CELIA

After a month, Sage and I have had enough.

We corner Sofia Sol in the kitchen at lunchtime. Her grey eyes widen as a smile tugs at her lips. “What’s this?”

I snatch her plate, “You’re eating with just us today.”

“Forced girls-time!” Sage shoves her toward the hall. “We’re taking over the big parlor. Already have it set up.”

Sofia Sol laughs, “Candlelight and everything?”

“You’ve had enough candlelight!” Sage fake-growls, tossing her bottles of water. “Catch!”

One after the other three fly through the air. The first two are fine but the third is a teensy bit clumsy. Always funny to make our sexy friend look awkward.

Sage and I corral our smitten badass through the rest of the amused Ciphers.

Luke walks into the TV room and sees us heading down the hall with everyone laughing. “What’s going on?”

“We’re taking your fiancé away from your bad influence!” I shout.

“Help!” She reaches for him.

Acting the part, he starts for her, pretending to be pissed.

But Sean grabs him, giving him a bear-hold from behind. “I’ve got him! Run, Forrest Run!”

Over the fresh round of laughter, Sage melodramatically sings, “I love you, brother, but you are hoarding our friend! We need two hours with her at least, all to our damn selves!”

I jump into view and point at those sapphires, “Keep him on lock down, Sean!”

He gives a devilish grin, “You can count on me!” sending a zing into my chest that I refuse to pay attention to. He’s been so distant with me, so unlike how he was in the beginning. Trouble is, it’s not just Atlas and I training him anymore.

I guess the original bond I felt from him, the one that came so easily, was just a natural result of his needing a friend in the club. Now he’s got five, including Sage. Six, if you include my brother who occasionally joins us. And they seem to get along really well.

In fact he spends more time talking with Tonk Jr. than with me.

We are never, ever, alone. When we eat as a group, I don’t catch him looking at me. I’ve become un-special, if that’s even a word. It is now.

I miss his wink.

Even that grin he just gave wasn’t for me. It was for the family who has started to become his own.

Pulling the sting out of my heart I force a smile as Sage locks the big parlor door, “You’re trapped! Aha!”

Soph strolls to the coffee table we’ve piled with food. “You guys are too funny,” she laughs while setting the water bottles down. “It’s been that bad?”

Plopping onto one of our comfy velvet armchairs I blurt, “Yes! It has been that bad, yes!”

Picking up a strawberry Soph smirks, “You don’t have his cock.”

Sage covers her face. “This is my brother you’re talking about!”

“We talk about sex in our girl time.”

“Ugh.”

Chewing my BBQ sauce smothered burger, I kick Sage’s foot. “Get over it. I don’t want to censor our conversations.”

Soph laughs, “I just saw all your food, Ceels. And I mean allll of it!” To Sage she flatly says, “We need to talk about everything, or it’s fucking boring. Gawd, Melodi really hooked us up!”

“Fine, I’ll do my best not to gag.” Snatching up a french fry, she says, “I know, right? She even made these in the frier so we could have something different than tots! Get in my mouth!”

“You know what I love best about training?” Sofia selects a fry with the perfect amount of crispiness. “That I can eat anything I want. In fact, I need to eat a lot to have enough fuel to stay strong.”

Smiling I lean back with my yummy burger. “It is a plus, but there’s something better than even that.” The girls cock their eyebrows, waiting. “Knowing you’ll never be raped.”

They nod with Sage adding, “No guy, if he looked at me, would think that I could take him down to the ground and pound his head in the pavement until he begged me to stop.”

“It’s fucking badass is what it is,” Sofia Sol says through a mouthful, pushing a wayward onion back between her lips. “I never get tired of the surprised look I get when some really big motherfucker realizes I can get out of the chokehold he thought he had me in.”

“Fuck being choked,” I grumble. “Fuck that shit all the way to hell and back. No no no.”

Sage uncorks her water bottle. “You have no idea what they’re going to do when you’re unconscious. It’s so sick I can’t even get my head around it.”

“That’s because you live in a bubble of paintings and stencils.”

“Soph, that’s not fair!”

“I’m just saying, if you witnessed the things that Celia and I do, you wouldn’t feel any disbelief.”

“It’s true,” I nod.

“Whatever. Not everyone is meant to do what you guys do.”

“We know that, Sage. You do you.”

Soph mutters, “At least you know how to defend yourself. I take comfort knowing that about you when I’m out on the road and I see some girl, pretty as you are, lying in a damn dumpster.”

“Okay! Let’s change the subject!” Sage covers her ears. “I can’t take this much reality.”

Rolling her eyes, Sofia Sol turns to me. “What I want to know is, what’s happening with you and Sean?”

I stop munching, eyebrows furrowed. With my mouth full I shrug, “Nothing.”

“I catch you looking at him all the time, Ceels. You’re really fucking obvious about it.”

Horrified I share a glance with Sage to silently ask if that’s true. She give me a yes-you-idiot tilt of her head.

“That’s total bullshit,” I mutter, opening the cap for a drink. “You guys are trying to bait me but there’s no way you can. Because it’s not true.” They stare at me. “It’s not!” More staring. “Look, if I’ve been watching him it’s to see his progress. Soph, you weren’t here when I was working my butt off to get him in shape, because you were off fucking your brains out with Sage’s brother.” This elicits the scream of disgust I wanted, and takes the attention off me.

But my stubborn Sofia Sol isn’t deterred, “Is it because he doesn’t seem interested in you?”

My heart drops to the floor. “Ouch,” I mutter, dropping the pickle I’d just picked up.

Sage hisses, “Sofia!”

“What?” She leans on her elbow, crossing her legs like the epitome of sophistication even though she’s wearing torn up jeans and a black tank top over her huge rack.

I give her a fake, nonchalant shrug. “It’s fine. I don’t care. Just…we’re friends.”

“Mmmhmm. I know that. We’re all friends with him, Ceels. But you’re a little bit more than that.”

Living in a house with a group of people means no going home after you spend a couple hours with somebody, like I guess people do in the normal world. Outside of sleeping and showers, Sean is around me every second of every day. As a group we train together, eat three meals, explore the property, watch movies, go for motorcycle rides, do jobs where the stakes are high and the bond grows tighter. It’s like getting to know someone on fast forward, compacting years into months. Especially the training and the missions. We’re hyper-close then, the intimacy unavoidable and intoxicating.

And the fucking jerk has never faltered in his integrity. I’ve only become more enamored with his strong moral compass and solid, personal confidence. I hang on his every damn word, if I’m honest with myself. And until now, I was able to live in denial, head in sand and purple curtain tugged firmly in place.

Shifting my weight and avoiding her eyes I mutter, “I just like him as a friend.”

“Bullshit.”

“Soph!” Sage hisses again, this time throwing my dropped pickle at her.

Sofia catches it, grey eyes cruelly locked on me. “Celia, why don’t you just admit it?”

“What’s to admit?! You already pointed out that he isn’t interested—which is obvious to everyone, especially me!—so why are you interrogating me?”

“You really like that guy.”

“Are you trying to hurt me?”

Soph smirks, “You can’t be hurt if you don’t care.”

“Great. Throw your wise philosophy at me. You know what? Go back to Luke. I’m all good on girl-time.” I storm for the door, hating how angry I am.

“Hey Ceels, what if I told you that Luke made Sean back off?”

My fingers pause on the handle and I look over my shoulder. “Did he do that?”

Sofia shrugs, “Mayyyyyybe.”

“What?” Sage almost screeches, staring from her to me.

I return to the feast like a wild animal wondering if a trap is waiting.

Soph reaches for the water bottle, taking her damn time now that she has my total and complete attention. Too proud to beg, I cross my arms and wait for my mischievous best friend to have her fun.

“You interested?” she asks, eyebrows raised. “Because I don’t know if you are. I mean, you were just about to leave in a huff, so you might not care about the information I found out just last night.”

“I was about to kill you for withholding intel from me, but since it was within the last twenty-four hours you’re off the hook. Truth is, though, I don’t really care.”

“No?”

“Not at all. I marched to the door only to control my temper which was getting out of control.”

Sage jumps on my bandwagon. “Yeah, she’s working on her self-discipline!”

“Exactly.”

Sofia clears her throat, coughing the word, “Bullshit!” Wiping fake snot she smiles, “Oh, excuse me. I’m allergic to liars. But hey, if you don’t want to know, that’s cool.”

Throwing my hands on my hips I shout, “TELL ME!”

She busts up laughing, and Sage is grinning, too, until Soph off-handedly says, “We were in bed last night in between fuck sessions…”

“Sofia!” Sage groans.

“Oh be quiet,” Soph mutters, returning her gaze to mine. “And I mentioned how great you and Sean would be together. That I was watching him at shooting practice—your specialty as we all know—and you were correcting his aim, remember that?”

How could I forget? I was behind him, using my arm to guide his, my other hand on the tight muscles of his lower back as we focused on the target together. When I stepped away and he hit the bullseye, Sean gave me this proud grin that made me feel I’d won the lottery. Only trouble was he no longer needed my help after that. And I kept waiting for him to screw up.

“The guy is a natural,” I mumble, itching for her to continue.

“Yeah, he’s made for this shit, for sure. Anyway, I mentioned it to Luke how great it would be if something sparked with you guys, because I could tell you liked him. And then I sighed, said I was bummed out that Sean doesn’t feel the same way. Luke asked what I meant. I told him, I never see Sean looking at Celia. Remember when we came back home from Sedona that first day and saw them on the porch? How we both noticed how he had this air of possession over her?”

I interrupt, “Wait, what?”

“We did! When we rode up the driveway and you three guys were on the porch, Sean was standing next to you like you were his, even though Atlas was on the other side. It was a vibe thing. He was standing like this, like it had already happened—his claiming of you! And there you were in the middle of this dumb triangle and had no idea!”

Excited to hear to the rest, I sit down, hovering on the edge of my seat. There’s something sparking inside me now…

Hope.

Sofia continues, “So I’m waiting for Luke to agree with me and tell me we must have been wrong, etc. but instead he just lays there, right? All silent with this weird look in his eyes. So I asked him what was up.” Leaning forward, Sofia Sol pauses for effect. “That night after dinner, remember when he asked to speak to Sean right after he and Atlas almost got into a fight?”

“That first night you guys came back home?”

“Yes! When they were out there, Luke told Sean that it was obvious he had feelings for you, and to knock it off if he wanted to become a Cipher.”

I blink at her as Sage says a low and long, “Whoa.”

Sofia takes a sip from her water bottle, eyes never wavering from my shocked stare.

Standing up in a daze I walk the parlor and replay the time between then and now over in my head in little flashes. All those times he waited until someone else sat next to me so he could have someone between us. When I came out of the shower at the same time he exited his room, he muttered, “Forgot something,” and disappeared back inside like I had the plague. The couple mornings we woke up before the rest of the house, and he left to go on a walk alone. “Need to get centered, sorry,” he mumbled when I offered to join him. And so many more.

“I thought he just didn’t like me anymore. I mean, at all! Barely a friend, you know? He laughed so much more with you guys and avoided me!”

My Cipher sisters come join me by the gauzed window, sunbeams drifting onto us. Sofia wears her excitement subdued, a cocky I knew it in her pale grey eyes. But Sage is bouncing in her skin like she wants to drag Sean in here right now to make him ‘fess up.

“What do I do?”

“That’s the problem,” Soph says, pointing at me. “You can’t do anything.”

Sage loses momentum, shoulders drooped. “Oh shit, the family.”

“And what does Sean want more than anything?”

Sage and I answer in unison, “To be part of the family.”

Groaning, I cover my head, pacing. “What do I do?”

“Talk to your mother, Ceels. She’s the one who would vote him out. And she might make your dad vote no, too.”

Frustrated I throw up my arms, “It makes no sense. He’s more than proven himself. Even when he’s beaten to a pulp he won’t quit. He’s making up for lost time, all those years of experience we have behind us, but what good does that do if she keeps acting like he’s a pariah unworthy of trust!”

They both nod, because they’ve seen it, too. Every Cipher, except my mother, has remarked on how crazy Sean is, and that he fits right in because of it.

Chewing on her cheek, Sofia stares into the ideas passing through her brain. “My dad might overrule her vote, but what good does that do you if you want something more than friendship? Your mom and dad have to accept him, Ceels. We can’t live in a house where they don’t. You guys would have to move.”

“Okay, you are getting way ahead of yourself.”

Sage reminds me, “After what Sofia went through, she’s just being careful.”

“Right, I know, but come on! Stop getting my hopes up!”

Sofia is staring off again. “You need to speak to Tonk Jr., Ceels.”

I blink at her. “You could not have surprised me any more if you’d have said Superman. How in the world would my brother be able to help me here?”

“He’s way smarter than the three of us put together. He has an idea how to get through to your mom. I’d bet Sage’s life on it.”

“Hey!”

“Well, I’m too happy now to bet my own. And I have a husband to look after.”

Sage pinches her, “You’re such a jerk, Soph.”

Sofia grins and tries to pinch her back, but Sage dodges it and runs off. “I have to go to the bathroom. You’ll clean up the mess?”

We both answer a firm, “No!”

She laughs her way out of the room, giving us no choice. Sofia gives me a can-you-believe-her look.

I head for the spread, “You asked for it.”