SEAN

Scythe jumps up from the couch where he was watching football with Denita, to give Celia a hug as soon as she appears. “Hey kid, how you doin’?”

“Not great.”

Melodi says, “I made you some hot chocolate, honey.”

Ceels glances to me as she walks to accept the marshmallow-filled cup. “Where is everyone?”

“Back porch. I waited here.”

Offering me a smile, she says, “Thank you,” and turns to Melodi. “You knew, didn’t you?”

The woman known for being blunt as much as she’s known for her great cooking, doesn’t try to deny it. She takes a deep breath with all the weight of this situation on her lips. “You were too perfect to have been a premature delivery, Celia. Tonk wasn’t gone that long. And Fuse was with them in California. My husband couldn’t keep it from me after I guessed what had really happened, now could he?” Mel runs her hand down Celia’s arm. “But it doesn’t matter, you hear me! You’re exactly who you were when you woke up this morning and every day before this! You’re a Cipher. Don’t let this take you down. Especially lately—you’re the strongest I’ve ever seen you. Hold onto that! And this…” She hands her the cup.

Opening the door I touch the small of Celia’s back as she walks through, jaw grinding. Weird to see a bunch of badass bikers all pretzeled up, mushy and awkward, with pain and regret in their eyes. They want to bury the lies back in the cemetery of their pasts. But they can’t.

From where our crew is sitting, Sofia Sol leans forward and jogs her chin. “What’s in the cup?”

I drag another chair over to complete our circle. Celia sits on the empty one. “Hot chocolate,” she shrugs, setting it on her leg, reaching to lay her other hand on my thigh as soon as I get comfortable.

“What are you, five?” Sofia mutters, reaching under the table and producing a bottle of Baileys Irish Cream. “Sage stole it from the cupboard.”

“Yeah, I did it when Mel went to the bathroom.”

This pulls a smile from Ceels. “Give it.”

Sofia produces a bottle of tequila, too. “Oh, and Sage was a busy little thief.”

To lighten the air, Atlas jokes, “We need to start taking her on missions.”

But his sister mutters, “No, thank you. You do the dirty work. I’m not cut out for gruesome things.”

Celia pours the Baileys into her cup and announces, “Apparently I am. More disgusting the better, that’s what’s coursing through these veins. Isn’t that fun?”

Sofia points her index finger, “Hey! Nothing is changed about you. You’re still the most wonderful person I’ve ever known.” Glancing to Luke she says, “Sorry.”

“I know what you mean,” he nods, eyes somber as they flick from his fiancé to Celia. “Don’t talk like that Ceels.”

As she sips, her fingers are loosely holding mine like there’s not life left in her. “To find out I came from that.”

“You had no control over it,” I tell her, rubbing my thumb on hers. “This wasn’t your fault.”

Luke backs me up, “If Jett and Tonk—all of them—if they hadn’t come in, you would’ve been sold somewhere!”

Sofia jumps in. “We never would have known you. Think about how lucky you really are. You wouldn’t even have known your mom! And I’m not speaking for just me when I say that I’m so glad you were born, Celia!”

Everyone agrees. I bring her fingers to my lips and kiss them. She gives us a small smile but that’s it. It’s just too heavy, this news, to get past that easily.

Atlas leans on his elbows, trying to hold her eyes for more than two seconds because she keeps drifting away from us, gaze dropping to her lap like none of this is sinking in. “Celia, look, it’s beyond shitty, we’re not saying it’s not fucking awful, because it is. But something really great came out of it!”

“Right!” Sage interrupts. “Celia, you were the gift that Carmen got from that horror. Can you imagine if it had been for nothing? But here she is, so happily married, so in love with Tonk. And you and Junior are her everything!”

From behind her cup Celia mutters, “Would have been nice to have known earlier.”

“Would it?” I ask. Her eyelashes flit to me. “Think about it. I mean really look at this. Do you see how hard I’ve been working to join this life you have? And you lived your childhood in happiness, no shame or weirdness thrown on before you could deal with it. If you were a kid knowing about what happened to your mom, how you were born, that would have haunted you. Maybe given you shame or insecurity. But you have none of those things now.”

“I might as of tonight.”

“No! You didn’t have them when I met you, and it’s your choice if you take that shit on now.” She stares at me. The others are silent. Suddenly I’m aware of crickets chirping, and an owl somewhere in an oak tree, calling me an outsider. Asking who do I think I am. Skimming the faces of the Ciphers I land back on the woman I’m crazy about. “Okay, maybe I’m new here, but I know one thing and that’s that Celia Lewis is strong. Not just physically, but in here.” I punch my chest, hold her eyes. “You get to choose what breaks you!”

She whispers, “You’re not going to let me play the victim are you?”

“Your mom was the victim, but you’re the phoenix.” Pulling her out of the chair I take the cup from her hand and set it down. “So I’m gonna kick your ass is what I’m gonna do.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s fight time.”

Sofia leaps up. “Yes! I love it!”

The Martinez siblings jump up, too. The six of us head for the training area just on the other side of these busted mesh walls. We’re pulling off our boots as we go, whooping and trash-talking so much that Melodi opens the window and asks, “Did I miss something?”

We ignore her, taking our places in a big circle on the pad, everyone barefoot and ready.

Sofia shouts, “Me first! Kick my ass, Ceels!”

With a look that says she can’t believe we’re doing this, Celia circles her best friend who’s an even bigger badass than she is. Sofia Sol is something to watch when we train. The girl is quick, skilled, and vicious. But today she’s mock-snarling and it makes Celia grin. “You’re crazy!”

“Really? Because I’m not the one who just found out her daddy’s the devil.”

The smile vanishes just like that. Celia attacks her, all trained kicks, punches, really going for it. Soph ducks and weaves but lets some hit on purpose. If she let them all land she’d be a mess. Luke jumps in, pushes Sofia back, and circles. “Hey Ceels, feel like holding someone in a room for your own personal gain?”

“Fuck you!” she shouts, punching and missing.

He straightens up and they go back to circling each other. “Never letting them out to see the sun? Sound like a good time to you?”

She screeches, “Of course not!” tears burning her eyes as she leaps at him, wrapping herself around him and punching his head. Sofia hits my arm, motions to Atlas.

We jump in and peel the rabid Celia off Luke. She lands on the ground, one knee down, all her fingers spread on the mats as Sage jumps in. “Jeez, what’s wrong? You accidentally let one of your hostages escape today? Did the other guys make you hurt her? Did you enjoy it!”

“Stop it! I would never do that!” Celia dives for Sage, but she’s so upset that her aim is off and Sage leaps out of the way just in time. Atlas rushes to protect his sister and Celia snarls at him. He’s hunched over. She knows he’s going to chide her next.

“Hey Ceels.” He crooks a finger. “C’mon. Where you gettin’ your millions from? Sellin’ people like cattle? Sellin’ your daughter to a bunch of evil pricks? You wanna do that?”

She swipes the air with a low kick, “Never!” and drops him to the ground. He could have dodged it, but he didn’t. Jumping on Atlas, she pummels him until he grabs her arms and throws her off. But she comes running, tears flying behind her. He throws his arms over his face, lets her punch his ribs.

I grab Celia and she flails against me, so out of her mind that she almost breaks free. I pin her arms behind her, whisper in her ear, “Hey Ceels, I love you.” She goes rigid, chest panting. “You know how I know you’re not evil? I wouldn’t love you if you were, and I do. I love you. And so do they. Let it go. Let this doubt and shame leave you right now, you hear me? I love you.” Her body crumbles, back falling into my chest. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her head as she sobs. “It’s okay, I’m here. We’re all here with you. You’re not going through this alone.” Atlas, Sofia Sol, Luke, and Sage all come closer, touching her, telling her they love her and that she’s stuck with them.

She laughs through her tears as they point to future bruises she caused. “Thank you guys.”

Soph smirks, “I would say anytime, but nah.”

Four of them are facing the house and their eyes lock onto something. I look over my shoulder to our audience of elders. Everyone’s on the porch, including her parents, our President, his crew and their wives, plus the awe-struck twins and Tonk Jr. who nods, saying calmly, “That’s another way to heal.”