Tell Me Where it Hurts
He leans down and licks my neck, and my shoulder, while his canine grazes my skin. I shudder as chills of pleasure run up and down my body. My eyelids flutter shut. The feel of his warm, hard body covering mine, his heated, wet, and wicked mouth, and tongue on my skin.
Oh goddess, yes. Noo...
I want him to mark me, but at the same time, I don't. My brain is saying no, but my body has a mind of its own. I want to push him off me, but instead, my fingers disappear into his thick dark silky hair and tug him closer. Breathless moaning comes out of my mouth.
No, no, no. I push him off my neck, but then my hands move to stroke his cheeks.
His long, thick, sooty eyelashes fan his cheeks as he closes his eyes and leans into my touch. His nose flares. I stroke his cheeks gently and he's almost purring, losing himself in the pleasure of the simple touch. I'm mesmerized. I can't take my eyes off of his beautiful face. His passion-filled yet tortured expression so lost in ecstasy. This is my doing. I can't believe I have such a lethal, powerful creature purring under the touch of my hands.
“It's been so long since the last time you touched me,” he murmurs, his voice so low like he's drowning in pleasure. “Tell me that you're mine,” he demands hoarsely with his eyes still closed.
He brings his face down to mine again. His nose nuzzles my ear, then my jaw, then his sensual lips seek that spot behind my ear. My eyes roll to the back of my head. It's not fair; he knows my body so well. His hands are trailing fire, roaming over my exposed stomach, then cupping me over my lacy bra. My body comes alive under his touch. The pleasure is too much, it numbs my mind.
“Say it,” he growls into my ear. “Say that you're mine.”
Think! Think! Yes. No.
”My body's yours,” I gasp. “Are you happy now?” I add rebelliously.
“Not yet....not until you can't stay away from me. Not until you need me so bad, you can't think, you can't sleep, you can't breathe until you're in my arms,” he says harshly. “Not until you feel like you're going out of your mind like you're only half of a being without me around. Not until you feel what I feel.”
Goddess, is that not how I had been feeling for the last couple of days? I felt like I wasn't going to survive without him.
“Now tell me that you need me,” he demands.
“I..I..” Oh gosh, I can't even form a simple sentence when he's holding me like this.
“Say it, Genesis. Tell me you need me. Tell me you want me. Tell me you want this. Say it.”
I need him, yes. I want him. Oh, so much! I want him so badly NOW. But, I'd rather die than be second to anyone in his life. It will kill me eventually if I had to watch him with Milan or anyone else. Milan will always be in his life. Milan.
“NO!” I yell, pushing him away. I must have taken him by surprise because he loses his grip on me and staggers back. We stand, wide-eyed, staring at each other intensely with a few feet between us, breathing hard. Emotions flit across his face. First is shock, then hurt, disbelieve, then hurt again...and anger.
“No?” His silver-gray eyes flash dangerously. He moves in closer again, and his hands come up to grip my upper arms possessively. “It's one of those boys, isn't it? Who is it? Is it that useless alpha mutt? Are you going back to him? Or that beta? No? The stupid human boy then?” he demands through clenched teeth. His eyes are darkening around the edges again. It's bleeding slowly into the whites.
“Why does it matter?”
“Why does it matter??? It matters because you're mine! You love only me! Whoever it is, I'll destroy him,” he vows. His voice is changing. His still changing eyes burn into mine as if he's reaching inside my brain, reading into my deepest secrets.
He's still furious, and I should be calming him if I was smart, but I'm not smart. Especially when I am seething myself. He has no right to be jealous when he had Milan hanging onto his arm. The image of them together in my head is enough to make me simmer inside.
“Screw you!” I yell, trying to pull my arms out of his grip.
“Yeah, let me show you how good it is to screw me,” he growls before his mouth slams onto mine. His hand moves up into my hair to hold my head in place for his punishing kiss. His other hand is firmly on my ass, holding me up, molding my body to his. My feet are off the ground. I struggle to be free, but he's much too strong. He grinds his mouth against mine, but I keep my mouth clamp shut. He bites my lower lip with enough pressure for him to be able to pry my mouth open for his invasion. His tongue slips inside, and my brain goes hazy. The taste of him—his tongue exploring my mouth and tangling with mine. Fireworks and explosions are breaking out through my entire body. This kiss is rough and meant to show dominance and possession. Why am I enjoying this? \
Mmm. Screw this!
I return his punishing kiss with my own. We're all lips and tongues and teeth, clashing, dueling and punishing. This kiss is frantic and furious and hungry. Pain and pleasure. Torture and passion. My hand moves up to grab a fistful of his luscious hair and tug roughly. My other hand sinks into his back. He moans into my mouth, and I sink my teeth into his lower lip...and taste blood.
“Bastard,” I growl before I attack his lips again and grip his hair harder.
He responds by grinding his lips roughly against mine. His mouth then moves to trail my jaw and lower. His hand pulls at my hair to angle my head to the side so that his hungry mouth has better access to my neck.
“Douche,” I moan as he licks and sucks and nibbles.
Gosh! His mouth is still magic.
“You're a scumbag... ohhh... asshole… pig... mmm... jerk.” I tug at his hair harder. “Jackass.” I manage before his mouth covers mine again.
“Oh, the mouth you have on you...” he whispers against my lips. “And you kiss me with this mouth..” he says and kisses me again.
“I'm going to mark you...I need to mark you,” he says. “You're all I can think about. Whenever I see any of those guys near you, I want to go on a rampage. You need me as much as I need you. Tell me you want me too.”
Yes, I do want him to mark me, but then again my brain keeps taking me back to Milan.
“No! No, I don't,” I reply, pushing him off. My voice is almost breaking. “If you mark me now, I'll hate you forever.”
“No!” He stares at me as if he's seeing me for the first time. “Why are you doing this? You need me as much as I need you. You love me,” he declares vehemently and desperately.
“No, I don't. I don't need you,” I lie. “Why do you think I keep asking for more space and time? I love someone else,” I feel my heart breaking as I say those words.
He reels back as if I just hit him. “No,” he mumbles, shaking his head in denial. “I don't believe you. No. You need me. You love me. You told me so...you do.”
“No, I lied. I don't need you. I never loved you.” Oh Gosh, it's hard to breathe. My chest is hurting.
Constantine is clutching his chest too, still shaking his head. “No...you're lying.”
Tears are pooling in my eyes, and I turn away from him. I'm feeling very sick, and cold, and weak, as if all blood just drained from my body. My chest is hurting even more. My feet can barely hold my body up. I almost fall when he kneels in front of me.
“Tell me that's not true,” he says. “Tell me...” He suddenly wraps his arms around me tightly and presses his face against my stomach. He's holding me like he's hanging for dear life. My tears start to fall in heavy downpours.
I'm in so much pain, I can't manage to choke a single word out. Ezra is in pain.
“Tell me what I can do to make you love me,” he begs against my stomach. “Just tell me...anything, and I'll do it.”
I try to move, but he won't let go of me. “I won't let you go,” he vows, but his voice sounds tortured. “You love me...please.”
“No.” I try so hard to stop crying, but my tears soon turn into silent sobs.
He looks up when big fat tears start falling onto his arms, and my body starts shaking uncontrollably.
Why can't I lie without feeling such pain? Why can't I stop crying? His eyes turn from confusion to a dawning of understanding as he stares up at me.
“You do love me,” he declares with sudden clarity as he gets to his feet.
“No, I don't,” I choke out, shaking my head.
“Yes, you do. Why are you lying to me?” he demands to know, cupping my face firmly in his hands. He tilts my face up, and I closed my eyes tightly.
“Look at me!”
I stubbornly keep my eyes closed, willing the tears to stop falling. They keep coming. My sobs turn louder.
“Sunshine...” he groans before his mouth takes mine in a soft, gentle kiss. He kisses me like I was made of glass. He holds and kisses me like I was the most precious thing he ever held and touched. That only makes me cry harder.
“Sweetheart, what can I do?” he asks, leaning his forehead against mine. “Tell me..”
“Let...let me g go,” I gasp between sobs.
“No!” he growls, pulling away. “Anything but that,” he announces, gripping my shoulders tightly. “I told you, I'll never let you go. You don't seem to get it, sunshine. I might sound like a selfish bastard, but I've waited all my life for you. Over three hundred lonely years. You're my erasthai. Mine! I'm never letting you go.”
“What about Milan?” I suddenly spit out. I can't keep it in any longer. He will not have us both. I did not escape from almost being Logan's side mate to become Constantine's second choice. It was painful to hear it from Logan. It would kill me if I had to go through the same thing with Constantine.
His eyebrows rise in surprise. Then he frowns in confusion. It's like that was the last thing he expected me to say. “What about her?”
“Aren't you in love with her? Aren't you going to keep her too?”
“What???” he says, looking appalled. “What gave you that idea?”
“Milan! You wanted to have fun with her in Russia. That's why you left me here!” I snap. My sadness has turned into rage. “Well, I won't be anyone's woman on the side. Next time you want to spend time alone with her, don't even bother to lie...because…because... I won't be here for you to lie to. You two can spend all the time alone together. Forever!!!” I yell the last part as loud as I can, with all the fury I feel in me. Then I turn around, intent to make my grand getaway. Gosh! I sounded like a jealous housewife! If I had something in front of me now, I would totally bang my head against it—several times!
His powerful arm snakes around my waist faster than I can move. Totally ruined my dramatic escape. Gah! This man! Can't I at least keep some of whatever dignity I have left?
“You're jealous.” He states in surprise, turning me around to face him. “That's it? All this? All this is because you're jealous?” He sounds almost amazed, and disbelieving... and happy. “There's no other man is there? You're just jealous.”
Oh, he'd better not be laughing at me now!
Jerk! I grit my teeth and glare up at him with my most vicious scowl. Ever.
“You're jealous? Of Milan?” he states again, sounding incredulous.
If he repeated those words again, I'll knee him in his baby maker. I swear it!
“But sunshine, I have no interest in Milan at all. She's just a friend. You're my erasthai. You're my mate. Don't you understand how important you are to me? There's no one else for me but you!” His silver-gray eyes gaze into mine with such intensity as if willing me to understand.
“You took her side when I told you she was hurting me and my friends. You chose to believe her over me. You chose her over me.” I cry. I feel the hurt all over again.
“Oh, sweetheart...” he groans, cradling the back of my head with his hands. His thumbs are wiping my tears. “I'm so sorry...” He pulls me close and rests his forehead against mine. “I didn't realize I was doing that. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I would never intentionally hurt you. I certainly never, ever, choose anyone over you. Will you forgive me?”
“What about Russia? Milan told me herself how you two had fun in Russia. She said you went there to be alone with her. Away from me.” I pull away from him.
He clenches his jaw. “I see... sounds like she's been very busy telling you things. When did she tell you all this? What else had she been telling you?”
“She came to my house yesterday. She told me to back off. She said that you love her and that you two are getting back together again. She said you'd believe her over me, that you'd choose her over me anytime.”
“I see.” His eyes narrow and seem thoughtful.
“She said that you two were lovers and that you two were going to be mates,” I can't keep the hurt from my voice. “She said she would make you happy and forget all about me.”
I'm throwing her under the bus by telling him all about this, but I don't care. Serena told me to talk to my mate, and that's what I'm doing right now.
“Forget all about you?” He scoffs. Constantine suddenly laughs. It doesn't sound like his usual amused laughter though. It was brief and harsh. It sounds like he finds the idea absurd. In fact, his laughter sounds like he's furious.
“Sweetheart, it happened only one time, a week after Antonia died. That was over a hundred years ago. I wasn't in the right mind. She was there for me when Antonia died. Maybe it's grief. I don't know why I did it. I thought it would make me feel better, but it didn't, and I regretted it right away. It's empty, and it means nothing. It's nothing like what we share, Genesis. Believe me, one touch, one glance from you means a lot more to me than that one time.
“I actually felt worse after it happened and I saw that she wanted more. Right away, I knew that it was a mistake. I apologized to her. I told her that it'll never happen again and that nothing will come out of it because I was waiting for my erasthai. She seemed okay with it. She said she's waiting for hers too.”
“Well, she's not okay with it,” I mumble. “She hates me.”
“Sweetheart, I've been alive for over three hundred years. It was a lonely existence, but I had no intention of ever making anyone else my mate. I was waiting for you. The moment I saw you, I knew you're worth every second of the wait. My, fiery sunshine, I'll wait another thousand years for you if I have to,” he says, looking earnestly into my eyes. His hand tugging a lock of my hair around his fingers. He always seems to have a thing for my hair.
“As for Russia, I didn't take her with me. She decided to come with us. Besides, I didn't talk to her at all back then because I was still very mad at how she interrupted our... err... painting session.” His eyes flash briefly with the remembered session, and my cheeks flushed red. “I didn't see her in Russia at all until we boarded the plane to come home.
“I didn't bring you along because I had no intention of staying there longer than two days. I thought I'd be okay without you for that short amount of time. I thought you might be a distraction to me because we're there to work.
“We went there to set borders among a few Southern Packs to create peace. They've been at war for years. We started the peace deal a few years back, but it fell through when one of the packs broke the temporary truce agreement. We needed to start the negotiations right away while all the pack leaders are in the agreement.
“Also, we needed to convince King Alexandros to let us stay here a bit longer. I know you're not ready to leave yet. I drove Lazarus and Caspian crazy by cracking the whip on them to finish everything in less than two days. We left while some of them were still negotiating. Sunshine, I can't be away from you ever again. I'm never leaving you behind. I might have to work day and night, but at least I know you're there, not thousands of miles away. Not worrying if you're safe or if any other males are trying to get close to you, feeling jealous, and thinking of the worst ...driving myself crazy, wanting to get back here even before our plane touched the ground in Moscow.
“I think I drove everyone crazy these last couple of days. I wanted to take you, mark you as mine, but I didn't want you to hate me for doing it forcefully. I wanted you to want it as much as I did. Sweetheart, these last couple of days were pure torture...now will you forgive me?”
“You always have Milan hanging on your shoulder. I thought you chose her over me. I thought you're getting back together again.”
“Sweetheart, we were never together, to begin with. It's always been you for me.”
“But you're always whispering together.”
“Yeah, all we did was talking about you. She's always giving me advice about getting you back.”
“How very helpful of her,” I respond cattily.
“Might not be the best person for me to listen to, but I was pretty desperate to get you back. You have no idea how crazy you're driving me,” he says, pressing his forehead to mine. “Please forgive me for making you feel like you're second to somebody else. That was never my intention. You must know, you'll always come first. Always, sweetheart,” he vows. “Forgive me?”
“You never came to see me at night like you always did either.” I pout.
“Sunshine, you asked for some space and time. I thought that was because you're not sure about us, but I wasn't ever going to let you go. I stayed away because I was hoping you'd figure out that you couldn't live without me...only it backfired. It was pure torture. I couldn't stand it. I saw all the boys around you like vultures, ready to pounce on my girl as soon as they thought I was out of the picture. It drove me crazy. I was ready to snap all the men's head who even dared to look at you. Now will you forgive me?” he asks again.
“For the record, I'd never apologized to anyone as much as I'm apologizing to you right now,” he adds suddenly.
“Yeah, you're pretty desperate to get into my pants,” I return flippantly. I blushed beet red as soon as the words escaped my lips. Me and my big mouth.
His eyes widen in surprise for a second, then he grins wickedly. “Is it working? Do I get to be in you... I mean, in your pants soon?”
I puff my cheeks, trying to ignore the buzzing excitement in my tummy and my racing heartbeat at his naughty looks and words.
“Nothing happened between me and Logan at the party,” I say instead. “Nor with Hunter, the beta. I ran out of there....Hunter drove me home. That's all.”
“You're very good at running, my love...though I'm glad you did,” he remarks. “I trust none of those guys, though. I'm thankful that the beta sent you home...but he wants you. I can see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. The same with that human boy. He's smitten with you. Can't take his eyes off you. I could happily snap his head off every time he's staring at you with that sickening lovestruck look on his face.”
“Constantine, I don't care about any of them. I only want you. There's no one else for me but you.”