Chapter 18

Alise went up to the guestroom that Chloe had pointed out earlier.  Her suitcase was on the bed, and with nothing else to do, she rifled through it, pulled out a cute velvety pair of joggers and a matching top.  Snagging a pair of panties, a bottle of coconut scented lotion, a brush, q-tips, and a pair of thick socks, she stacked the items on her pile of clothes and made her way to the ensuite bathroom.  All through blasting on the shower, laying out her clothes and toiletries, Alise avoided looking at herself in the mirror.  She couldn’t.  She didn’t want to see what it was that Chief saw.  A woman lacking. 

Tears clouding her vision, Alise stripped out of her clothes with her back to the mirror.  She wondered what it was about Chloe that had made Dell decide to keep her.  She was the human woman the two girls had been talking about.  Her daughters.  Chloe BlackBird, mate to the Alpha of the BlackBird pack, was once human…just like Alise.  But unlike Alise, Dell had decided to not only keep Chloe, but he’d changed her too.

Stepping into the shower, she dumped shampoo into her palm and wondered what it would be like to be a shifter. 

Fucking awesome, she decided.

Long minutes passed with her thinking about racing through the forest in wolf form.  All through her shower, she thought on the pros and cons of being a shifter.  She thought on how it would change her life, and whether or not she’d welcome that change.  As she dried her hair she decided that watching her best friend Alex fall for Skin Walker, Recker Rhodes, had been eye-opening.  Alex had become a totally different person, and Alise knew it was the person that Alex was always meant to be.  She wanted that too, but it didn’t matter what she wanted.  It didn’t matter if she’d accept being changed or if she would enjoy a life mated to a shifter…because Chief didn’t want her.

Dressing quickly, she stayed facing away from the mirror as she brushed and braided her hair and cried quietly.  Always the bridesmaid.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Alise was lost in self-pity.  She didn’t even see Chief sitting on the end of the bed until he asked, “You been crying?”

Head snapping up, Alise slammed to a halt.  Instantly, her defenses went up.

“No,” she clipped out.  “I got soap in my eyes.”

With a snarl, Chief shoved up off the bed.  “We can scent lies.”

“Good for you.”  She skirted around him and went to her open suitcase.  She stowed her dirty clothes and toiletries inside and then took extra minutes re-folding clothes because she didn’t know what else to do.

“I’m sorry,” Chief muttered.  “I’ve fucked this all up.”

She didn’t respond.

“Are…are you hungry?”

Trying to remember the last time she ate, she was startled to realize it was the breakfast that Chief had made for her that morning.  God, it’s only been one day!  It felt so much longer.  They’d been through so much and finally stopping to take stock of herself she realized that she was drained and famished. 

“I’m starving.”

Her admission had Chief stalking toward the door.  “I’ll bring you food.”

When he left, she wondered if he was bringing her food because he didn’t want her waltzing around the house.  She wondered if he was hiding her.  She wondered if he was embarrassed of her.

***

Inside of Chief, Beast was snarling.  They were doing a shit job of taking care of their mate.  She was famished and regardless of what she’d said, he knew she’d been crying in the bathroom.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, he hurried down the stairs and made his way to the kitchen.

When he caught sight of Mama stirring a pot of something on the stove, he almost considered leaving and coming back later.  Nah, Alise was hungry, and if he had to face an army to get her fed, he’d do it.

“Your woman must be hungry,” Mama spoke without turning around.  “She’s had a long day.”

“Yeah,” he admitted.  “She is.  I haven’t been taking very good care of her.”

Mama grinned over her shoulder.  “Well, you just found her.  It’ll take a minute.”  Pointing a wooden spoon and the kitchen island, Mama directed, “Sit, I’ll make you both something.”

Doing as directed, Chief glanced at the window.  It was dark out now, but that didn’t mean it was late.  In Montana, it was dark more often than it was light.

“You’ve decided to keep her.”  Stepping away from the stove, Mama rummaged through a cupboard and pulled out a large serving tray before ladling soup into two bowls and placing them on it.  “I’m glad.”

“I thought Monroe made it happen,” he admitted quietly.  “I thought it was arranged, so I was reluctant to get attached.”

“But you did anyway,” Mama supplied.

She was right.  He did.

“I said some shit…” he glanced up.  “Stuff,” he amended quickly.  “I said some stuff about her being a human and it hurt her feelings.”

“Your words didn’t hurt her feelings.  You did that.”

Well, this little talk wasn’t making him feel any better.

“You’re right,” he conceded.  “But I wanna fix it.”

“And you don’t know how.”  Mama buttered two thick pieces of still-steaming bannock bread and set them on the tray.  Stopping her work, she shook her head.  “Alpha’s have a hard time admitting when they’re wrong.  They’re not used to apologizing.”

“Exactly,” Chief muttered.

Mama pointed her butter coated knife at him, “But it doesn’t mean they don’t know how.  My Dell and Chloe had a difficult time at first.  All you young people have this vision of what you think your life should be.  You let it get in the way of what you need.”  Carrying the tray over to the island, she set it in front of Chief.  “Especially males.  You all struggle so hard with what’s right and what’s wrong.  You think true wolves do that?  No!” she answered for him.  “Wild wolves don’t hem and haw over what they should and shouldn’t do.  They don’t fret over who wants what.  They find a mate, they claim her, and they protect and covet her all their days.  That simple.  Maybe you should do that.”  She pushed the tray toward him.  “Maybe, for now, you just focus on your mate’s immediate needs.  Food, warmth, rest, protection, and companionship.  You can do those things.  Can’t you?”

With a slow nod, Chief said, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good,” Mama gave him her back and went back to her soup with an ordered, “Then go do them.”

Chief took the tray and made to exit the kitchen when Mama halted him.  “And Chief, don’t go giving that Monroe StoneCrow so much credit.  He may think he’s figured out a loophole with his people, but it’s about to bite him in the ass.  And he’s nowhere near discovering our secrets.”  With a snort of offense she scoffed to herself, “He’s not that damn powerful.”

  Back in their room, Chief stood near the door while Chloe pulled out a TV tray that had been propped in the corner.  Setting it up, she pulled a chair to one end before taking a seat on the bed.  Chief liked that she set the table for two instead of just taking her food and asking him to leave.

Setting the tray down, he opened both cans of Coke on it before handing one to Alise.

She drank long and deep, and it made him feel like shit for not taking better care of her.

Taking up her spoon, Alise stirred her bowl of soup.  “What’s this?”

“It’s called bullets.”  Chief stirred his own.  “It’s just seasoned broth, rice, potatoes, and venison meatballs.  It’s really good.”

Alise took a few bites and then beamed up at Chief.  “It’s really good!”

He was glad she liked it.  When she reached for her bread, he explained, “That’s bannock.  It’s made like one giant biscuit.  When it’s done you just rip pieces off.”

Alise bit into the buttery bread and closed her eyes with a moan that had Chief’s body tensing at the sound.

“So good,” she spoke around the bite.

Forcing his attention from Alise, Chief dug into his own food.  Alsie was right.  The food was damn good. 

Chief chewed slowly, wanting to talk to Alise about the mate marks she wanted to exchange.  He wanted to tell her he was sorry for treating her so poorly, but Mama was right.  Finding the words was difficult, so they ate in a strained silence until their bowls were empty and all the bread was gone.  Falling back on the bed, Alise flattened a hand over her stomach.  “I’m so full.”

Chief’s eyes though were locked on that hand.  A hand that looked like it could be protecting a little life beneath.

Fffffuck!  They’d been stricken one damn day, and already he was envisioning Alise swollen with his cub.

Shoving up from his chair, he collected the tray and looked at Alise as she sat up.  “I’m gonna take this stuff down.  Do you need anything else before you turn in?”  He glanced at the room.  “Want a glass of water?  How’s the temperature?  You need more blankets?” 

Alise turned and looked over her shoulder at the bed before frowning up at him.  “Where will you sleep?”

He liked the hint of worry in her tone but was quick to vanquish it.  “I’ll shift and sleep in front of the door.  Beast has to stay close, and guarding your door might just let us both get some sleep tonight.”

“On the floor?” Alise twisted her hands together.  “That doesn’t sound comfortable.”

“We’re used to it.”

Looking at the bed again, Alise offered, “I could stay on my side, I…”

“No,” Chief bit out.  He didn’t want her being uncomfortable all night trying to stay on her side. She deserved a good night’s rest, and Mama was right.  Giving her what she needed shouldn’t be that hard.  Still, the look that passed over Alise’s face told him that his immediate rebuff was wrong. Give her what she needs!  “It’s been a long almost two days, Alessandra.  You deserve a good night’s sleep, and while I’d love nothing more than sharing your bed…to sleep!  I-I think you deserve better than that.”  Jerking a thumb over his shoulder toward the door he offered, “I’m gonna plant myself just on the other side of the door.  Beast needs out anyway, and making sure no one messes with your sleep will make us feel like we’re doing something worthwhile.”  He eyed the bed.  “Don’t get me wrong.  Sleeping beside you would be…it’d be perfect, but like I said, it’s been a long two days.” He backed up with the tray in his hands.  “But if you need anything.  Anything,” he stressed, “I’ll be just outside your door.”

“Does…does it hurt?”

He stilled.

“Letting Beast out?  Does it hurt?”

One corner of his mouth lifted.  “Nah.  I’m really good at shifting now.”

Smoothing a hand over her thigh, Alise watched it as she murmured, “I would have liked to have seen it, to have met him.”

You will, sweetheart.  You will.  Backing out the door, he said, “I’ll be just outside.”