Tarun paced through her temporary quarters, trying to get up the nerve to leave the room. She couldn’t hide out in there the whole time, no matter how much she wanted to. It would totally defeat the purpose of being there. Plus, Blake said Liam—who apparently ran the grill part of B&B Bar and Grill—would be serving up dinner soon, and she was hungry.
The problem was, she was nervous about how Luke was going to react to her staying. And she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why. After all, she was still pissed off that he’d tried to order her around. If anything, he should be nervous to see her again, because she refused to back down, and she wasn’t going to stand for his shit.
Yet butterflies felt like they were taking up permanent residence in her belly—the feeling so intense that she could barely breathe through them.
It was like she was equal parts silly, nervous girl and pissed the hell off.
And it had her feeling crazy off kilter.
You like him, her tiger said, her voice smug and knowing.
What? No, I don’t.
I can hear the lie in your voice, you know. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. What’s not to like about Luke?
Um, how about the fact that he tried to order me around? How about the fact that even if I did like him, he clearly doesn’t like me? So it would make liking him pointless, IF I liked him to begin with. Which I don’t.
It’s okay if you do. It’s good, actually—
Nope. Don’t want to hear it.
Shutting her cat down, she squared her shoulders and left the bedroom, making her way back to the bar. Weirdly enough, the exchange with her animal had mostly taken care of the butterflies. She was aggravated enough in that moment to take on Luke and anyone else who came at her.
Like Georgie, who was staring at her in shock as she walked out of the hallway. Eyes narrowing, the waitress stomped over to Tarun. “You’re not allowed back there. It’s off limits for everyone except MC members.”
Raising an eyebrow, she looked the pretty waitress up and down, wondering at the confidence she’d felt wash over her the second she left her room. “Maybe it’s not to anyone else, but it is to me. After all, how else would I get to my room?”
Taking perverse pleasure in the way Georgie’s mouth dropped open, she smirked as she brushed past her and made her way to the bar, nodding at Blake as she sat down.
“Settling in okay so far, Tarun?” he asked as he wiped down the counter in front of her and handed her a menu.
“So far, so good.”
His eyes looked behind her for a second before settling on her again. “And Georgie? What was that about?”
She flicked her hand in a dismissive gesture. “It was nothing I can’t handle.”
He stared at her for a moment before his lips quirked. “I believe that. What do you want to drink?”
“Can I just get a Coke? Thanks.” Opening the menu, she pretending to study it, not really seeing the print. “So… what’s up with her and Luke?”
Handing her the glass, he watched her, his slight grin staying in place. “Any reason in particular you want to know?”
“W-what?” she asked, almost choking on the drink she’d just been taking a sip of. “No, not really. She just acted very possessive of him when I first got here and asked her where I could find him. Told me he was taken so I could leave. I was just wondering if he’d mated since I saw him last.”
Expression sobering a bit, he shook his head. “No, he hasn’t. Georgie’s always had a thing for him, but he’s never reciprocated. Hasn’t stopped her from trying to keep any woman who walks in the door away from him, though.”
“Oh, that’s good,” she replied with forced casualness as she continued pretending to read the menu. He didn’t answer, and she looked up as she felt the weight of his stare, immediately catching the twinkle in his dark blue eyes.
“That’s good, huh?”
“No, I didn’t—not in that way, I just—” Cutting herself off, she took a deep breath before continuing. “I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t causing problems for anyone by being here. That’s all.”
“Yep. Sure.”
Rolling her eyes, she shut the menu with a snap. “I’ll take a cheeseburger with extra pickles and a side of onion rings.”
He nodded, a smirk playing on his lips, and left to give Liam her order. Blowing out a breath as he walked away, she shook her head ruefully at herself. Jeez, could she be more of a spaz? Or more obvious?
Wait, obvious? Obvious about what? There was nothing going on. No reason to get flustered about his questions, because she couldn’t care less about who Luke was mated to or chose to sleep with.
Even she could hear the untruth in that thought. Better to say that she shouldn’t care about any of that stuff.
You liiiiiike him, her tiger said in a sing-song voice.
Just shut up already, she muttered back.
“You getting dinner? Liam’s a good cook. You can’t go wrong with anything he serves.”
Stiffening at Luke’s voice behind her, she didn’t reply until he’d taken the stool next to hers. “Yeah, I’m getting dinner. I’m hungry.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he replied, clearly reacting to the defensiveness in her voice as he held his hands up.
“Maybe not, but let me add something else. I’m not getting dinner before hitting the road again. Because I’m not going home yet. I’m staying here, for a while. For however long it takes for my gift to stop screaming at me that something’s wrong. Best get used to it.”
“I know.” He must have caught her surprised look, because he exhaled as he thrust his fingers through his long hair, the strands falling perfectly back in place around his chin. “Blake already told me. Look, I won’t pretend I’m happy about you staying. But it’s only because I don’t want you in danger, and you being here puts you right in that position. And it’s basically because of me. I don’t like that at all.”
“What? You didn’t ask me to stay, Luke, even knowing the odds are much better for you if I’m here. You did the opposite and ordered me home. This is on me, not you.”
Before he could reply, Blake walked close, and Luke nodded toward her. “Can you order me whatever she’s having? Thanks.”
She raised her eyebrows at him as Blake nodded and went to place his order. “You don’t even know what I ordered.”
He shrugged. “I trust that you got something good. Besides, Liam doesn’t know how to make bad food, no matter what it is. I’m pretty sure he’d be a chef if he weren’t an Enforcer. You’d never expect the quality he serves from an MC clubhouses restaurant. Basically gourmet food served here.”
“Bold statement.”
“True statement. Back to what we were talking about, though. You might think this is on you, but it doesn’t feel like it. You said there’s a threat surrounding the Enforcers. That’s one count where it’s on me. Then you said I’m the one in the most danger. That counts for probably fifty strikes against me. Especially since you say you need to be here to basically save me. And I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you because you were trying to save me.”
“Because of Jamie?”
His eyes flicked away from hers for a moment and when he looked back at her, there were gold rings around his pupils—his lion showing himself. “Yeah. For Jameson.” His voice held a half-truth, but he continued speaking before she could call him on it. “And because I have a strong protective streak toward women. It’s my job to protect them. Not to cause them to put themselves in harms way for me.”
Again, there were more half truths in his voice. She studied him closely, but he wasn’t giving anything away. “Why do you think it’s your job? It’s not. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice concept, and I know there are a lot of men who wouldn’t give a shit. But why do you feel it so strongly?”
He was quiet, turning his glass of Coke around in circles. She hadn’t even noticed that Blake had given it to him, too focused on their conversation to notice. Luke’s expression was intent, his brow furrowed, and she got the impression that he was trying to decide whether he should tell her his true motives. But in the end, he shook his head, and she knew no amount of asking would get him to change his mind.
“I don’t really want to talk about it. I just feel like it’s my responsibility to take care of those weaker than me. Let’s leave it at that.”
Tarun’s spine instantly straightened, ire flooding through her as she shot him a look that let him know how much she disliked his words. “Those weaker than you? And what in the hell makes you think that just because we’re women, we’re weaker?”
Luke froze, the words oh shit echoing through his head. He’d been so determined to try to make nice and not offend her. He figured if she was staying, he needed to bury his anger over her continued presence and be friendly. If she wasn’t upset with him, she’d be more likely to let him stick close to her. Giving him the chance to make sure he was there to protect her as much as he could be.
But hell if he hadn’t just shoved his big foot in his mouth so hard, he was choking on it.
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
She cocked an eyebrow at him, the look in her hazel eyes challenging, the green more pronounced and taking over. He bet that was her tiger’s eye color, and the longing to see her in tiger form, those green eyes daring him just as they were now, caught him off guard.
“Oh? Then by all means, tell me exactly what you meant by that.”
Clearing his throat, he tore his eyes from hers before the foreign urges he felt consumed him. “Women are strong. Don’t get me wrong about that. But men are, by the very definition of our nature, stronger. Women are nurturers. Men are fighters. Even those of us who aren’t in the career field I’m in are more prone to fight than most of the women I’ve met over the course of my lifetime. We’re better equipped for it. That’s all I meant. Being more delicate isn’t a bad thing, Tarun. Not at all.”
“Delicate is almost as bad as weaker,” she muttered with a roll of her expressive eyes. “Have you forgotten that I’m a War Cat? My tribe is born and bred for fighting. We have the most powerful warriors in the world.”
“Maybe, but have you ever trained to be a warrior? Not so long ago, it was forbidden for the women. Arya, who’s second in the warrior lineup now, secretly trained for it. But did you? I met you early on during my time there. I observed everyone, took in the dynamics. I never saw you be anything other than a sweet girl who followed the rules. And that’s the distinction.”
Her eyes narrowed, and he knew he somehow stuck his foot in it again. “Sweet girl? Really? You sure have this uncanny ability to insult without even meaning to. No, I didn’t physically train. But I watched constantly. Jamie’s the head trainer, and he showed me some moves. I picked up a hell of a lot, just watching, and you’d do best to not underestimate me.”
He nodded, conceding the point. “You’re probably right about that. But even taking away the difference between men and women, you have to acknowledge that someone who’s watched people training simply can’t be as good as a someone who’s physically trained.”
The ire slowly drained from her eyes as she studied him, but her nod was still grudging. “I’ll give you that. But you can’t convince me that women can’t be as fierce as men when it comes to fighting. Maybe even more so.”
His lion hummed inside him. She’s worthy.
Wait, what? Worthy of what?
His animal was frustratingly silent inside of him, but he shook it off. Maybe the surprises of the day were just getting to him, because he was tempted to read more into his cat’s words than was probably there. Focusing on Tarun again, he pursed his lips while he thought.
“I just don’t want you to feel compelled to stay. I know your gift is telling you the odds of us coming out winners are better if you’re here. But Jameson also told me once you’re really big on helping people, whether they want it or not. I don’t want you getting hurt just because you feel like you need to help me. To help the Enforcers.”
Lips tightening, her hand clenched around her glass before she relaxed it. “My brother has a big mouth. Look, I won’t lie to you and say that wasn’t a small part of why I made the decision to come here. But it was only a small part of the whole. If the only thing separating your crew, separating you, from death or destruction is me, then I have to be here. Please understand that.”
Nodding slowly as he considered her, he finally blew out a breath. “Okay. But you also need to understand that I’m going to be sticking close to you while you’re here. You’ll need to resign yourself to having a shadow until you go back home.”
A smile played upon her full lips as she glanced at him flirtatiously from underneath her eyelashes. “Who says I’ll have to resign myself to anything? Maybe I want you that close. Maybe I’ll enjoy it. Did you think about that?”
Sputtering as his mouthful of Coke went down the wrong pipe, he coughed, his eyes watering. Where the hell had that minx version of Tarun come from? And fuck if her words didn’t shoot heat straight through his veins, heading directly south. He squirmed a little on his stool as it pooled in his groin, making his jeans suddenly seem unbearably tight.
Thank fuck Blake chose that moment to deliver their food. He sat the plates down in front of them, his amused glance directed at Luke, and it was clear he heard her words. Shit, that was just what he needed. More ammunition for Blake to think there was more to the situation between him and Tarun than there was.
Isn’t there, though? his lion asked.
Stop with the cryptic shit, he replied with irritation. If you have something to say, just fucking say it.
“You two enjoy your meals. Let me know if you need anything,” Blake said, shooting one more amused and speculative glance Luke’s way before moving down the bar to take a drink order.
Clearing his throat, he prayed his voice would come out normal as he handed her the ketchup bottle. “Excellent choice with the burger.”
Her smirk told him she knew he was avoiding her words, but as he looked closer, he noticed a faint pink tinge to her cheeks. Instantly feeling better, a slight smile graced his lips. It was only fitting that she feel uncomfortable after ensuring he felt that way.
The question in the back of his mind, though, was why was she uncomfortable? Because she said something uncharacteristic for her, or because her words invoked the same feelings in her that they did in him?
Dangerous question, that, and one he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to.
“I like cheeseburgers, so it seemed like the best choice,” she replied, clearly distracted as she handed him the ketchup bottle.
He reached for it absentmindedly, freezing when their fingers met and a spark of electricity traveled from her skin to his. She stilled too, and he heard her suck in a breath as her gaze rushed to meet his. So she felt it, too.
Shit. That wasn’t good. It really wasn’t, but fuck if he cared right then. He was being sucked into her gaze, watching as her pupils dilated, her tiger coming to the surface, their hands both still locked on the bottle, fingers touching.
The green in her eyes was quickly taking over the hazel, and he smiled as his lion purred. Hello there, tiger, he thought, his skin stretching tight and beginning to tingle from the touch of her skin.
Somewhere in the bar, a bottle or glass broke, and the crash jerked him out of the daze he’d fallen into. It must have broken the spell for her, too, because she turned her eyes away and yanked her hand back from the bottle. Fumbling to catch it before it fell, he looked at his plate, fighting to find his focus.
Tingle? Had he really had that thought? A body couldn’t tingle from the touch of another person. It was a ludicrous thought, and one best put behind him.
Regardless of the fact that he could swear to the fact that he had felt it.
But that didn’t mean he had to act on it, or even acknowledge it. Ignoring it seemed to be the best course of action, and he clung to that plan with all his might as he shook out some ketchup next to his onion rings.
Looking at his plate, he cleared his throat, searching for something normal to say to cut through the tension arching between him and Tarun. It seemed an impossible task, but he had to try.
“Looks like you really enjoy pickles on your burgers,” he said, eyeing the mound of pickles on his cheeseburger.
She laughed, the beautiful sound dancing along his nerve endings. “Yeah, I asked for extra. Pickles are a favorite of mine.”
Taking off the top bun, he lifted his fork and finally looked at her. “Do you want mine? I like them, but this is a little much for me.”
Her eyes lit up and warmth flowed through him at her obvious childlike excitement. And over pickles of all things. Inhaling deeply, he fought the urge to let that look get to him, but it was a losing battle. It definitely got to him. Right in the heart. Right where he didn’t want to feel a single thing for her.
“You don’t mind? I’d love them.”
Forcing a casualness he didn’t feel, he forked the pickles off of his burger and laid them on her plate. She immediately picked one up and bit into it, the look on her face saying she was enjoying every bit of the taste.
Turning his attention back to his plate took effort, but he managed it. He didn’t need to see her enjoying her food. He didn’t need to see her enjoying anything. He just needed to focus on his meal, and try to leave there the same man he’d been when he walked into the bar and sat down beside her.
He took a bite of his burger, the flavor keeping his attention for a moment. But the blessed distraction didn’t last long, because Tarun let out a low moan that immediately shot through him, caressing every nerve ending. The jeans that had finally begun feeling like they had some room in them turned even tighter than they had a few minutes ago, almost painfully so.
Don’t look at her, don’t look at her, he chanted over and over in his mind. But it was a futile struggle as his eyes turned toward her like she was a magnet and he couldn’t help himself. She was holding her cheeseburger, her plump lips glistening as she chewed with an expression of pure bliss on her face.
Holy fuck. She was gorgeous, but more than that, in that moment, she was the very epitome of sensuality. It was just such a shame that it was food putting that expression on her face and not him.
I could do even better, he thought to himself faintly. I could make her feel so much bliss that she wouldn’t even be able to breathe.
Then why don’t you? his lion answered, even though Luke hadn’t been speaking to him.
And it was his lion’s voice that snapped him out of the trance he’d fallen into. Swallowing hard, he tore his gaze away, surprised to find that he was ripping apart his burger, tearing it to shreds as his hands clenched.
“Oh my God,” Tarun mumbled before swallowing down the rest of her bite. “I think that might be the best thing I’ve ever tasted. What does Liam put in them to make them so good?”
Doing his best to keep his face and voice normal, he shrugged. “I have no idea. And don’t bother asking. He won’t share his recipes with anyone. We’ve all tried.”
“Such a shame. I could stay here forever for food this good,” she murmured.
And the hell of it was, his heart jolted in his chest at the thought of her staying forever.
It shouldn’t. It should freak him out, it should make him yell at her, shake her, convince her she didn’t belong there. It absolutely shouldn’t make him want to fall to his knees and beg her to stay. He didn’t even care in that moment if she stayed for him or the food. So long as she stayed.
The hell of it was, he didn’t know why he wanted her to stay. He didn’t know what made her any different than all the women who’d walked through B&B’s doors, and all the women he’d met before her.
He wasn’t a player—he didn’t randomly sleep with lots of women, or even very many. But he also wasn’t a saint, not by any means. And he’d never before had the urge to convince a woman to stay with him.
He didn’t know what the hell made her so damn different than other women. But he did know he needed to figure it out soon. Because he knew then, for a certainty, that his wish to walk out of there that night the same man he’d been before she showed up was long gone.
Tarun was changing him in ways he didn’t understand, in ways he wasn’t sure he was ready for. But it was happening, whether he was on board or not, and it was time to decide whether he was going to fight it or go along with it.
His mind and heart were duking it out in that moment—but, as he snuck a glance at her from the corner of his eye, he was pretty sure it was his soul that was going to decide his fate.