Jake
Leaving the cabin and the best four days of my life behind me, I returned home to find a party in full swing at my apartment in New York. An old high school buddy was staying in my apartment for a couple of days while his house got fumigated, and in an attempt to cheer me up and pull me out of my I killed my best friend funk, he’d decided to throw me a party when he heard I was coming back.
Which was the last thing I wanted.
As I walked through the front door Avenged Sevenfold blasted from speakers throughout the apartment. Every light in the joint was on and there were people everywhere. A couple was making out on the couch in the family room and another up against the wall in the hallway. In the kitchen two girls had a guy bailed up against the counter and were telling him off. They pointed their fingers at his chest and their heavily made up eyes were wide as they yelled at him.
I found Josh on the patio by the barbeque, with a girl under each arm.
“Hey, buddy!” He ditched the girls and strode across the impressive outdoor living area to give me a big hug. Because the central heating was turned up, half the people there were barely dressed. It was like a pool party without the pool. In winter. Josh was dressed in a bright pink and yellow Hawaiian shirt and boardshorts. On top of his unruly hair was a “Gone Fishing” slouch hat.
He greeted me with a hug and then pointed to my shaved face.
“Dude, you’re not rocking the fuzz,” he said, and then standing back shook his head. “Jesus Christ, you really are a handsome sonofabitch.”
I smiled, but it was half-hearted. Because I was half-hearted. Because the girl I was falling in love with had run away from me.
“Good to be home?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, but I think I might hit the sack.”
Josh looked alarmed. “Dude, look at what’s going on around you. It’s a party, man. Time to let your hair down and have a bit of fun!”
I looked around the apartment at all the people. I didn’t want to party. I wanted to find Mackenzie and pull her to me, to kiss and touch her, to spend the rest of my life making love to her.
I watched as two guys I didn’t even know fooled around with a blow-up sex doll on the sofa. One drew a giant penis beside her mouth while the other one lost his shit laughing.
I shook my head. I should’ve stayed at the cabin. But I couldn’t bear the emptiness and the solitude with Mackenzie gone.
My heart ached.
I missed her.
And it was ridiculous.
I told myself I was crazy. That after four days together, my feelings toward her were irrational. Hell, they were downright crazy talk. But no matter how much psychoanalysis I put myself through, my feelings remained the same—I was really into her.
A girl joined us. Her name was Leila and she was beautiful. And clearly interested. We had met a couple of times through Josh but we’d never gone there and it was obviously something she wanted to change. Josh departed, clearly leaving us alone because of some pre-arranged request by her.
She curled her bare arms around me. “Welcome home, Jake.”
I looked down at her. “Thanks.”
She licked her lips and ran a finger up and down my arm, fluttering her eyelashes up at me as she gave me some serious come-fuck-me-eyes.
Maybe that was the answer. Get over my feelings for Mackenzie by getting under someone else.
And damn, this girl was gorgeous.
There was only one problem: the thought made me sick to my stomach. Why? Because I didn’t want anyone else.
Yeah, but the girl you want doesn’t want you.
A wave of fatigue washed over me.
“I’m going to take a shower,” I said, untangling myself from Leila’s arms.
“Maybe I can come and help.” She threw me an inviting look—one that left no question as to what she wanted from me. And, damn, did I mention she was gorgeous? Long lashes fluttered again. “You know, I could help you with those places you can’t reach.”
The old Jake would’ve been in there like dynamite.
Then I thought of Mackenzie and how she’d walked away and my gut ached with loneliness. A loneliness I could no longer bear.
Maybe the old Jake was right.
Maybe the love ‘em and leave ‘em attitude was the safest of all.
Because the new Jake was miserable.
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