Nine

After dinner, the men went back to their talk and their cards as bottles of whiskey and brandy got passed around more freely. A new set of kitchen helpers cleaned up while Luke supervised the roasting of chestnuts over the fire, and the older man who had been talking with Jackson when Warren arrived pulled out a fiddle. He seemed to only know a couple of Christmas carols and the music soon shifted to more rollicking dance tunes. Warren assisted with the clean-up where he could, enjoying the sight of his daughter dancing through the room, delight evident on her face.

It wasn’t long, however, before the girl’s eyes began to droop and she curled up into a corner of the sofa. Honey noticed as well. She fetched the girl’s boots and coat and started bundling her into her winter gear. The task was made difficult as Stella had decided she didn’t want to leave just yet and resisted Honey’s efforts even though her limbs were heavy with sleep.

“Let me help,” Warren said.

Honey looked up at him, not saying anything. Her eyes were guarded, but after a moment she nodded.

He crouched beside the sofa and leaned toward Stella with a conspiratorial smile.

“You know, the sooner you get tucked into your bed, the sooner you’ll wake up to Christmas morning, and I might just have a few packages in my bags with your name on them.”

The girl gasped and her eyes grew wide. “Presents?”

Warren shrugged. “Maybe. You won’t know for sure until Christmas Day.”

The reminder of what the morning would bring gave her enough motivation to finish dressing.

Honey gave him a stern look as she secured a scarf over her daughter’s head. “You didn’t have to—”

“Yes, I did,” he replied firmly.

While Warren fetched his bags and Honey said her goodbyes, Stella nodded off to sleep. Warren returned to her first and scooped her up into his arms to wait for Honey by the door.

The three of them left the longhouse in silence, stepping out into the crisp, white world. Warren followed Honey as she trekked along a well-trod path up into the woods. He breathed deep and reveled in the feel of his daughter’s small body nestled against his chest and the sight of her mother leading them home.

He doubted he would ever forget the way he felt along that walk.

Not far into the forest, tucked in against the side of the hill, was a quaint little cabin with a small front porch decorated in pine boughs and red sashes, just like the longhouse. A couple of steps up, and Honey was opening the wreath-decorated door.

Warren took a deep breath and followed her across the threshold.

* * *

The fire in the hearth was still lit but had dimmed to glowing coals. A little woolen stocking hung from the mantel, waiting to be filled with treats and surprises from Santa Claus. As Honey stoked the fire and added fresh wood, Warren set Stella on the sofa before the fire and started drawing off her winter gear. Soon the place was filled with warmth and flickering firelight.

“I’ll put her to bed,” Honey said quietly.

Warren was crouched in front of the sleeping child, pulling off her second boot. At Honey’s words, he rose to his feet and backed away. She lifted the sleeping girl in her arms and carried her through a doorway into the bedroom beyond.

He turned in place, taking in the details of Honey’s home.

It was a small cabin, tiny really by comparison to the longhouse down in the valley. The room was barely large enough for the sofa and one small end table, with a corner kitchen open to the living area. There was no stove, but a large black kettle rested on the woodpile beside the fireplace. It appeared she did the cooking here over the fire. Books were stacked in the corners and woolen blankets draped the back of the sofa, pillows were scattered on the floor in front of the sofa, and a braided rug covered the wood floor. A tattered and obviously beloved rag doll rested among the pillows.

Warren scooped it up before taking a seat on the sofa. He stared at the doll, noting the places where it was most threadbare, where its dress had been mended and lace had been resewn.

The doll had been made from the remnants of a dress he remembered Honey wearing a lot that summer. It was a beautiful pale green with a pattern of pink and yellow flowers. He had loved seeing her in that dress and had told her so, which in turn made her wear it more often.

And now the dress had been refashioned for Stella’s doll. Something he had loved had become something she loved. It made him feel more connected to the daughter he had only barely met.

Honey reentered the room and he hastily swallowed the thickening lump in his throat.

“Would you like some coffee?” she asked from the kitchen. “Or tea? I think I have tea.”

“Coffee would be wonderful. Thank you,” he said without looking up.

As Honey bustled about, he set the doll aside and refocused his purpose. After a few minutes, she approached the fire and hung the coffeepot on a hook that moved on a swivel over the flames to heat up.

Then she turned to face him. Warren’s heart nearly broke.

She looked so scared and strong at the same time. So proud and uncertain. Did she feel the fierce tug between their hearts like he did?

“Tell me what happened after I left,” he said, doing his best to keep his tone neutral.

Honey took a deep breath and came forward to sit beside him on the sofa, far enough to keep their bodies from touching. Though she angled her shoulders toward him, she directed her gaze at the fire.

“Everything changed,” she said simply.

“Tell me,” Warren said again.

“Not long after you went back East, Freeman started making a nuisance of himself. He came around as often as he could, most times catching me when Mama or Luke were gone. He didn’t force himself on me or anything,” she said quickly when Warren stiffened beside her, “but he made sure his intentions were clear. He wanted to marry me. Said he’d been biding his time since I turned fifteen, thinking I needed to grow up a bit more.” She grimaced and gave a little huff.

“I thought everyone in town knew how I felt about you, but when I said I wouldn’t marry him, that I loved someone else, he got real angry.”

Warren had never been a violent man, but his hands curled into fists at her words. “What did he do?”

Her brown eyes found his and held there. Sadness swirled in the dark depths.

“We know now that he sent us those letters. He also made things difficult for Mama. People stopped bringing her business. He put pressure on the sheriff to hassle Luke for every little thing. It got so Luke couldn’t walk down the street without breaking some obscure town ordinance and landing in the jail for the night.

“It was around the same time your uncle left the area.” She tipped her chin to look at him questioningly. “I always worried that Freeman had done something to force them out.”

Warren shook his head. “No. Uncle Randolph’s a born wanderer. He never stays in one place for long. He and my cousin headed off on some whim or another.”

“I always liked that girl of his,” she replied with a wistful smile. “Such a bright little hellion.”

“She was that,” Warren smiled, thinking of his young cousin. “Alexandra has actually been in Boston with my mother for the last few years.”

Her eyes widened. “In the big city? Now, that is hard to imagine. That girl was born to run in the wilderness.”

“The last time I saw her, she had become quite a lady.”

“Amazing.”

“It is,” Warren agreed with a nod, before he lowered his brows, “but I think this conversation has digressed quite enough.”

She gave him a look that said she wasn’t grateful for the reminder as she rose to her feet and crossed to check on the coffee.

“There’s not much more to say. When I wouldn’t be bullied by Freeman’s tactics, he decided to make the whole damn town suffer. He made sure everyone knew that if I’d just agree to marry him, the troubles would all stop.”

Warren wanted to punch something. Preferably, Freeman’s fat nose.

Honey came to stand in front of him, holding out a steaming cup of coffee. He took it from her hand and then caught her fingers in his.

She tried to keep the emotions from showing in her face, but the evidence of what that time had been like for her darkened her eyes.

“I should have been there,” he said softly. “I wish I had known.”

She lowered her lashes and pulled away.

He let her go.

“You had to leave and I don’t begrudge you that, Warren. Truly. Maybe things would have been different if Freeman hadn’t interfered as he did. But we can’t change it now.”

After pouring coffee for herself, she reclaimed her seat on the sofa, curling her legs beneath her.

“And when you learned of the baby?” he asked, his stomach tightening at the thought of her, so young at seventeen, discovering she was going to have a child. Alone.

“I tried to hide it as long as I could.” Her voice lowered and her expression softened as she stared at the flames burning steady in her hearth. “But I was so happy. From the second I knew of Stella’s existence, I cherished her.” She paused to sip her coffee, both hands wrapped around the steaming mug. “Unfortunately, people in town did not have the same reaction, as you can imagine.

“Freemen used my disgrace as further ammunition against me and my family. Luke got in so many fights he was perpetually black and blue. And Mama…” She glanced down at her lap. “Mama couldn’t take the strain of everything coming at her from Freeman, from the townsfolk, from my…situation. Her heart gave out one night while she slept.”

Warren ached for her loss at a time when she had been so vulnerable. “God, Honey, I am so sorry.”

She rushed on as though embarrassed by his sympathy. “Luke and I sold the house and left town as quick as we could, taking only what we needed. I owe so much to him for his support during those months. It was Luke who found this place and worked out a way to pay for it. There was just this cabin and the land then. But it was home, and just in time for Stella.”

She smiled. “Even with his reckless ways, Luke has a way of earning people’s loyalty.” She turned to look at him. “They are not bad men, Warren. Each of them has his own reasons for going outside the law to survive. Just as Luke and I did.”

As a doctor in one of the largest cities in the Eastern states, Warren was not as sheltered as his family had raised him to be. He had seen desperation and the human instinct for survival in some of the harshest of conditions.

He was grateful to Luke for doing what he had to provide for Honey and her baby. But it only added to the guilt and regret growing inside him as he listened to her story. He would give anything to have been able to prevent all that she had endured. She was right, he couldn’t change the past, but he could have an effect on the future.

Setting his coffee aside, he shifted from his seat until he crouched down in front of her, bracing his hands on either side of her hips.

She said nothing. Just looked at him with sad eyes, her shoulders squared and strong.

“I never stopped loving you, Honey.”

A sound caught in her throat and she shook her head wordlessly, making the rest of his words tumble out before she could try to refute him.

“I was hurt and angry and confused by the news that you married Freeman so soon after I’d left. But I never stopped loving you. I love you now, seeing what you’ve done for yourself and”—he swallowed hard around the thickness in his throat—“and for our daughter. I can’t express how much I admire the wealth of strength and love you possess.”

He lowered his head, then looked up again. The tears in her eyes nearly made it impossible for him to continue.

“I know you don’t need me, Honey. And maybe you can’t find your way to loving me again, but you should know how I feel.”

The shaking of her head got more vigorous and she rose to her feet in a rush to shove past him.

He stood and followed her into the little kitchen area. He was not going to back down until he knew for a fact she didn’t want him.

“No, Warren. You do not love me,” she said sternly as she placed her mug on the little table and turned back to face him with her arms wrapped tight around her middle. “It is your guilt talking, nothing else,” she said with a hard jut of her chin.

“That’s not true,” he argued. “Of course, I’m filled with remorse for what I couldn’t do for you, but that does not mean I don’t love you. Give me a chance to prove it.”

“Warren, I…” She couldn’t finish.

“What is it, Honey?”

She took a breath, but didn’t answer.

He closed the distance between them and took her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his gaze.

“I know you feel something for me, Honey. I cannot believe that this longing in my heart does not fill yours, that this fire rolling through me does not burn through you as well.”

He saw the flicker of response in her eyes, felt her body swaying forward. He ran his thumbs along the stubborn line of her jaw. His gaze dropped to her lips and he murmured, “Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you right now.”

Her lips parted and her breath came swift.

Warren eased closer until their bodies pressed full length to each other. He could feel her heartbeat and the unsteady rhythm of her breath.

“Tell me you feel nothing,” he murmured, “and I will let it be.”

Her eyelashes fluttered and the corner of her mouth curled unexpectedly. “Somehow I doubt that,” she whispered. “But this—whatever this is still between us—is not enough. Too much time has passed. Too much has changed.”

“I don’t believe that,” he said. The words were gruff with emotion. “Give us another chance.”

She met his eyes steadily. “What happens when Stella comes to love you and you decide to go back East? I won’t let her experience that heartbreak and I can’t go through it again.”

She was scared.

He was scared too, but he wasn’t about to let it stop him.

“Nothing could take me from either of you,” he vowed. “Not ever again.”

He brushed his thumb once more over her cheek before he lowered his head. Warren put everything he had into that kiss, holding her face in his hands as he swept his tongue past her teeth to taste her deepest desires and claim her every wishful breath.

He wanted this. Her. Forever.

Only when the kiss had made them both breathless, and he felt her hands clutching at his shoulders as she moved intently against him, did he pause, easing the pressure of his mouth just enough to murmur against her lips, “Please say you’ll marry me.”

She pulled back with a gasp of surprise. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted in stunned silence. Warren took the opportunity to step back and fetch the small box he had tucked into the pocket of his coat.

“I bought this the first week I was back in Boston. I had expected to give it to you years ago, but perhaps you’ll accept it now as my Christmas gift.”

He opened the jeweler’s box to show her a ring with five amethysts interspersed with tiny diamonds set along a gold band. The center stone was the largest, with those extending to each side gradually decreasing in size.

“Marry me, Honey.”

She silently shook her head from side to side, but one of her hands lifted toward the ring.

Warren caught that wayward hand and took the ring from the box to slip it onto her finger. She didn’t resist, and his heart began to sing.

Then she stuttered, “Marry you…I…but this is our home. I can’t take Stella away from the only family she’s ever known.”

“Then I will come to live with you here.”

She blinked at that. “In this little cabin?”

“Why not?” Warren glanced around. “We might want to add on another bedroom in the spring, but otherwise it’s perfect.”

“But your practice in Chester Springs…”

“I can make a trip to town a few times a month to see to people’s needs. If that isn’t enough, I will find a replacement.”

“Being a doctor is all you ever wanted.”

“Not all,” he said with a smile, drawing her into his arms. “And right now, this is more important. I’ll find a way to work out the doctoring bit.”

“But Stella…she will have so many questions.”

“We have all night to figure out how best to explain things to her.”

“My brother—”

“Will have to accept it,” he stated.

She fell silent.

“Any more concerns?” He kept his tone light though his insides were churning.

Her eyes glistened with emotion as she stared at him for a long moment. Then she released a slow breath.

“Just one,” she admitted as she brought her arms up to encircle his neck. The smile curving her lips made his heart skip a beat and his blood run swift. “I do not have a gift for you.”

“I cannot imagine a better Christmas gift than having you and Stella in my life.” His arms tightened around her. “Forever.”

“Then forever it is,” she said before she rose up on her toes to seal her promise with a kiss.