Chapter Thirty-Two
It was a long while before Lanie was comfortable enough to find sleep, and not because the jet’s bunks were uncomfortable. Tucker Quentin hadn’t skimped on creature comforts during the jet’s remodel. But her side hurt, and her heart hurt, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that Jesse was avoiding her.
She finally fell asleep somewhere over the Atlantic. When she woke, the plane was over land. She groped around under her pillow for her phone and the time. She’d slept for six hours. They had to be close to home now.
She rolled over and realized for the first time she was no longer alone. Someone had claimed the other bed.
No, not just someone. Her someone. Her only one.
Jesse was propped against the wall, long jean-clad legs hanging over the edge of the bunk. He’d traded one of his boots for an air cast, and she was glad to see it. About time he took care of himself instead of everyone else. His Stetson tipped down over his face like a cowboy in an old Western and judging by his lolling head, he was sound asleep. He’d wake up with one hell of a neck ache.
She swung out of her bed and grabbed her pillow. She stuffed it between his shoulder and the wall and gently pushed his head toward it.
He woke with a start, then winced and rubbed his neck. “Ah, damn.”
God, he was cute sometimes. “Why didn’t you lay down?”
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he said and yawned. “I came in to see how you were doin’, sat down, and that’s the last I remember.”
“How long were you out?”
He checked his watch. “Twenty minutes.”
Not nearly long enough, she thought. Exhaustion lined his handsome face and carved shadows under his eyes. She reached out and gently traced one of those lines with her fingertips. He caught her wrist, turned his lips to her palm. The tender brush of his lips sent bolts of desire right down her center.
She stepped toward him, letting her intent show clearly in her eyes. He didn’t try to stop her. She climbed up onto the bed and straddled his lap. Kissing him, the man she’d loved for more years than she cared to admit, felt like a trip down the rabbit hole, where reality and unreality collided. But this time she let herself fall, because whether or not this was real, she needed it. Needed him. She’d put on the tough act for the benefit of the guys, but in truth, her nerves were shot. Jesse knew it, too. That was why he was sitting here, watching over her, when he should be resting himself. He knew her. He knew that without him, without this kiss, she’d be lying in her bunk, sobbing, trying to pull herself back together so nobody saw how much the last twelve hours had destroyed her.
Oh God, she wanted him.
She surged forward and sealed her mouth back to his. He groaned, a rumble of need from deep in his chest. His hands moved from her hips to her spine, pressing her closer. She broke contact just long enough to pull off her shirt. He tensed up underneath her at the sight of her bullet wound and played his fingers over the edge of the white gauze bandage.
“Don’t. I’m okay. We both are.” She stopped his hand, and instead guided it up to her breast. He cupped her, molded her into his palm. She loved watching him explore her body, loved the contrast of his tanned skin against her darker. He traced light circles around her nipple until it puckered so hard it ached. Only then did he dip his head and suck it into his mouth, simultaneously relieving some of the delicious pressure building inside her and igniting it.
She bowed back, giving him better access. “Jesse, I need you. Do you have—”
He was already pulling a condom from his pocket. She lifted herself enough to finish undressing. Watched him unzip and roll the condom on. There was something undeniably sexy in the careless way he handled himself. She prowled back onto his lap and settled over him again, but he caught her hips before she could sink down his length.
“Lanie, wait. Are you sure you’re well enough to do this?”
She leaned in and nipped his bottom lip. “Yes. I need you.”
“Thank God.” He filled her in one deep thrust. Her body ached from the beating it had taken, but she ignored it all, rolled her hips and focused on the heat and sensations only Jesse had the power to stir within her.
Each time their bodies came together, she felt more alive. Although they both may have come close last night, neither of them was dead yet.
She came fast in a long sweep of pleasure that left her bones rubber and her muscles liquid. But no, she wasn’t ready for it to be over yet. The connection was too intimate, too perfect. Everything she needed. She slowed the roll of her hips until she was barely moving, instead using her inner walls to stroke him.
Jesse’s entire body coiled tight. His head fell back against the wall, and his hands tightened around her waist. The tendons in his neck popped as he fought to hold back his orgasm. Even now he was fighting, always so afraid to lose his grip on his control.
She leaned forward, nuzzled his neck, kissed his ear. “I love you, Jesse.”
She tightened around him again. His fingers dug into her back and his hips bucked upward as he finally let go.
“Oh, Jesus,” he breathed and leaned into her, pressing his forehead to her chest. His breath cooled the sweat on her skin.
She smiled and tangled her fingers into his hair. They’d knocked his Stetson off. “Helluva long night,” she murmured.
And, like that, the deep, strong bond she thought they’d just forged together snapped.
“Yeah.” Groaning, he picked her up, set her aside, and stood to deal with the condom. He came back a moment later, zipped and buttoned. A sure sign he wasn’t looking for a round two. He stared at her for a long moment, and she got the feeling he was rehearsing some kind of speech inside his head.
Oh yeah. He was definitely going to break her heart again.
And, still, she didn’t regret it.
He picked up his Stetson. Knocked it against his thigh like it was dirty. “My head’s fucked right now. I keep replayin’ Danny’s…and then Connor and you and—” He stopped, seemed to regroup. “I’m gonna need some time, Lanie.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. She climbed off the bed, found her underwear and tank top, and pulled them on. Whatever was coming, she was sure it wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have naked.
“I’m gonna need some time,” he said again, and she wondered if he was trying to convince himself or her. “Unless you still want our relationship to be only about sex?”
“You know I don’t. Honestly, I never wanted to stop there. I was just…afraid.” She drew a breath. If she was going to tell the truth, it was now or never. “You broke my heart when we were kids.”
“I know,” he said softly. “I feel awful for that. I didn’t know what I was doin’.”
“I loved you, Jesse Warrick. I guess I never stopped.”
“What I feel for you… Christ, it scares me.” He put the Stetson on and gazed down at her from under the brim. “But I’ve been down this road three times before. Every time I thought I was in love, and I thought the woman I loved was in love with me, through thick and thin. And every time, I got my heart stomped on. I don’t want to get hurt again, but more than that, I have to think about Connor. I’ve spent way too little time thinkin’ about what’s best for him and I need to make that up to him.” He lightly traced her cheek with the tips of his fingers. “So give me time to sort out all of my shit. Can you wait for me?”
She nodded and he bent down to kiss her very gently on the lips. Then he was gone.
She touched her lips. Yes, she’d wait for him. Hell, she’d already waited nearly twenty years. What was a few more?