CHAPTER 5
TO MY SURPRISE, the engagement party was a huge success. It boasted a fine crowd that was neither too small nor too big. Guests brought tastefully wrapped gifts, which slid off of manicured fingertips and onto a glass dining table. Their River North apartment was the perfect backdrop to the upscale crowd. Snow-white plush carpet spanned the living room where guests congregated, and I idly wondered how Lucy kept it so pristine. Her spotless nature was enviable – she seemed to repel mess. Large windows framed Chicago’s dotted skyline while dim lighting illuminated the overstuffed white leather couches, a sleeping fireplace and a well-stocked bar.
I waved at Jack, a work acquaintance I had hired as bartender for the night. He gave me a wink, expertly pouring a martini into the empty glass of Lucy’s middle-aged colleague as she watched, rapt.
In the nearest window, I caught the reflection of my very fitted white dress that dipped just off my shoulders. Reluctantly, I decided to avoid the dessert table for the night. I peered out at the starless sky before turning slightly to marvel at the guests. It was easy to go unnoticed in this crowd. Despite Lucy and Andrew’s high society social circle, I was mildly dissatisfied with the company, overhearing tidbits here and there of the same old fodder. A tap on my bare shoulder caused me to start.
“Just a little something for the party planner.” Jack held out a red wine garnished with a dashing smile.
“Oh, well, this is exactly what I need,” I said, smiling. “How did you know?”
“Bartender’s sixth sense,” he said, placing a cold hand on my shoulder. I bit the inside of my cheek, and as politely as possible, shrugged out from under him. Turning back for the bar, he said, “Come find me later.” I agreed and brought the wine to my lips, instantly spilling some on the front of my dress.
In the kitchen, I cursed my clumsiness as I threw open the cupboards. Once I found a towel, I flipped on the faucet and wet it. When I turned from the sink, a small white hand towel pressed against the impurity on my breast, my gaze fell familiarly on those hooded eyes from the theater. The flush instantly returned and I was back there, as if no time had passed, frozen. I racked my brain; had we invited him? I didn’t know; couldn’t know. I had no idea who he was.
He flattened his hands on the surface of the island and jutted his hips out behind him. “Tell me your name.” His thick voice was my desire manifested. Words stuck in my mouth, choking me. It never occurred to me to question the intensity of his question, the urgency in his voice. “What’s your fucking name?” It wasn’t malicious, but pleading.
“Olivia,” I replied levelly, not recognizing my own voice.
“Olivia,” he repeated, momentarily satisfied. He reached a long arm over the island and placed his hand over my mine – the one that held, now clutched, the towel. Goosebumps lighted over my body at the contact, and I shuddered slightly. He took it from me, and I dropped my hand as he rounded the island, his eyes never leaving mine. Before I realized what was happening, he was there with the damp towel in his hand, pressed against my breast. “Olivia,” he said softly. “I’m desperate to know you.”
My lashes fluttered underneath him. I’d remembered his eyes as dark, but they were an indisputable light chestnut brown, intensified a thousand times by his jet black, bushy eyebrows. Their golden-brown color misaligned with his mysteriousness, almost painting him as divine-like. His freshly shaven jawline was angular and ended with a cleft chin, the only soft curve among otherwise chiseled features.
I tore my eyes from his gaze and looked down, swallowing so I might say something. I didn’t quite know if I should protest his brazen approach, or if I should listen to my body and move against him. Before I had a chance to respond though, Bill’s laugh floated in from the other room. I half-leaped back to the sink as he blew through the door with a leftover smile from his boisterous guffaw. He did not even notice the man, but came straight to me at the sink and linked his arm around my waist, leaning down to kiss my forehead.
“Livs,” he exclaimed. “Hugh insists the Bulls are headed toward defeat so I had to set him straight.” His loud voice carried back into the party.
“Your husband is this close to betting your down payment on the playoffs,” Hugh called from the other room, “and I can’t say I haven’t warned him.” I forced a small laugh for Bill while my insides turned over, and my heart fluttered like a trapped butterfly.
“Anyway,” he continued, “I just came for the sweets.” He smiled, just for me, and placed an oversized cupcake into a red napkin. Once he’d left, I glanced back at the man who’d never stopped watching me. His eyes slowly traveled the length of my left arm until they rested on my hand. I only had a moment to try and comprehend his fallen expression before I heard footsteps again. I moved around the island, distancing myself from his spell just as Andrew waltzed into the kitchen.
“Liv, where’ve you been?” he asked, just as he noticed the mystery man whose face, I thought, revealed too much. “Ah, David. Got it. Always one with the ladies.” Andrew laughed casually, nodding toward the man.
David, I thought. A common name; nothing out of the ordinary. But now I repeated it to myself behind sealed lips, as though it were the first time.
“Actually, we’ve not yet met,” David said coolly, and I turned to glare at him. He was calm and unperturbed, as if everything were normal. Slowly, he scrunched up the sleeves of his black V-neck pullover and rolled up the cuffs of the white button down underneath.
I, on the other hand, had been startled into silence. I did my best to mimic his relaxed stance, loosening my shoulders and releasing my death grip on the counter. He continued, “I was just . . . getting her a towel. She seems to have spilled something on herself.”
“I see, well Liv, this is David,” he introduced. “He’s the lead architect on our new office building in the Loop. And I hope if I hang around him enough, some of his charm will rub off.” He winked at me. “The ladies in my office can’t get enough of the guy,” he added, pulsing his eyebrows at David. “You usually have your hands full, though. No date tonight?”
David let out a short laugh, shaking his head as he wiped his brow with the back of his hand. Andrew just shrugged. He was always so nonchalant; his feathers rarely ruffled. He reminded me of Bill in that sense. Bill didn’t anger easily, but when he did, it was explosive. I wondered, watching Andrew’s easy smile, if he was the same.
My tongue shot into my cheek as I returned to studying David. He must have women falling all over him. I cringed, chastising myself for letting someone like him affect me. Someone who was that confident, someone who could relax on command and who was that smoldering – someone like that knew what he was doing. And was only interested in one thing. Someone like him, I thought, must have it so easy.
“Well,” I interjected curtly, having returned to myself, who was a little indignant. “Looks like I’m all cleaned up. Andrew, where’s Lucy? I’ve hardly seen her tonight.” I stepped backwards, distancing myself from him. “David,” I faltered for a split second, so that only someone watching closely would have noticed. “Nice to meet you.”
With that I turned and strode back into the party. I found Lucy within the next couple steps, despite the fact that I’d barely talked her at all.
“Livs,” she said, touching my arm. “Are you all right?”
“Fine, Luce!” My voice came out high-pitched and unnatural. “What a party. Professional planners?” I teased as I crinkled my nose.
Gretchen, who apparently had been keeping Jack company, saw us and ran over.
“You guys are amazing,” Lucy said, looking from one to the other. “Thank you for doing this.” Just then an impeccably-timed server passed with a tray of bubbling champagne. Following Gretchen’s lead, we held up our glasses to each other.
“To you, Lucy, and your fiancé,” - Lucy smiled at the word – “all the best!” We each took a giddy sip.
“Who is that?” Gretchen asked suddenly, but I didn’t need to turn to know. Lucy sought out Gretchen’s mystery man and nodded knowingly when her eyes fixated behind me.
“That’s David,” Lucy stated. “He’s doing work for Andrew’s firm and they’ve bonded over sailing.” Noticing Gretchen’s raised eyebrows she said, “I know.”
“Sailing?” I asked.
“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” She pushed me with her fingertips. “Andrew wants to get a boat.”
“He is just . . .” Gretchen trailed off, and I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. A deceptively innocent smile touched her lips as she seemed to make eye contact with him. He breezed by the three of us with Lucy and Gretchen’s eyes conspicuously on him, and I was incensed that he might think we were talking about him. “Look at that ass,” Gretchen commented, her mouth twisting into an appreciative smirk.
“Oh Gretchen, don’t be vulgar!” Lucy cried.
“I’m just stating the obvious,” she said simply. “Don’t tell me you weren’t thinking the exact same thing, Lucille Marie.” Lucy blushed crimson at the suggestion and looked away. “That’s what I thought,” Gretchen said with a nod and we laughed.
When I saw her sharp eyes still concentrated in his direction, my laughter quickly faded. For the first time in a long time, I remembered the excitement that came from being unattached, excitement born of possibility and anticipation. “I’ll have to introduce myself later,” she said, more to herself than to us. Panic descended.
“I met him in the kitchen,” I blurted, “and he seems like a jerk. Andrew practically said he is a playboy. I wouldn’t bother.” My temperature rose, and I wondered how many girls he had suckered in with those eyes; how often he got what he wanted.
Gretchen gave me a curious glance, but it passed and she shrugged. “I’m not looking to marry the guy.”
Lucy waved down a passing tray and handed us each a mini tuna tartare. “It’s true. Andrew says since he’s met him, he’s seen him with a few different women, and they were all striking. Yes, Andrew actually said ‘striking.’”
“No thanks,” Gretchen said, waving the appetizer away. “Are we still on for lunch this week?”
I pivoted slightly so I could see David from the corner of my eye. The bass of his endlessly deep voice vibrated in my ears as he talked animatedly with someone, and I strained to hear.
Lucy’s voice cut unwelcomingly into my stalking attempt. “Olivia! My God, what is with you? You’re acting strange.”
“What? What did I do?” I asked dazedly.
“We’re talking about lunch on Monday. She asked if you’re still coming?”
“Lunch?”
“Yes. Park Grill? Bridal magazine bonanza.”
“Oh, lunch. Shit, I forgot.” I tugged absentmindedly at my right earlobe, my brows furrowed, still trying to hear while answer Lucy. “That should be fine, yes.”
“K, let’s meet at your office at eleven-thirty and walk together.” Lucy said something else and looked at me.
“Sure, of course,” I replied. “Um, excuse me.” I ducked across the living room, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. Was I crazy? Why was I letting him get under my skin?
I was experiencing an overwhelming need to get out of the crowd, and I knew exactly where to do it. I pulled open the sliding glass door to the balcony, took a lungful of fresh air and then coughed as smoke filled my throat. I yanked the heavy door shut behind me when I spotted two lit cigarettes in the corner. One of the smokers I recognized as Andrew’s receptionist and nodded a hello to her. She looked about to say something, but I left for the opposite end of the balcony before she could.
The iron railing felt cool under my palms when I touched it. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my bare skin. In my haste, I hadn’t thought to grab a jacket.
Every time I looked out at the skyline, it was like the first time. Tiny blocks of light scattered randomly into the pattern of buildings, and I wondered about the inhabitants; what they were doing in that very moment. Leaning my stomach over the barrier, I examined the city below. It wasn’t a long drop from the eighth floor, but it was enough to accelerate my heartbeat.
“Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?” my mother screamed. I hid behind the stucco wall and peered through the glass door as my father raised his hands in exasperation.
“Leanore, you’re being ridiculous. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Like you don’t trust me!”
“How can I trust you when you’re flirting with every woman in the hotel lobby! And in front of your daughter!”
“Don’t you bring Olivia into this,” he said, sticking his finger in her face. “This is your problem and you’re ruining our vacation. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I turned away from the door and looked over the railing that hit right below my eyes. My fingers grasped the bars of the balcony, and I pulled on them as I lifted myself onto the balls of my feet. I wondered what it might be like to fly. Had anyone ever tried? Perhaps it was possible and nobody knew it. We’d learned about evolution in school. Maybe we had wings that would know the difference between flying and falling.
“Olivia.” I jumped at the voice behind me. “Come in here and fix your hair,” my dad boomed. “I’ll take you out for a milkshake but not until you brush those tangles out.”
For no reason at all, I turned and looked over my shoulder to find the man filling the doorway, his hands fixed against the jamb and his head slightly cocked as he watched me. David. He appeared roguishly sexy in dark jeans and an open black pea coat.
I nervously checked the smokers, who had stopped talking to gawk at him. He stepped out onto the concrete and stuck his hands in his pockets before gaiting over. As he neared, I turned my attention back to the skyline. My mouth dried and my heart thumped, but I wouldn’t let him know the effect he had on me. He came close enough that I caught a whiff of something familiar. It wasn’t natural, but it wasn’t cologne.
“You’re married,” he said to my back.
“Mhm.” I drew a breath. “Happily,” I added airily. I glanced back again and his face was solemn. Marveling at the believability of his act, I twisted to face him. Squaring my shoulders, I lifted my hands to the railing behind me in an attempt to appear casual. “And you’re quite the Don Juan.”
He seemed taken aback by my tone, but then an ever so slight smile touched his lips. “You look cold, take my jacket.”
“I’m fine,” I said, shaking my head definitively as he moved to take it off. Never mind that I was wearing a coat of goosebumps. He paused a moment, silent, before shrugging it back on.
“Actually, I don’t have much time for gallivanting,” he said finally.
I scoffed to myself. Yeah, right. And who says ‘gallivanting’? In an effort to show my indifference, I shrugged. “It’s not really my business.”
“I suppose it’s not, but . . .”
From my gut, I yearned for him to finish his sentence, but he looked as though he thought better of it and shook his head. “I have to run.”
My heart fell a millimeter before I stopped it. I glimpsed over his shoulder again at the women in the corner. They had resumed their conversation but Andrew’s secretary – I searched to remember her name - glanced at us warily.
“I’d like to see you again.”
My eyes whipped back to his and my jaw fell. “What?” I exclaimed. Lowering my voice to a whisper, I motioned at the others on the balcony. “There are plenty of women here – single women,” I hissed, although I had no idea. “If you’re looking for company, I’m sure they would be much obliged.” With the change of his expression, I regretted my tone.
“I didn’t mean anything romantic,” he said, “just a casual thing. You’re clearly spoken for. But believe me when I say, if that weren’t the case, we’d be having a different conversation.” His words burned into me. The intensity between us had never left, but it grew thicker in that moment. The truth was that I wanted to see him again. The thought of this being our last meeting sent a wave of dread through me, and I gripped the railing. “I should warn you Olivia, I don’t really take rejection well. I can be very persistent.”
I looked him over, inhaling that intoxicating scent. I wasn’t sure if he meant it as a threat, but his words thrilled me more than anything. “A conversation,” I repeated blankly, as though it were a new concept.
“No funny business, I promise,” he said, offering his palms.
Without warning, emotions that I’d been purposefully suppressing for years surfaced, threatening to fight back. Something was tugging at the locked door behind my ribcage. I’d never encountered an intensity like this, and my response was foreign to me.
If I could anticipate our meeting, at least I could manage it, I reasoned. Overcoming him would pose a challenge, a challenge that would earn me a gold medal in my Olympic games of self-domination. The image had me lift my chin in anticipated glory, and I quickly swallowed the rising pang of guilt like a pesky pill.
“Tomorrow night,” I relented, knowing Bill would be leaving for New York in the morning to prepare for his latest round of depositions.
His broad chest visibly puffed as his lips crooked into a smile. “Come to Jerome’s on North Halsted at nine o’clock. I look forward to it, Olivia.” I flushed at the way he drew out my name. He turned away and for the first time, I could exhale.
“Having fun, David?” The secretary was loud, but I couldn’t hear David’s mumbled response. “Care for a smoke?” she held out a pack, and I cringed. He said something else, and I could tell by the way he bowed his head that he had declined. I was glad when he left and after a few moments, I followed, making a point not to look over at the smokers.
“So if you put the money in a Roth, it will grow tax free,” Andrew was saying to Gretchen when I walked up.
“And that’s better?”
“Well, yes, in your case - ”
My heart jumbled with mixed emotions as I looked up to see David approaching. He stopped and hung behind Lucy, rubbing his jaw and peering at me as her head moved back and forth between Andrew and Gretchen.
“There’s the bride-to-be.” Ever the hostess, she straightened immediately and turned to him. He dazzled her with a large smile, one that was almost too big for his face; one I had not yet seen. “Congratulations again. And thank you both for having me,” he said.
“Anytime,” Andrew said, putting his arm around Lucy. “We’re glad you could make it. And I’m going to take you up on that offer.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Lucy said, suppressing a smile. “We’re in trouble if he falls in love with your sailboat.”
“Why don’t you come too, Lucy? I’ll take you both out.”
“Oh,” she said, covering Andrew’s hand with hers. “I suppose I could be convinced.”
“Sounds great. I’m off, then.”
“Leaving already? It’s not so late,” Gretchen commented flirtatiously. I looked away, focusing my eyes on anything but the impossible-to-ignore man in front of me.
“It isn’t, but I have somewhere to be.”
“Well that’s a shame,” she cooed, holding out her hand. “I’m Gretchen, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you,” he said, but I knew his eyes were fixed on me.