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Can't Forget: If she can't forget her past, she won't have a future. (Solum Series Book 2) by Colleen S. Myers (10)


Eleven

Over the next three months, Marin continued to support me, he rubbed my lower back when I whined, and proved to me why he was my choice, even if he was an ass sometimes. He never asked about the mating bands, but I knew he searched for their hiding place.

I had baby clothes made. Hana even threw a few stitches. The child wasn’t born yet, but it had a full set of leathers in every color, unisex of course. Lara’s father made him a teething ring, somewhat ingenious. They took the rubber leather, made a tube and filled it with liquid. The baby could chew on it or swing it around without harm.

Ute carved a crib. Torrin, Gia’s father, made a mobile. Apparently, he was a master whittler.

The gifts kept pouring in every day. On average, there was a birth a year so the mother could expect to be smothered with love during pregnancy. This year, I was the fifth pregnancy. A virtual population surge.

The attention I could deal with, but all the advice. Wow. It nigh on killed me to keep quiet. They all meant well. Their excitement for me was palpable. And this was the first time I ever felt like I belonged with the Fost, that I’d found my place.

Finn popped in multiple times. He made a basinet for the child and had more clothes made. His visits were strictly supervised by Marin, of course, but were more frequent than before. He apologized the first time he saw me for how he acted that day in the snow. I didn’t think he meant it. Pride and possession still glowed in his eyes when he glanced at me.

The baby brought Zanth out of his shell. He relished the idea of being an uncle. He read even more books than I did on childbirth and babies. He wanted to be the one to catch the baby but, well, eww.

One of the midwives from Clan Forik would deliver my child. The plans were all in place. The nursery was ready and I still had three months to go. It was right around this time that I started to show.

I’d been here over half a year. I couldn’t believe it. The baby was a lively little anteater. His favorite activity in the whole wide world was “kick the bladder.” He loved that game. Me, not so much. I was certain it was a boy.

“What about names?” I asked Marin one morning while I ate some gruel. Yay, for gruel.

“What do you like?”

Hmm. “How about Zack for a boy maybe, after my father? Or Accia after yours.”

“Not my father,” he said automatically.

Neither of us had the best parental units. And if I were honest, I didn’t want to name the baby after my dad as well. Well then. “Why don’t we let the baby choose?”

“What?” He raised his eye brows.

“You ever look at a baby and thought, ‘That doesn’t look like a so and so.’ Why don’t we wait to see what the baby looks like?” But no Bertha or Bubba’s, that was mean. “What about a girl?”

“Hope,” Marin replied without hesitation.

“Hope. I like it.” Hope.

“Can we make the girl’s middle name Mary after my mother?”

“Middle name?” Marin asked.

 “Do you have those here?”

“Not that I am aware of,” he said.

“Huh. I get to set a trend.”

Marin leveled his gaze at me. I grinned and leaned over to kiss his nose.

One good thing, since I became pregnant there were no more dreams of the E’mani, but my past wouldn’t let me go. I remembered home.

Godsmack, Keep Away, filtered through the garage. Oldie but goodie. I think my dad was working on his car, but I was afraid to ask. It was better to avoid him these days. He had this closed expression on his face and he and my mom were fighting something fierce.

He slammed tools around. A metal nut rolled across the floor as I walked in. Zachary Camden has his head buried under the hood of a souped up Pontiac Firebird.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Hi, darling.” A hint of a Southern twang coated his words even though he hadn’t lived there for over a decade.

“Did you need help?”

“No, I’m okay. Plus you’re no good at this stuff anyway.” Such casual words to cut so.

“Well, I could hold stuff.”

He lifted his head and grinned at me. “It’s all right, Beta. Did you need something? Want some money?”

I bristled. “Just saying hello. Jesus, Dad.”

I stalked off and didn’t turn back at his tired, “Elizabeth.”

That was right before he left and found himself another family.

My mom’s face.

Mom sat alone at the kitchen table holding a note. The paper she held quivered and her face was slack. As soon as she saw me, she dropped the note and placed her hands flat on the table.

“Hey Mom.” I kissed her on the cheek before turning toward my room.

“Elizabeth, wait.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know how to tell you this so I am just going to say it. Your dad left.”

“He what?”

“He left.”

“He left to go where?”

“He…We haven’t been getting along well lately and well, he thinks it best if we went our separate ways.”

“Wait, you’re divorcing?”

She nodded. “I guess so.”

To this day, I still didn’t understand. I knew what the note said, but it was bullshit. What kind of father would leave his own child? When I ended up with a half-brother six months later, I had my answer. Marin would never do that to me. It was time.

 That night, I wiggled out of bed and went to retrieve the bands. It was so cold outside, the ground hard, it took a bit of digging. Since I was pregnant, I hesitated to use my magic. Marin told me that using the magic wouldn’t hurt the baby but I still was afraid. In a minute, I cradled the box in my hand. I lifted the lid. The bands shone copper in the night. No moons here. A few bright stars filled the night sky.

The female band called out to me. The clasp popped open when I touched the surface. As I placed it around my wrist, the band closed with a light click and tightened on my forearm. A wave of rightness washed through me. Marin would never leave me, no matter what.

When I returned to bed, I put the male band on the pillow right in front of Marin’s face. I rolled onto my side and kept my arm outside the covers so when he woke up he saw me wearing the bracelet.

~ * ~

The next morning, Marin’s mouth drifted over mine, his tongue slipped along my lower lip. I mumbled and reached out to pull him down. My hands met empty air and I opened my eyes. His smile blinded me. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” He was wearing my band. My heart thumped hard, once. Huh. More nervous than I thought.

“Mine.” he said while running his hand down my face.

I heard it in my heart and in my head. “Yours,” I replied.

I reached out my hand, but he was already almost out the door. “Wait. That’s it? Where are you going?”

“Planning the mating ceremony, this is just what we need right now.”

“Marin.”

He popped back a second later. “What?”

I held my arms out. “That is somewhat anticlimactic.”

He launched himself across the room onto the bed, his body pressing me back. “I love you. You have made me the happiest man, but I have to plan. Tonight, we will celebrate.”

His smile said it all. He took off. I scuttled about getting dressed and followed him downstairs a few minutes later.

Marin already had Zanth in the meeting room along with Ute and a lady from Clan Hazern.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

Zanth covered up what he was writing and Marin grinned at me.

“Your mating, missy,” Ute said.

I stuck my hands on my hips at this and tapped my foot. “Do I have no say in it?”

Marin laughed out loud “Like you want any say in it. Let me plan it all. I have had some ideas for a while now.”

Of course he did, he always had a plan. I shrugged. “Okay.”

Clearly no one in the room expected that answer given the slack jaws, but Marin knew me well. I’d show up and he could do the rest. I exited and contemplated putting on my gear and heading to Hana’s. I hadn’t seen her in a while and I missed my BFF. But there was still snow on the ground and that meant it was cold outside. Decisions, decisions.

The door opened a second later on a frigid breeze. Speak of the devil.

Hana scooted in and shut the door. She looked like a giant punk popsicle with her spiked pink pixie cut covered in snow. Her petite frame was nearly swallowed by her large jacket.

Hana squealed when she noted my mating bands. “Mated. Or soon will be. I am so excited.”

She skidded to me, wet coat and all. We bounced up and down in the hallway.

“Be my maid of honor?” Wait, do they have those here?

“What is that?”

“My best friend to stand up for me.”

Hana’s eyes shone with tears and a happy grin was plastered her face. “Yes, oh yes. We have so much to do.”

I waved my hand. “Marin has got it all covered.”

She scoffed. “The boy part, the party. I mean the dress, the clothes, the hair. I cannot wait. Let us go look at what Thera can make.”

“Who is Thera?”

“The main designer,” Hana said while she handed me my jacket.

That made me giggle. “You have designers here?”

“Of course, she makes all the clothes. This is going to be great.” Hana buttoned her coat and smoothed the fabric.

“Wait, clothes? Don’t I wear a white dress?”

Hana held up three fingers. “You wear three dresses. And they can be any color you want.”

I groaned and stumbled against the wall. “Three? Why three?”

“You do not change?”

“Um no.”

“This will be fun. The Fost mating ceremony is a daylong affair. At first, you will be in your regular clothes. You and Marin will spend the morning welcoming guests who come for breakfast and to give greeting. The female’s relatives take care of the morning meal and festivities. But in this case, the entire ceremony will be conducted here. There are several events in the morning after the meal. Usually games for families and children to play. You two spend this time interacting with everyone separately, but aware of each other the whole time. Lots of food and drink.” Hana clapped her hands together.

So far this didn’t sound that fun to me, a whole day on my feet. Oy.

“After the morning games, lunch is served. This you do together, you should be affectionate to your intended mate. We like to see some action.” Hana winked. “The time between lunch and dinner represents your courtship. All the men will complete in games and the groom’s family rewards the winners. It demonstrates prowess and the groom is expected to win or bribe the other men to win.”

I blinked. “The guys fight?”

“Yes. It is quite exciting. After the competition is the ceremony, for this, you are in the traditional gown of the Fost and this is when you clasp hands and declare yourselves to each other. The rest of the night is spent in drinks and celebration. The couple leaves to go and create exactly what you have here.” She grinned then rubbed my belly. I felt like Buddha. “We are doubly blessed this year.”

“No wonder he wanted to take care of everything. It sounds complicated,” I said.

“Oh, he will not do it. He will delegate all the festivities. He is good at that.” Hana hesitated. “Does Finn know?”

“Not yet.” My shoulders drooped at this. Finn wouldn’t take the news well.

“It will all work out,” she said, noticing my expression. “It is meant to be and it makes the Fost stronger. He will understand.”

Hana sounded like she knew. I felt a pang and remembered the first time I saw them together, his dark head bent over hers. They fit. “So you and he?”

“Eww, no. I told you, Finn is like my brother.” But Hana evaded my eyes.

Hmm. “Who?”

“Who said there was anybody?”

I jabbed my finger at her. “You just did.”

“I did not.”

“You did too.”

Hana snickered as she scuttled away. “Wait and see. I have high hopes for him.”

“Jace?” Finally, the dude made a move.

Her smiled faded at that “No, he has never expressed interest.”

This time I snorted. “Never expressed interest? Every time you enter the room he comes to attention. He watches you like a hawk. He worships the ground you walk on.”

“Be that as it may, he has never approached me for anything. I will not waste my time on a coward.” My eyebrows winged up. Okay then.

“Well then, who?”

Hana waved her finger under my nose. “No.”

“Do not mess with the pregnant lady.” I pointed to my stomach. “You will upset the baby.”

She blushed. “You know him.”

“Who?”

“Edd of Tern.”

I blanked. “Umm, I don’t remember what he looks like.” I grunted when she poked me.

“He is quite handsome and... well endowed,” Hana elaborated with a leer.

“TMI!” I laughed.

“What does that mean?”

“It means you told me too much.”

Hana winked. “Ha.”

I hugged her. “Thank you for this.”

“You may regret this as it gets closer,” she replied “This is going to be a big deal. So, when are we doing this?”

“Uh.”

Hana laughed and went to ask Marin while I bundled up. When she returned, she declared. “Two weeks. Now let’s head to Thera’s.”

I gulped. Two weeks. Holy shit, that was quick. My heart raced, excitement bubbling through my veins. I poked my head into Marin’s meeting room. He was deep in conversation. All I heard was “flowers” and ran.

We got to Thera’s house. Jace and Bob followed. Jace kept trying to get Hana alone, but she was having none of that. They must have had a serious falling out.

I’d met Thera before, I remembered now. I’d thought her name was Mary mostly because she reminded me of my mom with her graying brown hair and welcoming demeanor. She was a little shorter than me and well-muscled.

As soon as I got there, Thera had me strip. Most of my dresses would have to be loose and billowy. Great, I was getting married in a muumuu. I remembered my first day here when Lara took similar measurements. The homoerotic vibe of that encounter was missing, but not by much. Hana kept bopping in and out as I stood there naked with my arms out, letting Thera measure me.

The little one started kicking midway through the fitting. I always thought a baby kicking looked like the scene from Alien where the monster popped out of the guy’s chest, but Thera loved it. She couldn’t stop exclaiming over him.

 Once she finished the measurements, we left and returned home. Hana took off on a burst of laughter to get my gear organized. Marin was nowhere to be found. So still in my jacket, I wandered to my thinking spot in the enclosed garden behind the house. Spring poked its head through the snow. Occasional patches of green snuck through its wintery covering. I heard dripping from the ice melting on the roof.

Finn waited for me on the bench outside.

 

 

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