Shay stalked back to her cabin, her fire angry and burning and hot, hot, hot. Why did Austin think he could ask her about things—girlfriend things—without giving her some time to think? Time to process?

She’d had a great day with him. A fun ride into church, and wow, she’d enjoyed the hand-holding and the leaning into his chest while the pastor delivered a fine sermon on forgiving others. Shay wasn’t super great at that, and she’d felt the need to get better. She would. Once she figured out how.

The chickens on the ranch laid beautiful eggs, and it had taken no time at all for them to get rid of all three hundred Austin had brought to the farmer’s market. And then he’d had to go and ruin their perfectly good day with questions. With labels. With frustration.

She thought back to Thursday night’s anger management meeting. Shawna had talked about self-training. Reasoning through a problem, finding your way through your specific brand of anger. Not only that, she’d mentioned training the people around you. She’d said she used to get even more furious when her husband would offer a solution to her problem.

“I didn’t need his help,” she’d said. “I just wanted his sympathy. His empathy. Not what I should’ve done or what I could do to fix whatever was going on. When I finally realized that—and told him—I stopped getting mad at him over something he really had nothing to do with.”

Shay burst out of her cabin, the door banging against the wall in such a way that said she’d have to fix the plaster later. Didn’t matter. All that mattered was finding Austin and talking to him. Lizzy and Molly trotted alongside her as she marched down the road toward the big house on the end.

She felt like her fists could knock down the homestead as she hammered on the door. “Comin’,” a man called, but it wasn’t Austin. Sure enough, Shane opened the door, looking sleepy and completely different without his cowboy hat. “Hey, Shay.” He rubbed his eyes. “Austin’s not here.”

“Do you know where he is?” It was a miracle she didn’t speak through clenched teeth. But this man was her boss, and she didn’t need to give Shane Royal a reason to dismiss her.

“I figured he was with you.” He looked over her shoulder to the ranch beyond. “He didn’t come home after church.”

“We’ve been back for twenty minutes.”

“Maybe the hen house, but he did that this morning.” He looked at her and shrugged, the hint of an apology in his eyes. “Sorry.”

Shay nodded. “I can text him.” She backed up a step before turning and practically flying down the steps. She didn’t want to text Austin. She wanted to catch him by surprise the way he constantly seemed to do to her. “Come on, girls,” she said to the dogs, and they happily came with her. Molly, the more sensitive of the two German shepherds drifted closer to Shay, finally settling her walk in step with Shay’s.

She knew of two other places he liked almost as well as the chicken coops. His house and the equipment shed. He didn’t normally work in either on Sundays, but only completed mandatory chores. But if he wasn’t at the homestead, he had to be holed up somewhere.

Bypassing his house—it didn’t even have appliances yet—she went for the equipment shed. The lighting ceremony was in only a few hours, and he was no doubt checking everything for the fifth time. It hadn’t been hard to tell in the week they’d been working to put the Christmas decorations up that this old tradition held some meaning for him. Somehow.

Sure enough, she knew the man was in the equipment shed as soon as she entered. She wasn’t sure how, but it could’ve been because she heard something rattle and bang near the electrical boxes on the south side. Or the lingering scent of his cologne in the air. Or the way her soul seemed forever called toward his.

He glanced up and saw her when she was still several paces away. Settling on his back foot, he gripped the jumble of lights they hadn’t used in one fist as his expression darkened.

Face-to-face with him, some of her fury faded. Fascinating, she thought. Before he’d shown up at that anger management class a week and a half ago, spending time with him had been a form of torture. Seeing him and his brothers prancing around her ranch had inflicted her with anger so fierce she hadn’t been able to calm it without help.

But now…she could look at him and come down from the fury inch by inch.

“What are you doin’ here?” he asked. “Come to play more games with my head?” Bitterness and sarcasm dripped from every word, and Shay balked, unsure what to do with the emotion coming from him. He’d taken all of her abuse over the months, willfully submitting to her chastisement over the simplest of tasks.

Austin glared at her. “I’m not interested in this, Shay. I’m already mad.”

“You’re mad?” Her fingers clenched into fists.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” He pressed his lips together and lightning coursed through his eyes. “Leave me be.”

She stalked a few steps closer. “Why are you mad?”

He gave her an exaggerated sigh, those eyes still storming with anger. “Because you keep giving me mixed signals. You’re cuddling up to me at church, and flirting with me in the truck, or giggling as we walk into a restaurant. And the next thing I know, you’ve shut down, won’t talk, won’t even look at me.” He flung the lights to the workbench and turned away.

Shay’s heart shriveled, right there in her chest. She’d already hurt him.

“Why are you mad?” he asked.

“Who says I’m mad?”

“You came in here hissin’ like a cat who just got tossed in a pond,” he said, his head bent. “Not hard to see, Shay.”

She let a moment of silence pass before saying, “I’m mad because I need more time to process things before I answer.” She straightened her thoughts, trying to see past the anger. “You ask me questions non-stop, and sometimes I’m not expecting them. I don’t know how to react. I need time to think. Or even a heads-up, like hey, I want to talk to you about being my girlfriend later. Okay? Then I have time to think. You give me no time to think.”

At some point during her speech, he’d turned to face her. He blinked and said, “I don’t ask you questions non-stop.”

“You do,” she insisted. “I’m…I’m not used to sharing my life with someone else. It’s really hard for me.”

The fire in his eyes cooled. “Surely you had friends in the Army. People you shared your life with.”

“Surface stuff,” she said. “You…you want me to go deep. You want me to tell you stuff I haven’t told anyone, Austin.” Her insides felt jiggly, and tears—actual tears—stung the back of her eyes. “Anyone,” she said again.

They stood facing one another, glaring, for at least ten full seconds. Shay couldn’t tell. It felt like an eternity. Finally, Austin swept into her personal space, taking her fully into his arms, just as her first tear leaked out of her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair, his arms glorious and strong and perfect around her. “I didn’t realize I was asking so much of you.”

“I know that now,” she said into his chest. “This is all new for me, and I’m terrified, and I—I—” She couldn’t tell him she had no intentions of marrying. Ever. Not him. Not anyone.

He managed to keep her close and move far enough away to look into her eyes. He wiped her tears gently, lovingly, and she wanted to give her heart to him. But she’d seen what had happened to her father without his most vital part. And she couldn’t give up that piece of herself. Wouldn’t.

“I’m just a lowly cowboy from San Antonio,” he whispered. “Playing ranch here until I figure out how to do it properly. Nothin’ to be afraid of.”

She shook her head, completely unable to explain. At least her blasted tears had quieted, but she couldn’t quite look him in the eye and she let herself focus on his collar instead.

“Maybe you can tell me why you’re so scared sometime,” he said, gently pushing his fingers through her hair in such a way that lit her scalp on fire.

“Doesn’t have to be today,” he added quickly. A smile brushed his lips. “And I’d really like to have that girlfriend talk soon.” He lifted her chin so she’d look at him. “Okay? You can tell me what you want to tell me, when you want to. But I should be clear—I want to know everything about you. Everything. Good. Bad. Ugly. Past. Present. Hopes for the future.” He swallowed, a measure of fear entering his own expression. “See, I lied.”

“You did?” Shay relaxed her grip on his biceps, glad she felt like she could support her own weight now.

He nodded slowly, seriously. “Yeah. When I said I wasn’t interested in this. Big, fat lie.”

Shay dug past the deep well of fear right in the middle of her gut. “That’s what scares me the most.”

He tilted his head, narrowed his eyes, clearly trying to understand. “You seem interested too.”

“I am,” she said.

“And that’s what scares you.”

No, not really, but Shay couldn’t vocalize what lay at the root of her horror. At least not right now. So she just nodded.

“Can I ask you one more question?” he asked.

“Only if you’re okay with me not answering it.”

A flicker of light ran through his eyes. “All right. How many boyfriends have you had?”

“Two,” she said, glad this question was relatively easy.

“And you didn’t talk to them about personal stuff?”

“It wasn’t like this.” She tucked herself back into his chest, liking the steady thu-thump of his heartbeat comforting her in a way she’d never experienced before. “They were military boys. No one in the shop was interested in a female mechanic, and even if they were, I was too busy trying to prove myself to notice.”

“So nothing serious?”

“Not even close to serious.”

“Hm.” Austin swayed slightly, and Shay moved with him, relieved and grateful her fury had gone from the raging animal stomping out of her cabin to this much more peaceful feeling of standing in Austin’s arms. She knew which she preferred. She just didn’t know if she could hold onto it for much longer.

Darkness fell a few hours later, and Austin sat beside her on the front steps of the homestead as the first pair of headlights cut a path down the lane.

“They’re here,” he murmured. “I hope this works.”

“We’ve tested it,” she said. “It’s going to work.” But a trickle of trepidation tiptoed through her too. Four, five, six trucks arrived, and men started jumping down from the beds in the back and spilling out of the cabs. Shane, Dylan, and Robin came out of the homestead, bringing the scent of warm chocolate and sugar with them. Conversations started, laughter lifted into the air, and Austin stood to help set up the table that would hold the doughnuts and hot cocoa they’d promised.

Treats got eaten, and Shay got introduced to a bunch of cowboys whose names she’d probably forget before the lighting ceremony. But they all knew Austin, and he seemed glad they’d come. So she pinned a smile to her face and shook their hands, glad he didn’t introduce her as his girlfriend.

“All right,” Shane finally said. “Should we do this? We’ve all got to work in the morning.”

“Work shmirk,” Dylan said, grinning.

“We’re ready,” Austin said. He exchanged a glance with Shay, who nodded, and then Shane, who gestured for him to continue. “All right. Thanks for comin’. So the Triple Towers Ranch used to have a tradition of decorating the ranch buildings, fields, and homestead for the holidays. Townspeople used to come out and drive through as part of the festivities, and we’ve dusted off all the old decorations, added a few new ones, and we want to share them with you.”

Silence followed his speech, and he smiled. “So give us two shakes, and we’ll get this place lit up. You’re welcome to drive around. The best view is out by the towers, but I might be biased.”

Shay knew what he liked the best—the same thing she did. The huge star on the tall water tower. There was simply something magical about it, as if it truly marked where the Christ child lay in His manger.

Austin nodded toward the homestead and she followed him inside, through it, and into the backyard, where her two German shepherds were playing with Shane’s sheltie and Dylan’s shepherd.

“You ready?” Austin asked, locking eyes with her as he put his hand on the breaker that would send electricity to the equipment shed, which would send the power to everything they’d worked tirelessly to set up.

She put her hand over his. “Ready.” Together, they pulled it down, and the loud clanking was followed by the buzz of electricity and then the roof of the house blazed to life with white, red, and green lights.

A shout went up from the front yard, and Austin grinned. “C’mon, beautiful. Let’s go see it in the dark.” He bent down and swept a kiss along her forehead before scurrying back through the sliding glass door.

Shay stayed in the backyard for a few moments, reliving that quick touch of his lips to her skin. Absently, her fingers drifted up to her hairline as if she’d feel a physical remnant of his kiss.

A wet nose met her hand, jolting her out of the stupor. “Go play, Lizzy,” she told the dog before following Austin. After all, she wanted to ride with him in the back of his sister-in-law’s huge truck, huddling in close to stay warm as they experienced the magic of Christmas on Triple Towers Ranch together.