Mackenzie
I woke up with a sudden need to run from the cabin.
Entangled in Jake’s arms I was struck with a sudden paralyzing surge of panic that tore up my spine and prickled at the base of my skull. I lay rigid and still, crippled by the storm of anxiety taking place inside of me.
But then my phone started to buzz with all the messages from the past three days and my arm shot out to retrieve it from the small bedside table beside me. Thirty-seven messages. Most of them about Daisy and her latest drama, which involved her being thrown off a flight to Vegas for bad behavior. Now the CEO of the fashion label that paid her a truckload of money to lend her pure, innocent face to their latest perfume release, wanted to talk. It was bad news when they wanted to talk.
The last message I received was from Garrick and it had been sent the night before. It was a picture of him and my father with Purgatory, out to dinner and smiling, and it was like a giant vat of ice-cold water being thrown over me.
What was I doing? I needed to get out of there.
With my anxiety attack in full flight, I rolled out of bed, desperately trying not to wake Jake as I untangled myself from his embrace and searched for my clothes scattered on the floor. It took me a few minutes but I eventually managed to get into my jeans and shirt.
I had to go. I had to get as far away from here as possible. For Jake.
And because my cousin was stealing Purgatory right out from under my nose because I had let myself be so distracted by the glorious man lying amongst the sheets in front of me.
I stopped for a moment to draw in a deep breath and to calm my wild nerves. I had broken every rule I had about getting involved with clients and I didn’t want Jake to be the one who paid for it. He deserved better. He deserved to have his career back. Not get caught up with some mental case like me.
I grabbed my hairband from the little table by the fireplace and began to pull my hair back. When Jake moved and moaned in his sleep I jerked to a pause and waited for him to resume his deep slumber.
I didn’t want him to wake up. I sucked at goodbyes and I had a feeling that this one was going to hurt.
As I hunted for my boots I pushed back the memory of the kiss on the porch and what we had said afterwards. That this was something. That this was real. Because it wasn’t. Even though it was delicious and he had given me multiple orgasms, and it was the best sex I had ever experienced, Jake was my client—not my boyfriend. Christ, where the fuck were my boots? I whirled around looking for them. I had to get out of here. I had to get out of here now.
Finding my boots by the front door I pulled them on, awkwardly balancing on one leg as I slid up the zips.
“Are you seriously trying to sneak away?”
Jake’s voice startled me and I swung around.
Lying there tangled in the sheets and blankets, naked and wearing only a delicious, dimpled grin on his face, he looked too sexy for words. When he sat up, his tight stomach rippled with muscle and the mere sight of him sent desire spiraling throughout every nerve and fiber of my being.
Jesus Christ, he was a gorgeous human being.
“I don’t think you’ve thought your escape route out thoroughly,” he said with a grin. “You know, considering we’re fifteen miles out of town and your car is probably under a layer of snow.”
The humor left his face when I looked him in the eye and he saw the panic there. He immediately sat up straighter.
“Z—”
“I have go,” I said, and unable to bear the look on his face looked away and began to hunt for my gloves.
“Where are we going?” he asked it as if nothing was wrong, but at the same time his voice tight and braced for the bad stuff he knew was coming.
I turned back to face him. My anxiety attack began to wane but that only opened the doors for a flood of guilt to wash through me. “Jake—”
He cut me off. “What happened, Mackenzie?”
“I have to get back to the real world,” I said meekly. It was a pathetic reply. Especially since the two people in this cabin both knew I was running away.
“Don’t do this, Z.”
He said my nickname with such affection I had no choice but to look at him. He deserved to know why I was leaving but I didn’t know how to tell him.
I looked away to collect my thoughts but then cast my eyes back to him. “Last night . . . the night before . . . it shouldn’t have happened.”
Hurt rippled across his face and he grit his teeth. “Why?”
I stopped and frowned. “We both know this has only complicated things.”
He swallowed and I watched the rise of his broad chest as he drew in a deep breath. His eyes narrowed. “So, that’s it. We’re done?”
My heart ached at the thought. But what choice did I have?
I sat down on the bed—a safe distance from him.
He deserved to know that I wasn’t running because we had made love.
But how did I tell him I was running because I had fallen in love with him?
He didn’t need that complication right now.
I thought of Purgatory and momentarily closed my eyes. I needed to keep my eye on the goal and not get distracted by—by whatever this was.
Which was nothing.
I couldn’t love Jake. Because his future was riding on it.
I stood up and only half-turned to him, not making eye contact as I said, “I’m sorry, Jake. But I have to go.”
* * *