earlier verdict. “I saw some of the things that were going on in that place when I was there.”
“Just because you saw things going on doesn’t mean I’ll be doing them. I’m not gonna fuck up what we have, baby. I was on the road to Fuckupsville for the entirety of my life. Now I’m off, and I like the scenery over here much better.”
“Then…why do you need to go back there? Even for a night?”
He really didn’t have an answer for that. So he kept his mouth shut, because his mouth had the ability to get him into trouble he wasn’t looking for.
“Is this because you’re feeling trapped?” she asked.
“What?”
“We’ve barely been married six months, and you want to go back to things you left when we first started seeing each other. It’s freaking me out, I’m sorry. Like maybe you think you made a mistake or—”
“I promise you, that is not it. I have no motives other than wanting to play. I’m pretty sure they have none other than needing a replacement on short notice. That’s it. Okay?”
Now it was her turn to fall silent for a while, long enough for the gentle pattering of the rain to become occasional plops. Finally, about to leap out of his skin with frustration, he said, “So…not okay?”
She still didn’t look at him. Her voice was sad, and that killed him. “It’s up to you. But I’m not going.”
“If it upsets you that much, forget it. I won’t do it.”
“No, no. You go do it. I’m not going to tell you that you can’t. I don’t think I can be there to see it, though. I’m sorry.”
“I want you there, baby.”
The way she looked at him then, so direct, so final, dashed his hopes to pieces. What was the point, really, if she wouldn’t be there to see it? He wanted her by his side in all things. It was why he’d married her. But she shook her head. “I can’t.”
…
Seth usually wasn’t one to sulk or give her the silent treatment when she pissed him off. He liked to fight it out, yell if they needed to—and end the argument with hot make-up sex that left them both too exhausted to think about it anymore.
But he was troubl ingly quiet for the rest of the day, even later while he was grilling burgers and they each drank a beer on the back patio, listening to the kids next door play in their backyard swimming pool. They couldn’t see the kids for the privacy fence, but it sounded like they were having a blast. Macy twirled and untwirled a piece of hair around her finger and focused on their splashing and laughter, imagining a day when she might hear it from her own backyard.
“We need to move,” he grumbled as he sat in the chair next to her, then took a hefty pull on his beer bottle.
She turned a frown on him. “What? Why?”
“Neighbors on all fucking sides.” He flipped the aviator sunglass from the top of his head to his eyes, shielding them from her. And it wasn’t even bright out, but heavily overcast from the recent rain, with twilight creeping in.
“They’re just kids having fun,” she protested.
“It’s not even about the kids, really, more about their asshole parents.”
“But…” Macy was momentarily at a loss. “You grew up here.”
“So?”
“It’s the first time you’ve ever mentioned moving, that’s all. I had no idea you were even considering it.” First the car, then the band, now this… What other things did he have going on in his head that she had no clue about?
“If I had my way,” he said, “we’d live in the middle of nowhere, with at least a mile between us and the next house, where I wouldn’t have someone up my ass when I’m mowing the fucking lawn or working on the car or whatever else. Somewhere I could play my music or rev my engine as loud as I wanted without getting the side-eye from the jerkoff across the street.”
“Why are you so hostile right now?”
He looked at her, but with those damn sunglasses in place, she couldn’t tell a thing about his expression. “Am I hostile?”
“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”
“No.”
“You’re mad in general.”
He scoffed and took another drink of beer. Macy seized the opportunity to do the same; she felt she needed it if she was really about to say the words crowding for release behind her lips.
“If you’re going to act like a baby for the rest of the night because we had one disagreement—”
Grumbling something unintelligible, he jumped up with the spatula in hand to flip the burgers.
“Don’t walk away from me.”
He didn’t reply. She was left staring at his back while smoke rose around him and a delicious sizzle sounded from the grill. He did make some damn good burgers. Her stomach grumbled at the scent.
“Seth…”
“Macy.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just not comfortable with the whole band thing. You know that’s…not my scene.”
He turned around then, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head and hitting her with the full force of his dark eyes’ devastating intensity. “As if your rodeo shit is my scene.”
Macy opened her mouth, then promptly clamped it shut. He’d been waiting for that, hadn’t he? She wondered, briefly, if it was okay to momentarily hate your husband. Just for a second. He arched one eyebrow, awaiting her reply.
There was none she could make. None whatsoever.
But…but…but…rejoining your band might put you in the vicinity of your ex.
Her “rodeo shit” put her in the vicinity of hers. Jared had never been as possessive as Raina in his endeavors to get Macy back, but yeah, once upon a time he’d damn near broken her and Seth up. He was happily engaged to Seth’s coworker Starla now, though, something that greatly relieved Macy. Jared was a good guy and deserved someone who loved him the same way he was capable of loving. Macy had never been that person, but Starla was.
Still, whenever they all happened to show up at the same place, it was a bit awkward, even though Seth had admitted he’d come around and actually liked Jared. A little, he’d quickly amended, but Macy wasn’t fooled. That “little” was miraculous in itself.
When she continued to look at him, he went on. “I’m always there for you with that stuff. Always. No, I don’t like it. But I don’t let on to you how much I don’t like it. I go anyway, and cheer you on, and deal with everyone looking at me like ‘What the fuck is that guy doing here,’ and I’ve never complained, not one time, at least not until now. Have I?”
“No,” she admitted. “Not that I can recall.”
“Thing is, I wouldn’t have complained now. I would have kept going for you, whenever and wherever you want, because that’s your thing and I love you and support you in it.”
“You don’t have to go.”
“I do it for you.”
“But…”
“Macy.” He leveled her with a long look. She met it for as long as her resolve would allow, then finally threw her hands in the air.
“All right! Fine. You do it, and I’ll go with you. But don’t mind me if I sulk for the rest of the night like you have all day.”
He grinned. “Deal.”
She stuck her bottom lip out at him in a grossly exaggerated pout.
“You’d better put that back in before I bite it.” Ignoring the comment, she sat back and crossed one leg over the other. He went on. “Look, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll go practice with them a couple of times. Could be we’ll sound like shit, or someone will piss me off, or it just won’t work out. At that point, I’m gone. So whether or not you should go will be a moot point.”
That sounded reasonable, she supposed, only she knew better than to get her hopes up. “All right. Two practices,” she relented. “If you get even a hint of a bad feeling about it all, you have to back out, Seth. Promise me.”
He shrugged, then grinned like the cat who’d had the cream. “I promise, baby. Easy.”
Sighing, Macy decided to let it go for now. There was only one full day a week she got to spend with him, and she’d be damned if she would spend the rest of it letting this eat at her.