I woke up in my bed reaching out for Ian at my side. He wasn’t there, of course. Instead, it was just me in a big, lonely, king-sized bed. I rolled over to face the opposite direction and tried to fall back asleep. It didn’t work.

Much of my daily life was the same story. I was spending time thinking about Ian, trying to actively stop thinking about Ian, or looking out my windows trying to make sure I avoided being outdoors while he was working on his plants. I noticed that he stopped working on the flowers along my front porch, and they were starting to look a little shabby.

Working at the Toolbox wasn’t easy either. The majority of our customers were single, but we had regular couples, too. I found myself leaning over the bar staring and longing for what I had only a couple of weeks back.

I watched kisses, and I could practically taste Ian on my lips. I put together a glass of Diet Coke for myself in an effort to drown the taste.

Adam, one of our regular customers, seated himself at the bar and asked, as I was staring off into space, “Boyfriend troubles?”

I smirked at him and asked, “Is it that obvious?”

He smiled and said, “When I see someone that distracted, it’s usually either a seriously sick relative or it’s boyfriend trouble. I was going to guess the former next.”

I said, “Yeah, things are a little rugged. Something will give soon, though. I’m pretty sure of that.”

In reality, I wasn’t really sure of anything. I wasn’t even sure that Ian was still my boyfriend. We were in the midst of total silence. I didn’t see him. We hadn’t exchanged any messages since I let him know that I would miss the softball game. I figured we had to speak again at some point, but that point could be months away.

Adam said, “Well, I hope for your sake it does. Relationships can really suck. I have the scars to prove that fact.”

I nodded and looked beyond Adam’s shoulder. A young couple was seated at a table against the wall. I watched as they both leaned forward and gave each other the most delicate of kisses. Then they pulled back with obvious smiles. They looked like a couple at an old-fashioned 50s soda fountain. I could practically see the hearts floating in the air between them.

“My final advice,” piped up Adam. I shifted my gaze to look at him and listen. “You should get a hobby. Figure it out. It’s best if you meet with a group about it. Then you give yourself a good chance to meet somebody new. When that finally happens, all of the tangled gut you have right now goes away. You’ll be back on cloud nine again.”

I grumbled and said, “I don’t know if I wanna be.”

He reached out a hand to my cheek and said, “Oh, you want to be. Trust me, I know.”

I pulled away from the touch on my cheek and said, “I’ve got to get back to work.” Adam was successful with one thing. He got my thoughts pulled away from Ian in an effort to prove that I wasn’t as obsessed as he thought.

As I poured another drink for a customer, I thought about the baseball team. I wondered if I really should consider checking to see if there were any bartending vacancies at Balls. It would stop me from trying to duck familiar faces at the Toolbox and help me dive right in to the new circle of baseball friends.

I daydreamed about my home run. I could see it sailing over the fence again. I saw myself rounding the bases and stomping emphatically on home plate just before the rapturous greeting from my teammates.

Claw walked in fifteen minutes before the scheduled end of my shift. He said, “You can check out a little early if you want, Blake. I managed to escape the circus at home.”

I looked into his handsome, rugged face and asked, “Circus?”

He said, “Oh yeah, the kids were acting up. One pulling me one way to play on his computer game. The other pulling me outside to help with his leaf project for school. I finally had to escape.”

I knew that Claw had a husband, but I didn’t know they had kids. I blurted out, “I didn’t know you had kids.”

He grinned. “Yeah, Brian and I adopted both of them. They are adorable when they’re little, but then they grow up. I love them to death, but sometimes I just need to get out. Brian was so sweet. He said, ‘Just head to work a little early. I’ll take care of this.’ He’ll get a little extra thank you in bed if you know what I mean.” Claw winked at me.

I stared at the ring on his finger and said, “Yeah, I think I’ll go home just a little bit early.”

I checked for Sally in the office before I left. She was there crunching numbers. Sally looked up, and I said, “Claw got here early, so I’m going to go home just a few minutes ahead of time. I’ll trade back with him soon.”

Sally asked, “So what’s up with Ian?”

“What do you mean?”

“Dumb isn’t a good color on you, Blake. You were here together all the time. Now I see each of you with regularity, but you are never together. Did you break up?”

I said, “I don’t really know.”

She turned away from her number crunching and asked, “You don’t know? How does that happen?”

I explained that we weren’t on speaking terms and I wouldn’t know for sure what was going on until we talked again. I said, “It’s just silent for now.”

She said, “I completely hate to butt in, but I think you need to give him a call if you care about the future. I’ve known Ian a long time, and he’s worth it.” She poked at my chest and said, “I think you know it, too.”

I scrunched up my face and said, “Sally, I’ve really gotta get going. I’ll let you know what happens in the long run.” I turned around and the last thing I saw was Sally shaking her head. She didn’t make any additional comments. She just sat at her desk shaking her head.