I’d forgotten how sore, then itchy tattoos feel. I’m on day two and I’m starting to itch. Next week I have to go in and have my hip tattoo filled in with color, something Tank couldn’t do the other day. This weekend we move into our new house, then I have my color fill on my hip, and it seems like this life of mine is finally starting to look up.

However, today I’m working. Crooner walked me down to Gracie’s this morning to drop off Easton, then to the bar to drop me off. Just like he did yesterday.

I can’t hide the smile on my face or the excitement I have that we’re together. I’ve never felt this happy or thrilled before. Not ever in my life have I woken up, excited to see what the day will bring. With Ward, I can’t wait to see what happens next.

The bar starts filling with the lunch crowd, and I hurry to take orders, thankful for the busy Tuesday afternoon crowd. Sometimes it can be really slow during the week, but this is a pleasant surprise. I watch as a couple of the guys from the club walk in and sit down in their regular seating area.

Most of the patrons order lunch, so I hurry back to the cook and give him the slips before I make my way toward the club members to take their orders. I’m surprised to see Free amongst the crowd. He doesn’t come in here very often, I assume being the vice president of the Notorious Devils keeps him pretty busy during the day.

“Nothing beats walking in on Croon fucking Jizzy in the ass though. Swear to Christ my eyes almost popped outta my head,” Free chuckles as I walk up behind him. The other men at the table laugh as well.

Motorhead slaps the table. “He just leaves his fucking door open. I’ve walked by, I can’t tell you how many times, to him fucking someone’s ass. Fuck, it happened just a coupla days ago. I’m not sure he even likes pussy,” he laughs.

My stomach drops at their words. I’ve never heard them talk like this before about Crooner. I wonder if they’re just really careful around me, but I feel like the rug has been completely pulled out from under me. A couple of days ago? He was screwing a clubwhore, in the ass, just a couple of days ago?

Turning around, I quickly walk away from the group of men. I feel like I’m going to be sick. Hurrying toward the bathroom, I make it just in time. When my stomach is empty, I turn around and walk over to the sink. After rinsing my mouth out, I look at myself in the mirror, my eyes catching my new ink and they water.

Fuck.

I have his name on my chest, my chest, and he’s fucking other women. I shouldn’t be surprised, not really. After all, I’ve seen countless men screw whores and then go home to their wives, girlfriends, and baby mamas as though they didn’t do a damn thing wrong.

Why did I pine after him for so long? Why did I think that Crooner was any different? Why did I give him my heart completely? Why did I fall in love with him?

Why am I so fucking stupid?

There’s a knock on the bathroom door and the lunch cook announces that my plates are ready to serve. After washing my hands, I tell him I’m on my way and I leave the bathroom. It doesn’t take me long to serve the customers their lunch, then I suck in a deep breath and put on my fake smile before making my way back to the Notorious Devils crew.

“Sorry I took so long,” I apologize.

They all tell me, no problem, and place their orders. All three of them want food and beer, so I quickly scribble down their orders before hurrying off. I grab their beers first and take them to the table. I deliver Free’s last and before I can walk away, his hand wraps around my wrist and halts me.

“You get some ink, sweetheart?” he asks. It takes everything inside of me not to burst out into tears as I nod. “He came in boasting he claimed you. None of us believed that shit, yet there it is,” he chuckles.

“Yeah, he did,” I smile.

Free’s eyes search mine and his brows furrow but thankfully he doesn’t say anything. “Be good to have you and Easton around the clubhouse more often,” he shrugs, releasing my wrist.

I make a non-committal noise in the back of my throat before I turn around and leave the table of men.

I am fucked.

Completely and totally fucked. I accepted Crooner as my Old Man, and he’s claimed and marked me, which means there’s no leaving him. He can walk away from me anytime he wants, but I don’t have the freedom to do the same.

I am so fucked.

Free’s words play on repeat in my head, be good to have you and Easton around the clubhouse more often. All I can think about is the clubwhores I’m going to have to look at, women that Ward is fucking while I’m at work, or at home.

I should have believed him when he said he wasn’t good for me, that he didn’t deserve me. I should have believed him and stuck with Baby, or how about nobody? I should have stayed fucking single. My stupid heart and body had to have Ward, though.

As soon as the Devils’ order is ready, I quickly serve it to them, before heading back behind the bar to clean. The bar top is already spotless, but I need to keep busy, so I clean it again. The rest of the lunch crowd slowly disperses, and I’m glad because that means I have more to clean and keep me busy.

Unfortunately, I have to visit the Devils’ table one last time, and I let out a sigh when I do. Slowly, I make my way over to them to deliver their bills.

“Thanks, babe, it was good,” Motorhead offers with a wink as he takes money out of his pocket.

“You doing okay, Hayden? You seem, off,” Free asks, legitimate concern crossing his features.

I press my lips together trying quickly to think up an excuse, or a lie. “I’m fine, just tired. Easton’s been teething,” I say.

It’s not a lie, more like a fib. Easton has been teething, but he’s also been sleeping great and I can’t really complain. He’s such a good boy, has been since he was a baby, but I needed something to tell him.

Free tilts his head to the side, his eyes searching my face, but he doesn’t respond to my fib. He nods, giving me a small smile, then takes his wallet out of his pocket and puts money down on the table before he stands.

“See you around, Hayden,” he murmurs.

The other guys say the same as they slowly walk out of the bar. I let out a sigh of relief that they’re finally gone. After collecting their money, I put the bar’s portion in the cash register, then the tips they left me in my pocket.

My relief is short-lived. About fifteen minutes later, Ginger walks into the bar carrying her baby in her arms. Evalyn is almost a year old and almost as sweet as Easton. I give them a smile and a wave from behind the bar. Ginger stops in her tracks and her eyes narrow on my chest before she marches in my direction.

“What is that?” she demands, her hand out and her finger pointed directly at my chest.

My eyes flick to her neck where Snake is scrolled in plain view. She walks over closer to where I’m standing and leans in, her eyes directly focused on my chest where Crooner’s name is written, pretty and plainly.

“He marked you,” she whispers.

I nod. A lump caught in my throat. He did mark me, and it seems like his dick has been marking whores while I’ve been daydreaming about how wonderful he is, and what a fantastic life we’re going to make together. I wrinkle my nose at the thought.

I never thought he was a saint, never thought he was celibate the entire time I’ve known him. However, I stupidly assumed that would stop once we got together, but a few days ago? We’ve definitely been together officially for more than a couple of days.

“It’s gorgeous, so Crooner,” she smiles. “Welcome, Hayden. I’m so glad he finally got his head out of his ass. After all you’ve done for him, and he for you, I’m glad that you’re finally together,” she smiles.

I don’t want to burst her bubble or tell her how upset I am. Me and Ginger, we aren’t really that close. Not that I don’t want to be, but I don’t know how to be. I’ve never had friends, and I’ve always been isolated, so I tend to keep my distance from everyone, even Gracie and Lea.

If you don’t let people get too close, then they can’t hurt you or be hurt by you. Unfortunately, I didn’t take my own advice when it came to Ward. I curse myself internally, again. I should have been with Baby. If Baby fucked around on me, I wouldn’t really care. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be as hurt as I am right now.

“Thanks. We’re moving into our own place this weekend. Will that be a problem with the trailer? Me not living there?” I ask, worried that she’ll be out someone to keep an eye on the bar.

Ginger’s smile widens even more. “Oh, shit you’re moving in together? This is serious, serious,” she chuckles. “I love this. Don’t worry about the trailer, we’ll find someone to live there, eventually.”

I smile at Ginger, knowing without a doubt that it doesn’t reach my eyes. She searches my face and her brows knit together, but she doesn’t say anything.

“If you need some help, don’t hesitate to call me. I’m free all weekend, we can go into town and go shopping for house stuff and furniture. I’m sure you’ll need everything,” she offers.

“Okay, yeah, that sounds good. Maybe Sunday?”

She blinks, probably not expecting me to have suggested an actual day. “Yeah, that sounds good, I’ll come by and pick you up in the morning,” she offers.

“Okay,” I grin.

Ginger walks away with a wave, Evalyn mimicking her mom and I watch as they go into her office. I let out a sigh of relief when they’re out of sight. Thankfully Traci walks in just a few minutes later and I know that my shift is over.

I groan because I remember that Crooner promised to show up after work and go with me to get Easton. He’s really the last person I want to see right now. I’m going to have to fake everything with him because I know without a doubt that I can’t bring up what I heard Free and Motorhead talking about. Clubwhores are there, everybody knows they are, but as an Old Lady, I’m supposed to pretend they don’t exist, just like they’re supposed to pretend we don’t exist.

“Oh shit, it’s official,” Traci breathes as she closes the distance between us.

I nod, not giving her the fake smile that I had on hand for Free and Ginger. She frowns but doesn’t say anything right away.

“It’ll be okay, honey. Don’t stress about stuff. You’ve been through hell, take whatever is thrown your way in stride, and know that it could never be as bad as your past,” she smiles, wrapping her fingers around my elbow and giving me a squeeze. “Besides, Easton has a daddy that adores him, and he adores you too. That’s a blessing in and of itself.”

The door opens again, and Crooner fills the space. I think about Traci’s words as he slowly makes his way toward me. She’s right. He treats me better than Lucifer, and Jack combined. He loves me, and he’s claiming me and Easton as his family. He comes home to me, and I shouldn’t ignore that.

I need to accept that the whores are just part of his package. The rest of him is a dream come true, everybody has their flaws, even if his hurt me emotionally, they don’t physically, so I should be able to accept it. Eventually, I probably will, even if right now, it hurts.

“Hey baby,” I say as I walk around the bar.

Wrapping my hand around her waist, I tug her against my chest. I missed the feel of her body against mine all day long. I don’t know how much longer I can be okay with her working away from me during the day, all day every day. Evenings, Saturdays, and Sundays are not enough time with her.

She seems stiff against me but then relaxes almost immediately. “Hey,” she offers with a smile.

Leaning down, I brush my lips along hers. I don’t know how I’m going to tell her that Monday I have to leave for two weeks. We have a huge shipment coming from Idaho and I need to be there. As the sergeant at arms for the club, I need to do inventory. Not all of the guns that are being delivered will go off toward the second destination. Some our club bought for our own personal use, to take up north and go against the compound of Aryans.

Unfortunately, it’s important shit and I need to be there for that. We’re heading down to Idaho to go over all of the merchandise before we load it up. I wish it were a fast, quick trip, but it hasn’t been that way in the past.

I also need to bring a load of dope back and I’m going to stay with both the guns and the dope until they’re delivered to our contact. The entire process could take up to three weeks, but I’m hoping it will only take two. I don’t want to spend even that many days away from Hayden and Easton.

Everything was finalized today, so I need to tell Hayden tonight. I hope she doesn’t get too upset, especially since we’re moving this weekend, and the next day I leave, but this is the kind of shit she’s going to have to get used to, this is my job, and my life—our life now.

“Ready to get East?” I ask, taking a step back from her and wrapping my hand around her own.

She nods, reaching down behind the bar for her purse. I watch as she hitches it over her shoulder, then waves and says goodbye to Traci.

We talk about her day as we walk to Gracie’s to grab Easton. I’ll be happy when she’s living down this street, and also when she’s able to drive. I don’t mind walking, but when winter comes, I don’t want her or Easton on foot like this, anymore. I also don’t like them out in the elements at night.

Although our quiet town is relatively safe, and nothing happens here that the Devils don’t know about, she’s still more exposed than I would like. This shit should have bothered me last year, but I’ve been trying so hard to forget her, that I pushed shit like this to the side and ignored it.

Sliding my arm around her shoulder, I bring her a little closer to my side. I like the way she feels against me, even when we aren’t naked, although I prefer naked. Lowering my head, I press my lips to the top of her head, as we continue on our way. I’m so goddamn happy, I don’t know if anything could bring me down at this point.