As November wore on with no more strange incidents, Carolyn almost forgot the crazy drama around the letters and the vandalism. She plunged into preparing her final exams, and spent hours helping the lagging students get their grades up. The semester passed in a blur of swirling autumn leaves and red pencil marks on papers. She spent Thanksgiving with her office neighbor Amanda and her family. She occasionally spotted Aiden with various girls around campus, which was normal behavior for a freshman. He would wave at her but show no signs of wanting to talk to her.

Perhaps he was afraid of another secondhand smoke incident.

The FBI called and told her that they'd gotten word that Joseph Brown had returned to the Light Keepers. They refused to comment on whether something unusual was going on at the compound, but they asked her to keep her eyes and ears open in case anything else happened.

Wonderful. That definitely made her feel safer.

Carolyn located a nearby firing range and put in some hours at target practice. She didn't own a gun, but refreshing her skills made her feel more prepared. It also turned out that the athletic department had a great martial arts teacher, a former refugee from Cambodia. She hired him to spar with her a few times a week. No harm in keeping all her self-defense skills on point.

When she walked Dragon, she got in the habit of keeping him close to her side. Even though he was huge, she'd realized that he wasn't the best at defending himself. He was too lumbering and affectionate. Keeping him safe was her job, so the poor dog never got to wander by himself anymore.

"It's okay," she kept telling him. "Your real owner will be back by Christmas. Your lockdown will be over."

It was such a sad thought, she could hardly face it. Dragon had become such a big part of her life.

"If I could keep you, I would," she liked to tell him, whether he understood her or not. "You're better than most boyfriends, if I don't count your unfortunate liking for tennis balls and fear of vacuum cleaners. Not that I've had a lot of boyfriends. Just enough to know better."

Since meeting Tobias, her romantic history seemed like something from another lifetime. Her previous boyfriends paled compared to him—and she and Tobias hadn't even kissed. Didn't say much for her exes, quite honestly.

Each of the men she'd been involved with since leaving the Light Keepers—a math tutor, the owner of a dry cleaning business, and a wine salesman—had one thing in common. They were completely unthreatening and let Carolyn call all the shots.

At the compound, no one had talked about sex. Starting around the age of twelve, she'd been consumed with curiosity, but also ashamed of her interest. With Chip, Brad and Keith, she'd taken each step toward intimacy with extreme caution, like venturing onto a pond with thin ice.

With Tobias, she kept telling herself to be cautious, but it didn't work. When texting with Tobias was more interesting than actually dating Chip, Brad or Keith, she was in big trouble.

As November faded into December, and the air grew crisper, her favorite nights were those she spent snuggled on her couch talking to Tobias on the phone. Oddly enough, they were able to talk even more intimately that way than in person.

Tobias told her about the morning he'd found his father dead, and how he and Will had gone back to the scene in order to relive it. After Merry had told her about the murder, and her article, Carolyn had looked it up online. She'd read all the heart-wrenching details, but hearing Tobias talk about it was different. It revealed a different side of him. A vulnerable, aching side.

And now Will was chasing down the lead about Robert Knight's medals.

"One of his medals came from an incident in Vietnam right before he left the Army. He never talked about it. Will thinks there might be a connection, so he's working on locating the other soldiers who were there."

"I hope he finds something. Is it hard not knowing who was responsible?"

"The strange thing is, I haven't thought about it like that. I thought more about all the things I could have done to prevent it."

His deep voice did something to her on a primal level, even when they were talking about such serious matters.

"You carry the weight of the world, is that it?"

"No. Do I?"

"It's hard to slash someone's throat. Whoever did it was strong and determined, and stealthy. How were you supposed to singlehandedly stop him? You were what, twenty or so?"

"Twenty, yes. But I was strong too. I was building rock walls for a landscaper. I could have done some damage. If I had the skills then that I have now…" He trailed off.

"Is that why you joined the Army? So you could keep something like that from ever happening again? Or maybe go back in time and fix it?"

He gave a low, slightly pained laugh. "You go right for the jugular, don't you?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I'm sure you had many reasons for joining up and I respect you for all of them. I didn't mean to cast any doubt on your motivation. It's just…"

She paused to adjust her Bluetooth. With all the time she spent on the phone with Tobias, she sometimes did things like yoga while she chatted. Right now she was stretched in a downward dog position on her yoga mat.

"Go ahead. Speak your mind. This is new for me, you know. I don't talk about this stuff to anyone. My brothers haven't either, until just recently. Really. I want to hear what you think, because so far, you've never let me down. You go right to the heart of things."

"Is that a good thing?" She stretched forward to grasp her toes.

"It is in my book."

"Okay, what I wanted to say was that the hardest thing for me when I left the Light Keepers was accepting that I could never go back. So many times, after I left, I fantasized about going home and being welcomed by my father and stepmother, except everything was different and better. They loved me as I was. They embraced me instead of scorning me. That sort of thing. I'd start to weaken, and think I should go home. Maybe I could change my parents. Maybe they'd listen to me. It was such a dangerous fantasy because I wanted it so badly. One time I gave in and called the compound. I pretended I was calling from the feed store and asked to speak to Levi Moore. When he came on the line and realized it was me, he told me liars were the devil and I should never call again."

Her heart was pounding all over again at the memory. She eased herself into a forward fold.

"That's…pretty brutal," Tobias said softly.

"Yeah. It was. It took me a while to recover from that phone call. I learned to be very real with myself and not give in to the fantasy that I could get my family back."

The downside of talking on the phone was that she couldn't see Tobias’s reaction. Was he with her? Or did he think she'd veered off onto a tangent?

"You think I'm living in a fantasy?"

"I suppose, in a way. You're living in the fantasy that you could have stopped it. That you were responsible."

"A guilt fantasy? What kind of crap fantasy is that?"

She snorted softly. Tobias had a blunt way of putting things that she appreciated. "Good question."

When more silence followed, she twisted her face in regret. Back to her old tricks, finding ways to drive away this attractive, fascinating man. Her light conversational skills needed some serious work.

"On another topic, what do you think of the new Kardashian app? Seen any good movies lately?" she asked lightly.

"Hey, don't confuse me. I'm busy trying to translate everything you just said into man-language."

"Man-language?"

"Yes, that's my native tongue. I might need some remedial lessons in all this other shit. Maybe I can get Aiden to translate. I think the younger generation might have a leg up when it comes to the emotional stuff."

She laughed as relief spread through her that he wasn't fleeing for the exit. "You underestimate yourself. And possibly your entire gender. There's no reason why men can't talk about their history and their motivations and so forth."

"Why talk when you can punch something?"

"Well, because not everything can be punched."

"You mean like the fact that my last word to him was an insult."

She moved into her favorite yoga pose, resting on her back at the end. "Maybe it was just a random mention of a body part, ever think about that?"

"Now that's pure genius. How am I supposed to keep up with you?"

"You're not. You're supposed to bow down before the golden goddess."

"Ooh, you went there, didn't you?"

She grinned widely as she pulled a throw over her. "First rule of guerrilla combat, use whatever weapons you can put your hands on."

"I have some weapons you can put your hands on." His teasing voice rumbled through her, setting off vibrations in places she didn't usually think about during yoga.

"Sorry, I gave up guns when I left the compound."

"Guns are the least of it. I'm most effective with the weapons I was born with."

A flush of heat burned in her cheeks. Maybe she should open a window or something. All that yoga sure made it hot in here. "Are you flirting with me, Night Stalker?"

"Oh ho. You know my regiment."

"Research." Her face got even hotter. "I like to know exactly who I'm texting with. You flew Chinooks for the 160th Airborne."

"Bingo. At this rate, you might know me better than anyone. You've actually looked under the hood of this old wreck. Don't be surprised if I blush like a baby the next time I see you."

Next time…she really liked the definitive way he put that.

"Speaking of which, I have a delicate question for you. Merry called me. She and Will are planning a Christmas Eve dinner at their house. It's also a housewarming, sort of, because she's moving in with him."

"Yes, I'm aware of all that. Ben and I are looking for our own place to give them some space. So what's the delicate part?"

"Well, she invited me. I'm driving back to Jupiter Point on Christmas Eve, because I need to stay with Dragon until his owner gets back. So I have a built-in excuse if you prefer that I say no."

"Why would I want that?" He sounded genuinely confused. She rolled her eyes. Men. They never thought about the subtleties.

"Aiden might feel awkward. I would hate to make his Christmas Eve uncomfortable. I mentioned that to Merry."

"What did she say?"

"She said that's silly, and there's no reason to avoid Aiden for the rest of my life. She said it was a harmless crush and he's young and I'm her friend and she really wants me there. Then she said I should talk to you about it before I made a final decision."

"Does she know we're…?"

"What? Talking, texting? Flirting?"

"Right. Something in that territory."

"Maybe. She's pretty perceptive. She may have picked up on something." She tried so hard to sound neutral whenever Tobias’s name came up, but it was nearly impossible. Her fascination with him was so intense, it filtered into her voice despite herself.

"What would you do for Christmas Eve if you don't come to Merry's dinner?"

"Move back into my house. Unpack boxes. I don't usually do much for—" She was about to explain that Christmas, for her, was often the most miserable time of the year, the time she missed her family the most. But he interrupted.

"You should come," he said abruptly. "I'd like you to come. Please come."

Her breath caught in her throat. That was what she'd wanted him to say. But what about his brother?

"And Aiden?"

"We need to give Aiden a little credit. Sure, he had a crush. But he's nineteen years old with the world at his feet. I think he'll be fine."

"Should I mention this to him so he isn't surprised?"

"I will. It might seem odd coming from his teacher. I'm his brother, I'll find a way to casually let him know that Merry's good friend Carolyn is joining us for Christmas. Besides, he thinks you're a nicotine-stained old hag now. You don't have to worry."

"I'm not bringing cigarettes," she warned. "My fake-smoking days are over."

"So you quit. Good for you. That's all that needs to be said."

"And what if it turns out that my presence makes things awkward?"

Tobias didn't answer. She could imagine his thoughts, though. Aiden's wellbeing was the most important thing to him. How guilty would he feel if his little brother's Christmas was ruined?

"I can always make an excuse and leave," she said.

He didn't object to that.

Which made her wonder…did this thing between them, whatever it was, realistically have any chance, given how it had started?

Tobias always watched out for his brothers first. And she respected that. But where did it leave her? Or them?

Where did she want things to be with them?

If a real relationship wasn't possible because of Aiden, maybe they could go for something else. Something secret, forbidden, and hot as hell.

That worked for her.