Ben groaned and turned to bury his face in his pillow.

Why was his alarm going off so early? Why had he set his alarm for a Saturday in the first place?

The last couple of days had been like stumbling through a weird dream, a dream where Chase had come back and the previous eight years had just sort of melted away.

So, it was definitely possible that Ben had confused his days and set his alarm to wake him up at seven o’clock on a Saturday morning. But that didn’t mean he was going to get up and actually start working.

Not until at least nine on a Saturday.

Especially not on this Saturday.

His alarm was still going off, though, and that was a problem.

Still doing his best not to open his eyes, Ben slung a hand out from under the covers and groped around on the end table next to his bed until he found his phone and instinctively swiped his thumb across the screen to turn off the alarm before setting it back down.

A few quiet, peaceful seconds passed—not quite long enough to fall back asleep, but just long enough to make him question the fact that he might have just heard a voice.

Not just a voice, either.

Chase’s voice.

But since that was literally the only thing Ben had been dreaming of since… well, since forever, if he was being honest, but particularly in the last couple of days… he gave his sleep-deprived brain a pass this time.

“Ben? Are you there?”

Except… he definitely wasn’t dreaming that time.

Ben’s eyes snapped open and his brow furrowed as he reached out for his phone again. Had he called Chase? But… how?

“Ben? Hello?”

“Oh my God,” Ben fumbled with the phone as he brought it to his ear. “Chase? I’m sorry, I, um… did I call you?”

Chase laughed. “Is it too early? I figured you’d be awake feeding pigs by now or something… but no. I called you. That’s why your phone rang…”

Ben rubbed his eyes and tried to clear the fog from his brain. Why did it feel like he was still dreaming?

Oh, right.

Because the man of his dreams was still talking to him.

At least things were starting to make a little more sense as Ben made himself wake up. And at least now he knew he hadn’t actually set his alarm for a Saturday morning. His phone had just been ringing.

Right. Not going crazy.

“Yeah, of course,” Ben said, clearing his throat and making himself sit up in bed so he didn’t accidentally say anything stupid. Anything else. “So… how’s it going?”

Ben cringed as soon as the words left his mouth.

How’s it going? Really?

Was that too nonchalant? Did he sound too awake now? Could he just hang up the phone and start over?

“Going pretty well,” Chase answered. From his tone, Ben could still clearly picture the smile on his face. He was definitely getting a kick out of Ben’s sluggish morning brain. “It’ll be going even better if you’ll let me take you out for breakfast.”

Ben’s heart leapt into his throat and then immediately sank again. “I really wish I could,” he said. “But I’ve got a lot to do around here today. I haven’t even made it out of bed yet, and I still have to go out and feed the animals…” He exhaled, almost feeling the wave of disappointment from the other end of the line. “Maybe a late lunch?”

“Oh, man.” Chase sighed. “I already promised my mom and my aunt that I’d meet them in Joplin for lunch. That’s why I’m calling so early. But I understand that you’ve got a lot going on. I should have given you more notice.”

“Dinner, maybe?” Ben tried to sound upbeat, but was afraid it came off a little too hopeful.

He was starting to feel like seeing Chase again before he left just might not be in the cards. Which was… well, it wasn’t fine. But he’d gone so many years without seeing Chase already that Ben was pretty good at making peace with that reality.

“Dinner is already spoken for, too,” Chase replied, sounding as deflated as Ben was starting to feel. “Are you… maybe doing anything after that? We could meet up for coffee. But it would probably be around eight or nine before I could get away from my family.”

“I think that’ll be perfect, actually,” Ben said, perking up after nearly deciding that the universe must be conspiring against him. “That’ll give me time to do everything I have to around here, and then shower and whatnot. Do you wanna just text me after dinner and we can meet down at the diner on Main Street?”

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Chase said. “Now, go back to sleep and I’ll plan on seeing you later tonight.”

Ben was smiling when he hung up the phone, and was still smiling for a few minutes after as he tried to get comfortable enough to fall back asleep.

Yeah… no. That wasn’t gonna happen.

Not when he had to figure out what he was going to wear and what they might talk about and…

Oh my God, please don’t let it be awkward.

Even if it was, though, Ben would find a way to get over it. Just knowing he was going to have a chance to sit down and spend a little time with Chase made up for a lot.

It even made up for the fact that he was definitely going to miss out on an extra two hours of sleep on this Saturday morning.

That was okay, though, because he was still smiling.

Ben checked his watch.

The sun was setting fast—a little too fast, really. He was still out in the pasture with Eric, still working, and still probably a couple of hours away from being able to call it a day.

“What’s wrong with you?” Eric asked, giving him an annoyed look as he tossed a bale of hay from the back of his pickup. “This might go a little faster if you’d stop looking at the time every five seconds.”

“I’ve only looked at it a couple… a few times,” Ben shot back, fighting the urge to check it again right that second.

He just didn’t want to risk being late for coffee or whatever Chase had planned. And sure, it wasn’t like there was some sort of definite time they were supposed to meet later, Ben wanted to make sure they had as much time as possible to visit and catch up.

A lot had happened in eight years, and it might take a while to get through it all.

“Well, what’s the deal?” Eric continued. “You running late for something? Hot date?”

“No,” Ben huffed, instantly feeling his cheeks go red. “It’s definitely not that.”

Eric cocked his head to the side, then his eyes went wide. “Oh… oh… it’s Chase Carpenter, isn’t it?”

Ben didn’t answer. He walked past his brother to grab another bale of hay. After their last conversation about Chase, Eric had mercifully let go of the topic. Now, though, Ben could see the curiosity burning in his eyes.

He wasn’t letting go this time. Not until Ben gave him the information he was looking for, at least.

“It’s not really any of your business,” Ben muttered, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. That ship had sailed as soon as Ben let it slip that he used to have feelings for Chase.

There was no way Eric had forgotten about that in the past twenty-four hours.

“So that’s a yes, then?” Eric leaned against the side of the truck, finally cracking a smile. “Are you nervous?”

Ben shook his head. “Why would I be nervous? It’s just coffee.” He paused, then added, “Coffee with the guy who used to be—who I haven’t seen in a really long time. But there’s nothing to be nervous about. Just old friends catching up on lost time.”

“Mhm,” Eric said, still eyeing Ben with an expression that was a mixture of curious amusement. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

Eric’s question was a little too close to the truth. Why was Ben even trying to deny it, anyway? The feelings were still going to be there, whether Ben said the words out loud or not. He might as well at least make his brother’s day by letting him think he’d done some sort of great detective work.

“Fine,” Ben sighed. “You win, okay? But just because I’d dumb enough to hold onto… whatever feelings I might be holding onto… after all these years doesn’t really mean anything. And, more importantly, it doesn’t change anything.”

Eric’s expression softened once Ben admitted his feelings. “I just wanna say, for the record, that you’re a shitty liar.”

“What am I lying about? Chase is still leaving in a couple of weeks, and I’m… not leaving. No matter what is or isn’t said over coffee tonight won’t change that. Things will go right back to the way they’ve been for the past eight years. That’s not lying, it’s just being honest with myself—the opposite of lying, thank you very much.”

Ben was doing his best to keep his tone level, but Eric was really starting to push his buttons. Wasn’t it enough that he had extracted the information he wanted? Wasn’t it enough that Ben was opening up and saying things he’d never said out loud before?

“I’m just glad you’re not trying to hide your feelings from me anymore. You know I can read you like a book.” Eric grinned as he finally stepped away from the truck and started working again. “Now, I’m not saying you need to tell Chase all of that—even though I think you might as well, since he’s leaving anyway. Good time to clear the air, right?”

“Yeah, well, that’s kind of a lot to bring up over coffee, don’t you think? Please pass the sugar and by the way I’ve had this stupid childhood crush since high school? Good luck in New York?” Ben rolled his eyes. “I just don’t know how he’d respond to that, bro.”

“Maybe better than you think,” Eric shrugged, apparently determined to ignore every ounce of sarcasm Ben could dish up. “Maybe he’d ask you to go with him. Did you ever think about that?”

Ben blinked. “No,” he said, truthfully. “I can honestly say I haven’t ever thought about that.”

“So?”

“So… what?” Ben’s eyebrows furrowed. “First of all, he wouldn’t ask. And second… I wouldn’t go. I couldn’t. The ranch is here. You’re here. Everything I’ve ever known is… here.”

“Yeah, but if you didn’t have to worry about any of those things—if you take me and the ranch and all of that other stuff out of the equation—what would you say then?”

Ben couldn’t even comprehend a world where those things weren’t the driving forces in his life. That world just didn’t exist. What good would it do to pretend otherwise, even for some dumb hypothetical question?

“That stuff is always going to be part of the equation, Eric.” Ben forced a tight smile. “Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but this is my life. I’m not looking to turn everything I know upside down. Not tonight. Not anytime soon.”

“Okay, okay,” Eric put his hands up. “I get it. I’ll leave you alone about it.”

“Great. Finally. Thank you.”

“I’ll just end it by saying I hope you have a nice time tonight…” Eric gave a big, mischievous smile.

“Thank you.” Ben said, wary of whatever had to be coming next.

“… With your boyfriend.”

“Oh my God,” Ben could feel his cheeks heat up as he shot his brother A Look. “You’re an idiot.”

Eric burst out laughing. “It must run in the family, little brother. But seriously, I’ll finish up here. You go do whatever you need to do so you can quit looking at your watch. And for real, have a good time.”

For a moment, Ben thought about arguing, but then he thought better of it. Eric was doing him a favor, and if he was being honest, he needed the extra time. Not only to get ready, but to get his mind right for the meeting with Chase.

“Thanks, bro,” Ben said, walking over to clap Eric on the back in a half-hug. “You might still be an idiot, but you’re also a pretty good brother.”

“I try.” Eric nodded toward the house across the pasture. “Now go. Have fun on your date.”

“Not a date…” Ben reminded, walking over to where his own truck was parked. “Thanks again.”

Eric waved, and Ben couldn’t help but smile as he got in the truck and pulled away. As annoying as his older brother could be, he was seldom wrong. Especially when it came to knowing what Ben was going through.

It seemed to be his superpower.

This time, though, it didn’t matter. Right or wrong, Ben wasn’t going to walk into that diner and spill his guts to Chase.

He’d have a nice time, reminisce over coffee, and then wish his friend the best of luck with his new, far away life.

That was all Ben could do.

There was no point in pretending otherwise. No matter how tempting it might be.