THEY DROVE THE rest of the evening and into the night to parts unknown. Declan seemed to have a plan, knew where he was going, but Lydia didn’t. And she didn’t dare ask. Riddled with guilt, she finally gave into a fitful sleep after many silent tears

A long quiet drive in the middle of the night gives one time to really reflect. Declan did just that as they flew down the freeway, trying to get as far away from Rapid Falls as they could, and fast. He, too, felt guilty.

He had been angry with Lydia and rightfully so. They could’ve been killed. However, he was more angry that he let his guard down so far that he nearly missed it and walked them right into their end. The anger he expressed toward her went far deeper though. For the first time, the very first time, he had been scared. Not for himself but for her.

Fear was an emotion he hadn’t really experienced. He was trained to be emotionless, work on auto-pilot; this shit was like second nature to him. But today, he stalled, almost panicked, afraid he wouldn’t get her out of there in time. It had nothing to do with his own life. In fact, he was trained not to fear death too – but no amount of training could have prepared him for being faced with possibly losing hers.

What were these feelings, and how the hell was he supposed to just turn them off? Why couldn’t he avoid them? Reverting back to all business like he had, removing all things personal between them and acting like the professional he was didn’t even numb those feelings. It just made him an asshole, and he didn’t like that either because he cared what she thought about him. That was new, too.

All he was able to surmise was that Lydia was no longer a job to him. He would explore what all of that meant another day.

Before the sun was even up, in the early morning, he pulled into a shabby, pay by the hour, cheap motel. He left her in the car, sound asleep while he went into the motel office to secure a room. When he returned, he pulled the car around to their room, parked, then sat and stared at her for a moment.

She seemed to be sleeping peacefully, but her expression told another story.

Making his way around to the passenger side of the vehicle, he gave her a gentle shake, and whispered, “Lydee? C’mon, wake up, darlin’.”

Though gentle and soft, he stirred her into a quick fit. “Wh-what? What happened? Where are we? What…happened?”

Looking around, trying to get her bearings, she was confused by the setting before her. He hadn’t meant to startle her awake, hence the gentle gesture and whisper, but it seemed she was as on edge as he was.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said. “I need to grab a few hours’ sleep before we hit the road again. Let’s go inside, and you can get back to sleep.”

“Oh. Okay, yeah. I’m sure you’re tired. Sorry.” Quick to get out of the car, she stood waiting for him to lead them inside.

“I’ll grab the bags when we need them; best to leave them in here for now,” he said, opening the janky door to their home for the next few hours.

“Oh.” Looking around the small space and it’s few amenities, she tried to remain positive. “Okay, so just sleep and hit the road. Sounds like a plan.”

“Yeah. There’s just the one bed – you take it – I’ll take the chair.” His gentleman’s gesture went a long way with her.

“No, that wouldn’t be fair. I have already been sleeping. You’re the one that has to drive, so you take the bed. I’ll be fine in…that…chair.” With a bright smile, she really tried to sell it, but he saw right through her.

“I’ve slept in worse places, Lyd…”

Certain he had slept in worse, she found it noble that he was still willing to sacrifice for her after what she had done. “No, I insist. I owe you more than a bed to sleep in at this point, so just humor me and take it.”

“Compromise? We both sleep in the bed.” Even in the dark morning hour, he could see her cheeks blush at the mention of sleeping in the same bed. “I’ll sleep on top of the covers and we each stay on our own half?”

Looking at the bed, then back to him, she grinned. “Deal.”

Without hesitation or another word, they both laid down, each facing a different direction to avoid awkward eye contact. It took everything in him to stay on his side and not pull her into him and hold her. Especially when he felt the subtle shakes of the bed – she was crying. He dozed off when he felt her calm and knew she had finally fallen back asleep and didn’t need him. Or maybe, it was more about him needing her?

Crashing and screaming from the room next door frightened Lydia awake. Thin walls quickly calmed her spooked nerves when the conversation carried through clearly. The lady next door, it seemed, wasn’t happy with her earnings. Apparently, the guy she was working for was a cheap limp dick who was so small he couldn’t make a pigeon scream. Interesting.

She didn’t have to get out of bed and look around to know Declan wasn’t in the room – it was that small. She did see a note, though, leaning against her bag, which was now sitting on the small round table under the window near the door. There wasn’t a clock in the room, but the sun was shining through the barely there linen curtains, indicating she had slept for some time. It must have been a fitful sleep because she didn’t feel any more rested now than she did before they arrived.

Taking the opportunity for privacy, she grabbed her bag and went for a quick shower while she waited for Declan to return with whatever breakfast and coffee he could turn up. Feeling clean after her shower was a challenge because the place was a disaster. She was pretty sure she showered in rusty water, and was covered in microbes that clung to her while in there, but at least she thought to cover the toilet seat with toilet paper before using it.

Complaining about the conditions of the room would be completely inappropriate, considering it was her fault they were there, but her distaste for the place had nothing to do with her previous lifestyle. The place was a wreck by anyone’s standards, and she would give just about anything for some good shampoo and a clean bathtub. This was part of her lesson, part of being on the run. A good ol’ case of karma.

Getting ready was nothing more than drying off and getting dressed. They had been in such a hurry to leave the cottage in Rapid Falls that she left her make-up behind, along with all of the other toiletries she typically used. She didn’t even have her toothbrush.

When Declan opened the door and entered the room, she was suddenly embarrassed. He had never seen her without her hair at least somewhat done and a little bit of make-up. It felt somewhat shallow to feel so insecure over such a thing, but she just couldn’t help herself.

Holding up a bakery box and tray with two coffees, he said, “I couldn’t find anything vegan in this town, so I figured donuts were our best bet. Mostly sugar and least amount of non-vegan…stuff in them. Oh! And the coffee place had coconut milk for your coffee, so…no cows.”

Looking through the box, she grabbed a donut and bit into it, shrugging her shoulders. “Thanks! Donuts are kind of becoming a thing for us.”

When she turned to grab her bag off the bed so they could leave, he couldn’t stop staring. Something was different about her – he didn’t know what though. Those odd feelings he had been carrying were trying to claw their way out, and he was doing his damnedest to push them right back down.

His heated stare could be felt even with her back to him. When she turned to confirm the sensation that was causing her skin to tingle, she suddenly felt insecure again. The blank stare he was wearing gave nothing away and left her to mistake the expression for one of disgust because without her make-up, she felt disgusting.

Covering her face with her hands, donut still in one, she stammered, “I know – no make-up – I look terrible. It wasn’t in my bag, I left it at the…house.”

“You don’t need it,” he replied in a gentle tone.

She laughed with a snort. “Ha! Right!”

He shook his head in disagreement. “You’re beautiful.”

Those words were not supposed to come out of his mouth, even if they were true. That thing that was different about her, that he couldn’t put his finger on, had just revealed itself. Sure, she looked a little different without make-up on – she was breathtaking. There was something so honest, wholesome, and real about her natural state that had him spinning. If he didn’t know better, he’d think he was seeing the real her for the first time.

Aware he had been staring a little too long, noticeable by the uncomfortable shifting from side to side Lydia was doing, he quickly changed the subject. Returning to his cold, icy demeanor to keep things professional, he shuffled stuff around, preparing to leave. Treating her like nothing more than a case was getting harder to do when every time he turned around, she revealed a new side of herself.

“If you think you need some, you can get it at the drug store. I saw one not far from here.” Avoiding eye contact was his new approach.

“Drug store make-up? They test that on animals; it’s cheap for a reason,” she retorted, appalled by his suggestion. “I’ve never used drugstore make-up in my life.”

“Well then, maybe you shouldn’t have pulled your little stunt and sent out a smoke signal to Esteban’s blood thirsty henchmen. You wouldn’t have had to leave all the pretty make-up behind.” He knew he was being an ass, more so than necessary, but he said it anyway.

The abrasive reminder was overkill. She had been hard enough on herself with all of the tears she’d shed and guilt she wore. His brazen approach was more for him than her. It was a reminder that she was a case, a job. He needed to keep that clear in his mind before she became a liability or worse, a target for anyone he encountered over the years, in his line of work, who wanted revenge.

The final nail in the proverbial coffin that was their budding friendship came as harshly as the rest. “You’re lucky it’s just make-up. You almost got yourself killed and left your son an orphan.”

It was the right call. He accomplished his goal; she completely closed off as the color drained from her face, and her eyes glassed over. Tossing her bag over her shoulder, she walked right by him, grabbing another donut and her coffee, and headed straight to the car but not before adding her own chilly edge.

“But I’m already dead, remember?”

Later that evening, they had stopped for fuel, then a quick bite to eat in a small just off the freeway rest stop type town. Declan stayed with the car, fueling it up, while she ran inside to the restroom so she could toss cold water on her face. Back to the ear blistering silence routine, she needed a moment of peace where he couldn’t get in her head.

Taking her time to get back to him, she noticed a strange car speeding off just as she left the building. A familiar car, and it was driving away from where Declan was now parked. Odd – he was just standing there, watching her, calmly. It must have been a friendly drive by and not one of their threatening nemesis.

“Who was that?” she questioned.

Reaching his hand out in front of her without even answering the question, he said, “Here, put this in your bag. New identity.”

“Oh, are we back to the less I know, the better? Figures.” She jumped in the car, Declan right behind her, and settled in her seat.

Sifting through the fake bank cards and what appeared to be some sort of blood bank card this time, she came across her new driver’s license. “Are you kidding me?”

A shit eating grin crossed Dec’s face when he knew she saw it. “What?”

“What? What do you mean, what? You know what. Do you think this is funny? Pearla Gray? You couldn’t come up with anything better?” she asked, referring to the name on her new I.D.

He pulled into a parking lot just a few blocks down from where they had fueled up, heading straight for the fast food drive thru. “Well, Emily Black was a nice name, and you sort of ruined that one. Maybe you won’t go splashing this one around after a few beers.”

“So, this is punishment? Am I grounded too? Oh wait, don’t answer that…I’m right here, in this car with you…grounded! Pearla Gray, isn’t that some sort of…of…tea or something?”

“That would-be Earl Gray, but hey, pretty close!” His amused chuckle made her blood boil. “Stay out of trouble, or they’ll keep getting worse, Pearla.”

“This is just…I don’t even look like a Pearla,” she said under her breath.

“You’re lucky it’s just a name. Maybe next time I’ll redden that bare, spoiled, little ass of yours first – then give you a real shitty name. Now what are you eating; I need to order.”

Her face reddened and skin heated at the idea of his hand on her bare ass, but she wasn’t about to let him know she would love nothing more. Instead, she played the game back like any good little spoiled girl named Pearla would. “Do they have anything vegan?”