The next day, Austin got the plowing done and went out to the herd with Shay, hoping to get caught up before he had to confess to Shane that he’d gotten a little bit behind. The hours working with cows and salt passed quickly, and he cleaned up and climbed back in the truck with Shay when his phone rang.

He glanced at it, expecting to see Shane’s name and finding his father’s. “It’s my dad.”

“Answer it,” she said as she twisted the key in the ignition. “You can’t change him.”

Their meeting last night had been about transformation, and how the only person Austin could change was Austin. So while he wished, maybe have even prayed, for his father to stop manipulating him, Austin couldn’t make that happen.

“Hey, Dad,” he said. Shay swung the truck around and pointed it west, back toward the epicenter of the ranch.

“I’m not going to ask you about coming for Christmas,” he said quickly, and Austin wondered if he maybe had started to change. “But what about this weekend?”

“This weekend, meaning tomorrow?” Austin looked at Shay, who shook her head.

“Yeah, tomorrow,” his dad said. “We can go to the Luxury Lodge and just spend some time together.”

Austin hadn’t been born last week. He knew the Luxury Lodge was booked six months out, especially around the holidays. He felt perpetually stuck between what he wanted and pleasing his father, whom he felt some sort of sick loyalty to.

“We can go fishing,” his dad continued casually, but not casually at all. He knew Austin loved the fishing off the streams surrounding the Luxury Lodge. “And hiking. Maybe hit a few golf balls.”

Austin liked everything about the Luxury Lodge, from their big swimming pools to their acres and acres of hiking trails and fishing spots. It was the perfect place for a weekend of unwinding in the beauty of Hill Country, and Austin wanted to go. He just didn’t want to play into his father’s hand.

“Can you give me a couple of minutes?” Austin asked. “I need to talk to…Shane and see if I can get away for the weekend.”

“Sure, call me back.”

Austin hung up and blew out his breath. “My dad wants me to go spend the weekend with him at the Luxury Lodge.”

“What’s the Luxury Lodge?” Shay flicked a glance at him and back to the road. Him. The road.

“It’s this great place out near Boerne. They have great fishing, lots of hiking and biking trails. A driving range where you can play all kinds of different games. Several pools.” Austin shrugged like it was no big deal. “It was my favorite place to go growing up.”

“So…maybe you should go. Is his wife going?”

“You know, I don’t know. I assumed she was. He wanted me to come spend Christmas Eve with them, so I didn’t ask.”

“Would it be better or worse if she wasn’t there?”

“I don’t know. I hardly know her.” And that was true. His father had gotten remarried only eight months after the bankruptcy and subsequent break-up of their family. At the time, Austin wasn’t really sure what was going on, but he knew now that his father had known and dated Joanna before his divorce was final.

And when he’d found that out, the relationship between him and his father had cracked. It had taken another few years for it to break completely, and Austin wondered now if it was worth putting back together.

“So, what do you want to do?”

“I mean, it’s my dad.”

“Yeah.”

“And you just don’t give up on that, you know?” He searched Shay’s face, wondering if she agreed or not. Shane had given up. Dylan too.

She’d told him a lot more about what her life had been like once she’d returned from her service in the Army, and her strained relationship with her father had come into more clarity.

Then they’d attended the meeting, and he’d taken her for a to-go container of her favorite soup from the Soup Kitchen, and they’d sat on the tailgate in her driveway talking until almost midnight.

He couldn’t imagine the front room of the homestead filled with boxes and items that hadn’t even been opened. She’d sold everything she could, and it wasn’t even close to what they needed to keep the ranch.

Austin understood on a fundamental level. Though he’d only been sixteen at the time, losing the ranch that had been in his family for generations had been a blow he hadn’t fully understood until the last few years.

“No,” she murmured. “You don’t just give up on that.”

Austin looked out the passenger window, the landscape bumping by as they made their way back in. “How’s your dad doing?”

“Better. It was just a cold. A little flu bug.”

“I should ask Shane for the time off, shouldn’t I?”

“It’s up to you, Austin. You’re the one putting yourself out there.”

“He’s not going to change.”

“Probably not.”

“I’ll end up mad.”

“Probably.”

Austin exhaled, still torn and wishing he wasn’t. His feelings didn’t make sense, and that angered him too. “Can you drop me at the homestead?”

“’Course.”

The rest of the drive happened quickly, with Austin inside his own head. As Shay drove past his house, she asked, “How close are you to moving into that place?”

“Dylan said I should be in next weekend,” Austin said, a small balloon of hope lifting his spirits. “The appliances are in now, and he’s just getting all the utilities turned on and then doing the final clean up.”

“That’s great. Are you excited?”

Excited not to be living with his brother and his new wife? “Yeah, I’m excited.”

She pulled up to the homestead, and he turned to look at her. “Dinner tonight?”

“When will you go to San Antonio?” Shay seemed confident that Austin would go. “You won’t go tonight?”

“I don’t know.” Austin was tired of saying that. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Well, kiss me now in case I don’t see you.” She smiled at him, half bashful and half bold, and Austin adored the look on her beautiful face.

“All right.” He slid across the seat and kissed her like this would be the last time.

An hour later, Shane had given Austin the same answer Shay had. Do what you think is right, Austin.

When he’d asked his brother if he’d go, Shane had said, “I’m not you, Austin.”

“And no, he wouldn’t go,” Robin had said without even glancing up from her tablet.

“Why wouldn’t you go?” Austin asked.

“I’ve never tried to influence you,” Shane had said. “But I wouldn’t go, because I’m not interested in having a relationship with Dad. If you are, you should go. There’s no right or wrong answer here, Austin.”

So Austin had called his dad back and discovered that he was already at the Luxury Lodge. No, Joanna wouldn’t be there. Yes, Austin could come that night. He’d called Shay as he packed, and he called goodbye to Robin and Shane as he went out the front door. They could survive the weekend with just Robin’s truck, as she was home-based until the New Year.

And that was how Austin found himself on the road leading back to San Antonio, actually looking forward to a weekend with his father. He found him sitting in the warm, rich lobby, holding his phone at eye-level instead of bending over to look at his phone.

“Dad.” Austin stopped in front of him and watched his dad’s face light up as he launched himself out of the chair.

He engulfed him, had always made Austin feel small though he stood just over six feet himself. “Austin.” A booming laugh filled the lodge and he clapped Austin on the back several times as they hugged. “So glad you could make it.”

His father’s presence filled the entire space, drawing every eye. He always had. He was full of personality and charisma, and it was no wonder that he’d come back from the life he’d shattered.

Austin couldn’t help smiling in his presence. It seemed nothing got his father down, nothing upset him, nothing rattled him. Austin envied him for that, and then remembered that jealousy was a quick way to anger, and he didn’t want to go down that path.

“So,” he said once his dad had stepped back and adjust his huge ten-gallon cowboy hat. “Where’s Joanna this weekend?”

His dad’s shoulders slumped, but he straightened them quickly. “Oh, she’s off on a girls’ weekend with her sisters.”

A lie. Austin gaped at his father. He’d just lied to him. “Dad, what’s goin’ on with you two?”

“Nothing. She went to Dallas.” He unplugged the cord he’d been using to charge his phone and sent Austin a mega-watt smile.

Austin refused to be swayed. “Is she coming back?”

The answer flashed through his father’s brilliant blue eyes, and a flash of sorrow blitzed through Austin. “Dad. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” His father waved like he’d taken a wrong turn in the city, not like his second wife had just left him. “It’s fine. It’s not the focus of our weekend. C’mon. Let’s go up to the room and then we’ll go to dinner.” He started toward the elevator bank, and Austin grabbed his suitcase to follow.

He waited until they’d stepped inside the room to say, “What happened with Joanna?” He glanced around the room, which was clearly more than a basic place for sleeping. “Whoa. What’s with the fancy suite?”

Burgundy carpet stretched in every direction, with a full living room before them, and doors leading off both sides of it.

“I upgraded when you said you’d come.” His dad ushered Austin inside and closed the door behind him. “This room has a private hot tub.”

Austin blinked and saw red behind his closed eyelids. Then green. This suite probably cost as much for the weekend as he and his brothers paid for a month on the ranch. And if his father had this kind of money…. The loss of his childhood ranch seemed like such a waste. He and Shane and Dylan had bounced around for nothing. Tried to find a place to belong because of their father’s mistakes.

And you did, Austin told himself. First at Grape Seed Ranch, and now at Triple Towers. They were fine. Good, even. Maybe great.

His dad scurried around, pointing out the various amenities right in the room, and Austin wondered why he was trying to impress him. He stood there, in this luxurious suite he didn’t need, and watched his father blow around him like a cyclone.

Austin felt his dad’s anxiety, and he couldn’t understand it. “Dad,” he finally said. “Dad.”

His father finally stalled, came to a stop while showing off the espresso machine and looked at Austin with wide eyes.

“Slow down,” Austin said, disconcerted that he was acting like the adult here. “Let’s just go to dinner and worry about the gourmet coffees in the morning.”

A smile flashed across his dad’s face. “Dinner. Sure. I’ve got reservations at this great bistro across the courtyard.”

A bistro didn’t sound like the kind of food Austin wanted—and when had his father made a reservation? Confused, filled with adrenaline, and feeling very off his center, Austin followed his dad back down the hall and into the elevator.

By the time they sat down in the dimly let bistro, complete with a vase of roses on the table between them, Austin realized what was going on. “You had this weekend planned as a romantic getaway for you and Joanna.”

His dad didn’t look away from the menu. “I’d already spent the money. Now I get to spend the time with you.” He grinned, but his eyes didn’t settle on Austin.

He was still playing games. How Joanna had stayed with him for over a decade was a mystery to Austin, and he felt a little duped at the promise of a fun-filled weekend at the Luxury Lodge. His dad certainly knew Austin had loved this lodge as a kid.

Does it matter? Austin asked himself. They were here now, and they could have a great weekend without assumptions and manipulations.

“I don’t want to go,” Austin said. “But I don’t want to be lied to either.” He placed his arms over his menu, not having looked at it yet. He stared at his dad, willing him to look at him. Look at him now.

“I didn’t lie to you.”

“This was a romantic weekend with your wife,” Austin said. “And when she left you, you called and asked me to come spend the weekend like it was simply father-son time. What would you call that?”

“Improvising.”

“Dad.”

“All right.” His father let all the pretenses drop. “I just didn’t want the weekend to be such a bust.” He looked miserable, but Austin didn’t want to feel bad for him. He made his own bed. He had to learn how to sleep in it.

“And I hate being alone,” his father finished. “And no, Joanna isn’t coming home. So.” He blew out his breath. “I guess I’ll have to figure out how to stand being with myself.”

Austin had never heard his father speak so honestly, and it was a breath of fresh air. “It’s a good thing to figure out.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Austin wanted to tell him about Shay, but he wouldn’t be volunteering the information. His dad rarely asked anyone about their own lives, and Austin had learned to say, “Wow,” and “Yeah,” and “Oh,” during their conversations.

“It’s a good thing you’re still single,” his dad said. “Women are nothing but trouble.”

Austin blinked, unsure of how to answer. He finally came up with, “Shane and Dylan seem pretty happy.” And they did. So happy it made Austin see green sometimes. At least it had until the past few weeks, when he’d finally gotten Shay to stop fighting against her feelings and go out with him.

But he certainly wasn’t going to tell his dad about her now.

“Illusions,” his dad said.

Austin really didn’t want to talk about this, and he decided to be direct about it. “Let’s not get into all of Mom’s faults right now,” he said. “Or Joanna’s.” Because his dad would never admit his own flaws, Austin knew that. He picked up his menu. “What kind of sandwiches do they have here?”

By the time Austin pulled back into the ranch, he had enjoyed a couple of fun-filled days at the lodge he’d grown up loving. His father had made him angry a few times, but nothing Austin couldn’t handle.

He couldn’t wait until the next afternoon to see Shay, so he headed over to her house though it was dark and close to nine o’clock. They’d talked that morning; she knew he was coming home tonight. He’d texted a couple of hours ago; she hadn’t answered.

So his steps slowed, hesitating to a stop when he realized there was an unfamiliar car sitting in front of Shay’s cabin. A fancy sports car the same color as the night surrounding it.

She spilled out of the cabin, her laughter trilling into the sky, with a man right behind her.

Austin stopped, stone cold, his heart catapulting around inside his chest. He stood just outside the reach of her porch light, and neither of them saw him. She walked him to the car, all smiles and giggles, and he gave her a tight hug before climbing into the driver’s seat and backing up.

Austin got out of the way quick when he realized the headlights would illuminate him and show Shay that he’d snuck up on her again. He stood beside a tall tree trunk across the street and watched Shay wave to the car as it drove away.

In the resulting silence, her happy sigh carried to him. Then she turned and bounced back up the steps to her front door.

Austin stood in the shadows, wondering what in the world to do now.