It had been ten days since he’d voluntarily touched me. Plain old brushing and touching had become nonexistent. Ever since that one night I came onto him while playing the piano, any form of physical contact—be it touching his arm, kissing his cheek, trying to seduce him—had all been initiated by me.

Did I have a massive sign stating I had the Ebola virus or something? Because River certainly looked at me as if he’d learned a secret that I’m some dormant carrier of the deadly disease.

I had tried to approach the subject, but he’d been tight-lipped since that night we’d had the most mind-blowing sex on top of the piano.

Pretty much, I had driven myself crazy by wondering what the mystery answer was.

To top off my already amazing situation, I was a woman on an island, surrounded by people who kept me at arm’s length. The only person treating me without any malice was Arush. But apart from him, Willa—even Phoenix at times—had been colder than the Arctic. Phoenix and Rock, I understood their side since they were River’s friends. But Willa? Hers was purely done with jealousy. I’d never seen her so clingy, so protective, and so helplessly in love with her boss. Working for him definitely heightened and worsened her unrequited obsession with River.

Every time River came into the room, crazy eyes happened. It was like a switch. The poor woman lit up brighter than a Christmas tree when River was around. Not welcoming me with open arms or even with fake enthusiasm was for the best.

Playing nice with her always felt like pulling teeth, anyway. By giving me the cold shoulder, she saved us both from pretending to like each other. Besides, the less I interacted with her, the better my day went. However, since River intentionally dined with his gang every single night, I had to tolerate her energy influencing mine from a few chairs down. It didn’t help that whenever I was within earshot, the bitch would always talk about how “psyched” she was to see Petra joining us in Coachella.

“Psyched” probably would be a stretch since she was harboring her own secret hankerings for River. And seeing that Petra could be with River whenever she wanted, I was sure it ticked Willa off. But since I was currently in the picture, joining up arms with the enemy to fight off the biggest threat—ahem, insert me—was the wisest thing to do.

Apart from sex, they had little to worry about. This life—River and everything else he came with—I was so over it. This was my past. I’d made a decision to leave it all behind me, and I’d successfully done so. I intended to keep it that way.

But, lately, with River so far from reach mentally and physically, it made me more…needy, perhaps? It didn’t mean I was in love with the guy. Far from it. But how could he fuck me to the center of the earth one night then refuse to touch me the next? I was left reeling, bereft, and baffled. What man would do such a thing?

At first, I thought it didn’t make sense. I tried countlessly to entice him to come to me, to come to my bed, to fuck me whenever and wherever he desired, but he would always have some stupid excuse. He had to practice, his trainer was waiting, he was tuning his guitar, he was running late, had to pen a few lines—WTF! The list was endless. Heck, I even tried to do it his way. I got on my knees, ready to blow him off just so he could fuck me again, but the man was unyielding. Demanding answers as to why he was purposely rejecting me time and time again had been asked in vain. Then one night, it all became clear to me … He’d found more Dulce’s to entertain him.

This didn’t sit well with me. I blew a gasket.

Obviously.

What reasonable woman wouldn’t?

I was beyond enraged and was ready to pounce on those bitches who’d claimed him for the night, but thank God I didn’t succumb to becoming a full-blown idiot. Could you imagine what Willa would’ve done? She’d probably have it on video just so she could savor her so-called victory.

Each time the urge to go bonkers was about to take hold of me, I thought of Willa and her little smirk, and my temper slightly dissipated. It was all a matter of perspective really. Willa or take on River … Obviously, I’d never let Willa have her little victory dance; however, imagining what River’s priceless reaction would be was almost worth it.

Crazy antics aside, it wasn’t my place to complain, which led me to wonder why I hadn’t established it as one of my solid rules in the first place. Stupid me was too busy all up in my ass ensuring I kept him on his toes, barraging him with whatever rules I could come up with so sex wouldn’t be as intimate as it used to be. Yes, sex wasn’t as intimate or as affectionate compared to before, but it didn’t change the fact that sex with my ex had never been better. In fact, it was the best yet. It was so, so fucking good I was begging the man to touch me.

Implementing rules in the middle of the arrangement was unheard of. Besides, he was barely speaking to me. Did I dare push him further? Well, it was too late to demand exclusivity, and I had no one to blame but myself. I had made my bed, so I must endure seeing him flaunt his bullshit until this was over.

Had his sex game gone dull and monotonous, I wouldn’t even bother. But just my luck, the stud was so unbelievably amazing I could officially declare my pussy got high whenever I got a whiff of him.

Damn. Had I turned into a Willa 2.0?

Fuck me.

Seeing my apparent distress made my arch enemy giddy with joy. She’d wear an idiotic smirk every time River came back with a new woman hanging off his arm, while I’d end up steaming in annoyance. Sometimes quietly, but most of the time, not so much.

But even more so, I’d never felt so unwanted in my entire adult life.

What had happened to the guy who couldn’t refuse my body?

River had always…

ALWAYS…

Wanted me.

Since the beginning of time.

Now, all of a sudden, after rocking my world, he found other women much more appealing? What the fuck? I didn’t get it. I knew River felt the palpable chemistry between us. Each time he touched me, every time he was inside of me, the lust—the maddening chemistry—grew bigger, brighter. It had affected us both. I mean, had it been only me feeling this way, it wouldn’t be as potent.

The wild savage look he had each time he plunged into my body was so stormy it still affected me greatly. I could easily picture him growling like a vicious animal, possessing me in every way, trying with all his might to satiate a perpetual hunger.

He couldn’t get enough, just like I felt for him. As a result, for him to run hot then cold in less than eight hours after that memorable night confused the hell out of me.

At first, I imagined he aimed to just fuck with my head after what I’d done to Dulce, but as he continued down the same road every night, I knew it was serious. River Ellis had gotten over me … sex-wise.

If a once in love man got over you, he moved on, sure … but he’d rarely turn down an opportunity for a quick romp. Yet with River, he had gotten over me on both fronts, which was … well, unexpected. The loving part, I understood. But the sex part? It just didn’t add up. Before Hong Kong, Everett, and Dulce happened, I could’ve sworn he wasn’t even going to see other women. The way he looked at me—all too consuming, as if he saw no one else but me—I knew that look too well. But I guess my confidence was misplaced.

Could he see what his indifference was doing to me? Did he not care I was beginning to become self-conscious to the point where I began to compare myself to one of the women he flirted with?

I despised myself for caring. I loathed it so fucking much. But it couldn’t’ change the bare fact that I did care. It pained me to ache for his touch when he obviously found me less compelling, less attractive to quench his physical needs.

In all our history together, I thought this was the longest time we’d been around each other and had not been intimate. He used to love touching me—kissing my forehead, squeezing the side of my hip, my thighs … Any excuse to touch me, he would. He couldn’t resist it. He couldn’t resist me. I was his addiction; he’d said as much. Even when he’d tried to win me back when I was with Parker, or even in Sweden … River never went cold turkey on me. Never.

Things had obviously changed, and there was nothing to be done but to accept my current situation.

As hard as it was, I succeeded to appear as though I had curbed my yearning. Gradually, I stopped reaching out to him, too.

It saved what little pride I had left, which wasn’t much at this point.

The only thing saving my sanity was the knowledge that I was leaving for Toronto soon to shoot the third season of Clover. Sure, my screen time wasn’t as packed as the others since Addison wanted my schedule to be available to take on the role of Ace. The second movie was yet to be secured, so fingers crossed.

But at times, like right this instant, the man sat across from me, appearing deep in thought with his brows buried in his forehead while his right thumb moved, as if he was imagining he was strumming a song. It was these silent moments when I itched to touch him. Most of the time, he’d catch my lingering gazes, and those dark accusing eyes never failed to erase the illusion.

And he did just that again, shutting me down with one of those cutting looks I was beginning to know so well.

Still, the rebel in me couldn’t look away. He could send me all the death stares he liked, but my eyes were harmless. However, a tiny part of me flickered, hoping this weekend he’d change his mind and seek me out to end this sexless drought he’d punished me with.

The likely scenario would be the same old, same old, and if he remained a total dick-wad—well, it was his loss.

Kells and Anton wouldn’t be able to join. Kells and Phoenix apparently were on a break, and with Anton busy with his new show as one of the writers, I was basically on my own with no friends to boost my ebbing confidence.

I needed a mad reboot to rescue some pride back. I was desperate for a change, even for a short time. A new set of energy to surround myself with … anything to feel sane, to feel like a woman again.

With Juan hounding me and River’s incessant rejection, I wanted refuge. A simple hug. A friendly smile. Anything that was the opposite of hostile, I was willing to take.

The sprawling mansion in Palm Springs we were staying in for the weekend was so massive I doubted I’d get to see River at all.

It had a studio, a gym, and even an air-conditioned basketball court. The main house, which had eight bedrooms, was sitting empty except for the two occupied ones. Mine being one, and the other being River’s. And I could bet my entire savings this man would hardly be sleeping here. So why the fuck did he choose this enormous mcmansion when there’d be only me enjoying my company? Was this his blatant way to properly emphasize how much he wanted to distance himself from me? If it was, he could’ve saved himself the trouble. I wasn’t born yesterday. I got the message loud and clear.

His friends and some of the crew stayed in the little two-bedroom villas around the property, Willa and Petra included. The villas and the main house were only separated by this long stretch of a golf course.

To me, it wasn’t far enough away from his harem. River would be expected to do what rock stars do around these festivals. He’d be preoccupied with partying with his boys and his flavor of the night, so whatever.

I would find my own way around. Besides, this was freaking Coachella. Most of young Hollywood would be here, tuning in for the fun. So, I suppose this weekend wouldn’t be as depressing as previously imagined.

* * *

“Aren’t you going to invite me to wherever you’re going?”

I stopped him dead in his tracks. River was about to go out the door when I caught him just in time. I stood on top of the stairs’ landing, looking below, dressed in my electric blue micro mini dress.

We’d arrived less than an hour ago. River’s hair was still wet from the shower, and he was in a hurry to get somewhere. Was it to see Petra? Maybe so. Dressed in jeans and a black wife beater, he looked like a ten-course dessert. My mouth watered, and my pussy clenched upon gazing down at him. I wanted him so badly I ached within.

“I’m going to chill with the guys. You’re more than welcome to come. It’s the second villa to the left. El Mariposa.”

He wasn’t necessarily welcoming, but nor did he show any enthusiasm. He might as well recite the back of a cereal box; maybe he’d show more excitement then.

I no longer tempted him, so I supposed getting out of the way would do us both the world. “Will you need me tonight?”

He continued with a blank expression. “For?”

“For?” I laughed. “Well, I don’t know, River. Let see … I could be the bullseye for your dartboard. Or to stare holes in. Or maybe you’d change your mind and decide to fuck me since you haven’t touched me in forever! Oh, wait … you flew in Petra for that, too, so I guess my schedule’s free, right? So, can I go out tonight, Your Highness? Or am I stuck counting hair in this soulless display of wealth that you call home for the weekend?”

The blank face persisted. “You’re more than welcome to do as you wish, Cara. If being here makes you so unhappy, LA’s less than two hours’ drive away. I can have a car ready for you anytime you like.”

And be bombarded with a ten million dollar fee? Right. “Fuck you, River.”

“Anytime,” he quipped back.

I blew a gasket. “We both know that’s a fucking lie! I can’t fuck you anytime, now can I? You wouldn’t touch me even if I’m the last woman on earth! So, screw you for insulting me!”

“I have to practice for my show tomorrow, Cara.” He made a remorseful sigh but remained unapologetic. “If you don’t have anything else to yell at me for, am I allowed to go now?”

My lips quivered. I wanted to blow up and fucking kill him on the spot. He was totally over me. Wildly staring at him, I felt all sorts of confused. The only certain thought that remained was I wanted him. Now. Right now. On me. In me.

Jesus, when had I ever been this needy? He didn’t want me. Why couldn’t I just get over that fact? Why was it so hard? Why couldn’t I just let him walk out the door? Why, oh the fuck why did I have to stop him? This was disgusting. I was disgusting.

Instead of answering him, I hastily ran back into my room. If I had to look at his blank expression one more second, I’d be willing to commit murder.

I couldn’t fathom it … to be so undesirable. To be discarded … yet again. The very thing I was afraid of happening … happened again.

It had to be me. I was probably emitting some frequency to the universe, attracting all the unfortunate events.

Why couldn’t I catch a break? All my life, I had to fight. From the moment I’d been born, I’d had to fight my way through everything. Why couldn’t I have a year without having to put up a fight? Yes, I was grateful for the opportunities fighting served me, but I felt as though I was running out of gas. My engine had become rusty. My interior was deteriorating. How long must I go on until a full-scale breakdown came knocking on my doorstep?

I felt so weak. So feeble. So fragile. River’s incessant rejection broke me down. Slowly, progressively, it chipped away at my armor until I was left exposed, unprotected.

Tears ensued. Big. Fat. Ugly. Motherfucking tears. I didn’t have the wherewithal to hide them, so I let them flow freely as I rummaged through my luggage.

Tonight, I needed a wowza number, and it wouldn’t be for River’s benefit. There were tons of parties held by celebrities, record labels, and artists everywhere. And you could bet your ass I was going to be in it, looking like the queen of Sheba or something along those lines.

I was done being pushed aside. River and his stupid blank face could suck it.

I may be beaten down and definitely out of my element, but I’d be damned if I looked anything except stunning. If I had to go down, I’d do it looking like the Queen of Sheba.

* * *

By the time the clock turned six that evening, I was out the door. Tried as I might, I couldn’t forget River’s idiotic blasé expression. Yet determination fueled my blood.

I was going to have fun even if it killed me. Even if it was the last thing I did.

No more tears. I’d shed enough for River to last a lifetime. He deserved not a drop more.

The driver hired specifically to take me places was this toothy Algerian man named Basem. He talked as if he was rapping. We hit it right off. How could we not? Happy people were my people.

My first stop was Kyle Matthews’s very own party. His rented mcmansion was a mile away, so Basem didn’t have to drive me far.

Ever since the romance fizzled between us, Kyle had been one of my greatest friends. Sure, we didn’t normally keep in touch the way I did with Anton and Kells, but he was one of those friends who would be there for me no matter what. I was glad our relationship blossomed into something solid, and even though he had no idea I was back in River’s life, seeing a friendly face tonight meant the world to me.

“Cara! Just checking if you still look like a centerfold model, and yep! She definitely does! I guess nothing’s changed on your side of things.” Kyle greeted me with a massive hug before picking me up and twirling me. “God, it’s good to see you!”

He was obviously drunk, but it didn’t stop us from laughing our asses off. “Man, had I known you’d be this happy to see me, I’d have come sooner.” Kissing his cheek, I was grinning from ear to ear as he placed me back on the ground.

“You’ve been so busy lately it’s hard to catch up with you.” His eyes danced as he looked at my face, appreciative. “The party’s out back, but we’re all leaving in an hour to catch one of my bands play. You can come with if you’re into the whole music scene. I know most of the people come for the parties and the highlights.”

Parties went on all weekend nonstop. I could only guess how these people got down and dirty. And maybe I’d get to have a taste of that, too, but with people who didn’t know me well. Doing that around Kyle was definitely out of the question. This guy could barrel around any man who’d be interested in me. He knew what I’d gone through—not the entire story obviously, but the gist of it. I admired him for looking at me like as if I was a real person and not some broken woman he needed to help or piece together. He accepted me, broken and marred, without asking for any sort of explanation. His friendship had gotten me through some of the toughest of times, even though he had no clue at the time. He was a good man, and I cherished him all the more for being such.

“You go right ahead, lover boy.” I playfully punched him in the arm. “You’ll be too busy with the ladies, anyway. I don’t wanna get in the way. Besides, I’m just dropping in. I have another party to scope out in a little bit, so no worries.”

He winked. “All right, all right. Whatever you say. I’m just a call away if you need me to rescue you.”

He was a sweetheart and a sex pistol in one. A rare find in this part of the world.

If he wasn’t such a dear friend, I might have another go at him once this thing with River ended. But alas, I couldn’t go back and turn the clock on my relationship with Kyle. That boat had sailed into the sunset, never to be seen again. The next woman he fell for certainly was one lucky lady.

If only I could free myself of River and Juan, maybe I’d have a chance to find happiness, too.

If only …

Wishful thinking aside, the party scene was all I needed to distract me from the turmoil within. Kyle’s shindig was the typical scene: booze, coke, flighty people, grunge folks, emo folks, me-myself-and-I narcissists, actors here and there, musicians—a boatload of musicians everywhere and their obnoxious kiss-assers and pussy posse. Hangers-on in layman terms.

After Kyle left to go to the festival, I went on to the next party on my list. It was Justin’s Scott’s. His invitation via text message was one of the unread ones I decided to open this morning. He’d been coming on to me during the filming of Death Dealer, but I knew better than to mess around with someone on set. I’d seen enough of that kind of drama behind the scenes of Clover. It was the kind of drama I could do without.

The vindictive side of me wanted to do something crazy to get back at River for ignoring me. But I realized just before entering Justin Scott’s weekend rental home that the only person I was going to end up hurting was myself. River couldn’t care less what I did. In his eyes, I was engaged to Everett. Maybe it was one of the major reasons his dick hadn’t responded to me the way it used to do. Was it because he saw me as unavailable?

But it was all a joke. How could he not grasp that? Yes, Everett’s intentions were sweet, and I even found it endearing. But at the end of the day, it was just a damn stupid joke. We were all on vacation, drunk silly, and all out to have fun. So, why did River not see it as one?

And as for Dulce … Okay, what I did was a little fucked-up. But in my defense, back then, I thought River and I were sexually exclusive. Sure, the ass didn’t declare as much, but I figured I’d be enough for him, a sentiment that greatly bit me in the ass big time.

If I reached out to River for the last time—I mean, properly voiced my side of things—would I be able to reach him? Or had I pushed him so far this whole thing was definitely irreversible?

Wondering about the what ifs wasn’t going to solve things. There was only one way to find out, and that was to go straight to the source, the man himself.

Basem didn’t even take a pause when I hastily asked if he could take me back home. The good man drove me back at such a speedy rate I barely blinked, and I was back to the house.

Wishing him a good evening after leaving him a generous tip, instead of heading straight into the main house, I took the scenic route by the golf course, a wide stony pathway lit with torches and palm trees with oversized fronds on both sides leading to the dozen villas on the property.

The stifling desert night did little to help ease the heaviness in my chest as I began to steadily pace myself on the trail.

The pathway began to widen farther, and a few steps more, another connecting route opened with a massive boulder sitting on the side with El Paraiso etched in the middle.

Passing the first villa, I saw there were about two dozen people littered around the place. None of them I remembered or recalled being in the crew. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were some random people they’d invited over while checking out the festival earlier this afternoon. As long as everyone was having fun, I supposed … whatever.

Shrugging, I kept on course.

El Mariposa. The second villa to the left.

Right.

It didn’t take long to find myself standing across from the villa. This place was so packed people were partying on the golf course lawn. People were sending me curious gazes, probably due to the unmistakable frown on my face. How the heck did I find River amongst the sea of people? More to the point, this was his idea of ‘practicing’ for the show tomorrow? Right. Oh, fucking right.

My little micro dress felt out of place surrounded by women dressed in short shorts up in their cracks and barely-there skirts. I could even see a good unshaven bush as she bent over while she scored some coke. Some dropped the pretense and just went straight to bra and a thong. Gotta give the chick some credit. At least she was honest.

“Damn,” I muttered under my breath as I overwhelmingly scanned the place. My frown deepened.

Someone tapped my shoulder. “Cara, right?”

“Yes …” My voice trailed off as I faced the guy with dreadlocks and a glazed look. Did I know him? And what was that on his nose? Was it a bunch of freckles or sunburnt skin? I couldn’t be sure. It was too dark out here to figure it out.

“I’m Jason. I work with lighting. We haven’t met.” He introduced himself with a lazy smile.

“Oh, hello, Jason …” Could I be any more awkward? “Uh, do you happen to know if River’s around here? “He said something about practice … but yeah, I guess it ended…”

He scratched the tip of his nose before cracking his neck. “They jammed some time ago. He and his bud left to party a few villas down.”

A few villas down. Uh, I needed more than that. “Do you happen to know which one specifically?” There were eleven to go through. Pinpointing the location would be a huge help.

He shook his head, sniffing. “Can’t help with that, sorry.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll try calling him …” I said as I fished my phone out of the tiny gold purse. “Thank again, Jason.”

Neck-cracking Jason threw me a winning smile before disappearing into the crowd. Glancing down at my phone as I bit down on my lip, I began to wonder if it was worth it to even bother calling him. River wouldn’t take it, anyway. Not with the way he’d been behaving lately.

I wasn’t a priority. Besides, he’s probably with Petra…

BUT.

Damn the but!

What if he’s chilling with Phoenix and the boys, drinking and playing their guitars?

The possibility of this happening wasn’t so far-fetched, either. So…

Should I stay …

Or should I scour the villas?

River never made things easy, did he? Ugh. All right, scour it is, then.

“Okay, whatever,” I mumbled as I retraced my steps back to the torch-lit pathway, trekking to the next one.

The third villa was a dud. The fourth a complete fiasco. The fifth one, however, I finally found someone I knew.

Finally, a speck of light in this damned dark tunnel. The light came in the form of a man named Phoenix. Who happened to be standing over a human-size bong in the shape of a woman and her very exaggerated enlarged bosoms. The man was lit to the hundredth power.

Could I even get something substantial out of someone who was flying high as a kite?

It was the only shot I had, so might as well.

Stepping into the rocky land of loose gravel and pebbles, I headed straight toward Phoenix and the A1 stoners surrounding him. He sure wasn’t wasting time pining for my friend, Kells. That was for damn sure.

“Phoenix?”

“Whaddup, chick chick.”

The guy could barely open his eyes. His smile, however, was the brightest and the biggest I’d ever seen him do. So, I guess that was something. “I’m looking for River. Do you know where he is?”

“River, River, River ... streaming down the River.” His laughter erupted along with the others. The hysterics didn’t stop until the fifth time he uttered the stupid words.

I’d never felt so out of my depth here. I knew I stood there, looking like a total loser since I was the soberest one in the desert valley, but hell, I just wanted to speak to River. Then I could carry on partying like the rest of them. Hopefully.

“Phoenix … Come on; stop messing around.” I was close to begging when some bright purple-haired girl took a break from sticking her tongue down another woman’s throat.

“He’s inside … second door. Left one,” she rapidly said before resuming tongue-twister.

He’s inside. Great. Time for the big reveal.

Letting out a choked sigh, I shot Phoenix a dirty look before whispering a quick thank you to the woman. She never heard me. No one did. They were too busy with their own thing to care.

Must be nice to forget about reality and submerge into another mental dimension. I could definitely use some … after dealing with River.

He could ignore all he liked afterward. I just felt it was high time I cleared the air with him. If my confession wouldn’t make a jot of difference, then there was nothing I could do about that. The ball was in his court.

Entering the hot, sweaty filled villa was a nightmare. Yes, the air-conditioning was on, but with the french doors wide open and people dancing around did little to help the roasting temperature. Breaking through the sea of sweaty folks so I could get to the other side of the room was a different experience entirely. I almost smashed into someone’s musky armpit for one—blech.

They really shouldn’t keep raising their arms as they danced. It was like a scene out of House of Horrors, only it was the House of Armpits. Hairy, smelly pits.

This night sure was getting better and better. I could imagine it would be the best it had ever been once I found River. Better yet, I could probably shove his nose in one of those wretched pits and make him smell the scent of success.

Well, I guess I could thank him for not bringing these people into the main house. The stank of horror they’d produce while I tried to get some sleep didn’t sit well with me.

Thank God for that.

After the sea of armpits and the endless waft of muskiness, I finally reached the other side of the island without barfing. I shrugged as I tried to forget the stench while headed straight into the hallway. The first door to the right was a bathroom. Another next to it was a bedroom. Surprisingly enough, it actually sat empty. Treading along, I opened the next door. The one on the left side, just as the purple-haired woman had said.

Oh, River was definitely there.

Standing in the middle of the room like a King with his serpents. Tall and naked, getting his ill-gotten sword polished by Willa as Petra kissed him while massaging his damned jewels.

I couldn’t move. I was frozen on the spot, shocked, and horrified at the scene playing in front of me.

Willa, the fucking bitch. How long had they’d been fucking around?

I saw red.

I saw white.

Then it all became red. Bloody. Red.

“You. Worthless. Piece of shit!” I screamed the house down as my hand impulsively scrambled for the nearest object, which happened to be a green vase, before throwing it into River’s chest. “All this time, you have me believing you’re not interested in this bitch!” Bellowing ensued as I plucked another object, a lamp. I yanked it so hard it got pulled out of the socket before chucking it straight at the happy trio. “You and your idiot dick can rot in hell!” I couldn’t look at Willa, Petra, or River. It was impossible to since my eyes were covered in tears.

My body shook as I bolted out of the room. I punched and pushed my way out of the dancing pit. I dared not breathe until I reached the outside. My knees almost buckled as I approached the main pathway, but I wouldn’t allow myself to be humiliated like this. Oh, I’d break down all right, but when no one was around. I never licked my wounds in public. It was one thing to feel weak, but another entirely to have people witness it.

No, weakened as I might be, I wouldn’t let Willa get the last laugh.

Fuck her.

Fuck him!

River and Willa.

Willa and River.

Those sons of bitches! How long had this been going on?

The question terrified me. The memories—the only good ones I had—they tainted it, too.

How could I have been so blind? How? How! Willa’s free pussy buffet since the beginning of time—of course he’d bite. What man wouldn’t? It was not as if they cared if her breasts were lopsided. A pussy was a pussy, and men loved to fuck pussy. Any pussy would do when mad, horny, drunk, high, or out of their minds.

They’d been close. It all made sense now—how River always cared for her, always protected her from me. Oh, she was good at playing the good girl card. He fell for it, so he fell for her, too?

Jesus.

From the eviscerating pain lacerating through me, penetrating into my soul, I could scarcely breathe. My lips wobbled as tears slid down my face. There were random people milling about, throwing me weird, questionable looks, but I couldn’t care less about what they thought of me.

I was in my own world of pain, and it threatened to destabilize the very core of me, the very heart of me … the only thing I had left. I could feel it, like a pressure cooker, simmering, boiling until it was about to explode, to shatter.

How could he do this to me? Had I hurt him so badly I’d inflicted the deadliest poison of all? Willa …

Wiping my tears away, I continued to retrace my steps back to the main house. Just as I passed the villa where I’d met Jason earlier, I heard someone calling out my name.

I walked faster.

“Cara! Let me explain.” His voice kept getting closer … and … closer. “Cara!”

I ran.

I dashed.

I zoomed out of there as if the hounds of hell were chasing me. I sprinted in my four-inch stilettos and white micro dress, hoping I’d outrun him as I darted toward the backyard of the main house. The selective lighting did little to help me find the back entrance to the house. And when I did manage to find a white door, I instantly yanked it open, only to find myself trapped in a dark empty space. It was so dark I couldn’t make out anything at all. Fuck. Just my luck.

All right. Breathe.

Just breathe…

My heart hammered deafeningly hard against my chest as I weighed my next move. Just as I was about to head back out the door, the lights turned on, flooding my eyes with blinding brightness.

Squinting, I had to gradually open my eyes as I adjusted my sight, only to find myself on a basketball court.

Great. Was there another exit? Preferably one leading to the house?

Then the door opened behind me. The wolf huffing and puffing his lungs as he halted his stride. “Cara.”

Cara.

That’s me. Oh, little ole me.

Me … He spoke to me, addressing his toy. His idiot. His stupid puppet. His sex doll. His damn prisoner.