Chapter 9

Alise woke surprised that she’d even been able to fall asleep.  Instantly, the events of the night before plowed into her, and she pinched her eyes shut as her gut tightened.  Pulling the covers up to her chin, her nose was instantly flooded with that familiar scent that did funny things to her belly.  The blankets smelled like a mixture of frost and smoke.  If Montana had a scent, this would be it, and it was all him…Chief. 

Snapping her eyes open, Alise let her head roll to the side where she stared at the pre-dawn light that filtered in through the window and slanted in a beam landing on the hardwood floor.  Dust motes danced in the warm rays and Alise watched them a moment as she contemplated where she went from here.  Being away from Chief wasn’t an option, yet staying near him had butterflies kicking around in her middle.  Worse, the heavy weight of guilt pressed on her chest when she thought about James and how she’d completely ditched out on him last night.  Sure, she’d had that attack…  No, she’d been stricken.  That’s what wolf-shifters called it.  She’d been stricken and unable to keep her word to save a dance for James, and she couldn’t even go to him now or even see him, not unless she got Chief to agree.  Yeah, like that would ever happen.  She didn’t know much about Chief, but one thing she knew for certain already was that he was definitely the jealous type.  No, not jealous.  Her brows furrowed in thought.  She’d read somewhere that men were only jealous of things others had that they wished they had too.  They grew territorial though when others attempted to take something the man already considered his.  In Chief’s eyes, Alise was already his—at least until he proved Monroe had set this up somehow.  So where did that leave her?    

Rolling onto her side, she pulled her knees up, eyes still on the dancing motes.  Stuck in the middle.

Worry filled her, and she hated it.  She hated worrying and being afraid and right now she was both, and it was suffocating.  She’d been hurt before by a man who couldn’t love, and she’d been stuck for a really long time staring at herself in the mirror and trying to see in herself the same flaws he’d so readily pointed out.  It had taken her a long time to learn how to toughen up, to learn to see herself again through her own eyes.  She’d pulled herself up off her knees by her own damn hair and she sure as hell wasn’t cowing now, not for any man.  She refused to let it happen every again because she wasn’t flawed.  And she sure as hell wasn’t perfect, but she always tried to be kind, and overcoming her self-doubt and fear had been damn near impossible.  Being swamped by both now felt like a thousand steps backward.  It felt like re-writing her past, and she wasn’t about that.  She didn’t like looking backward, she wasn’t going that way.

Crawling from the bed, Alise was determined to not fall back into the hole she’d spent so damn long digging herself out of.

Crossing to the bathroom, she used the facilities, washed her hands and face, and brushed with a new toothbrush she found in the drawer.  She’d showered last night to get all the forest crud from her hair and had braided her long tresses into a damp twist before slipping on one of Chief’s oversized t-shirts and a pair of his boxers that she’d had to knot at the side just to keep from sliding off. 

Re-braiding her hair, she eyed her clothes and wondered what she was supposed to wear.  Obviously, she couldn’t traipse around the cabin in Chief’s oversized clothes, but she couldn’t get back into her ripped dress either.  Looking behind the door for a robe, she found none, so she went to search the bedroom.  Nope, nada! 

Shit!  She considered hiding out in the room until Chief came to find her but decided she was braver than that.  Besides, her skin was itching, and she knew it wasn’t from last night’s soapy shower.  No, this was that need to be near Chief that was starting to feel like caffeine withdrawals.

Sucking in a breath, she threw her shoulders back and lifted her chin haughtily, like wearing an oversized t-shirt that hung practically to her knees and hid the boxers beneath was the height of fashion. 

Jerking the door open, the scent of food slammed into her and had her belly instantly growling.  It smelled really good like coffee and bacon and Alise realized she hadn’t eaten anything last night at the reception.  She was ravenous.

Taking the stairs slowly, she looked around for Chief, and when she didn’t immediately see him, her steps grew more relaxed.

On the table was a plate with a towel over it and a note that read, ‘On the porch getting some air.  Eat.’

“Eat,” she mouthed mockingly as she pulled a face and bowed her arms out like she was a big burly guy.

Lifting the towel off the plate, she wasn’t even disappointed at how quickly her mockery fled.  Dropping onto the bench seat, she attacked a plate of crisp bacon, still steaming pancakes, and perfectly cooked eggs-over-easy that were still hot.  Chewing she wondered how Chief had timed everything so perfectly.  Shrugging, she kept right on eating.  Stabbing a big bite of pancakes, she slathered it in syrup before lifting the fork to her mouth.  It stalled halfway there when the front door opened, and Chief entered.

As soon as he stepped into the room, the itchy-skin feeling she’d been having disappeared.  A sigh of relief left her and her eyes rounded in embarrassment as they locked with Chief’s.

His brows snapped into a frown.  “If you needed me why didn’t you call out?”

Shoving the bite into her mouth to buy some time for an excuse, she started shaking her head, but he was already moving toward her.  In four long strides, he was across the room. 

Lifting a leg, he straddled the bench seat and lowered himself until Alise was nestled between his spread legs.  One of his thighs pressed into her ass.  The other brushed her knee, but Chief’s hands weren’t so contained.  One hand lifted to curl around the back of her neck while the other shoved up the hem of her long shirt and settled on her knee.  Contradictory emotions flooded her as her body tensed even as relief washed over her.

Dropping her fork, she stared hard at her plate.

“What’s wrong?”

Swallowing the bite in her mouth, she licked her lips.  “N-nothing.”

“Alise,” he clipped out impatiently, “What’s wrong?”

Angling her face away from his she clenched her jaw before answering.  “I don’t like being touched.”

He kept his hands in place, and there was a smirk in his voice when he said, “But it feels good.”

It wasn’t a question.  Clearly, he already knew the answer, so she didn’t bother giving him one.

“It’s alright,” he squeezed her knee.  “This is new to us both.  Things are changing.  If you need something from me, take it.”

Take it!  Like it was really that simple.  Little ‘ol teeny her wasn’t simply taking anything from a man like Chief… Chief…  Canting her head, she asked, “What’s your last name?”

With a quirk to his lips, he said, “SpeaksThunder.”

“Wow,” she mumbled and when he shot her a quizzical look she explained, “That name sounds powerful.  Sounds like it means something.”

“It does,” he drawled.

Deciding to change topics, Alise swallowed hard and asked, “Were you able to make that phone call last night?”  She doubted it because she’d seen the still smashed up phone when she’d come down, but it was something to talk about.

“Yeah,” he surprised her by answering. 

Whipping her head around she tried to read his expression.  When she failed to determine if he was serious or not she asked, “How?  You left?”  Her tone sounded accusatory even to her own ears, and Chief didn’t miss it either if his chuckle was anything to go by.

“Nah, sweetheart.  I never left you.”

“Then how?”

“It’s a long story, but I did talk to Dell.”

“Aaaand?  What did you find out?”

Turning serious, Chief pulled his hands away from her and stood.  Dishes clattered as he cleaned up the kitchen.  “Dell doesn’t think Monroe has the ability to force a stricken.”

Alise blinked unseeing at the table.  “So…it’s real?”

“Don’t know.  Dell said he didn’t think Monroe could do it.  Doesn’t mean he can’t.” 

“Christ,” Alise hissed and scratched at the itch that was back in her arms.  Shoving her plate away from her, she stood and faced Chief.  “So how do we find out?  For sure!  For real!”

His hands stalled in their task of filling the sink with water.  “Dunno.  Jenny maybe.”

“Jenny maybe,” she mocked in a masculine tone, earning herself a dark look.  “Look!”  Burying a hand in her hair, she paced to the door and back.  “I need this resolved. One way or the other, I need to know what in the hell is happening.  And you’re not…”  Her words died off.

Slapping the faucet off, Chief fisted a towel and dried his hands as he faced her with a scowl.  “I’m not what?”

“You’re not helping,” she accused.  “You’re acting like this is no big deal.  You’re making breakfast,” she waved frantically toward the table, “and making calls that aren’t helping.  And I need to know!”

“Calm down.  You needed to eat.  We’ll go see Jenny today.”

“No!  Not today.  Now!”

Something flashed across Chief’s expression as he asked, “So eager to be rid of me?”

“I just need to know.  I came here with an agenda and if I suddenly have a boyfriend, I…”

His mocking laugh cut her off.  “Boyfriend?”  With a shake of his head, his humor fled.  “It’s a little more than that, sweetheart.  Try mates!”  

“I’m not your sweetheart,” she growled.  “And certainly not your mate!” 

She didn’t know why she was so argumentative this morning.  Maybe it was because she’d hoped things would have changed overnight, at least physically anyway.  They hadn’t.  The instant she saw Chief, she exhaled a sigh of humiliating relief.  And as soon as he touched her, everything felt right.  She didn’t know if she’d be able to handle it if this wasn’t real.  How was she supposed to just turn all of this off?  The implications were terrifying because it felt like she was back under another man’s thumb.  A place she’d sworn never to be again.

“You’re acting crazed.  Calm down.  We’ll see Jenny when…”

It was her turn to cut him off.

“Don’t talk to me like that!” she snapped.  Crazed?  She hated the term.  Her ex had always told her she was ‘crazy’.  She was insane for going through his phone.  She was ‘crazy’ when she’d sworn she’d seen him in town with another woman.  He’d made her feel like she was losing her mind when she’d been right all along.

Planting his hands on his lean hips, Chief let his head fall back as he pushed out a slow breath and muttered, “Give me strength.”

And that offended her too.  Apparently, everything did this morning.  It pissed her off that she was acting like a shrew, but she couldn’t help it.  She was afraid, and without a phone or the ability to be away from Chief, she felt trapped.  It was his fault!  If he hadn’t been watching her at the reception, none of this would have happened. 

“I wanna see James.”  The words were out before she could check them, and when Chief’s head snapped down, and he dropped his arms, she knew she’d said the wrong thing.

“No,” he bit out on a low rumble.  Golden eyes going dark, he amended, “Fuck no!”

She wanted to press the issue but knew better.  Even as a human she could feel the menace that was emanating from him.

“Ask for him again,” Chief warned, “and you’ll get that boy killed.”

Crossing her arms over her chest repentantly, Alise lowered her eyes.  She didn’t look up when Chief moved, and she startled when the front door slammed closed so hard that a picture fell off the wall and shattered on the floor.

Alone, she questioned her actions.  None of this was Chief’s fault.  She was just striking out at whoever she could and there was only him.  And why?  Because she felt disjointed.  She felt like she was in a dream, like her head couldn’t keep up with reality and was racing to get in sync. 

Wringing her hands, she paced the small kitchen. Mind reeling, she tried to take in all that he’d said, but it didn’t make sense.  Mates!  Like Alex and Recker?  Was it even possible? 

She stopped pacing and blinked out of her thoughts only to realize her heart was racing a mile-a-minute, and her breathing was way too fast and shallow, coming out in ragged pants.  Was this a panic attack, or was she having a reaction to having chased Chief off? 

Glancing at the window, she rushed to it and peeked out.  Chief was nowhere in sight.  He’d left her!

Racing upstairs, she looked out the loft window and with still no sight of Chief, she shoved her feet into her high heels and hurried back downstairs.  Flattening a hand on her chest, Alise forced herself to slow her breathing, but it didn’t feel right.  Pacing, her heels clicked on the a steady cadence on the hardwood floors.  The air in the cabin felt too thick and hot.  It felt like she was trying to inhale steaming porridge. 

In a flash, she was at the front door jerking it open.  She needed fresh air, she needed space.

Alise hurried down the front porch stairs and walked as fast as she could into the woods behind the cabin.  Dressed like an idiot, she couldn’t care.  She just needed to catch her breath.  She just needed to breathe!  Everything would be okay once she got a decent breath!   

Hand still flattened on her chest, she walked fast, gulping in great lungs-full of cold mountain air as the Montana wind blasted her in the face.  Normally it would have stung, but it didn’t.  The cold felt good.  It helped ease the crawling sensation that was taking over her skin.

Sucking in another great mouthful of air, she choked on her emotion but forced the sound of weakness back.  No sobbing, no crying!  She kept walking, blinking against the wind that stung her eyes.  She told herself it was just the wind making her eyes flood with tears.

Concentrating on regulating her breathing, Alise stepped into a clearing.  Her feet slammed to a halt when she saw Chief. 

He’d been standing in front of a tall ponderosa pine, one hand over his hand and pressed into the bark as he leaned into the tree.  Instantly, his head whipped around like she’d startled him.  When his eyes narrowed on her, they were hard and cold. 

“What are you doing outside?” he barked.

“Not…not following you,” she stammered.  “I need…needed air.”

They stared at each other under the blanket of a tense silence for long minutes.  Alise couldn’t help but once again admire the sheer size of him.  He was as impressive as any of the pines towering all around them.  Just as strong too.  He made her feel small.  Hell, he made the forest feel small.  He made everything feel small. 

A gust of wind kicked up and mussed his long dark bangs.  With a jerk of his chin, he ordered, “Go back to the cabin.”

“No.”  Her response was immediate, out before she could even consider it, but fuck that.  She refused to be ordered around by anyone including a supposed potential mate.

Eyes flashing a bright gold, Chief demanded, “Go home before I take you there!”

Steeling herself, Alise balled her hands into tight fists, pissed that her heart rate was hiking when she’d just been getting it to go down. 

“That’s not my home.  It’s yours.  And I don’t know what’s happening or what people are saying.”  She swallowed hard on a stall deciding if she wanted to say the next words.  Yeah, she did.  “But I ain’t yours.  I want this fixed.  Take me to Jenny.”

Chief’s lip ticked up, his jaw clenching for just a flash before he tore his fiery gaze from her and stared out at the forest. 

He didn’t deny her words and while it stung a little, what had hurt more was the way he’d stormed out of the cabin.  He didn’t want this any more than she did.  Hell, they hadn’t even laid eyes on each other until just last night.  There was no way he could want this.  Could he? 

As hard as it was right now, Alise tried to think about things from Chief’s point of view.  Clearly, he wasn’t happy about things either, but he didn’t say much.  Honestly, it had her feeling lacking and insecure.   “I-I’m not what you thought I’d be…am I?”

He just shot her a hard look but didn’t answer.  She took advantage of the opportunity to imagine what he’d been thinking while he’d been watching her at the wedding.  She’d gone out of her way to look extra pretty for James, but it was her kind of pretty.  The other bridesmaids looked elegant.  Stoney had gone all soft looking with her short blonde hair set in delicate waves.  Cindy had her short hair styled perfectly in a chic sweep of black bangs with her hair shaved at the sides.  Both women had opted for soft pink polish on their manicured nails while Alise donned her favorite dark polish, Blue My Mind, on nails she kept short.  She’d also pulled her hair up into a ponytail because it had been windy and she hadn’t wanted to mess with her waist-length tresses all day.  Worse, the bridesmaids had all gotten to pick the color and style of their gowns, and while Stoney and Cindy had chosen graceful peach and soft pink strappy numbers, Alise had gone with a Cascadia blue gown that hung off one shoulder, showing her tattoos.  The color of the dress actually clashed pretty hard with her nail color too.  Hell, she’d even painted her lips a vibrant red because it had been fun, not thinking how loud she probably looked.  She must have looked like a hot mess to Chief.  Right now, he was probably thinking she was some shitty consolation prize.

“I get it,” she bit out.  “You said all women are soft.  Hot boys like soft girls.  Men expect softness.  But I’m not soft.  Not even close.”  Lifting her chin with feigned confidence Alise prayed her voice didn’t tremble when she said, “I don’t have a fragile bone in my body.  I get it.  Guys like you need hummingbirds, and that ain’t me.  I’m a phoenix.  We’ll never work.” 

Alise turned to stomp off into the woods sucking back stinging tears when Chief’s words stopped her.  

“I don’t like soft things,” he growled low and deep.  When he spoke again, his voice was so quiet that Alise had to strain to hear him.  “I told you that.  I crush soft things, Alessandra,” he muttered and then added more loudly, “I break fragile bones.  I don’t have the patience for anything as delicate as a hummingbird.”

Alise slid a slow glance over her shoulder, her eyes colliding with his as he turned to face her. 

“You’re wrong about you too.   You’re human, and that makes you fragile as fuck in my book.  You couldn’t handle a beast like me.  Honestly, I have no idea what in the fuck fate was thinking throwing us together.”

His words stung and had Alise swallowing hard against the emotion that tried to wrench its way up her throat.  Nope.  Still not crying.  Not here, not today!  “Thanks for making the pain stop while you could.”  Turning she strode away from him determined not to cry until she was as far from him as possible.

“You can’t leave.”

Alise didn’t even bother stopping as she said, “Fragile as fuck or not, I do what I want!”

“Alise!”  Her name was barked with a fierce growl that had chills blasting up her spine.  Suddenly, it felt dangerous having him at her back, and the fine hairs all along her body rose in testament. 

“The pain will come back,” he threatened.  “You know it will.”

She slowed to a halt but didn’t turn to face him.  Facing the woods, she waited for him to say what he had to say.

“It’s subsided temporarily because we’re in each other’s presence.  But…it comes back.  And the further away from each other we are, the worse it gets.”

Breathing out hard, she felt her chest tighten with that heavy weight that had been pressing down on her since she’d been stricken at the reception.  Lifting her head, she blinked up at the sky.  Why is this happening to me?  What did I ever do?  Closing her eyes she breathed in as best she could, but the tightness in her chest was constricting.  Lowering her head, she turned to face him.  “How do we fix it then?”

Chief’s body was rigid.  Even from this distance, she could feel the tension rolling off of him in waves.  She wondered if he felt hers too.  Scanning his face, her gaze locked on eyes that were still flashing that molten gold.  He was beautiful and lethal, and that had her thinking about his inner animal.  He’d said he was a wolf-shifter and that had her thinking about his wolf.  He’d called it a monster, a beast.  She didn’t doubt for a second that he was something fierce and predatory, something deadly.  It was evident in the fierce glint in Chief’s eyes.  It was obvious in the dominant weight of his authority, the lithe grace of his movements, and the lethal power wound up in his body.  Stalking toward her, his muscles bunched and flexed as he slowly closed the distance between them.

Alise nearly backed away from him but forced herself at the last minute to remain where she was.  Something told her not to run from this man and his beast. 

The protocol for encountering a grizzly in the wild flashed to mind.  Don’t run.  Stay put.  Play dead.  She almost laughed at the last.  Play dead? Not happening!  She’d already spent the last few years feeling dead inside, and she’d only just come back to life.  She sure as hell wasn’t letting some shifter with a God complex force her head back underwater. 

Lifting her chin, she met his hard look with one of her own.  “I’m not afraid of you.”  Pride filled her at the fact that her voice didn’t quiver.

In front of her, Chief’s brows speared down.  “That’s a lie.  And one you don’t have to use.  You’re afraid of me, woman.  As you should be.”

He brushed passed her and Alise turned to watch him stalk back toward the cabin.

***

Chief wanted to pick Alise up and haul her back to his cabin.  He resisted the urge.  If she knew what was good for her, she’d follow without being told or forced.  Walking past her, his arm brushed hers, and he felt an electric charge pass through them with even that minimal contact.  It felt like a lightning bolt shot straight to his nuts, and he had to clench his teeth hard to keep from going down.  Sucking in a sharp breath through his nose was just as torturous.  With his heightened senses, the scent of her was overpowering.  Coconut, lime, and sugar.  Even in pain, his lips curled up.  His mate smelled like an exotic island drink.  Curling his hands into fists, he didn’t even bother trying to tamp down the vicious snarling of his wolf that rattled his chest.  His beast was pissed that they weren’t dragging Alise back with them, but tough shit!  Fucker never did understand that the man was in charge.

The snap of a twig behind him sounded like a gunshot as it echoed through the forest.  It settled some of his beast’s snarling because it meant Alise was following.  Good!  Because while the man was in charge, he knew he’d go feral if Alise tried to walk now.  No, they needed to figure this shit out one way or another. 

He made it nearly to the cabin when the need to turn around and make sure she was alright overrode his pride. 

Stopping, he turned and watched as she approached.  She wore only his oversized t-shirt that hung to just above her knees and those sexy high heels from the reception.  She had to be cold.  Head down, arms wrapped around her middle, she looked…defeated.  It was a blow to his ego because he knew that her being tied to him was the source. 

Ffffuck! 

Lifting a hand, he used a thumbnail to scratch at his beard before he angled his head and stared off into to woods.  “I’ll fix this.”

Alise jerked to a stop, her head snapping up.  She’d been so deep in thought she hadn’t even noticed he’d stopped.

“I’m gonna fix this.”  Feeling uncomfortable, he cracked the knuckles of one hand and then did the other before lowering his arms.  For the first time since he was a kid, he felt awkward.  “Whatever this is, whoever forced it, I’m gonna fix it.  No matter what it takes.”

He’d expected Alise’s eyes to fill with relief.  He’d expected gratitude.  But when she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and turned her head to the side, he swore his words had wounded her somehow.  But why?  Isn’t this what she wants?  Wasn’t he supposed to find a way out of this for her?

“Alise?”

Facing him, her expression was one of anger.  This time she was the one to walk right past him, but she made sure there was no brush of arms, no touching at all.  Instead, she muttered a word that only confused him more. 

“Fine!”