Grace

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“Wait. We have coed dorms? And bathrooms?” I sound panicked, and that’s because I am as I turn to my mom, eyes wide as dinner plates. It’s my first day at the University of Connecticut, and I’ve just reached the third floor of Northwest, my new dorm.

A big, bro-looking guy came out of the first room on the right, and I noticed he was moving in with another guy. Strange, but maybe they were some girl’s brothers? But then I went to check out the bathroom, and there was another guy peeing in one of the stalls!

I ran out of there faster than a cat being sprayed by a water gun and came straight back to my mom, my heart jumping around like an Irish step dancer.

“Oh, it’s not that bad, sweetie,” my mom says in her usual nothing-bothers-me voice. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet a cute boy!”

My mom loves to tease me about my experience with the opposite sex…mostly because I haven’t had any. I’m a bit of an introvert. A nerd. I’ve always gotten along better with nice cup of tea and my homework than I did with a boy. I’d always end up saying something stupid, or not knowing what to say at all.

I never had a boyfriend through high school – not really. I had a short thing with a boy named Carter. We went out for a couple of months but like all high school boys, the only thing on his mind was getting between my legs, and when that didn’t happen, he broke up with me and found himself someone who was more to his liking – Amanda McManus, the blonde with the reputation.

It’s not like I don’t have my own urges. But Carter was rushing me, and if there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s people pressuring me to do something I don’t want to do. Maybe if he’d given me time things would have been different. But things didn’t go that way, and so here I am at my first day of college, a virgin.

“So, where is my room?” I say, ignoring my mom’s little quip as I drag my bag down the hall. The light blue rug is ugly and stained and the walls need a paint job. I pass a small corkboard with a large photo of a smiling blonde with disturbingly white teeth. Beneath it, in big pink letters reads: Meet your RA Hilary! She looks like an outgoing sorority girl, complete type-A personality. I can tell instantly we won’t get along.

As I pass the bathroom an odd mint smell with hints of orange fills my nostrils. Everything here is unfamiliar, and I feel myself retreating away from it all, back into myself, wishing I was still at home. Once I get to my classes I’ll be all right. Once I have a goal, something to do and something to work on. But right now I just feel lost.

“Here it is, honey,” my mom says from behind me. I realize I’ve been walking forward in a daze. I turn and see my room. 312. “And, look! Your roommate’s here!”

“Hi!” I hear a girl’s jovial voice from within, and as I step into the doorway I see a friendly-looking girl with brown hair, wearing a worn flannel shirt and jeans, sitting on a wooden chair in front of her desk. “I’m Shannon,” she says to both of us.

“Hello,” I say simply. I’m shy in front of new people.

“Nice to meet you, Shannon!” My mom smiles. “I see you’ve already moved in.”

Shannon’s already claimed the desk on the right side of the room, which is much smaller than I was anticipating. My room at home is at least twice as big. And to my dismay…bunk beds.

“Yeah. I grabbed the top bunk, if you don’t mind,” she says with a smile, getting to her feet. “Most people don’t want the top, but I wanted to try it out. I always wanted a hammock in my room but my dad wouldn’t let me. I figure somehow having the top bunk is the same? I dunno why. Maybe it’s just…being high off the ground or something that excites me!”

My heart lifts for a moment as I realize Shannon and I are totally going to get along. She’s open, honest and obviously a little bit weird. And I love that. I’m a little weird myself. I couldn’t tell you who’s hot on the radio, I don’t go to concerts, I don’t drink and I like old animated TV shows from the eighties.

“No, that’s fine,” I blurt out, smiling as we shake hands. “It will be like living in a tree fort!”

Oh, God what did I just say?

I want to slap myself in the forehead. I probably sound like an eight-year-old, but to my surprise, Shannon’s eyes light up and she looks at me enthusiastically.

“Hah! I love it! I’m going to go to the co-op today and buy some Christmas lights! Some white ones? I thought we could hang them around our beds.”

“That sounds great!” I say instantly. Maybe this isn’t going to be so bad after all. My worst fear was going to be being stuck with a roommate I couldn’t stand. I’m an only child and have always had my own space, and sharing my privacy like that with a stranger was one of my biggest trepidations about college. But meeting Shannon has put me at ease. “I think we’re going to be friends.”

“Me too!” She says and gives me a hug. Her hair smells amazing.

“Oh my God, what is your shampoo?” I ask her.

“Do you like it?” She smiles, twirling a strand of her hair with her finger. “It’s coconut and basil.”

“Really?”

“Right?” She laughs. Sounded weird, but I smelled it and just knew I had to have it.

“Well, isn’t this great?” my mom says behind me. “I’m going to let you two get to know each other and grab some of your things from the car.”

“I’ll be right there, mom!” I tell her as she heads out. I don’t want her going into ultra-mom mode where she does everything for me and ends up bringing up all my stuff by herself. She would if I let her, but I can’t do that. She does enough for me already. “Okay” I say, turning back to Shannon. “Coed bathrooms?”

Shannon raises her eyebrows and nods.

“But – how!?” I exclaim.

“Well, I have two brothers,” Shannon says with a shrug. “I’ve already decided that’s how I’m going to think about the guys on this floor. Just more brothers.”

“Ugh,” I grumble. “I’m an only child.”

“Well,” Shannon laughs. “Let’s hope there are some hotties then!”

Moving in takes forever. I have too many boxes, I realize, and getting everything situated is like some kind of cruel real life puzzle. We end up putting our desks together, facing each other on one side of the room and the bunk beds on the other side. Our closets are built-ins, one on either side of the door, and like most girls, are completely overflowing with clothes.

Even with the window open, I’m sweating. It’s not easy lugging everything you own up three flights of stairs! That’s right – no elevator. Supposedly there’s going to be a huge renovation, but not for the next two years, and I’m sure I won’t be living here then.

“Well, honey,” my mom says. “Is there anything else you need?”

“I don’t think so,” I say, suddenly feeling down. It’s time to say goodbye, and even though she’s only going back to Redding, less than an hour away, it feels like I’m never going to see her again. I feel my eyes starting to well up with moisture.

“Oh, honey,” my mom says, hugging me tight. “You’ll be fine. Shannon here will take care of you, and if you ever need to come home, you just call me and let me know. Okay?”

I look up at her and nod, wiping my eyes. “I know, mom. I’m just…I’m being silly.”

“You’ll be fine, honey,” she repeats before giving me a kiss on the forehead. “Enjoy yourself! It’s college! Have fun!”

I smile as my mom turns away and I listen to her footsteps and the door as it opens. It shuts behind her and for the first time in my life, I feel alone.

“Ugh,” I say, feeling my shirt sticking to my body. “I need a shower.”

“I know, right? I had one after I brought all my stuff up too.”

“So, like…” I mumble. “How do I do this?”

“Well, personally,” Shannon tells me. “I just wrap myself up in a towel and leave my clothes here. I don’t want them falling on the floor in there. And you brought shower sandals right?”

“Shower sandals?” I ask her.

“Yeah,” she laughs. “You don’t want to go barefoot in the showers. Who knows what’s on that floor! You can borrow mine for now.”

“Thank you,” I say, realizing just how much I have to learn. “So I just…can change in here?”

“Grace,” Shannon says with a smile. “We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other. Better to just get used to it now.”

She’s right, of course. We’re going to be living in very close quarters for the rest of the academic year, and I might as well just dive in the deep end. I pull my t-shirt off and toss it aside.

“Okay!” I blurt out, acting like I’m completely okay with this. “Here I go!”

I unclasp my bra and toss it in the closet, unbutton my jeans and kick them off. But when it comes time to take off my underwear, I just can’t do it. I know Shannon’s not staring at me like some weirdo stalker or anything, but it just feels too soon. I grab my towel and wrap it around me. I slide my feet into her shower sandals and step into the hall.

“Have fun!” Shannon laughs as I head toward the bathroom. A boy steps out of his room wearing a UCONN tank top and pretends he’s not checking me out. Boys think we don’t notice, but we do. Girls always know when someone’s giving them the eye. I step quickly past him and push the door open to the bathroom.

To my dismay, I can hear the sound of running water from the back corner where the showers are. Maybe there won’t even be room for me and I’ll have to go back to my room and get my courage up all over again. But when I round the corner past the stalls, I see one of the showers is on and the other isn’t. I reach out to push aside the curtain, but before I can, someone, inside, yanks it aside and steps out.

It’s the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen in my life – and he’s completely naked.

“Oh!” I exclaim, jumping back a step. But the guy doesn’t seem even remotely fazed. In fact, he seems to be enjoying himself. Holding his towel in one hand, his lips twist into a grin as he looks me up and down.

I can’t help it. My eyes move on their own. He’s still wet, and his skin is shining, from his bulging shoulders and biceps to his abs – abs like I’ve never seen outside of a magazine.

Guys like this don’t exist!

This must be some kind of prank. I can’t stop myself though. My eyes move down…down…and then I see it.

His cock. Completely exposed. He’s not hard, but he’s still bulging and thick, and it hangs between his strong legs like it would be ready to go at a moments notice. It’s the second penis I’ve ever seen in my life, but I know enough to know it’s enormous.

“See anything you like?” He says. I tear my eyes away, feeling my cheeks go red with embarrassment. I want to turn and run, but I’m frozen in place. My legs will simply not listen to me.

“Wh-what!?” I stammer.

“Anything you like,” he repeats. He grins, reaches across his body to scratch his shoulder. The vein in his bicep bulges as his arm flexes and I feel my heart start to race.

He’s gorgeous.

Things are also happening…downstairs as well.

“N-no!” I manage to blurt out, my heart racing. I must look like a total idiot standing here with my mouth open.

“Tommy Mason,” he says, as though that’s supposed to mean something. With his free hand, he reaches down to his leg and scratches it. My eyes follow, and I know that’s exactly what he wanted. Follow right down to his cock, which I can see is getting harder.

Literally, in front of my eyes, I can see it growing. It’s pulsing – flexing as it straightens, growing even bigger, as though that was possible. My mouth waters and I feel myself getting wet. I’m stunned, but I’m only human, and the combination of visuals in front of me would is enough to send any girl spinning.

“I just finished up,” he says. “But if you want me to join you…”

I tear my eyes away from his beautiful cock and look into his eyes. Stunning blue and clear. His blond hair, still damp, hangs slightly across his forehead. Those cheekbones…those plump lips, and I can’t help but think about how they would feel against mine.

I’m lost in his eyes. His expression. His body…like a statue carved from marble. But he takes a step toward me. He’s close enough that I can smell his soap, and I snap out of it.

“No!” I blurt out, backing up. My heart’s racing and I am ready to run. “What? What are you talking about!? Join you!?”

“Yeah, you know,” he says casually. “Shower sex is the best. No need to clean up after.”

Shower sex? Did he really just say that!?

“Shower—” I start to say, but am unable to finish. I just look at him. He still hasn’t covered up. He’s loving this. How can he be so confident? Who is this guy!?

Without finishing, I turn on my heels and stride away as fast as I can without actually running. I almost run over a girl I recognize from down the hall as I go through the door, and I’m back in my room in the blink of an eye.

“What happened to you!?” Shannon asks me as I lean back against the door, sucking deep breaths of air like I’ve just run a hundred-meter dash.

“I can’t—” stammer. “I can’t even—”

“What!?”

“There was a guy in the shower!” I almost shout.

“Well, yeah…It is a coed bathroom.”

“No!” I exclaim. “He came out of the shower. Naked!”

“Ooooh?” Shannon giggles. “Was he cute?!”

“He was fucking hot!” I blurt out before I even realize what I’ve said.

What’s wrong with me? I don’t talk like that!?

But he was. That’s a fact. A guy like that shouldn’t even exist without Photoshop, but it was like some crazy person went and designed the world’s most perfect man and then just brought him into existence.

And his penis…it was so perfect, and so huge, that it almost scared me. The way I felt when I saw it, and the way it started to grow, almost like it had a mind of its own. He saw me, liked me, and wanted me. I can’t pretend I don’t like that, but it also terrifies me.

“He said his name was Tommy Mason.”

Shannon’s expression, filled with excitement and curiosity instantly changes to one of concern.

“Oh, no,” she says. “No, no, no, no, no. Mmm-mmm, no!”

“No? No what?!”

“Tommy Mason,” she states as though I should understand. “Big no-no. Forget what you’ve seen and move on.”

Forget what I’ve seen? You might as well ask someone to forget just how amazing a hot chocolate fudge brownie topped with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream tastes! How could I possibly forget something like Tommy Mason’s naked body?

“Why?” I ask, suddenly curious. “Do you know him?”

“Are you serious?” Shannon asks. “Tommy Mason? Sophomore? Like, biggest star athlete on campus? Future professional basketball player?”

I shake my head. “I don’t really pay much attention to that stuff.”

“Yeah, well, Tommy’s fucked half of the good-looking girls on campus, and the other half are lined up ready to bend over for him,” she says. “He’s bad news. Especially for a girl like you.”

“A girl like me?” I ask, starting to feel offended. I haven’t even really met the guy, but I already feel protective of him and resent the things she’s saying about him. And what does she mean by that comment?

“I don’t mean anything by it, Grace,” she says. “But you don’t exactly seem…experienced. Do you really want your first time to be with a guy who’s just gonna fuck you once and bail?”

“I – I hadn’t even thought about it,” I lie. Of course I thought about it. Seeing his enormous member hanging there in front of him – thoughts of what he would do to me ran right through my mind like a movie on fast forward.

“Well, good,” Shannon says, turning to her class schedule on her laptop. “Because he’s bad news.”