Chapter Twelve
Praying for the End of Time
Rowan
I tried to act normal during breakfast, but all I could think about was what had just happened upstairs in Nash’s bedroom. God, the man could kiss. My heart was thumping ninety to nothing and I could practically feel the heat pouring from my flushed face. If Maeve noticed my discomfort, she didn’t comment. Nash sat there shoveling food into his mouth with a knowing smirk on his face, the ass, while I focused on my food and tried to calm my raging hormones.
By the time I made it downstairs this morning, Maeve was already awake. Her eyes were bright and she was acting as ornery as ever, which told me that the morphine drip had been a good call. Her announcement that she was making breakfast both surprised and pleased me. These past weeks had been trying. Depressed Maeve was not an easy thing to deal with. I much preferred snarky, funny Maeve, and was beyond thrilled to see her return.
Once breakfast was ready, Maeve asked me to go upstairs and wake Nash. I thought nothing of her request, until I reached the top of the stairs and realized that waking Nash meant I had to enter his bedroom. What if he slept with no clothes on? My breath hitched as I pictured him lying there with his man bits on display. I thought about banging on his door, but quickly dismissed it. That would be rude. Finally, I just bit the bullet and barged into his room. He was on his back with his pillow covering most of his face. Who knows how long I stood there staring at his naked chest like a creeper, before finally waking him. When he pulled me into his arms, I nearly overdosed on lust. His beard was softer than I’d expected, and his lips…could they have been any more perfect? I could have stayed there all day kissing him. I didn’t get to see his man bits, but I sure felt them, especially when he rubbed it against me. After last night, I expected him to be distant. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“You’re lookin good this morning, little mama,” Nash told Maeve. He took a bite of bacon and winked at her.
Maeve’s lip twitched with humor. “You always were a good liar.” Her dry tone seemed so…normal. Their sarcastic back-and-forth banter felt like old times, and I welcomed it. “Since I have you home,” Maeve directed at Nash, “and you’re both here,” she aimed at me, “I’d like to go through some of my things today.” Nash shot her a skeptical look.
“What things?” he asked over a mouthful of bacon.
“Well, let’s see. I have fifty-five years of accumulated crap. Some you may want to keep, and some you may not. Either way, I’d like a say in where my things go.”
Nash narrowed his eyes at her. “Can’t this wait until I’m home from the tour?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to do it today,” Maeve snapped.
“Why?” Nash challenged. Maeve looked at me for help.
“Think of it as a way to get closure. It’s a normal reaction,” I attempted to explain.
“Sorry, sweetheart, but nothing about this is normal,” Nash countered.
“Not for you, but for someone who is dying, this is normal behavior, Nash. Your mom wants peace of mind, to know that you’re going to be okay. Is it too much to ask for you to give her this?”
Maeve cut in. “Speaking of knowing that you’re okay, I have a request.”
“Oh, God,” Nash mumbled, and I shot him a scathing look.
Maeve continued as if he hadn’t spoken, “After I’m gone, I want Rowan to stay and live here.” Her words made me spit my orange juice across the table.
“What?” I screeched.
“You want Rowan and I to live together here… in sin?” I could tell by Nash’s tone that he was trying to get a rise out of her.
“How you live is up to you. I simply want to know that she has a place to rest her head at the end of the day.” My eyes smarted. God, I loved this woman. She was trying to take care of me. “It’s not like we don’t have enough room,” she told me. “Nash is rarely even here.” She looked back-and-forth between the two of us. “I want you to take care of each other.” Nash stared at her in obvious shock, and I felt bad for him. Talk about stuck between a rock and a hard place.
“That’s really sweet of you, Maeve, but I’m going to be okay,” I assured her.
She leveled her shrewd eyes at me. “Promise me you will at least consider it.”
After wiping up my orange juice spit from the table, I reached over and clasped her hand in mine. “I’m going to be okay,” I repeated.
“Promise me.” Her firm tone brooked no argument. I looked to Nash for help, but all I got was a shoulder shrug. There was no way I could stay here. “Rowan.” Maeve’s warning tone spurred me into action.
“Fine, I promise I’ll consider it.”
Maeve clapped her hands and smiled. “Good. Now, I’d like to start in my closet.”
As the three of us began weeding through Maeve’s belongings, I tried not to think about her request. Whereas it would be wonderful to have a place to call home, I didn’t think I could live here with Nash. Maeve wanted us to take care of each other, not each other’s sexual needs. I was going to have to figure out a way to tell her no without hurting her feelings.
The time we spent cleaning out the house was just what the doctor ordered. Nash and Maeve reminisced about the past, told stories about Nash’s childhood, and talked about things to come. The day was filled with love, laughter, and even a few tears. It was the perfect homage to Maeve, and I couldn’t have been more proud of Nash. Even though it wasn’t what he wanted to be doing, he managed to tough it out and to make his mother happy.
Around five, Maeve started to peter out. Truthfully, I was surprised she’d made it as long as she had. At my suggestion, Nash made the two of us hamburgers and a smoothie for Maeve.
The moment he swallowed his last bite of burger, Maeve held up her arm with the IV port attached, and said, “Hook me up, Scotty. I’m toast.”
“Don’t you mean beam me up?” Nash teased.
“That, too,” she said through her laughter. Nash stood and started clearing the dishes, while I helped Maeve to her bedroom.
“You cooked. I’ll take care of the kitchen once I get your mom settled,” I called over my shoulder.
His lips turned up into a devilish smile. “I was hoping you’d say that.” Maeve let out a snort of humor.
“He always did hate kitchen duty,” she muttered.
“I still do!” he called after her.
Once I got Maeve settled in bed, Nash kissed her on the forehead and declared that he was off to take a shower. Maeve and I discussed the racy book she’d been reading before I went over the instructions on how to unhook her IV from the port in her arm in case she needed to go to the bathroom or happened to wake up early. Once she had the hang of it, I administered the morphine. The poor girl was practically asleep before her head hit the pillow. After recording her vitals, I cleaned up the kitchen. While doing this, I reflected back on today’s activities, starting with what happened in Nash’s bedroom this morning. I didn’t know what to think. Clearly we’d stepped over a line. I wasn’t sure what that meant for him, but I certainly knew what it meant for me. I wanted him. I always had. I just wasn’t willing to admit it until now. My conscience wouldn’t let me take advantage of his mother, but if given the chance to be with him, I was going to take it…even if it was a one-time deal and meant walking away when all was said and done. The dance that we’d been doing for months now was officially over. Nash had made a declaration this morning, and I was calling him on it.
After locking up the house, I made my way upstairs. As I reached my bedroom, I noticed Nash’s door was open, and thought, screw it. We needed to talk. It might as well be now. Down the hall I marched with my head held high and my heart on my sleeve. The moment of reckoning was finally here. I rounded the corner of Nash’s bedroom and screeched to a halt. There he stood in the middle of his room with nothing but a yellow and green striped towel wrapped loosely around his waist. He didn’t see me, but I sure as hell saw him. As he moved across the room to his dresser, droplets of water dripped from his hair onto his shoulders. They trickled down his chest and back, only to be absorbed by the towel. As if sensing me standing there, he turned. His eyes flared with surprise. Please don’t ask me to leave, I thought. We stood there staring at each other for the longest time, as if daring the other to make the first move. His lips turned up into a sexy smile, and I thought about what I’d promised myself. Here it was, right in front of my face. My opening. Inhaling deeply, I stepped over the threshold. As I closed the door behind me, his expression morphed from humor to lust. His eyes licked up and down my body, and I felt raw, exposed…desired. Without warning, Nash dropped his towel. It landed on the floor with a thunk, but I paid it no mind. I only had eyes for him. His face. His body…just him.
Nash Bostwick, the man whom I’d inadvertently lost my heart to, took a step in my direction. Then another. My pulse rocketed. My blood sang. My body buzzed with pent up desire. His arm shot out as he reached me. His hand wrapped around my neck, and he yanked me forward. As our bodies collided, his lips crashed down onto mine, and my gasp of surprise was stifled by the minty taste of his tongue as it swept inside.
“Shoes…off,” he muttered against my mouth. Without hesitation, I toed off my shoes. He reached for my scrub pants as I pulled off my t-shirt, and I was left standing there in my bra and panties. He paused long enough to get an eyeful, before reeling me back in. With our lips, tongues, and hands, we kissed, tasted, and touched. Finally, needing more, Nash stripped off my panties as I unclasped my bra. Before I was once again trapped in his web, I took him in hand. He was so hard, so perfect, and I couldn’t help but revel in the fact that it was me who’d made him this way. Rowan Burns, the nothing girl from nowhere.
“Fuck, don’t stop,” Nash hissed. A moan rushed from my lips when I felt his hand between my legs. His fingers dipped inside, and the moan became a gasp. Up and down I stroked as he slid his fingers in and out of me. “You are perfect,” he whispered in my ear. How my heart ached for this man. Instead of words, I rewarded him with a deep kiss and a hard tug. His appreciative groan was a turn on, an incentive to get lost in the moment. It had been so long since I’d allowed myself the freedom to feel. Drunk on emotions and high on sensations, I gave him every last piece of me. For a brief moment in time, I was indestructible…unstoppable. Stroke for stroke, we worked each other into a sexual frenzy. Right as I was about to break apart, he pulled back. “Not yet,” he said. Face to face, body to body, we stared into each other’s eyes, feeling but not saying. Hand in hand, he led me over to the bed, where we fell into a tangle of arms and legs, tongues and teeth, growls and sighs. When we were once again panting for it, he rolled on a condom and slid inside. It was everything and more. Absolute perfection. As he took my body, I gave him my heart. Our thrusts were in sync, our movements choreographed to perfection. It felt as if we’d done this a thousand times before. When I finally broke apart, he was right there to catch me, just as I was for him. Breathing heavily, we lay captured in each other’s stare, our eyes saying what our lips would not. Moments passed, before Nash pulled out. Before escaping to the bathroom to dispose of the condom, he kissed my forehead, followed by my nose, and last my lips. Then he whispered, “Perfect.” If I was perfect, then there were no words to describe him.
While he was busy in the bathroom, I threw on his t-shirt and padded down to the kitchen to grab two bottles of water. While downstairs, I looked in on Maeve. Once I was satisfied that she was still sleeping soundly, I returned to Nash, who was back in bed and propped against the pillows, staring at the door with a smile on his face.
As I neared the bed, he held up his hand. “Don’t you dare get into this bed with that shirt on,” he warned.
“Or what?” I challenged. In the blink of an eye he was up off the bed and standing in front of me. As he pulled the shirt from my body, I giggled like a goof. He silenced my laughter with his lips, and I dropped the water bottles onto the floor as he tackled me onto the bed.
The second time around, Nash took his time. I’m pretty sure he touched and licked every inch of my body. By the time we were done loving each other, the sun was peeking through the blinds. Nash fell asleep first, while I stared at his wall with a huge smile on my face. I’d never felt anything like what I felt for Nash Bostwick. He was every fantasy come true and then some. Whatever came of this night, I knew that my heart would never be the same.
The sound of snoring woke me from a deep sleep. It was a small snore, but loud enough to bring me to full consciousness. As I lay there wrapped in Nash’s arms listening to him whistle through his nose, I tried to make heads or tails of my feelings. Last night was hands down the best night of my life. I couldn’t help but wonder if Nash felt the same. Before I allowed the doubts to creep in, I decided it was time to get up and get moving. Maeve should be up by now and in need of her morning dose of pain medication. By the time I’d extracted myself from Nash’s arms and made it back to my room, the clock read a quarter to noon. I was instantly worried. Maeve never slept past ten. The house was suddenly way too quiet. She should have bellowed up the stairs well before now. As I threw on the first clothes I could find, panic began to take root. Something was wrong. I could feel it in my bones.
As fast as my feet could carry me, I flew past Nash’s bedroom and down the stairs. Everything was just how I’d left it when I went to bed last night. Where was Maeve? There was only one reason why she wasn’t up and banging around downstairs and it was unconscionable…unfathomable…absolutely unacceptable.
“Please no. Please no.” I chanted as I pushed open her bedroom door. My hands flew to my mouth when I saw her lying in her bed. She looked asleep, but I knew better. “Please no,” I whispered as I stepped up beside her and pressed my fingers to the side of her neck. Not only was there no pulse, but her body felt cool to the touch. A sob escaped, followed by another, and pretty soon I was out and out weeping. How had I not seen this coming? How? “No. Oh, God, please no. I’m so, so, so sorry,” I chanted through my tears.
“Ro?” Nash asked from the doorway. I jerked my head up in surprise. His eyes froze on mine, before dropping to his mother. He looked back at me with pleading eyes, and my heart broke all over again.
“She’s gone,” I whispered through my tears.