Her voice was what woke me up. Toska was sitting on the bed as I slept, and she spoke in soft whispers to Syler. At first, I lay there trying to listen, but they knew the moment I was awake. Neither of them continued, so I turned over to stare at them both. He was sitting on the side of the bed with her, both of their backs to me.

“You’re a screamer,” Toska said, standing up while looking down at me. Syler didn’t look back. “Don’t get too comfortable.”

“Toska,” Syler said to her, confusing me.

She watched him, raised her eyebrows then walked out of the room, shutting Syler’s door on her way out, he turned to face me.

How was it fair that he got the perfectly symmetrical face? His cheekbones high, his jaw the perfect straight angle for me to slide my tongue along. My hand went between my breasts to touch

my necklace, and when it comes up empty, I stood to throw all the sheets from the bed to search. My heart beat furiously, my mind in a state of panic.

“Are you looking for this?” His voice pulled me from my drastic heart attack to see what he was holding around his own neck. My necklace now sat over his heart.

“It was my mother’s,” I said in a strange voice. I never realized how much I missed her until that very moment when I thought I’d lost something of hers that was so valuable to me. She wore it every day of her life, and I’d picked it up from her bleeding body the day she died and clutched it in my hands until the EMT arrived.

“It fell off.” He didn’t offer it back. Instead, he stood, walking to his computers and starting them up.

“Syler.” He didn’t answer me when I said his name. So I stood and pulled on one of his shirts. I walked out to find Toska, who was white as a ghost and curled up on top of the kitchen counter, not moving. “Syler,” I said his name louder this time. Toska was fine moments ago, and now she was in a state I’d never seen her in before.

He came out and swore as he walked over to her. She didn’t point or even say a word as he started searching around the house with his eyes.

“What are you looking for?”

He threw the chairs, possibly breaking them, then he even started to move the fridge. It was like he knew exactly what he was looking for, his increased agitation was evident. A rat ran over my feet, so I screamed, jumping back. He ran over, diving for it and missing it.

“The rat?” I ask more to myself because I don’t expect an answer. But he gives me one anyway.

“She can’t move. It’s her phobia, and it’s a fucking bad phobia. She locks tight and doesn’t move for hours. It was from him...” he said, diving for it as it ran around the kitchen counter.

Him! She told me all about him. Her foster father who abused her.

What does he have to do with rats, though?

Syler lifted the rat up as he caught it, glanced up at me, and then in one swift movement, snapped the rat’s neck. He walked it to the back door and threw it in the trash. Then he stepped over to his sister, lifted her from the counter and carried her like she was a child to her own room. She cried and clung to him until he placed her down, passing Toska her drugs, which she took fast then crawled into a ball.

Syler stood regarding me as I stood there watching them at her bedroom door.

Weird! His hand was circling her back as she took the drugs, and now he was watching her to make sure she was still breathing while she passed out on her pillow.

“That’s...” My eyes skimmed up to his to find him already watching me. Moving slightly so he could pass, he walked past me and straight back to his room. At first, he appeared like he was going to shut the door and lock me out, but he walked directly in—dropping his hand from his door—to his computers.

“She’s sick, Syler.”

He laughed at me, and it was an evil cackle. “If she’s sick, what the fuck are we?”

I shook my head, stepping further into his room. He watched me with predatory eyes but didn’t say another word, so I dropped it. It wasn’t my place to question her, or him for that matter.

We fucked, and that didn’t mean I was entitled to all that was him.

Crawling back into his bed, I closed my eyes and hoped to not wake for a bit longer.

***

WAKING, I PUSHED SYLER’S hand off me. He didn’t move as I got up to a black night’s sky. Pulling on my own clothes, I walked out to the kitchen to find Toska, now not so frozen in place and with wide eyes. She was cooking. I’d never seen her cook and as far as I knew she couldn’t. Stepping closer, I watched her reading the back of a cake packet. She couldn’t even follow the directions, so I nudged her out of the way with my hip and took over, cracking the egg and putting the milk into the batter. Her eyes were on me constantly, I felt them.

“You were frightened. I’d never seen you like that.”

She nodded her head as I managed to look up while I stirred the mixture. She flicked some icing dust at my face with her fingers and then licked it from hers.

“Tell me about your mother. Tell me what you remember.” Her words were odd, but I entertained her because no one ever asked about my mom. She was nothing but a ghost of the past in my house.

“She was beautiful. Her hair was as black as the night’s sky. She had kind eyes and loved me unconditionally.” My eyes lifted, and my hand paused from stirring as I stared at her.

“What about your mother, or even father?”

She shook her head. “I don’t remember them. We were in the foster system from when I was born. Love... I don’t even know what that is.”

“Your brother loves you,” I told her, and she nodded her head, smirking.

“He likes you. But I must warn you, I’ve never had to share him before.” She said it in a way as if she was warning me, and I took her warning to heart, then looked past her to see Syler standing at his door, shirtless, watching us. How long had he been there?

“At least you have Syler,” I said more to him than to her, but it was Toska who answered.

“Syler didn’t get the shit end of the stick, but he was witness to it. That’s what I got all the time from him. We were in his care for over ten years. He used to trap me in the basement with rats. They would crawl everywhere, all over me, as he had me tied to the chair. Then he would come down and make me... well, let’s just say, Syler saw it. He’d heard it before that, but this one time he actually witnessed it. And I’ve told you how that ended. Syler won’t let anyone hurt me. As I won’t let you hurt him, and I believe you’re the only one that can, Jaya.”

Her words shocked me.

Why would I hurt him?

Syler pushed off the door and walked over to us. Putting my head back down, I started to pour the cake batter into the tin. Then he was there next to me where I stood. He towered over me, but I stayed locked to my position. I was lost in all that was him. He touched my chin with his fingers, lifting my head, then he licked the edge of my lips, and I flicked my tongue out after he had pulled back. I taste it then, the cake batter that I sampled a little while ago. There must have been some on my lips.

“Don’t scare her off just yet, Toska,” Syler said, stepping away from me as I tried to catch my breath.

Toska laughed. “I don’t plan to. I like her too much.”

I smiled at her words, even though they didn’t make me feel safe.

What happens when she gets sick of me or doesn’t like me anymore?

That was the real question that needed an answer.