Ashley

It was my first day in my new office. I still couldn’t believe it was all mine. The pale yellow couches in the corner looked as wonderful as I thought they would, and the crystal sparkled against the noonday sun. I was eating lunch in it just to try and soak it all in. My eyes couldn’t stop bouncing around the room. The desk was perfect for me, a little shorter than most desks since my legs were so small. It was the same blond, matte-finished wood the closet in the corner was, and the ornate, hand-carved decorations kept beckoning my fingertips.

I couldn’t stop tracing all the curves and edges that were meant to boast of its price.

I took a bite of my sandwich as I sat back in my chair, a genuine leather chair with a softness to it that made me want to go to sleep. It reminded me of the seats in Jimmy’s car that day we had gone to get lunch.

Maybe they were the same.

My phone on my desk rang, and I thought about ignoring it. After all, I was technically on my lunch break. But I figured a small phone call wouldn’t hurt anything, so I picked it up anyway.

I could leave a few minutes early if it was really that big of a deal.

“Ashley Ternbeau speaking. How may I help you?”

“Miss Ternbeau? It’s Mrs. Claire from the nursing home.”

“Alice?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Your mother’s taken a spill. She had a rough morning at breakfast, and the nurses struggled to get her back to her room. Long story short, she fell and broke her hip.”

“How the hell did my mother fall, Alice?”

“She had a lucid moment this morning at breakfast, but it quickly faded. Didn’t know where she was. Couldn't remember what she was eating. She got upset, and it was upsetting people in the dining hall, so a couple of the nurses tried to escort her back to her room.”

“She tried to run again,” I said breathlessly.

“She did. She’s at the hospital across the street. One of our nurses is with her. She’ll want to talk to you about where we go from here in treating your mother.”

“I figured. Okay. I’m leaving work now,” I said.

“Something wrong?”

I whipped my head up to see Ross standing at my door.

“Hey there. Um, I really sorry, but I have to go. My mother’s, uh ...”

“No need to say anymore. Where can we take you?” he asked.

“I have my car. I can drive.”

“Not with those shaking hands, you can’t. Let me escort you to the garage. One of our drivers will take you to the hospital,” he said.

Ross escorted me to the elevator and took me downstairs. A car drove right up to the elevator, and Ross opened my door for me. I thanked him profusely and got in and then told the driver where I needed to be.

And fifteen minutes later, we were pulling into the parking lot.

“You can go if you need to,” I said.

“Nope. I’ll be sitting in a parking space in that first lot. Come on out whenever you’re ready,” the driver said.

“Thank you so much. Really. Thank you.”

I slammed out of the car and rushed into the hospital. Unfortunately, I’d become very accustomed to the layout of the place. I knew exactly where I needed to be and the quickest way to get there, and my legs carried me as quickly as I could go.

Two conversations and a spill of my own later, I was racing into my mother’s room. She was laid up in a hospital bed, her leg elevated and half her lower body in a cast. She looked over at me with tears in her eyes, and I felt my strong resolve crumble.

“I’m sorry, Ashley,” my mother said.

“Oh, Mom. You have nothing to be sorry for,” I said.

“I felt myself slipping that time. I-I felt my mind slowly dragging me back to that place.”

“You got scared, and you tried to get away. It’s a normal reaction to have,” I said.

“I’ll be laid up like this for weeks. Possibly months, with my condition.”

“Nonsense. We’ll get you back to walking in no time,” I said.

“My mind has been so terrible lately.”

“It comes with the territory, but we take it one day at a time. You and me. Like it’s always been.”

“But that isn’t how it should be anymore, Ashley. You’re in the prime of your life. You should be out dating and making friends and having drinks after work with your colleagues. You shouldn’t be running to hospitals and visiting your mother in a nursing home.”

“Stop that talk right now,” I said. “I won’t hear any more of it.”

“You need to hear it,” she said.

“What I do with my spare time is not your choice, Mom. You took care of me for years by yourself, shielded me from the pain of your own marriage and became my rock when Dad left. Now, it’s time for me to do the same. Not because I feel the need to repay you, but because you’re my mother. You’re family, and nothing’s more important than family.”

“You should be enjoying things,” she said.

“And I am. I got a dog the other day.”

“Your father would’ve hated that.”

“It brought me great pleasure to get something he would’ve hated,” I said with a grin.

“What kind of dog?”

“A beagle. He’s only twelve weeks old. He’s really cute. I think you’d like him.”

“Are those the ones with the floppy ears? I love floppy ears.”

“Then maybe you can come by sometime once I move and see him.”

“You’re moving?”

“I’m trying,” I said, giggling. “I haven’t heard back from the complex yet, but you would love it. It has a beautiful view that overlooks all of Miami.”

“It sounds beautiful, Ashley. Those are the kinds of things you should be enjoying.”

“And I am. All while making sure you’re okay and taken care of yourself.”

“Miss Ternbeau?”

I looked up and saw one of my mother’s nurses standing in the doorway.

“I’ll be right back, Mom. Okay?” I asked.

I turned my gaze to the nurse in the doorway as I headed out into the hallway.

“I don’t want my mother to hear this conversation,” I said.

“I figured. Look, the treatment regimen we have her on now, it’s not working. It’s not even keeping her lucid most of the time. We can try to switch tactics, but your mother’s in the final stages of Alzheimer’s.”

I felt tears rush to my eyes as I turned to look back at my mother. The pain medication they had her on was taking over, and I watched her eyes droop shut. Her breathing evened out, and the tension in her body left her. It was the most relaxed I’d seen her in weeks.

Months.

Possibly even years.

“What choices do we have?” I asked. “What can we do?”

“There’s another combination of drugs we can put her on for the more severe cases of Alzheimer’s. I would suggest different types of physical activity as well, but that’s been taken off the table. There are things we can do while she’s wheelchair-bound. Small three-pound hand weights and that sort of thing. And she’ll still get regular outside time in the sun, which will help a lot. But beyond that, it’s more about keeping her comfortable and taking the punches as they come.”

“We’re six years into this. From the reading I’ve done—”

“Ashley, I know you’re worried, and I know what the statistics are. We are reaching a point where modern medication won’t be able to help your mother, but we aren’t there yet. There are limited options, but they still exist.”

“What do you need from me?” I asked.

“Your signature to switch treatment.”

“Where’s the paperwork?”

I read through it, taking in every word on each page. I flipped quickly through them and committed the medications to memory, making sure I did my research on every single one of them. I trusted the care she was in, but I wanted the knowledge for myself. I wanted to make sure I could stand toe-to-toe with them in case something started going wrong.

Then I signed the papers, went in to kiss my mother, and left.

The drive back to work was long. I didn’t feel like working, but I knew I had to. Jimmy was scoring clients left and right, and there was a lot of things to field with paperwork and updating the investors.

I was so blinded by my own worry that I didn’t hear Ross calling out for me.

“Ashley? Ashley!”

“Hmm?” I asked.

“Didn’t expect you back so soon. How’s your mother doing?” Ross asked.

“She’s ... okay. For now. It’s pretty touch and go with her some days.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“Not really. I need to get back to work. Jimmy’s creating a lot of headache for all of us.”

“That’s his job, unfortunately. And he takes it very seriously.”

“I can tell. But thank you for offering to talk. I appreciate it,” I said.

“You know where I am if you feel like talking later.”

“I do. Thanks, Ross.”

“Anytime, Ashley. Anytime.”