IT WAS A five hour drive to Portland from McKenzie Ridge, only taking a short time longer this day as they travelled through the snowy pass leading to the valley below. Portland.

Portland was beautiful this time of year as much as every other season. It was late fall. The colorful leaves now sparse as winter settled in leaving her icy mark on the dewy tree branches. The air was cool and crisp, at times damp, as the rainy season had begun. It was mostly green, lush, peppered in vibrant fall colors. Simply beautiful.

Watermark came into view after exiting the freeway at the waterfront district. It hadn’t changed and still held a bold sleek presence among the rest of the buildings. It was the last place Declan and Lydia had been together, really together, before everything they built slowly unraveled. It was nostalgic – both eerie and exhilarating.

The place really was like a fortress, not easy to get into or out of unless you belonged. She felt safer the minute the roll-up door and gate to the underground parking closed behind them.

Everything was exactly as she remembered, even his apartment, down to the furniture. Nothing had changed, and all still appeared new and unused. His place felt unlived in – it even smelled new – confirming what he had said before. The time he was gone from her life, he was out in the world, fixing his past so they could be together. He clearly hadn’t been there much at all.

Jax had fallen asleep on the long ride to Portland. Declan carried him from the car, Dick at his side, to the room he would be staying in. Dick circled the floor bedside before circling up just as he did at home, protecting his boy. When Declan quietly pulled the door almost shut, he moved to his own room where he stashed Lydia’s bag.

“I’m not sleeping in there…with you,” She protested.

“Yes you will.” She started to interrupt, but he talked over her, finishing his thought. “I’m staying in the other room. You’ll have your own bathroom and the bed’s better in my room.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

He didn’t admit it to her, but he wanted to say in the first room because if somehow, by chance, anyone were to get in, they’d have to get through him first, then their guard dog, Dick.

Just outside Jax’s room, Declan gestured for her to follow him to the balcony off of the living room. He grabbed two beers from the outdoor kitchenette refrigerator and turned on the gas fire table in front of the couch they sat on.

“I forgot how amazing your view is.” She was a damn liar. She remembered; it was her favorite spot, and it held smoldering memories.

“Yeah, it’s nice I guess.”

“You guess?” she laughed.

Declan took a long pull from his beer and shrugged. “I don’t spend a lot of time out here. Not the same alone.”

“Oh,” She said in a voice that was lacking confidence. “Thank you – for doing this.”

“I told you I wasn’t letting anything happen to you – that I wasn’t going anywhere.”

“Well…”

He turned his body toward her and leaned in so she had no choice but to hear him and see him when he spoke his truth. “Lyd, I want you here, need you here.”

“Like a cozy little family?” Her snark was unwarranted, but she used it as a guard anyhow.

“I wouldn’t mind. I could get used to this – fast. It feels good, it feels right. All of it.”

A sense of pride struck when she realized by all, he meant Jax, too. She did love that the two had bonded; they were good for each other. But – there is always a but – how long could it last? “Uh huh, until another loose end comes…loose.”

“No, until forever. You’ll believe me…one day, you will. You and Jax, that’s all I care about, all I need. I’m not leaving again, and I’ll continue to say that until you hear it, too.”

Struggling to maintain her steely guard, she could feel it trying to fall out from under her. He said all of the right things, and he probably meant them, but she was afraid to let him in. Unsure what to say next, she veered the conversation elsewhere, to lighten the heavy emotion it was generating.

“And Dick?” she asked, knowing it was an awkward shift, but she wasn’t ready to give in. Not yet.

“Even Dick. Best decision I made all week was getting Di…the dog.” Catching himself before he really stepped into awkward conversation, he recovered nicely, leading them both to laughter. It felt good to laugh with her.

“Yeah, it was.”

With the thorny conversation about feelings and forever’s behind them, they moved on. They sat and talked about everything and nothing for more than an hour – no bad guys, no past guilt, just enjoying each other’s company.

At the sound of her stomach’s loud rumble, Declan excused himself briefly while he went for take-out. One of the perks of living in a building, in this type of community, was that you only had to go downstairs to grab anything you needed.

His favorite was a place called Scoops. It took up one of the streetside retail spots on the first level of Watermark. Its name said it all; everything served had to be scooped – mac-n-cheese, potatoes and gravy, casseroles, soups, salads, and even ice cream and gelatos for dessert. If it wasn’t scooped, it wasn’t served.

When he returned with bags full of a little bit of everything, Jax was up, cuddling on the couch with his mom on one side, Dick on the other.

Lydia turned and smiled over her shoulder at him, impressed with the many bags hanging from his arms. “Sorry, the dog won’t get down, and apparently still only listens to you. He isn’t even listening to Jax, insists on laying his head in his lap.”

Declan didn’t care if the dog was on the couch if it meant the people with him were there too, maybe one day to stay.

“Down, Dick.” He immediately cringed, knowing how awful that sounded, while she snickered. “I really hate his name.”

Noticing Jax was less than his normal energetic self, he asked, “What’s wrong with Jax?”

“Not feeling well,” She mouthed, as it was apparently a sore subject for the kiddo.

It didn’t go unnoticed, and Jax chimed right in, “I’m just sleepy and had an ouchy in da head.”

“Ah, a headache. Well, you had a busy day, dude. How about we eat and see if it helps? I even grabbed some ice cream for you. Gotta eat the food first though.”

Dinner didn’t do the trick. Jax barely ate, turned down ice cream, and just wanted to sit with his Buddy on the couch and watch a movie. Declan was happy to oblige. He wasn’t kidding when he said he could get used to this. Lydia’s heart melted at the sight of them. Even the dog was cozied up on the couch, with the boys.

Lydia cleaned up the kitchen, putting dinner away and thinking about what Declan had said earlier in the day. He mentioned forever, eluded to being a family, all words she would have jumped at two years ago. Words she wanted to believe now. Her heart never left him; it was taking all she had to keep those feelings she still had, at bay. Suppressed.

It would be so easy to just let go, let fate intervene, but there was still that tiny bit of hesitation that made her stall. It’s easy to be led by fear. The desire for safety and comfort can disguise itself as something more. That’s all this was – her desire to stay safe, for her son to be safe. She needed to not confuse that with past feelings.

Giggles and snickers had faded, and the movie credits were rolling, yet nobody was moving. They had fallen asleep. The sight of Jax snuggled up in Declan’s lap, laying against his chest, made her heart do that thing again – the thing it did every time those two were together.

Larger than life Declan with a tiny tot in his lap was sexier than a full-frontal lap dance. What was it about big tough men with kids and puppies – or in this case – big ugly dogs? She chuckled to herself, moving closer to check Jax’s temperature – rosy cheeks suggested a fever. Sure enough, he was hot.

Declan had been burning the candle at both ends, keeping odd hours to maintain their safety. For him to fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon spoke volumes. There was a small store on the corner building just across the street. She remembered it from the last time she was here and saw it was still there on their way in.

She knew the codes to get in and out, and Declan said it himself; they were safe here, no one knew they were in town, and it was literally right outside the door on the corner. She quickly slipped on her shoes and jacket and left for the elevator. Before punching in the code in the lobby, to let herself out of the building, she stopped and looked around, taking in her surroundings.

She watched as a few couples went in and out of the stores and people came and went from the pub across the way. There wasn’t a single person lurking or anyone who looked out of place. She would be gone less than five minutes. So, she stepped outside.

Declan woke to the ghastly sound of Dick snoring. The T.V. was off, the apartment quiet. No sign of Lydia. Careful not to wake him, Declan moved Jax back to his bed. It seemed he had a fever; poor kid had sweat all over Declan’s shirt. He didn’t mind though.

A quick search of the apartment confirmed that she wasn’t there. He was a bit unnerved that she didn’t leave a note but knew she was safe anywhere inside Watermark. Bored, frustrated, maybe she went down a few floors to the gym. Dialing her cellphone was pointless – he followed it to the kitchen counter where she had left it.

Something felt off, wrong. He didn’t have time to search every floor. It would be faster to call Liam and have him find her on the cameras and by tracing her code in the building. The longer it took Liam, the more his worry escalated. After lacing up his shoes, he grabbed his gun from a wall safe by the front door. He stashed it in there when they first arrived.

Tired of waiting, he had Liam send down Felicity, their one and only employee, to sit with Jax while he went and searched. Something was wrong; he could feel it in his bones.

“Shit,” Liam said through the phone. “I have her keying out just a few minutes ago. First elevator.”

“Okay, then?” Preparing himself for the oh shit, he waited for his brother to drop the bomb.

“Then the lobby, man. She left the building. Why would she…shit! I’m pulling up outside views now. Winding back feed now.”

Getting to the lobby never took so long – the elevator ride was painful and keeping him from getting to her. Finally bolting into the lobby from the elevator, he didn’t know where to go next. His patience was wearing thin.

“Okay, she went around the corner – she’s off our cam’s man. I’m pulling up city surveillance.”

Declan’s heart was pounding right out of his chest, his heart breaking. All he knew was she was out of the building, but it felt like much more. She was missing, and it left this odd void he’d never felt before.

“Shit. Get outside! Get outside! Go north! Someone is trailing her – wearing all black! Changing camera’s.”

“Where’d she pick them up?” Declan asked, running through the lobby.

Liam paused, “South side, guessing the park. Still trying to get on the city link on the north side. Fuck! Their shit sucks!”

Bursting through the lobby doors to the street, Declan pulled his weapon and ran north, waiting for more instruction.

“He has her, man! Keep moving! I’ve got you on here now too – keep heading that way. Alley! I got ’em in the alley, next block, between the parking garage and store. Dace is right behind you. Move!”

Dropping his phone into his pocket after switching to speaker, he yelled her name, if for no other reason to let whoever had her know he was coming, and her captors were about to have the holy living shit beat out of them. It was getting dark and cold; the streetlights were leading the way.

With the alleyway in view, he stopped at the corner, knowing better than to run in guns blazing. He could hear Liam yelling through the phone, “She’s down! She’s down! He’s on the run,” while giving Dace directions. Sure enough, as he peered around the corner, he saw Lydia laying on the ground, moving, as if she was trying to get her balance and sit up.

The alley was clear, with only her inside it, so he holstered his weapon and fell to the ground next to her. “Lydee? Lydee, talk to me baby.”

Sitting her up, he steadied her while he looked her over. He didn’t see anything but a cut on her head. Thank God.

“Declan. Oh, my God.” She began to sob. “I’m sorry. I thought it was okay – just going to the corner.”

“It’s okay,” he said, pulling her into him, his hand holding her head against his chest while he rocked her. “You’re okay, baby. You’re okay. Where are you hurt? Anywhere?”

Dace appeared behind him with his weapon drawn and aimed at the ground. “She good?”

Declan quickly nodded. “I think we’re good.”

“You got this?” Dace questioned while he crept away slowly, scanning the alley and exposed areas of the parking garage.

“Yeah – go! Go Dace. Fucking get him!” Without hesitation, Dace took off in a sprint, talking and taking direction from Liam who was coming through his earpiece.

“I just wanted to get Tylenol for Jax. I didn’t think to bring any. I looked, like you taught me. I watched everyone, knew where they all were, just like you said.”

“Shhh, it’s okay. He’s gone now. We think he was waiting for you. Did you see who it was?” Declan asked, hopeful for an I.D.

Leaning away from her, he brushed the dirt from her face and her hair out of her eyes. He ripped a piece of his shirt to apply pressure to her head wound, trying to slow the bleeding.

“I…I didn’t. It happened so fast. I was about to walk into the store when he grabbed my arm.”

“He?”

“Yeah…it was a man. He told me to walk. I could feel a gun or knife in my back, not sure which. Then, he shoved me against the wall and stood behind me. I felt his body against me.” She sobbed, the terror of reliving what had just happened nearly too much. “I tried to fight, but his weight…he was stronger. I stomped his foot, but he didn’t budge. Then I heard you – calling me. He said, ‘It’s not over.’ That’s when he slammed my head against the wall and left. I…I didn’t even see which way he went. Then you…you were here; you came for me.”

“I’ll always come for you, baby. Always.”