Mom blinks back to the pan with pursed lips and flips over two perfectly browned pancakes shaped like the famous mouse’s head.

Dad glances around and asks, “Who’s Jaimie?”

Jaxson rats me out. “The woman friend Justin has spent every day with since this happened.”

“Jaimie Rothdale,” Jason smirks.

Dad’s head whips around. “Senator Rothdale’s girl?”

“Well, she’s more woman than girl, Dad,” Jason smirks. “Ask Justin.”

“I don’t like you,” I mutter to my twin.

“Has she been helping you, Justin?” Mom asks, eyes wary.

“She’s been his life raft,” Jeremy mutters, dark eyes locked on me.

“We’re friends. Everyone give it a rest.” Glancing to Jake I snap, “You want to say something, too?”

He shrugs, “Nope. Doesn’t surprise me at all.”

“Now what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means.”

“Fuck you guys!” I growl, heading for my room. “I’m going to the bathroom. Would you all like to come in and tell me how to do that, too?” I slam the door and pace alone in my bedroom, feeling my heart pound so hard I feel it in the back of my knees.

A rap on the door sounds and I almost shout a whole slew of cuss words, but bite my tongue. Jason pokes his head in. “You don’t have a gun on you, right?”

“Ha ha,” I dryly mutter.

He closes the door behind him and crosses his arms. “What’s up?”

“I’m sick of this family being so damn tight! Can’t move without someone up my ass about it.”

“Uh huh,” he nods, chewing on his lips. “You want your old life back? Is that it?”

I reel on him. “No! I wouldn’t give Hannah up for anything. I just want everyone to back the fuck off.”

“Uh huh,” he repeats, eyeing me.

“What, Jason? What’s that face for?”

His eyebrows shoot up. “You don’t like my face? It’s your face, too.”

Smiling through my anger I shake my head. “Stop it. I can see you judging the fuck out of me. I’m not like you. Okay? I don’t want marriage and the whole thing. This happened.” I point out to the main room where my daughter is. “And I’m handling it. No, I’m not just handling it, I’m happy about it, and I wished I’d known about it sooner. But that’s where it ends. I don’t need a wife.”

“Uh huh.” He shrugs. “The thing is, Justin, if you didn’t care about her, you wouldn’t be fighting it this much.”

“That’s bullshit!”

“Is it? Picture this scenario.” He fans his hands out mid-air like framing a movie still. “We’re out there, everyone having a good time. I ask where Jaimie is. Everyone gets quiet.”

“That’s what happened.”

“I’m not finished. And then…wait for it…you say, simply and without emotion or dodging us or looking at the floor — I’m not into her. And then we all go back to our brunch, because that’s what normal Justin would say.” He crosses his arms. “But instead you blew up like a kid and had a temper tantrum.”

Rubbing my face I groan, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Okay, fine. Come back out and grow the fuck up. Thanks for listening. Oh, and I love you.” He winks at me and goes to leave, but I grab his arm.

“How do I get back out there?”

We stare at each other.

Jason offers, “We could switch clothes and I’ll take the heat.”

A grin springs onto my face. “Let’s do that.”

Throwing an arm around him we both go out as is, in our own clothes. But I know he would have switched with me, and that means a lot. Just like in the old days. God, that one trip of his to Yale. We had so much fun.

Our family is pretty much back to normal, but conversations pause as we appear. Nobody’s going to hold onto the drama I just caused, except Mom’s soft brown eyes are watching me with a curiosity that won’t quit. Hannah is in her arms and as I walk over she says, “Well, at least one good thing came out of that. Look who came running to me?”

Hannah reaches for me. Such a relief. Walking away for privacy, I tell her, “Hey, I’m sorry about that.” She’s staring ahead, no expression on her face. She does this when she’s trying to understand something, kind of goes into herself. “Hannah, you know how you get upset sometimes?” Her eyes meet mine. “That’s what just happened to me. Adults get angry, too. You hadn’t seen me mad before, so I hope I didn’t scare you.” Her head burrows into my neck. “Hey, I’m sorry if I did. I’ll be more careful.”

Glancing away, my gaze falls on Jeremy. He’s frowning at me, hands in his pockets. He walks over and in a low volume asks, “How do you do it?”

“This?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m learning. And screwing up a lot, as you just witnessed. You worried about you?”

He nods once. “Everyone’s got one. I guess I’m the last to go.” As he walks away from me, haunted, I quietly call him back to us.

“Jeremy.” He turns and I hold his eyes with meaning. “If you ever want to talk.” He nods, but he isn’t interested and is already dismissing the idea, so I offer up someone else who I think might help. “Call Jett.”

Dark chocolate eyes narrow as he returns to me, his hand reaching out to pet Hannah’s head. She’s still tucked into my chest. “Why him?”

“Jett’s done some things you’ve done.”

He stares at me with a look that asks, You mean murder?

Keeping my choice of words vague for my daughter’s benefit, I quietly explain so I don’t piss off Dad, “His motorcycle club helps people, but let’s just say they do it by way of non-traditional methods. I can see you’re haunted, Jeremy. He could help you find peace with what you had to do out there. What you were trained to do. Nobody laughs more than Jett and he should laugh the least.”

Jeremy gives me a crooked smile of acknowledgment. “That’s true. He doesn’t hold back on the laughter, does he?” His dark eyes go distant as he thinks about it. “Maybe I will. Thanks.” To Hannah, he cranes around to see her face. “You want to come see Aslan sometime?”

Suddenly she’s no longer hiding. “Yes!”

He grins at her, looking more like the kid I used to know. “Anytime you want, gorgeous. He’s a big dog, but he’s very friendly.” Jeremy walks away and I lock eyes with Mom. She’s staring at me with a look I don’t like.