November

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Pacing a path across my living room carpet, my hands clenched into fists, I glanced at my watch for the hundredth time and blew out a noisy, impatient sigh.

Faith, where are you?

I circled the coffee table to reach the window and drew the curtain back to scan the street below, as though I might catch a glimpse of her car pulling up to my apartment building. She’d been at the gym when I called and promised to come right over after a quick shower.

Seeing nothing but unfamiliar vehicles, I turned back toward the room and folded my arms over my chest. My gaze landed on the glossy little cardboard box on my coffee table. My heart flopped painfully.

I felt silly waiting for Faith to arrive before opening the box. I was a grown woman and I could do it on my own. Only I couldn’t bring myself to even break the seal before she was there to hold my hand. My pulse was already pounding, and I fought to push slow, deep breaths in and out of my lungs to calm myself.

When a wave of queasiness washed over me, I sank onto the couch and closed my eyes, bowing my head, until the feeling subsided.

It’s just nerves. Just stomach flutters, that’s all.

Faith, please get here!

She was the only person I’d confided in about my night with Mitch. I hadn’t said a word to Brooke. It hadn’t been easy keeping my composure after the old woman told me Mitch was still married, but I’d managed to think up an excuse to leave the bakery and gone back to my mother’s house, where I’d made up another excuse to head back to St. Catharines immediately. Something about an urgent job Faith needed me to help her with. Turned out I was as shameless a liar as Mitch.

When his face rose in my thoughts, I scrubbed my hands over my face as though I could cleanse him from my mind. An impossible task. As much as I hated him, it had been agony ignoring the dozen of messages he’d left after Thanksgiving, his voice laced with confusion that I hadn’t been in touch. He obviously had no idea I’d found out his deception. He still hadn’t learned that secrets didn’t stay under wraps for long in Eastport. Just as I still hadn’t learned that if something seemed too good to be true, it was probably a crock.

I’d been so stupid. Caught up in nostalgia and fantasies that I could go back and recapture something that had been lost. Something I should have known was forever tainted by lies. And here I was, the unwitting other woman once again. Only the situation was much worse this time.

Rapping on the door jolted me to my feet. I snatched up the box from the coffee table and sprinted to the door to throw it open.

Faith marched into the apartment and shut the door behind her. “Carly, what’s wrong? You sounded so upset on the phone.” Her cheeks glowed pink and her strawberry curls were still damp, tied back into a lopsided ponytail with one long spiral left dangling on her forehead.

I held up the box to show her the label.

Faith’s pale blue eyes widened. “Are you—?”

“I don’t know.” My words tumbled out in a rush. “You tell me. I’m two weeks late. My boobs are swollen up like melons. I’m going to the bathroom every half hour. You’ve had a kid. Does any of this sound familiar?”

She blinked at me a couple of times. With her lower lip clamped between her teeth, she gave a quick nod. “You haven’t taken the test yet?”

I shook my head. “Too freaked out.”

“Do it now. You have to know.”

“Okay. I was only waiting for you to get here.” I drew a bolstering breath and marched to the bathroom. My legs started to wobble the moment I shut the door and my fingers trembled as I struggled to tear the box open.

Minutes later, I emerged with the plastic stick in my hand. I set the box on the coffee table and placed the stick on top.

Faith pulled her phone from her purse and set the timer. “Three minutes, right?”

“Right.”

We sat side by side on the couch with our hands folded in our laps. Averting my gaze from the stick, I stared at the corner of the room, feeling my heart knocking against my breastbone.

“I would say you could use a drink but…” Faith said with a half-smile.

“I wish.” I heaved a sigh and let my shoulders sag. “This is what you warned me about, right?”

“You promised me you’re always careful.”

“We were careful. But I guess there’s no hundred percent guarantee.”

Faith placed a reassuring hand on my arm. “Carly, I’m not judging you. I’m here to support you no matter what.”

“Oh, God. This is a disaster.” I dropped my face into my hands and stifled the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. I couldn’t let myself cry or I might not be able to stop.

Faith rubbed her palm along my back. “It’s not a disaster. It’ll be all right.”

“I don’t even have a full-time job.”

“I can give you more hours.”

I shook my head. “That’s sweet, but no you can’t.”

“You’ll find something else. You’re a talented florist.”

Dropping my hands to my sides, I flopped back against the couch cushion and blinked at the stippled ceiling. “You know I never wanted kids. I like kids. I love your kid. I just never had a burning desire to be a mother.”

“Maybe not, but I know you’d be an awesome mom,” Faith said. “Brandon adores you. You’re great with him.”

Glancing at her, I caught a glimpse of the glow that imbued her face whenever she said his name. Since she was a kid she’d craved motherhood. Having lost her mother at a young age, she was determined to make the best of every moment with her son, and she loved him fiercely. On occasion, I caught myself envying their bond. But after her divorce, Faith had spent two years as a single mother before marrying Cole, and I’d watched her struggle to raise a little boy on her own while starting her own interiorscaping business. I wasn’t sure I had the same strength and determination.

“This is so typically me,” I grumbled. “Every chance I get, I make the wrong choice and screw things up.”

“You’re talking about Rob?”

Nodding morosely, I stared at the curved pink grooves my nails had left on my palms. “It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? He offered me forever and I got scared. I didn’t believe I could do forever, and I couldn’t stand the thought of trying and failing. I suppose that makes me a coward.”

Faith gave my shoulder a nudge. “Carly, do you remember Valentine’s Day almost three years ago, when I was trying to sort through how I felt about Cole?”

“And he showed up all banged up from that car accident and proposed to you. How could I forget that?”

“But do you remember telling me I’d always protected myself by closing off my feelings? You were completely right. And maybe you’re not so different from me. You’ll find your way, like I did.”

I managed a small smile, my heart lifting with gratitude for her friendship. “I hope so. If only—”

Faith’s phone chimed and panic clenched my throat. We exchanged wide-eyed glances.

“Want me to look first?” Faith asked.

“No. I’ll do it.” With my pulse pounding in my temples, I leaned forward and picked up the stick. The little window showed two solid red bands.

Positive.

“Well, that’s it,” I said. “Pretty conclusive.” I held out the stick to show her, wanting to cry or scream but too numb to do either.

I looked at Faith’s face and saw tears filling her eyes. She quickly swiped them away with the back of her hand.

“Faith, don’t you fall apart on me now,” I said. “I need you to keep telling me things are going to be all right until I believe it.”

She shook her head, making her ponytail flop over her shoulder. “It’s not that. Sorry. I’m just overly emotional.”

I twisted my body to face her. “This isn’t like you. You’re the most unflappable person I know. Is something going on?”

Faith didn’t answer right away. She stared at her hands in her lap. “I was going to tell you sooner,” she said after a moment, “but you were so upset about Mitch, I decided to wait. Carly…I’m pregnant too.”

I straightened my back in surprise. “Seriously?”

Her lips trembled into a smile, and through her tears, I saw pure joy shining in her eyes. She gripped my hand. “It’s great, isn’t it? You won’t be alone. We can do this together.”

“Yeah, that’s wonderful. Congratulations.” I pulled her to me for a hug. “Is Cole happy?”

“He’s over the moon.” Drawing back, she searched my face. “So when are you going to tell Mitch?”

“I haven’t thought about it.”

“You have to do it.”

“Do I?” I hadn’t wanted to contact him ever again. Even hearing his voice would hurt too much. I needed to somehow stop missing him desperately. I needed to stop lying awake at night, craving his touch. But I hadn’t managed that yet.

“Of course you’ve got to tell him.” A frown knit Faith’s brow. “He has a right to know, and you have a right to financial support.”

“This might destroy his marriage. Especially if he told me the truth about the troubles he and his wife went through trying to have a child. I can’t imagine how she’ll react to the news that Mitch knocked up another woman during a one-night fling.”

“That’s entirely his own fault,” Faith pointed out.

“I know. I just feel sorry for the woman. Married to a liar and a cheater. Could you do me a favour and keep this under your hat for now, at least until I tell my parents?”

“Of course.” She made a zipping motion across her lips. “How are you going to approach Mitch?”

“I don’t know, Faith.” I flopped back on the couch again, exhaustion rolling over me now that the shock was beginning to wear off. “I have to let this sink in first. There’s no rush, right? I’ve got about eight more months until the main event.”