My phone has been blowing up all morning. To stay focused I’ve ignored it, but when we’ve almost arrived at the auditorium my secretary’s name lights up the screen for the third fucking time. That’s not a good sign. Is something wrong with the event? Did they move it and I’m driving in the wrong direction?

Staring out at Savannah blurring past my tinted window I swipe to answer, “Yes, Mary.”

“Mr. Cocker, I’m sorry but something has happened, sir. I’m not sure how to tell you this.”

I snap upright as my heart stops. “Who is it? What happened? Why haven’t my parents called to tell me? Are they hurt?”

“No, sir. Oh, I don’t know how to say it!”

“Just spit it out, Mary!”

“Mr. Cocker, there was a woman…”

“Yes? What is it?!”

“…who claims to have had your child.”

My lungs close and I croak, “What?!”

“Five years ago, sir.”

“WHAT?!! Who the fuck is she?”

“Tanny Walters?”

My brain swims around Tanny’s smiling face. I remember Tanny well. She was a waitress at The Vortex I hooked up with more than a few times. A fun girl. Nuts about me but not in an ugly, desperate way. Which is why I’m even more confused than ever.

“What?! That makes no sense! Why is she pulling this shit now?” With a malicious laugh I mutter, “She doesn’t know me very well if she thinks she can sabotage me with this bullshit. Have you told my family?”

“I haven’t told anyone, sir!”

“Does she want to blackmail me?”

“No, sir, she’s been in an accident, Mr. Cocker. Tanny died two days ago.”

I sway as the car parks outside where I’m giving my speech. Stunned, my anger softens into confusion. “She’s dead? Tanny died?”

“Sir, the grandmother, Tanny’s mother that is, she wants to…oh, I don’t know how to tell you so I’ll just spit out and be done with it. She wants you to take the child.”

“Me?!!” I explode. “She wants me to take the child?! Are you fucking kidding me!?!” The driver locks eyes with me in the rearview mirror. I wave to him to hold on a minute. “What the fuck is she thinking?”

“Sir, the woman isn’t well. They live in Savannah. She’s coming to see you.”

“She’s what?! How the hell did she know I was here?” Then I remember Jaimie’s it’s not hard to Google. “She searched my events, didn’t she? The crazy old bat searched me.”

“She’s not crazy, Mr. Cocker. She’s stage four with pancreatic cancer.”

Stunned, I slump back in my seat, staring blankly at memories, as the enormity of what I’ve just been told sinks in. I know this type of cancer all too well. Grandmother Lucy, my mom’s mother, had it. She died three weeks after diagnosis and we never even got to say goodbye. We all thought she had more time. But they never diagnose pancreatic cancer until it’s almost the end. It always seems like it’s something else before the doctors realize.

The back of the car starts spinning around me. “Okay, Mary. Thank you.” I hang up while she’s still talking. Dialing Jason immediately comes entirely out of instinct. I’m numb and disoriented. Can barely think.

“Justin! Hey, I was just thinking about you. Everything okay? I had this weird feeling.”

“I need you, Jason,” I choke. “Can you come to Savannah?”

His voice drops to a lower register. “Yes. I’ll come right now.”

“I’m staying at The Bohemian. Just say you forgot the key. They’ll think you’re me.”

“Okay,” he says. “But it’ll take me four hours to drive there.”

“I know that.”

“Your speech will be over.”

“It’s not about my speech or my campaign. I…oh fuck, Jase. Just come. I’ll explain when you get here. Please hurry. Get a speeding ticket if you have to. I’ll pay for it.”

“Fuck off. If I get one I’ll pay for it. I’m on my way. I’ll make it in three hours if I can.” The line goes dead and I nod to the driver that I’m ready.

Inside, everything is moving slower. People blur together and then it shifts to where it’s like I have double vision.

“This way, Mr. Cocker.” In shock I follow the event administrators toward backstage.

Jaimie and her father have already arrived.

She and I lock eyes for a brief moment.

Her frown deepens as she sees an expression on my face she doesn’t understand.

A man introduces himself with an apologetic tone, his voice lowered for privacy. “Your daughter is waiting in the green room, sir.”

I nearly pass out at the words. My what? This isn’t real. I’m going to wake up any second in my bed and start the day over.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any offense when I told her nanny you weren’t available to answer questions until after the speeches were done. It was stupid of me. I should have recognized her! She looks so much like you, sir. I told them to eat whatever they like.”

“Show me,” I choke.

“Right in there.” He points to a nondescript door, and disappears.

Walking toward it my world grows small. I reach for the vibrating silver doorknob and slowly turn it. Inside, standing nervously in the middle of a clean room with a long table set up for snacks to her left, is a woman over sixty with legs so skinny they shouldn’t be able to hold her. Her skin is jaundiced from cancer and she’s holding the hand of a beautiful little girl who is the female version of Jason and I when we were five. Straight, white-blonde hair that falls past her shoulders is neatly combed. She’s in tiny jeans, a yellow t-shirt and sneakers. In her hands is a pink alien that used to be fuzzy. She sniffles, nose and eyes red from crying.

Fresh tears fall down the grandmother’s cheeks as she begins, “Mr. Cocker, I’m Claire Walters. I’m so sorry. I asked them not to tell you we were here until after your speech. But that man was so embarrassed and he kept blabbering on. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I know it’s a big day! I’m so sorry.”

I can’t take my eyes off the child. “What do you want?”

“Well, I…I’ve just lost my daughter, Tanny. Do you remember her?”

Meeting the woman’s eyes, I hoarsely admit, “Of course. I liked Tanny very much. I’m sorry for your loss.”

She digs in her tan purse for a tissue, and wipes her eyes with it. “You heard.”

“My secretary called me.”

“Did she tell you why I’m here?”

“Yes,” I croak. “But I think you made a mistake. First I have to know, how did it happen?”

“She was leaving the restaurant where she works, to come home. But she parked across the street because it was free. She didn’t look both ways! She was wearing her black uniform. They didn’t see her.” Her face crumbles and she starts to sob. “They didn’t see my Tanny,” she whispers, covering her face.

The little girl sniffles and my body starts shaking as I realize she knows her mother is gone. That’s why she’s been crying, not because she’s scared she’s about to be given to the devil. I kneel down in front of her. “What’s your name?”

Tightening the alien doll against her chest she whispers in the cutest voice, “Hannah.”

“Hi Hannah,” I whisper, unable to believe this isn’t some sort of nightmare. “Uh…I’m Justin. Do you know who I am?”

She nods, which almost knocks me over. I stand up and face the grandmother. “How is this possible? Why wasn’t I told?”

“She was afraid you would think she got pregnant on purpose. My daughter was a proud woman, and she would never have done something like that.”

“But maybe I wanted to know.”

Claire Walters pauses with doubt in her eyes. “She said you didn’t want to be a….” She glances to Hannah and lets the word ‘father’ stay silent.

She knew I didn’t want to be a dad.

Holy shit.

This is my fault.

Claire continues, “I’m sure you’ll want to have tests done. I don’t blame you. But she insisted you were the only man she’d been with for a very long time. I suppose it’s okay to tell you now that my daughter was secretly in love with you.”

I close my eyes as an invisible fist punches me in the chest.

“Mr. Cocker, you don’t have to, but I wanted to give you the option. I thought it was only right. Hannah’s such a good girl.” She squeezes her granddaughter’s hand and they look at each other, both of them red-eyed. “So smart! I have a sister who I don’t talk to anymore, but she might be willing to take Hannah. You see, I’m sick.”

“Mary told me. I’m familiar with what you have, and I’m sorry. You’ve been through more than any person should be.”

“I just think Hannah should be with someone in her immediate family. I’m the only one left…besides you. I know it’s a lot to accept so quickly. But I had to try.”

“Why don’t you talk to your sister anymore?”

Her eyes drift off as she explains, “Enid has always been a little hard. We don’t see eye to eye. I’m an artist. A painter. She never understood such things, called them frivolous. Rather set in her ways.” She locks eyes with me. “She’s from another age, my sister. But she wouldn’t turn her back. I know she wouldn’t.”

Will I? Will I turn my back now that I know?

It’d be so easy just to give Enid a call.

I pull up my suit pants and squat in front of Hannah. She’s unafraid of me, gazing back with pale green eyes so like my own. Her little mouth is squished shut as she waits for me to decide.

An event staffer pokes her head inside. “They’re ready for you, Mr. Cocker.”