Eight weeks later.
“Mum,” I shout down the stairs, “has anything come for me in the last few days?” When she doesn’t hear me, I run down to her. “Mum?” She turns to look at me from the kitchen. “I said, has anything come for me in the last few days?”
“Not what I’ve seen, no.”
“That’s strange. I haven’t received anything from Elliott in weeks.”
Slumping into the chair, I rest my head on my folded arms on the kitchen table.
“Cassidy get up. Your hair is all over the table, it’s not very hygienic at all is it?”
“Who cares!” I grumble. I just want a letter or something from Elliott, anything just so I know he’s still missing me like I’m missing him.
“Do you think he’s forgotten me?”
“Who?” She sighs making me frown.
“What do you mean, who? Elliott! You know my boyfriend.”
“Oh, Cassidy. when are you going to stop your stupid moping around? You’re young there’s plenty of other fish in the sea.”
“I don’t want anyone else, I want him.”
Secretly I wipe the tears that are slowly trickling from my eyes and down my cheeks before she sees. Pushing the chair out I rise from it and quietly walk from the room but not before she sees me.
“Where are you going now?!”
“Back to my room.”
“It’s not healthy you know spending all your time up there….”
I shrug. “Probably not.” I cut her off, “but I prefer my own company.”
Without giving her a chance to say anything else I head back upstairs to wallow in my own self-pity, at least up there no one can moan at me.
The test sits in my hand, an inanimate object, but right now, I want to throw it, stamp on it. Call it a liar because it can’t be right. I haven’t been sick, no it’s wrong. I can't be.
Two lines.
Positive.
How is that right? It can’t be right.
I can’t be pregnant.
I need Elliott.
I hold the test in both of my hands and hold it against my chest, tears freefalling from my eyes and I can’t stop them. What am I going to do?
How am I going to tell Elliott? How do I tell my Mum? Oh god, this is all so wrong. I can’t tell him over the phone.
I need him to come back…. please come back, Elliott.
The next few days go by the same way. I get up, I eat breakfast, I sleep, and the routine starts all over again except that I’m a lot more tired these days.
“Right then, get up and out of that bed!” Mum barges in shouting and tears open the curtains, the sun blazing through the window, shining right into my eyes, blinding me. Pulling the duvet back up I cover my face with it, that doesn’t last long though before she’s tugging it off me again.
“Get up! You’re not staying in bed anymore!”
Pulling the pillow from under my head, I roll over and place it over my face.
“I don’t want to. You can’t make me.”
“I’m your mother, yes I can. Now I’m going downstairs I expect you down in five minutes.”
Huffing I sit myself up and rub my face, swing my feet around and slip my feet into my animal slippers and pad downstairs. Mum looks up as I walk down the hallway and into the kitchen.
“Here, I’ve made you toast and there’s orange juice for you.”
“Thanks, but I didn’t want anything.”
“Cassidy, you’re pale, you have dark circles around your eyes and all you do is sleep and you don’t even eat. Well, no more. Now eat.”
“Bossy cow,” I whisper under my breath as she walks away.
“I heard that!”
My face pulls into a scowl at her behind her back. I push away the toast, my stomach is feeling queasy, so I drink the orange juice instead. Once that’s gone, I try to make the effort to eat, but I don’t eat much maybe one half. When I’ve had enough I throw it in the bin and put the glass and plate in the sink then head upstairs for a shower.
I still haven’t told her why I feel ill and why I’m so tired either, I know the time is coming that I’m going to have to, but how? I know she’s going to go berserk.
Why isn’t Elliott here?
“Cassidy. Carson’s here.” Oh, great I can’t put him off anymore I’ve ignored him every time he’s come around this week. Leaning over the bannister upstairs I shout back down.
“What does he want?”
I shouldn't be ignoring him like this, he's the only friend I have right now.
“Come down and see. Dear me Cassidy you’re so ignorant. You’re seventeen for goodness sake, you should have lots of friends.”
“I don’t want lots of friends. I’ve never been one of those girls that needs lots of friends. My others went away, remember.”
Making my way down the stairs I see Carson standing just inside the porch. Walking past my mother, I don’t say anything else to her before opening the door.
“Hey.” I force a smile on my face and tell him to come in. Shutting the door behind him I tell him to follow me into the living room.
“What’s up?”
“I wondered if you wanted to do something?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, maybe head down to the beach or something?” He shrugs.
“I don’t really feel up to the beach…” I tell him screwing up my nose, I don’t want to tell him that the only person I want to go to the beach with is Elliott.
“Erm, have you heard off Elliott by any chance?”
Shaking his head in a no, I sigh.
Why has no one heard from him?
“You know Cass, you have to be prepared that he may not come back...”
“He’s your friend too and he will come back, you'll see. He promised.” I answer sharply.
Why does everyone think he won’t - do they know something I don’t?
“Cassidy, please go out get some fresh air down your lungs, you may feel better…” My mother cuts in.
“Why are you ill?” Carson asks, a crease lining his forehead.
“No. I’m not. I’m just tired that’s all. God, why does everyone keep moaning at me?”
My head drops back to my shoulders as I huff loudly but give in any way.
“Fine! Let’s go. Anything so I’m out of here!” Slipping into my pumps, I walk out of the door. Carson follows behind me as he says bye to my Mother and I wait for him by the car.
Carson sidles up to me and wraps an arm around my shoulder and hugs me.
“You’ll hear from him soon I’m sure of it.”
“Thanks. She just doesn’t understand.”
“Come on let’s get you away for a bit.”
I smile as he opens my door for me from inside. Sitting down I put on my seatbelt and wait for him to start the car.