My dragon was driving me crazy, insisting that I tell her how she should be mine. How things should be between us.

“She doesn’t want to hear that,” I whispered into the semi-dark.

The only thing illuminating my room was the light from the television. I was watching one of the old Die Hard movies, one of my favorite series. It got a little ridiculous toward the end, but the first few were great. In my opinion, at least.

I was hardly watching, however. Not that I needed to pay attention—I could practically recite the lines along with the actors. I was stretched out on the bed, arms folded behind my head, ruminating. A great pastime of mine, rumination. Sometimes there was nothing else to do. When all the books had been read, and the films watched until the thought of re-watching another of them made me want to scream, there was nothing left to do but think. Alone.

I was definitely alone. She was out there—she always let me know when she was leaving, even if it was close to midnight—but I might as well have been on the moon.

If only things hadn’t been so different on the first day. If she had walked into the lab a week earlier the cold, distant, distracted young chemist she had become, I wouldn’t have thought twice about her personal life. If that was who she was, so be it, to each their own. My instincts were sharp enough and my lifetime long enough to know when I was barking up the wrong tree.

Only that wasn’t who she was.

Something had happened. I couldn’t rest until I knew what it was. But gods, I had never known so stubborn a person. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, she was determined to keep her pain to herself. I wasn’t one to beg. I was more the type who threw things out of rage and frustration. And she was taking me there. How would she feel if I destroyed some of her precious equipment?

Who was she turning me into?

I flipped off the TV in disgust and tossed the control aside. It was then that I heard it. The soft sounds of crying.

I sat up, ears trained to the sound. It could only be coming from the lab. When I went to the closed door, the sound only grew louder.

She was crying. She would want me to leave her alone and let her cry in peace. She didn’t know me very well if she thought I would do anything like that.

I opened the door and stepped into the lab.

She sat with her back to me, slumped over the table, her laptop forgotten. She’d crossed her arms and rested her head on them. Her back and shoulder shook with the force of her brokenhearted sobs.

My dragon urged me forward. To tell her I’d help. That I’d protect her. Nothing in the world could’ve kept me away when I heard the pain and hopelessness pouring from her.

“Carissa.” I placed a hand on her back and almost recoiled at the feeling of her ribs, so prominent under the lab coat she always wore.

When had I last seen her eat? I glanced into the wastebasket beneath the table and saw nothing to indicate that she’d eaten all day. Only empty coffee cups. She was falling apart before my very eyes. It was time to stop being kind for the sake of protecting myself and the family, the project we were working on.

I pulled her up by her painfully thin shoulders and held her against my chest.

“I’m sorry!” she gasped, shaking from head to toe.

“It’s all right.” I held her tight, hoping some of my strength would comfort her.

“I shouldn’t be doing this. I didn’t want to do this in front of you.”

“I don’t want to see it, but only because I don’t want to think of you ever going through this sort of pain. Oh, Carissa, don’t you see? I’ve only ever wanted to help you. Having you here, so close to me, and being unable to do anything to make things better for you…”

“But you can’t make it better! You can’t! Nobody can!” Her tears soaked through my shirt and dampened my skin. Hot tears, full of heartache and hopelessness.

“There, there.” I smoothed golden hair back from her forehead and almost withdrew my hand in surprise when I felt the sweat on her brow. Her skin was hot to the touch. “Carissa, you’re not well.”

“I have to work…

“No, no. You have to rest. Please, listen to me. You’re going to kill yourself if you don’t take a break.”

She wriggled, trying to push me away. “No, you don’t understand. I have to work. I have to… get him back…”

She slumped in my arms before the thought was finished. I held her up. Her head fell back against the crook of my elbow, eyes closed, lips slightly parted.

“Cari? Cari.” I tapped her cheeks with my fingertips.

They were chalk white. But she was breathing. Just exhausted and overcome. I ran my fingers over the curve of her jaw and marveled at the downy feel of her skin. My dragon wanted more than just a slight touch.

She’s unconscious, I rebuked him, pushing him far down in my subconscious as I lifted her from her stool and carried her to the bed.

In another life, in another situation, I would be carrying her to the bed would share. And we wouldn’t be sleeping. But here, now, I wanted only for her to get some rest. And in the morning, when my food was delivered, I’d share my breakfast with her. She needed to rest and get her strength back.

And we needed to get to the center of what was happening to her.

I eased the lab coat from her shoulders and let it slide off, hitting the floor by the bed. Gods, she was a skeleton. In just a week, she’d lost so much weight. Like fear and stress were eating away at her, compounding the fact that she was living on coffee.

I couldn’t imagine the strain she’d put on her system. I pulled back the covers and laid her down, removing her shoes before pulling the blankets over her. Against the white pillows, her hair shone like gold. I could imagine how much more beautiful it would look once washed and brushed out. She hadn’t been taking care of herself, not at all.

I could admit now that I’d assumed the trouble had something to do with a man—a boyfriend, a breakup, something trivial which she’d get over in time. But this sort of breakdown signified something much more serious. I wished I could get a hold of Smoke, ask him what he thought. He was the scholar, not me. I should’ve spent more time reading about important things instead of pining over Scotland and wasting time watching action movies.

There was a spare blanket and pillows in the linen closet. I made a bed for myself on the floor and stripped down to my boxers and t-shirt, then settled in for a restless night.

* * *

It was ten hours before she woke up.

“Oh, my God.” She sat bolt upright, mouth open in horror. “I slept here? What happened? How…?”

I sat up, too, the blanket around my waist. “You don’t remember?”

“I… don’t think so…” She rubbed her forehead. “Oh, my God, what a mess… My head is splitting like I have a hangover.”

“I don’t think it’s a hangover,” I smiled gently. “The only bender you went on was an emotional one.”

Her hands dropped to her lap as memory dawned. “No. I can’t believe I made a scene like that. I’m so sorry.” When she started to swing her legs over the side of the bed, I jumped up to stop her.

“Hold still. You’re going to rest there for a little while longer.”

“I can’t! I have work to do. You know I do.”

“Yes, I know you do, but the first thing you should concern yourself with is eating.” I held up a hand to signal her to stay still, then opened the door to the lab.

My breakfast was waiting, as always. Eggs, steak, potatoes, fruit, blistered tomatoes, toast, coffee, and milk. Everything a growing boy needed. I carried the tray into my room and set it down on the bed.

“What’s all this?”

“My usual breakfast,” I explained, lifting the lids on all the dishes. “Eat. As much as you can.”

“I couldn’t, Cash. This is yours.”

“When’s the last time you ate?” I challenged as I unwrapped the silverware, one eye on her at all times.

Her brow creased in thought. “Oh. You know, I don’t remember.”

“I’ll bet you don’t. You’re wasting away. Now, eat.” I thrust the knife and fork toward her. “Eat as much as you can manage, and then some more. You have to get your strength back.”

“I really shouldn’t be doing this.” Even as she said it, I could see how the aromas wafting off the tray were affecting her. The dilated pupils, the way she kept having to swallow back the saliva which flooded her mouth. There was no denying her hunger.

I nodded, just once, and she picked up a piece of toast and took a nibble. Which turned into a bite. Which turned into her nearly shoving half a piece in her mouth all at once before cutting into the medium-rare strip steak.

It was a relief, seeing her eat like that. I could provide for her even in the most rudimentary of ways. She didn’t even seem to feel embarrassed at eating that way while I watched, which was another good sign. Her body was taking what it needed.

Once she slowed down enough to be able to breathe in between bites, she asked, “What time is it?”

“Around eight o’clock.”

“I slept all this time?” she asked, eyes like saucers.

“Yes, indeed. I’ve never seen anybody who needed it more.” And I was accustomed to staying up for twenty-four hours at a stretch. I knew what fatigue felt like.

“I’m sorry to put you out like this. You, ahem, slept on the floor?”

“I did. You would likely remember if I hadn’t.”

Her cheeks flushed—another good sign after seeing them so ghostly white.

I let her off the hook. “What I mean is, I tend to take up a lot of space in the bed. You wouldn’t have slept nearly as well had I been in there with you.”

“I don’t know. I was out cold. I don’t even remember getting here from the lab.” She looked down at herself, as if checking to be sure she was still fully dressed.

I stopped short of asking how little she thought of me that she had to check for such a thing.

“Thank you,” she finally whispered. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me.” That was when her voice broke, and a sliver of that wounded, fragile girl came through. She left the last piece of toast on the tray and pushed away the rest.

“You’re finished?”

“I’ve had enough.” She looked down at her hands.

“Now, do you feel like telling me what’s really happening with you? And stop lying, please. You’re only wasting my time, and yours. And you’re insulting me.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“Sorry, nothing,” I growled, jumping to my feet. “I watched you cry yourself unconscious last night. You collapsed in my arms and slept ten hours solid. You’ve just eaten enough to feed a full-grown shifter. Your bones are practically sticking out of your skin. You’re not taking care of yourself. You’re falling apart—nothing like the person you were when we first met. What is it? What’s happened in such a short amount of time?”

I glared down at her once I finished pacing.

Tears filled her eyes, spilled over onto her hands, onto the blankets around her. They streamed down over her cheeks.

I went to her again, taking her arms in my hands. “You can tell me. Don’t you know? All I want is for you to be safe. There has to be something I can do.”

“You won’t want to help me when you know the truth,” she promised in a barely audible whisper. “I wish I didn’t… I wish you weren’t so nice to me. I wish I didn’t like you at all. It would be at least a little easier that way.”

Certainty struck me like a ton of bricks, and I let her go, looming over her. “I see. So you’ve been using me all along, just like I guessed. You’re working for someone else. That’s why you’ve fallen apart like this. It’s guilt. You’re an honest person, and they want you to be dishonest.”

I was almost surprised at the depth of my disappointment in her. I wanted to believe the best. I wanted to trust her.

She shook her head. “I’ve wanted to tell you all this time. I like you, I trust you, and it’s been killing me to keep it to myself.”

“You don’t deny it, then. I let you sleep in this bed and gave you my food, and you’re nothing but a traitor.”

Another shake of her head. “Cash, they have my nephew. They kidnapped my nephew, and he’s five years old, and they won’t give him back until I give them your blood.”

It all came out in one breathless rush, and when she finished, we both swayed as if a bomb had just gone off.