My feet are firmly planted on the floor, not wanting to move. Every sound that vibrates through the speakers oscillates through me as well. It touches me without physically touching me. My eyes scan the room trying to find a familiar face, but none are here.

I’m in the position I’ve dreamt of a thousand times, but in this situation, I’m not afraid to step forward and take the next step. No, usually, I have a big old smile on my face and almost tripping to get to the front of it. Not today, though, my mind is foggy, my hands are shaky, as my ticket’s called over the speaker again, calling me to my gate. It’s time to get on the plane, yet, I somehow can’t move my feet to take that final step, to push myself to walk to that gate and step on that plane.

My mind runs through all the possibilities.

Was I suddenly afraid of flying now that I had the opportunity to do so?

Shaking my head, I know that’s a lie. I want to get on that plane, a part of me does anyway, but the other’s screaming at me to go back to my bed where I know he’ll still be sleeping until he realizes I’m not there and he leaves.

Is that it for us?

It very well couldn’t be and should be.

I feel like a yo-yo.

I am a yo-yo.

Being pulled back and forth, to him and away from him.

Thinking Taj could cure me of him was the biggest lie I ever told myself. Now I feel dirty. I did nothing wrong, I mean Syler was going to let me die by his sister’s hand. He didn’t love me the way I wanted his love. We weren’t a thing. He proved that every time he put her first , every time he chose her. And yet, here I am, wanting him to choose me, wanting him to want me the way I want him.

My heart bleeds for him.

And a part of me hates him for having that type of hold on me. I never wanted a man to gain control like that. My father had that with my mother, he loved her more than life itself, even more than me. She wanted me... he didn’t want kids. My father loves me, just not as strongly or fiercely as she did.

“Miss... are you Jaya Elmor?” A hand touches my arm, pulling me from my thoughts.

Turning around, I almost fall backward. She looks like Toska—the beautiful yet cracked Toska— except this lady’s eyes are brown, where Toska’s are like her brothers, green. They’re not as captivating as his.

“Miss,” she says again. I’m standing in front of the gate, the only person left, ticket in hand as I look up at her. She gazes down at my ticket, and I know she’s trying to see if it’s me. I snatch it and hold it close to my chest.

“No.”

Then I turn, walking away from her, away from where I should be going. And I walk straight out of the airport with only the bag on my back. My suitcase had been checked and is probably on that plane right now, the one my father bought for me. And my heart skips a beat hard in my chest. This is either one of the stupidest mistakes I’m yet to make or the smartest. I’m going with stupid, and my hands shake as I wave down a taxi.

Yes.

Stupid.

***

THE HOTEL ROOM I CHOOSE to stay in is fancier than any place I’ve ever been to. The bedding’s white and crisp, and the flooring is shiny black tiles. A chandelier hangs over the kitchen table, and I contemplate not touching a thing, too afraid I may break it all. I’m breaking everything else in my life lately, making it all shatter and fall to pieces.

Ordering room service, I lay on my bed and scroll through Facebook, spying on Toska. Syler’s useless to spy on, he doesn’t have any social media accounts. He once told me Facebook’s a soul-sucking place, and why would he need people to know his every fucking move. I laughed and kissed him. He was serious though, but his sister, she was friends with around two thousand guys and every photo she put up she was half naked.

A knock comes on the door. Getting up, I grab my cash and answer the door, but it isn’t room service.

“You should have left, Jaya.” My eyebrows pinch at Taj’s words. His hand shoots out, and he grips my throat hard, pushing me back into my room and kicking the door shut with his foot. My hands drop the money and reach for his hands trapping my throat, and try to pull his hands away. He’s stronger than me, and it does no good at all.

“Why?” I manage to get out.

He squeezes harder, and the back of my legs hit the back of the bed. He pushes me down on it.

“Believe me, this wasn’t a part of it. You weren’t meant to happen.”

My nails dig into his hand. He lets my throat go, and I suck in a deep rush of air. Trying to escape him, my legs come up and push me backward, so he grabs my jeans pulling me back to him. I cover my throat with my hands, and he clucks his tongue at me.

“Taj, don’t!” I scream at him.

He doesn’t stop pulling me to him. Reaching for the very expensive lamp next to my bed, I pick it up and throw it in his direction. It hits the side of his head, giving me enough time to move and put distance between us. The moment I’m standing and know I can move, my breathing begins again.

“Why are you doing this?”

“She has a video of it. Did you know that? That fucking crazy bitch has video. We had fun, Jaya, but I don’t love you. I love me more. So, I come first.” He starts walking around the bed, coming at me again.

“What if I get it? Give me tonight to get the video.”

Taj shakes his head, and I look at him, hoping he will give me this.

He stops.

“Get it. Then I plan to fucking kill her for good this time.” He walks to the door. My legs are shaking and are almost ready to give out on me. “She loved you, that was the problem you had with her, she loved you. But you loved him. She told you that night. That’s what you need to remember. He heard it all, and he didn’t defend you. He chooses her in the end, but I think you knew that, didn’t you?”

I nod my head. I do. I do know that.

A tear drips down my face as I watch him walk out, shutting the door behind him. My legs finally give out on me, and I hit the floor. My neck is sore, and my mind is weak right now.

Maybe I should have gotten on that plane.

Maybe I should have taken off as I had planned.

Maybe then none of this would have happened.

Fuck. My. Life.

A knock comes on the door while my face lies on the black tiles, my heart still hammering hard in my chest as I wait for the knocking to go away.

“Room service,” is called out, but I still don’t move. I don’t move until I know what I plan to do. I don’t move until I remember every damn detail from that night. I need to remember it.

My body was being carried, my eyes were heavy. Opening them, I saw Taj standing next to Toska while I lay in Syler’s arms. It was blurry, but I could always tell it was him. His smell was what I sensed first.

My hand moved, and he placed me down. The ground felt dirty. My hands felt cold. He brushed my hair away from my face then I felt him go. He was no longer next to me, his warmth wasn’t near me. My body didn’t shiver, but I could feel the cold nipping at my skin.

Then I felt hands on me. My clothes were being pulled from my body.

“You had to make me, didn’t you?” she whispered to me.

“What are you doing, Toska?” It was Taj’s voice coming from not far away from where my body was lying.

“Just leave, I’ll catch up later.”

“Give me the fucking tape, Toska, or I’ll swear I’ll leave you next to her.”

“It’s on the passenger seat.”

I heard his footsteps walking away, and I tried to open my eyes, but they did nothing.

“He doesn’t know I have another copy, but we don’t need to tell him that. Do we? I’ll keep that puppy for another time.” She laughed at her own words and pulled my clothes from my body, leaving me completely naked and freezing cold. “I loved you, did you know that? We could have been so good together.” She moved, and I felt my shoes being pulled off my feet.

“You picked the wrong Hunter. You shouldn’t have even looked at him the way you did. I brought you into it all, so you should have wanted me.”

I felt her disappear from touching me. I wanted to yell at her for being so stupid. Why would I pick her? I didn’t even want to pick her brother. Yet, somehow, along the way, I fell in love with him.

“And Taj, you don’t know him. But he, well... he wouldn’t even pick me. Can you believe that? So I recorded him dealing in drugs. Nothing as major as he has on me, but he likes to keep his hands as clean as possible, and a video is anything but clean. I told him I was going to pass it to your father. Oh yeah... we all know about Stephen. He investigates all those crimes we carry out. I watch him sometimes to see if he knows. I even planted your hair at the last crime scene. Somehow, though, you never got arrested. Guess he probably covered for you...”

She kicked some water, and it landed on my already cold body.

“It kind of takes my fun away when I do that. It was the smartest and the stupidest thing I did, bringing you in.”

I heard a rustle of footsteps, then I heard her in my ear, her breath on my face.

“I’ll be back tomorrow. If you do manage to wake up, kill yourself, it will be easier for him. Or, alternatively, I will do it when I return. Either way’s fine. You won’t have him any longer.”

Syler’s voice was the last thing I heard, but I couldn’t make out the words as I drifted off again.