Thirteen

The next two weeks seemed endless and hopeless. Jake, Randy, Brian, and Evie took turns holding Sadie Mae for hours at a time, each one sitting in Jake’s favorite red leather chair in front of the fireplace in the great room. It was warm there. Besides that, Jake wanted Sadie Mae to see the big decorated Christmas tree that stood in the corner on the same wall as the fireplace. Cole and some of the other men had gone out and cut it down for the family, doing all the work of trimming off bad branches and building a bracket to attach to the trunk. It sat in a big washtub filled with water and was tied to hooks in the log walls to keep it from falling over.

Katie and Ben and the grandsons had all helped decorate it while Brian and Evie spent their time tending to Sadie Mae, Evie taking breaks to feed baby Cole. Katie’s mother took care of two-year-old Esther and helped care for Katie’s little ones so Katie could spend more time at the main house.

Everyone took turns holding Sadie Mae, talking to her…soothing her…waiting for any sign of consciousness. They’d had to put diapers on her, and Brian managed to force-feed her and get milk and water down her throat, which gave all of them hope. All bodily functions were working, and she actually swallowed when they fed her and made her drink.

Jake held her now, staring at a crackling fire in the hearth. Randy approached him. Randy. His strength. His reason for being. The woman who’d created all of this for a man who didn’t deserve anything. She knelt in front of him, resting one arm on his knee and stroking Sadie Mae’s hair. “She looks so peaceful and sweet,” she commented. “Even when she isn’t smiling, you can see her dimples.” She looked into her husband’s dark eyes. “It’s not your fault, Jake. It isn’t Tommy’s either. You know that.”

Jake sighed. “I know.” He craved a cigarette, but he wouldn’t let go of Sadie Mae. He figured he needed to start smoking less anyway, but it was damn hard when he was this upset. It was in times like this that he smoked even more. “I just keep remembering that day I found her crying because she broke all those eggs. She has such a soft heart, like Evie. And I remember how she giggled when I went into that henhouse to gather more eggs and was attacked by that damn rooster and half the hens. She thought that was so funny—big bad Grandpa, cussing and swearing and fighting off a bunch of chickens. She’s so damn attached to those cackling little monsters and what she calls their little chick-a-dees. That’s what I’ve begun calling her in return—my little chick-a-dee.” His eyes teared. “My God, was that last year, or the year before? So much has happened since then.”

“It will be two years this coming spring,” Evie spoke up. She sat in a nearby chair nursing six-month-old Cole Matthew under a blanket. “And you keep the faith, Daddy. There isn’t a moment that goes by that I’m not praying for my daughter. God brought you back from the dead and home to us last winter. This year his gift to us will be Sadie Mae.”

Brian sat in a wooden rocker next to Evie. He reached over and squeezed her shoulder. “You doing okay?”

Evie looked at her husband lovingly. “As long as I have you.”

“I’m worried the stress will affect your ability to feed the baby.”

“He’s a big eater, but I’m doing okay.”

Jake was always amazed at the strength and love between his daughter and her husband. They hadn’t panicked over Sadie Mae, but he knew they were both suffering inside and trying to stay strong for each other and for the rest of their children. Young Jake remained quiet and somber. Today he was at the bunkhouse, where the men were inventing things to keep him occupied and cheered up.

He thanked God for Katie’s parents, who’d moved to the ranch from Oklahoma last summer. Clara Donavan helped keep the rest of the little ones busy baking cookies and making decorations. She and Randy and Katie had wrapped most of the gifts, which sat stacked under the big tree. All that was left now was for Sadie Mae to wake up.

Jake leaned down and kissed the girl’s eyes. “Wake up, chick-a-dee. Please wake up.”

Randy leaned in to kiss Sadie Mae’s cheek, then rose to walk behind Jake. She bent down and kissed his cheek, too. “You hang on, Jake. I know your every thought, and you’re thinking it should be you lying here near death. Tommy feels the same way—that it should be him. That young man has changed so much. God had a purpose, bringing him into your life and you into his. Don’t think for one minute there isn’t a purpose for everything he gives to you and does for you.”

Katie came inside then with Lloyd and Tricia. They’d left Donavan and baby Jeffrey Peter, who had just started walking, with Clara.

“Any change?” Lloyd asked, walking over to his father.

“No.”

Lloyd knelt down next to the chair and kissed Sadie Mae’s hair. “Tommy is a lot better. Won’t be able to use that arm much for quite a while, but there’s no infection, and he’s up walking around—sore as hell in all the places where he took some pretty bad cuts and gouges, but he’ll make it.”

“Good. He’s turning out to be a good man.”

“Thanks to you. You raised me to be a pretty good man, too, Pa. See how important you are to this family?”

Jake shook his head. “If you say so.”

Tricia petted her cousin’s dark hair.

“Wake up, Sadie Mae,” she said to the girl sadly. “I got nobody to play with, and I love you.” Her lips puckered in a sad pout as she looked at Jake. “You still love me too, don’t you, Grampa?”

Jake frowned. “Tricia, why would you ask that?”

“’Cuz you hold Sadie Mae all the time.”

“That’s because she’s so sick, Tricia. I would love to hold you right now, but it’s my turn to sit with Sadie Mae.” Jake smiled inwardly at how both girls were constantly vying for his attention.

Brian kissed Evie’s cheek and rose to walk over to Jake. He took Sadie Mae into his arms. “Go ahead outside with Tricia, Jake. Take her for a walk or something. See how popular you are? The kids are all practically fighting over who gets to spend the most time with Grandpa.”

Jake managed a grin and rose. “There was a time when nobody wanted to be around me.” He waited while Brian sat down, then leaned over to kiss Sadie Mae’s forehead again. “I love you, chick-a-dee,” he said softly into her ear. He straightened and turned, pulling Randy into his arms for a moment. They left the words unspoken, but they missed each other, being together alone at night, holding each other. If Sadie Mae died, nothing in life would be the same. It was too much. Too much. The family had suffered more than any family should have to suffer, and that was what saddened Jake the most.

“It’s okay, Jake.” Randy stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips.

So many years. So many great times. So many terrible times. Even his Randy had suffered, but here she stood, loving him, supporting him. He put a hand to the side of her face and kissed her once more. “Get some rest of your own,” he told her.

“I’m baking your favorite bread. Surely you want me to finish that first.”

He smiled. “I wouldn’t mind.” He kissed her once more, then walked to the door and took down his jacket, pulling it on and putting on his wide-brimmed hat. “Leave your boots and leggings on, Tricia,” he told her. “We’ll go for a walk.” He left his six-guns hanging on a hook over the door. Tricia hurried over to him, and Jake picked her up.

As always, bright red curls stuck out from under Tricia’s knitted hat like tiny springs. The girl threw her arms around Jake’s neck. “I love you, Grampa. Sadie Mae will be okay. Aunt Evie is like an angel. That’s what Daddy says, so she’ll be okay ’cuz Aunt Evie is praying for her.”

Everyone in the room shared a smile.

Jake kissed Tricia’s cheek. “You’re probably right, Tricia,” Jake told her before walking out the door.

Everyone looked at each other as Evie pulled little Cole from under the blanket and kept the blanket over herself as she held the baby against her shoulder to burp him. “I know what you’re all thinking, and I agree,” Evie told them. “If Sadie Mae dies…well…I don’t even want to think about it. But besides me and Brian and young Jake, Daddy will be devastated. He can’t bear the thought of any one of us dying before him. He’s come so far. But if we lose our Sadie Mae, none of that will matter.”

“But he’s so much stronger now, Evie,” Randy told her. “I’ve seen it and felt it. We’ll all get through this.” She knelt beside Sadie Mae again, touching her soft, pudgy cheek. “God won’t let her die. He can’t.” She brushed at tears. “He just can’t.” Jake, I can’t lose you now. Not after all these years and all we’ve been through together.