STACY

It’s almost June, and I feel like I’m ready. There have been many times when I almost told him I was, but then I worried about crying during it, or stopping him, or just plain having my past experience taint our first one.

Daniel is on a date as we get ready for bed, and Celia fell asleep tucked into the back of the couch, so the apartment is quiet.

He opens the refrigerator for my glass of water from the purifier—one of the few luxuries he likes to have. The Ciphers are funding his schooling and lifestyle, and Tonk never takes it for granted.

“Al has a dodgeball game planned for next weekend. He knows a lot of people. Would that be something you’d be interested in?”

“Let’s put Celia’s crib outside of our door for a little while tonight.”

Tonk’s pour freezes, little drops splashing into my glass. He locks eyes with me, his color deepening. “You sure?”

Biting my smile, I nod. “You look awfully cute in those boxers.”

He returns a sexy smile and puts the pitcher back in the fridge as he says, “I was thinking about what color panties you were going to sleep in tonight. Which ones are you wearing under those sweats?”

“Red.”

“No way.”

“I bought them when you were at class two days ago.”

He blinks at me, and walks my glass over. I take it and he pulls me in for a kiss, our tongues licking and teasing with a new feeling behind them—anticipation.

“Stacy,” he rasps, gazing at me with a frown, “If you need more time.”

I kiss him quiet, and slip my fingers into his soft hair, caressing his scalp as his hands slide down my back. He’s never let himself explore me. His palms slide flat, and then firm fingers give both my cheeks a squeeze, pulling up as our kiss deepens. He starts massaging, inspiring an ache between my legs. I get closer to him, press my breasts into his hard chest and feel the length of his bulge push into the soft cotton sweats I seem to live in when we’re at home.

Tonk’s fingers travel over the hem, tracing all the way around and I put a little distance between our stomachs so he can. Instead of going straight down the center of me, he slides his hands down my thighs and holds them, licking my tongue and pulling back to gaze into my smile. “I love you.”

An inhale of relief takes me over and I tell him, “I love you, too.”

He smiles, kissing my nose and glancing to my daughter. “Wait here. Or do you want to pick her up while I…”

“Sure.”

He strolls to the bedroom, his calf muscles so sexy as they tense with each barefooted step. I love his back, too, so smooth.

Lifting Celia when she’s sleeping is one of my favorite things. She always smacks her lips like she’s thinks it’s dinnertime, and then goes back to sweet repose. Hugging her close I murmur, “He loves me, Celia. How did we get so lucky?”

Tonk pulls the crib out, glancing over his shoulder. “We’ll bring it back in after.”

I laugh, “I know. You’re so cute right now.”

He grins and situates its position, muttering to himself, “This is good,” before he pulls her blanket back so I can lay her down. I feel his hand rest on my back, and slide all the way to my inner thigh. Covering Celia up I turn and hug him. He embraces me, lifts me off the floor and carries me into our room, shutting the door with his foot, super quietly.

We kiss for a long time, and then he slides my tank top up over my head. I’m not wearing a bra, so my breasts hang freely for him to see for the first time. All of this will be very new to both of us and I’m nervous.

Blinking at my nipples, Tonk traces circles over them. “They’re beautiful.”

I decide I want to do the same to him, and trace his. I’ve not dared before because I didn’t want things to escalate. As I touch him, he closes his eyes, and the dark skin tightens under my touch. “You’re sensitive here,” I murmur.

“Mmhmm.” Our gazes hold as we touch each other. Tonk explains one of his philosophies. I love hearing these, so I’m smiling as he says, “This is the skin we were born in. It’s ours to share or to keep. And we have to love it, because well, we’re kind of stuck with it. There is no other choice, why not shine love on our skin?”

Slipping my fingers into his hair I gaze up at him and earnestly say, “I am happy I met you.”

“Mutual.” He kisses me and travels those kisses down my neck where he nibbles a little. A flash of the memory when I called my mom with bruises on my neck, flashes before me. I release the memory, and tell myself, this neck is mine now. And I can trust this man with it.

“You okay?”

“Yes,” I smile, guiding his hand to my breast. “Please keep going. I want to be with you tonight.”

Delicately he lifts my nipple to his parted lips, breathes hotly on it and gives it a kiss. I sigh and he licks me a little, slowly at first. “Mmm.” This sound makes him sit me down on the bed. He kneels and licks my nipple for the longest time, with such love I begin to feel a sensation there when before I never did. I had no idea this could feel so good. He moves to the other and takes his time there, too, until tingles drift all over me. “Wow,” I whisper, light-headed.

His fingers slide across the top of my sweats and I rise up enough so he can pull them off. He tugs my panties with them, but takes his time and watches as each inch of me, all the way down to my ankles, is revealed to him. As he makes his way back up, his fingertips whisper over my skin, tickling a little. I smile and lie back, sigh, while he explores.

From out of nowhere a knot turns in my stomach. I feel guilty, selfish, and rise up. “Let me do you. I’ll kiss you like this.”

Frowning, he shakes his head, rising to press his lips between my brow. “It’s all about you tonight, Stacy. I’ve been wanting to do this for you. I need to.”

“Just stay up here with me this time, please.”

“Of course,” he frowns, blinking at me like he should have known I’d need it that way this time. “If that’s what you want, I’ll do it.”

“I need to see your face.”

To know you’re not him.

Understanding flickers behind his eyes as he nods, fingertips tracing my jaw before our lips touch. Against them he reassures me, “I’ll be right here. It’s me. Just you, me, and Celia.” He briefly kisses me. “And Daniel.”

I laugh. It breaks the ice. He grins and lays on the bed with me, both of us on our sides facing each other. We explore like we’ve got nowhere else to be for years.

“I’m naked and you’re not.”

“You want me to take these off?” He snaps the elastic on his boxers.

“Yes.” I tug them down and he lifts his hip off the bed to help, and he keeps his hand on mine. It’s a touchstone, and I appreciate it. I saw his erection but I didn’t allow myself to really look yet. Turning to take it in, my lips part. The skin is smooth and taut because he’s very erect. But his eyes are kind and patient. I touch him and return to lying how we were. His eyes close for a second as I stroke his silkiness. “You trim your hair?”

“I do.”

“Me too.”

“I noticed,” he smiles and rolls on his back as I climb on top of him. Vic never let me do this because he wanted to be in control. And while I like that, I grew to hate it from him.

Tonk watches me and adjusts his body, sliding his hands up my stomach until he cups my breasts and holds them. I’ve flattened his erection to his abdomen, and I’m sitting on it, the split in my pussy holding it in place, my tiny bean against his veins. Leaning down for a kiss I gaze into his eyes and memorize this moment. I rise up a little and guide his tip against my pussy, pushing in slightly as we stare at each other.

“You want to go slower?”

“No, I need you.”

“You’re very wet, Stacy.”

“I’m pulsing. It’s just my heart that worries.”

“About?”

“That I’ll wake up.”

He pulls me down for a soft kiss. “You did. The nightmare is over.”

I take him inside of me and we carefully begin to move, checking in with each other. I let my eyes drift down and watch him disappearing inside of me, enjoying that he looks so different in every way than my past. This settles my tension a bit and I let myself enjoy us. “Tonk,” I moan, throwing my head back and letting pleasure rise with each full penetration.

His hands grip my hips, and he’s panting, watching me ride him, letting me lead. “You’re so…Stacy, I love you.”

I fall onto him and we kiss as the primal feelings take over. I’d forgotten how good sex can feel. With Tonk I’m coming out of hibernation, and I hope it’s for good. Please let it be for good.

As we stare at each other, he’s trying to hold back. “I’ve never had sex with someone I love before. It’s so much better. I’m having a hard time though. It’s so good!”

“I’m on the pill,” I murmur against his lips. “I’ve been on it for months. You can do whatever you like. I want you to be so happy you can’t hold it back.”

He frowns, “No, this time is us together. And that’s my aim from now on, anyway. I’m not leaving you behind.”

Our lips lock, tongues teasing as he guides my hips in circles. The burn pulls from inside of my pussy, and I separate from the kiss to moan.

He moves a little quicker, eyelids hooded. We stare at each other as I hit the edge but can’t go over. Tonk senses this, and repeats, “The nightmare is over. You’re awake now. It wasn’t real. We’re real. This is real.”

I gasp as heat breaks free inside of my body. My nipples go taut and I throw my head back, riding the man who saved me when I thought there was no hope. A high-pitched moan pants out of me as I cum for the first time in over a year. Tonk winces and keeps moving, bringing it sharper and more intense. He groans, eyes rolling back as he joins me. His cock fills and bursts with jerking spasms that he can no longer control. I fall onto his chest and kiss him, drink up his moans as his arms wrap around me and hold me tight.

As the quakes slow we gasp for breath and grin at each other. “Not bad for a first time,” he smiles. “Think we’re compatible?”

I laugh and kiss his chin, then dip for his ear, whispering in it, “A little.”

After we clean up, we check on my daughter and find her in the exact same spot. I lift her so he can bring the crib back in with us. She wakes momentarily, but she’ll sleep a few more hours at least before she’s hungry again.

We lie in bed, naked, him on his back, me on him, one of my legs over his two. “I want to go back to school.”

“Great idea,” he smiles. “I’m in full support of that.”

I close my eyes knowing this is not an act he’s putting on. He means that. Tonk Jr.’s not just in full support of my resuming my studies, he’s in full support of anything I decide. We’re just getting to know each other, but as the years pass, he’ll find me just as encouraging of him along his journey. I’ll take a while to get used to being loved like this, but when I finally believe it, he’s going to have the best wife he could imagine.

I know when I first met him, I thought him strange. He wasn’t like anything I was used to. Is that the answer? To choose something opposite of our norm? Is happiness lying behind a face we’d never have looked at, a shirt we didn’t think ‘our style,’ a tennis shoe not quite the right shape?

I’ll never have the answers, not until the game is over. But now at least I’m playing with a partner who plays fair.

Celia will have a brother and a sister coming soon. She’ll never feel they’re more special to Tonk because they’re his blood. In fact, she won’t know he’s not her father for many years, until she’s ready to hear. But we will tell her. Only not while it can hurt the foundation we want to build for her self-esteem, her future, her life.

What we believe we are capable of is what we get back in return. I’m just lucky Tonk was more confident than I was. I know some people can pull themselves out of hell, but when you’re that deep in darkness, it’s hard to believe there was ever light.

“You still awake?” he murmurs, sleepily tracing my wrist with his thumb.

“I was just thinking.”

“About?”

“About our future.”

“Is it good?”

“No.”

He laughs, “Yes, it is. You just watch.”

To read his sister Celia’s love story, It is a full-length novel. Only the holiday books are novellas in this series. I hope you enjoyed Tonk and Stacy’s love story!