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Coming Home: Baxter Springs Book 1 by Avery Ford (13)

Chapter 12

Ben

Ben knew better than to think he’d make it through the day without Eric asking about the date with Chase. And, if he was being honest, he didn’t mind giving a few details this time.

A few select details.

There were definitely a couple of things Ben wanted to keep all to himself.

But he had already been forced to give a brief explanation after Eric saw the two of them kissing in the middle of the pasture a couple of days ago, and Eric had seemed genuinely happy for Ben to go on a date with Chase.

It would almost be cruel not to give him at least a quick rundown of the night before.

Ben just hadn’t expected to be grilled for details within five minutes of their day getting started.

“I stopped at the gas station and picked us up a couple of coffees,” Eric nodded toward the cup holder between the seats of his truck. “Yours is on the right.”

Most days, Ben would drive his own truck out to the pasture behind the house to start working, and Eric would show up a little later. The fact that Eric was waiting in the driveway when Ben walked out the front door this morning should have been his first clue that something was up.

The surprise cup of coffee made it official.

“Thanks,” Ben said, sipping the still-too-hot drink as Eric drove through the pasture to where they’d been working the day before. “What’s the occasion?”

Ben knew good and well what the occasion was. His brother wanted the gossip, plain and simple. But Ben wasn’t going to just offer it up on a silver platter. If Eric wanted the details of Ben’s date, he was going to have to ask about it himself.

“What do you mean?” Eric asked, feigning innocence. “A guy can’t go out and buy his brother a cup of shitty gas station coffee just because? There has to be an occasion?”

“No, there doesn’t have to be,” Ben conceded. “But there is an occasion, isn’t there? You don’t just show up with coffee first thing in the morning. And you definitely don’t show up waiting for me before I’ve even started working. That stuff just doesn’t happen in real life. So… I’ll ask again. What’s the occasion, bro? Something you want to know?”

Eric shot him a sideways glance as they pulled up in front of the old pole barn. Ben knew that it was killing him to have to ask about the date, but not knowing was killing him even more. There just weren’t too many exciting things happening in either of their lives lately, so for one of them to go on a date out of the blue was sort of a big deal.

For that date to be Ben and his old high school buddy Chase… well, that made it sort of a huge deal. It would be the talk of their small town if word got out.

“Fine,” Eric said. “I’ll ask. You don’t have to be a dick about it.” He huffed out a short breath and turned to Ben as he cut off the engine. “How was your date with Chase? Or did you just stay home and make out all night like a couple of lovesick teenagers?”

Ben could feel his cheeks start to heat up at the unexpected last part of his brother’s question. Even though they hadn’t stayed at home to make out, Ben wouldn’t have necessarily been opposed to the idea. It actually sounded like a pretty hot date, if he was being honest.

But he wasn’t trying to be that honest with Eric. They might be brothers, but that didn’t mean they had to share every thought that crossed their minds.

“We went to Joplin, thank you very much,” Ben said, finally. He was pretty sure Eric noticed the long pause and the way Ben’s cheeks had to be flushing red by that point, but whatever.

“Look,” Eric said, finally. “You don’t need to tell me everything. There are probably some things I don’t wanna know. I’m just trying to make sure you had a good time, that Chase is treating you okay. That’s all, so… tell me or don’t tell me, but I’m not gonna beg for information.”

Eric opened the door and stepped out of the truck, giving Ben a pointed look before slamming the door shut again.

“Okay, Eric, wait,” Ben called, opening his door and sliding out to catch up to his brother. “I wasn’t trying to be weird about it or anything, but this is sort of new to me, too. You know I don’t just go on random dates very often.”

And even “not very often” was sort of a stretch for Ben’s lack of a love-life. Aside from a handful of quick flings and a couple of honest attempts at dating in his past, Ben hadn’t had much experience with other guys at all.

Not for lack of wanting, but finding someone who fit into his life had never been a priority. And lately, he had a lot of other things demanding his time. Like the ranch, and his brother, and just… trying to get through the day.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m asking,” Eric rolled his eyes, as if it all should have been perfectly obvious. “Is it so bad that I might worry about my little brother from time to time?”

“No,” Ben smiled and shook his head. “Not bad at all. And I appreciate it, seriously. But the date was nice. We had a nice time, and if I’m honest it felt… I don’t know how to describe it. It felt just like it was something we should have been doing all along.”

“Really?” Eric looked at him with a surprised expression. “I mean, I figured you’d have a good time, but I didn’t know it was going to be deep like that.”

Ben started to laugh, but it really was kind of deep. He had certainly never felt that way about another guy before—or anyone else at all, for that matter. He still didn’t even know what to think about it, really.

Except for the fact that he had to remember not to get too attached. No matter how perfect it might seem, it would all still end in a few days when Chase moved to New York.

“Well, it’s not really that deep,” Ben lied, hoping that if he said it out loud it might be easier to believe. “And anyway, we’re just having fun. He’s leaving in a few days, remember?”

“Sure, but it’s nice that you’re at least getting a chance to hang out a little before then.” Eric shrugged. “I sometimes wish we were more like Chase. Or Jake, for that matter.”

Ben cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“Just able to pick up and move across the country and not have to worry about anything.” Eric got a faraway look in his eyes as he spoke. “Don’t you sometimes get a little jealous that our friends are out there having fun and living life to the fullest while we’re stuck here in Kansas, shoveling shit?”

Ben blinked and wrinkled his nose at his brother’s blunt assessment of their lives. It really wasn’t something he had put much thought into—at least, not before Chase had come back to town. And even if, in his private thoughts and dreams, Ben did let his mind wander to what life might be like somewhere else, it’s not like that was an actual possibility.

His whole life was in Baxter Springs, on the ranch that had been in his family for generations. Just like Eric’s life was tied to the same land. After their parents died, they both agreed to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of the land together. Ben was actually a little shocked to hear that his brother thought they might be better off doing something else.

Especially if that meant moving somewhere else.

“I’d like to think we do a little more here than just shovel shit,” Ben said, finally. “But… I guess I get your point.” He paused, trying to make sure that whatever he said next wasn’t irrational or knee-jerk. His brother was being honest, and Ben at least owed him a frank conversation in return. “And yeah, sometimes this life isn’t very much fun, and it certainly isn’t very exciting. It’s all I know, though. It’s all I’ve ever known.”

“Yeah,” Eric mumbled, looking down and swiping at a rock with his shoe before turning his attention back to Ben. “I feel the same way, most days. But I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that was still curious about what that other kind of life might be like.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being curious about stuff like that,” Ben said. “And if you ever felt like you needed to do something different, I’d respect that. I wouldn’t hold it against you.” With a sigh, he nodded in the direction of the barn. “But I’m afraid you’re still stuck shoveling shit with me for today.”

Eric laughed. “Sometimes I think it might actually kill you to stop being practical for more than five minutes at a time.”

Ben smiled but had to look away. Even though he knew his brother was just joking, his words—coupled with everything they’d already been discussing—hit Ben like a punch to the gut.

Was he really so caught up in being practical—whatever that was supposed to mean—that he had stopped himself from living life to the fullest? Worse, had he held Eric back from following his own dreams?

All his life, Ben had known that the ranch was where he belonged. It was his place in the world.

His calling. His job.

But for the first time in his life, he was really starting to wonder if there was something more. Were he and Eric missing out on something better, just for the sake of being practical?

It was an unsettling thought, especially to be hit with all at once.

Even more unsettling was the thought that it might be true.

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