Chapter Seven
All I Want for Christmas
Nash
I kissed her. What the fuck was I thinking? I flopped down onto my bed, adjusted my hard on, and let out a groan of frustration. Something had to give. There was no denying that Rowan wanted me. The taste of lust on her lips and the heat pouring from her core were all the proof I needed. I could be balls deep inside her right now, so why was I lying here like a waste of space instead of in there nailing her seven ways to Sunday?
You know exactly why.
Rowan wasn’t a Meltie or an insignificant piece of ass. She was a woman of substance, and I was a dick. I would only hurt her. She deserved better than me, but I could no longer deny that I wanted her. I wanted her champagne lips and wet dream scent more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life, which was why I needed to stay the hell away. Too bad I didn’t want to.
After a long, very cold shower, my boner finally deflated and I could think straight again. I knew that Grant was going to propose to Mallory over our Christmas break from touring, I just never dreamt it would be tonight. I was happy for him, but at the same time I wasn’t. Everything was changing. I watched Grant drop down on one knee earlier tonight, and it hit me. This was his last Christmas as a single man. First Dale, then Luke…and now Grant. I wasn’t exactly losing Grant, but it sure as shit felt like it. If only I could turn back the clock, then maybe I could have saved them. Maybe I would still be able to save my mother. I shook the thought from my head. Not now. I’d already had just about all I could take tonight. What I needed was a distraction. If it couldn’t be Rowan, then it would have to be the next best thing.
Quietly, I slipped from my room and headed to the downstairs bar where I poured myself a stiff drink. The sweet taste of bourbon burned a path down my throat, and I took another long drink before pouring more into the glass and carrying it into the music room. I tried not to think about how Rowan tasted or felt pressed against me as I placed my drink on the shelf. Slowly, I lifted my guitar and began to play. A few hours passed before I finally felt relaxed enough to sleep.
On the way to bed I paused outside of Rowan’s room. All I had to do was open the door and walk in. Fuck! I shook my head from side to side. Why did I kiss her? All that did was make me want her more. Before doing something even more boneheaded, like sticking my dick in her, I escaped to my room and face planted on my bed.
“I don’t even want her,” I mumbled into my pillow. It was a lie, but I felt better for saying it.
The next morning I woke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of bacon frying. Rowan’s door was open as I passed by.
Mom’s eyes lit up when she saw me enter the kitchen. “Merry Christmas, Son.” I rounded the island and pulled her into my arms for a hug. She felt so frail in my arms, and I was once again reminded how we were living on borrowed time.
“Merry Christmas, Mom,” I whispered against her hair. She pulled back and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek.
“Do me a favor and set the table for me?” she asked.
After doing her bidding, I went in search of Rowan. I found her organizing presents around the tree. Her big, green eyes lit on me when I entered the room. Even with her hair sitting on top of her head in a mop of curls and no makeup on, she was gorgeous. My fingers ached to touch her. My traitorous body responded whenever she was near. This was definitely not a good thing, especially with my mother around. Images of how Rowan looked, tasted, and felt last night as I kissed her flashed through my head, and I could no longer deny that I was in serious trouble.
Rowan smiled when she spotted me standing in the doorway. “Merry Christmas, Nash.”
“Merry Christmas. I have presents,” I barely managed to get out. She gave me an expectant look, and I hurried into the music room to retrieve the gifts I’d purchased. As I handed the presents over, a stray hair fell into her eyes. Without thinking, I reached up and brushed it behind her ear.
Her breath hitched as she took a step back. “I can’t. We…shouldn’t.”
I held up my hands. “I know. I’m sorry –”
“Don’t,” she cut me off. “It was a moment, that’s all.” I knew it was much more than that, but I wasn’t willing to admit it.
“Breakfast is ready,” Maeve said from the doorway.
Rowan and I took turns telling Mom about the party over breakfast. From there, we carried our coffee into the family room, where we opened gifts. With the help of Grant, Mom gave me a new, extremely kickass black and white guitar. I couldn’t wait to break it in. Rowan gave me a leather song book with my name engraved on the front. It was thoughtful and perfect, just like the woman who’d given it to me.
I slowly traced my fingers across it, before looking into her eyes, and saying, “It’s beautiful.” Rowan’s blush let me know that she understood the feelings behind my words.
Rowan unwrapped Mom’s gift first. It was a new cell phone.
“Maeve,” she whispered. Tears filled her eyes as she pulled the phone to her chest.
“Your phone belongs in the dark ages. I thought you might like one with all the bells and whistles,” Mom told her. Rowan wiped the tears from her face as she nodded her head yes. Clearly, I’d missed something. Before I could question it, Rowan picked up my gift and tore into it. Years ago, Grant hooked up with a girl who owned a custom jewelry store in Austin. Her name was Mayra, and she was cool as shit. Mayra and Grant didn’t last long, but we remained friends. So when I asked if she could make a necklace using an emblem that represented the word always, she was more than happy to oblige.
“Oh my God,” Rowan gasped when she saw it. “It’s beautiful, Nash. What does the symbol mean?”
“Friendship,” I lied.
“Put it on me.” She turned her back to me. Her scent, the same one that had me practically crawling into her panties last night, wafted in my direction, and my cock instantly reacted. There was no way I could touch her and not embarrass myself.
“Mom’s got smaller fingers. Let her do it,” I suggested.
Rowan shifted over to Mom and I felt as if I could breathe again. Once the necklace was secured on her neck, it was Mom’s turn to open presents. Rowan gave Mom an e-reader and a lap blanket. When Mom griped about how she enjoyed the smell of books, Rowan asked her to please try it before she judged. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Mom already had an e-reader, courtesy of me from two Mother’s Days ago, sitting in her nightstand most likely still in its original box. After giving me a scathing look, Mom gave in and told Rowan she would try it out. I found the whole thing rather amusing. Next up was my gift. With Rowan’s help, I’d put together a scrap book of my favorite photo memories from my childhood. I knew Mom would love it. When she burst into tears, I didn’t know what to do. My mother was many things, but a crier was not one of them. I looked to Rowan for help, and found her crying right along with Mom.
“Shiiiiiiit,” I growled, and pulled them both in for a hug. “Ladies, please?” I all but begged as I gently patted their backs. After what seemed like an eternity, Mom let out a snort of laughter. Pretty soon the three of us were laughing like goofs.
That night, after a meal of leftovers, we all three piled up on the sofa for another movie marathon. Mom fell asleep halfway through Old School. We paused the movie in order to get her into bed. While Rowan got the meds situated, I carried Mom to her bedroom. She woke up as I was settling her onto her bed. That’s when I noticed the rose sitting on her bedside table. Thanks to crazy Nadine, I seriously hated roses.
“I meant to thank you, but forgot,” Mom said.
“Thank me for what?” I asked, still staring at the rose.
“What do you think, silly? The rose.” I jerked my eyes to hers, and frowned.
“I didn’t give you that rose.” We both stared at the object of our discussion.
“Rowan said she found it on my pillow while I was napping yesterday. She didn’t want the thorns to poke me, so she put it in a vase.”
“Hang on a second, Mom.” I kissed the side of her head, and said, “I’ll be right back.”
“I was just mixing her grape juice,” Rowan explained when she saw me coming her way. The look on my face must have told her that something was wrong, because she froze mid-stir. “Is it Maeve?” she gasped.
“Where did you get that rose? Mom said it was on her bed.” Rowan’s shoulders slumped in relief.
“It was lying on her pillow when I got home from shopping yesterday. Why?” My lungs seized in my chest.
“Where was I?” I asked.
“You were in your music room. Why, Nash? You’re starting to scare me.” I had checked on Mom twice while Rowan was gone yesterday, and both times she was asleep. Neither time was there a rose on her pillow. Someone was in my fucking house. Not just someone. Nadine. Before I said anything to Mom or Rowan, I needed to talk to Blane. “Nash!” Rowan called after me as I bolted up the stairs to my room.
Blane answered on the fourth ring. “Merry Christmas. I didn’t expect to hear from you tonight.”
“I think Nadine is back,” I blurted.
“Who?”
“Nadine. The chick who stalked me – who broke into my hotel rooms and left roses on my pillows – who went fucking nuts and almost killed that girl, Rosa, all because I slept with her. Please tell me you haven’t forgotten?” I growled.
“No, sorry. You caught me off guard. God,” he let out a whoosh of air. “I haven’t thought about her in ages.”
“Where is she, Blane?”
“I’m not sure.” The hesitancy in his voice made the hair on the back of my neck stand at attention.
“What do you mean you’re not sure? You told us you took care of her.” If he lied to us, I was going to wring his fucking neck.
“She was a minor, Nash. I couldn’t have her hospitalized without her parent’s consent. Grant said to make it go away, and I did,” he defensively responded. Shit. This was not what I wanted to hear.
“How?”
“I paid to get her help.” His words made me pause.
“Wait, so she did get help?”
“As far as I know she did. What is this about? Did you see her?” I told him about the roses in my hotel rooms followed by what happened yesterday with Mom. “Fuck,” he hissed.
“Find her,” I ordered.
“I’m on it. In the meantime, you need to beef up security at your house. Call Hank.”
“Let me know when you have something,” I told him, and hung up. I immediately called Hank. After filling him in on what had been happening with the roses and listening to him bitch about safety and full disclosure, we discussed what to do about security. We both agreed that calling the police was premature, but that didn’t mean I was going to sit back and let something bad happen. Fuck no. Mom was not going to be happy, but there was no way in hell I was letting that psycho nut job anywhere near this house again. If I had to get cameras on every window and door in the entire fucking place, so be it.
By the time I made it back downstairs, Rowan had given Mom her medicine and she was already fast asleep.
“What is going on, Nash?” Rowan whispered as we stepped from Mom’s room. I grabbed her hand and led her back into the living room, where I pulled her down onto the sofa beside me and explained about Nadine.
“So you think she was in here?” she squeaked as she perused the room.
“It’s the only thing that makes sense.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Hank knows some guys in town who worked on Grant’s security system after what happened with Luke. He’s contacting them tomorrow morning. Don’t worry. I promise I won’t leave until I know you both are safe, okay?” She nodded her head, but I could see the uncertainty and fear in her eyes. I pulled her close and tried not to think about how good she felt in my arms.
“Does Maeve know about Nadine?” she asked.
“No.” She pulled back and scowled at me.
“No?”
“I didn’t want to worry her,” I lamely explained.
“Nash Bostwick! Your mother is going to kick your ass,” she exclaimed in the sassy, cute voice that I’d grown to love. Love. A powerfully scary word that was becoming less and less so by the minute.
Neither of us was ready for bed, so we watched the rest of the movie. When it was over, I sent Rowan up while I checked the locks on the windows and doors. The patio door was unlocked, and most likely the culprit. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about, now there was Nadine. Why now after all this time? It didn’t make sense.
That night I barely slept. I kept hearing phantom noises. I must have checked the locks twelve times before finally crashing on the downstairs sofa.
When Marcel, Sean, and Grant showed up around eight the next morning, I was already awake and on my third cup of coffee. I asked about Chaz, and Grant laughed. Apparently, after spending the past few nights wasted, Grant told him to go home. Mom rolled into the kitchen right as the security guys rang the doorbell. Rowan walked in minutes later. With Grant’s help, I explained to everyone what we were dealing with. I expected Mom to be furious. Surprisingly, she was more worried than anything. From her perspective, Nadine just needed a good talking to. I hated to burst her bubble, but Nadine needed a hell of a lot more than words. Try a white jacket with strapped down arms.
“What if Blane doesn’t find her?” Mom asked.
“Then we’ll hire LASH to look for her,” Grant answered.
“Either way, we’ll find her, Mrs. B., but in the meantime we’re going to make sure you feel safe in your home before we head back on the road,” Marcel promised. I shot him a grateful look and he patted me on the back.
It took the security team all day to install the alarm. By the time they were through, we all felt a hell of a lot better. Part of my music room had been turned into a screening room. We could see the house from all angles through the bottom four television screens. The top two displayed the indoor sweeper cameras. One swept across the downstairs living room all the way to the kitchen door. The other hit the upstairs hallway to the front door area. We all agreed that even though the rose was in Mom’s room, there was no need for actual cameras in the bedrooms. Mom was worried about lack of privacy, but the guys assured her that all she had to do was turn off the feed to whichever part of the house she didn’t want monitored. It was extreme, but necessary. There was no way I was going back on the road without it, and until Nadine was located, this was how it had to be.
My last night in town Grant and Mallory showed up at the house with pizza. We spent the evening playing cards, and I tried not to think about how much I didn’t want to leave tomorrow. It was the worst possible time to be away. Rowan assured me she had it under control, but what if something happened? Only one more month, I kept telling myself.
Grant and Mallory cut out around ten. After Rowan helped me get Mom to bed, she slipped out of the room.
“Grant needs you and you need him,” Mom stated in her very matter-of-fact I know this shit because I’m a Mom voice.
I finally confessed what I’d been thinking all day out loud. “I don’t want to leave you right now.”
She reached over and grabbed my hand. “You can’t stay.” Our eyes met, and, even though she wasn’t saying it, I knew what she meant.
“You can’t die,” I whispered.
“I won’t die. Even if I do, you’ll be fine.”
I frantically shook my head. “No I won’t.” She squeezed my hand and I bit my lip to keep from crying.
“You will because you have no choice. I have no choice. This is the lot that life has handed us, my sweet boy. I would give anything…” her voice cracked, and I grabbed her to my chest.
“Me, too, Mom.”
After a long moment, she cleared the tears from her throat. “I’ll take care of Rowan for you.”
“Rowan will be fine.”
She pulled back and glared at me. “Don’t give me that tone. Rowan has been hurt in the past. She needs us.” I had no idea what she was talking about. I narrowed my eyes and asked her to explain. “It’s not mine to tell.” I waited for her to elaborate, but clearly she was done talking. “Goodnight Nash.”
Finally, I gave up and kissed her cheek. “Love you, Mom.”
By the time I made it up to bed, Rowan’s door was closed. I thought about knocking on it, but changed my mind. The last thing I needed to do tonight was to stir shit back up with Rowan.
Grant, Marcel, and Sean showed up early the next morning to pick me up. Saying goodbye to my mother was excruciating, especially when Blane had yet to locate Nadine. Rowan had managed to avoid me all morning. Finally, I said fuck it, and at the last minute cornered her and pulled her in for a bone crushing hug.
“Please take care of her,” I quietly said, when what I really meant was please don’t let her die.
She gave me a tight squeeze. “I’ve got this. Now, go be amazing.”
As we pulled away from the curb my mother and the woman who was slowly stealing my heart stood arm and arm as they waved goodbye. More than anything in this world I wanted to be back there with them. For the first time in I couldn’t remember when my life was about more than just the music. Maybe it was Rowan. Maybe it was Mom. Hell, maybe it was all me. Whatever it was, it scared the living shit out of me.