I flirted last night. With Luke, of all people.
Tarun touched her fingers to her lips as the thought ran through her mind on repeat, hardly able to process it. Staring out of the window in her bedroom, she looked down onto the back parking lot, where the Enforcer’s bikes were parked, along with a few trucks she knew belonged to them, as well.
It felt like she was a totally different person there than she was back home. Her brother had always allowed her more freedom than most of the women in her tribe were given, but she never took advantage of it. Even when Kian changed the rules and women were granted the right to live their lives the way they wanted, she still never fully embraced it.
Oh, she ditched her saris, the traditional Indian dress, and began wearing jeans and t-shirts. But in every other way, she was still the dutiful Indian woman her tribe expected women to be. The only reason she even moved into her own home was because Jameson found his mate and she wanted to give him and Cady space to themselves.
All those freedoms granted to her and she never took advantage of them. She’d always just thought it was who she was. Other women, like Arya, had dreamed of being able to do whatever they wanted. Longed for the time when restrictions wouldn’t stand in their way of being who they wanted to be. And they’d embraced their new futures wholeheartedly.
Tarun never felt like she was suppressed, or like her life wasn’t anything other than what she wanted it to be. She’d never felt like she was stifled, or like she wasn’t her. Probably because she’d been given so much more freedom than the other women. But regardless why, the only thing the rule changes had done for her was allow her to have a job and move into her own cottage. She was still her.
Or so she thought.
Maybe she’d been the same because even though the rules had changed, she was still in Durga. Still living essentially the same life. Still feeling bound by the rules of her society, even though those rules had shifted and changed.
Now, in a new place, with new people and different surroundings, she felt like a new person. Like she’d been a butterfly trapped in a cocoon all her life and was finally, slowly, inch by inch, emerging from her trappings.
She was different. It felt like she was becoming the Tarun she’d always been inside but had never been able to truly find.
And she liked it.
She just wasn’t sure she liked that Luke was the one who was helping to pull her out of her cocoon.
He was arrogant and a tad condescending. He refused her help, and ordered her to go home like he had the right to tell her what to do. He acted far too much like the jackass warriors in her tribe who thought it was their God given right to micromanage a woman’s life—the ones who thought that women couldn’t think for themselves.
No. He’s not like the warriors at all, her tiger protested.
He thinks he can tell me what to do.
He didn’t do it because he gets off on it. He did it because he’s trying to protect you.
I can take care of myself, so his reasons are moot.
Then show him you can. And maybe he’ll come to realize that on his own.
Exhaling, she leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window. She couldn’t argue with what her animal said. And she couldn’t fault Luke’s reasons. She didn’t like that he was trying to tell her what to do, but he was doing it because he was concerned for her.
That alone was the distinction between him and the warriors. They didn’t order women around out of any concern for them—they did it because they could. Because it made them feel powerful. Because they’d been raised to believe it was their right.
So maybe… well, maybe that meant she could relax a little more around Luke. That maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that she was trying to grow her flirting skills with him. It didn’t have to mean anything more than her practicing on him.
She snorted to herself. Right. And the sky was green.
Movement caught her eye and she straightened, watching with interest as Luke walked into the parking lot, his powerful stride taking him in the directions of the bikes lined up side by side. He was wearing black boots on his feet, his long legs encased in jeans, and he had on a leather jacket with some sort of skull emblem on the back.
It dawned on her that he was going for a ride, and she perked up. She’d always wanted to ride on a motorcycle, and there he was, presenting her with a golden opportunity. Turning around, she shoved her feet into the boots she’d brought along, and then rushed out of her room and down the stairs, hoping he hadn’t left yet.
The chance to get out and live, to experience more of life than could be found in her tiny village, was right in front of her and she didn’t want to waste it. She’d been nervous when she left Durga. But it was like, once she was away from the War Cats and tasted a little bit of what the world had to offer, she’d become insatiable. She wanted to experience it all. Her soul thirsted for it.
Rushing out of the back door, she let out a relieved breath as she caught sight of Luke standing by a motorcycle. Hurrying forward, the gravel crunching under her feet, she quickly made her way over to him.
“Hey,” she called out when she was halfway to him. “What are you doing?”
Turning to glance at her with a look she wasn’t sure she could define, he cocked an eyebrow at her, watching as she closed the distance between them. “I’m going for a ride.”
“What happened to sticking close to me while I was here? You can’t do that if you go riding off without me.”
“I think you’re safe with the other Enforcers in the clubhouse—wait, without you? You want to go?”
She scuffed the toe of her boot through the gravel with a shrug. “Yeah, why not? I’ve always wanted to go for a ride on a bike.”
Expression inscrutable, he studied her closely before shaking his head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Motorcycles aren’t the safest way to travel. Besides, your brother would kill me.”
Her eyes widened with disbelief. “Okay, two things. First, you know Jameson has always given me the freedom to make my own choices and do what I want. This is what I want. Second, is the big, bad biker dude actually telling me that motorcycles aren’t safe to ride? Really, Luke?”
The corner of his mouth quirked up, and she had to fight the urge to stare at his lips. His bottom was fuller than the top, and she had the sudden desire to nibble on it before rubbing the sting away with her tongue.
Holy crap. Where had that thought come from? She’d never felt the desire to do something like that before. Ever.
He shrugged, and she forced her attention back to the conversation, making sure to lock her eyes with his and keep her gaze away from his lips. No more looking at them again. Not if she wanted to actually hold a conversation with him and not act like a simpleton.
“It was worth a shot. Are you sure you want to go for a ride? It’s a lot different than riding in a car.”
She rolled her eyes. “Duh. I figured that out for myself. And yes, I want to go.”
Hesitating, he studied her for a little longer before finally nodding his head. “Okay. I’ll go get you a helmet. I don’t usually have passengers, so I don’t carry one. Be right back.”
Yes! He’d agreed. She hadn’t thought he would so easily. She’d thought for sure that it would take a lot more arguing than it had, but she wasn’t complaining. He walked quickly back toward the clubhouse and she turned her gaze to his bike, trying to keep from jumping with excitement. She felt like a kid getting exactly what she wanted for Christmas, but she didn’t have to let it show.
Moving closer, she studied his bike as she walked around it. It was a shiny maroon color, with a small skull emblem on the side. The same one that was on his jacket, she realized. Leaning down, her lips quirked up when she saw the grizzly wearing a helmet in the middle of the emblem. In an arch around the bear, it read Blood & Bone Enforcers.
“Our logo,” Luke said from behind her.
Jumping, she slapped a hand to her racing heart. “I didn’t hear you walking up. Why the grizzly?”
“Blake’s a grizzly, and he’s the leader. When we designed it, we thought it was fitting to put his animal in there.”
He held out a leather jacket and she hesitated before taking it. “What’s this for?”
“Just in case. Leather is the best defense against road rash if we were to crash. That’s one of Damara’s, so it should fit better than one of mine.”
Raising an eyebrow, she ran her fingers over the logo on the back before pulling it on. “And do you crash often? If you do, you might be in the wrong profession.”
He chuckled, sending warmth crashing over her. “Never have before, but there’s a first time for everything. Still sure about this? You know, people think being in an MC makes us bad boys. You up for riding with a bad boy? Some would say you’re throwing your life away the second you hop on a bike.”
His smile was full, eyes twinkling as he joked with her. Hesitating for a moment, she made sure her voice would come out normally before speaking. The sound of his laughter had done a number on her, which she thought was strange. It was just laughter. It shouldn’t affect her like that.
Still reeling internally, she said the first thing that popped into her head. “If you’re gonna throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle.”
Cocking an eyebrow, his look turned puzzled. “What?”
She could feel the heat rushing to her cheeks, but she tried to fight it. She couldn’t believe she said that. “It’s a Lorelai Gilmore quote.”
His look only turned more confused at her reply. “Who?”
Quickly shaking her head, she waved it off. “Never mind. We ready to do this?”
Still looking at her with puzzlement, he held up his hand, showing her the helmet. “This first.”
Eager to turn his attention away from her idiocy, she took the helmet from him and examined it before easing it over her head. She couldn’t believe she quoted Gilmore Girls to him. It was her favorite show, but thinking for a second that an Enforcer in a motorcycle club would know what she was talking about was ridiculous.
Who was she kidding? She hadn’t been thinking at all. She’d been flustered and blurted out the first thing that popped into her head. Next time she felt off balance, she was keeping her mouth firmly shut.
“Here, let me help with the straps,” Luke said, reaching out to grasp them.
He began fastening them and she sucked in a breath at the first touch of his skin against hers. So last night hadn’t been a fluke. The same sparks she felt then were arching between them, stealing her breath and every single thought in her head. She’d never experienced anything like it, and she thought maybe it should scare her, but it didn’t.
It felt like something she could quickly become addicted to, and that was what scared her.
He tightened the strap, his fingers lingering against the underside of her chin for what felt like an unending moment before he pulled away. The ring of gold around his pupils was evident as he flashed her a smile that was clearly forced, and he looked away, putting his own helmet on.
“Let me mount the bike and get it stable, and then you can climb on.”
She nodded, watching as he threw a powerful leg around the bike, straddling it as he started the engine with a loud growl. Once he was situated, he gave her a nod, and she placed her hand on his shoulder so she could keep her balance before climbing on behind him.
Once she was on, she stared at his back for a moment before wrapping her arms around his waist, making sure her grip was good as he revved the engine. He slowly pulled around the side of the clubhouse and then turned onto the highway, accelerating slowly.
At first, all she could concentrate on was the feel of her body pressed against his. The way, even through both of their leather jackets, she could feel her breasts pressed into his back. The way nothing had ever felt like that in her life. The way the only thought running through her mind was that she could stay just like that forever and never tire of it.
And then gradually, like the sun breaking through the clouds, or like fog slowly dissipating, the awareness of what she was doing broke through. The wind was rushing past them, the hair not trapped in her helmet streaming behind her, and the powerful hum of the motorcycle’s engine vibrated under her thighs.
She felt powerful. Invincible. Like she could take on the whole world and win.
She felt free.
Throwing her head back, she laughed, reveling in the feelings coursing through her, the exhilaration rushing through her veins.
Those sensations collided with the feelings of being pressed up against Luke, and she tightened her arms reflexively around his waist.
He was right—she’d been sheltered her whole life, never really getting the chance to truly live. But right then, on the back of Luke’s bike, pressed against his body, she felt like if her life were to end in that moment, she’d go out happy, with zero regrets.
Luke downshifted as he pulled up to the overlook he’d decided to take Tarun to. There was nothing like riding his motorcycle down a deserted highway, nothing but the open road in front of him, the wind rushing past him, and the hum of his powerful bike beneath him.
He’d always thought it was as close to heaven as he’d ever get on Earth.
That was, until he had Tarun sitting behind him, her arms wrapped tightly around him and her laughter in his ear.
That was fucking blissful, and no matter how many times he told himself it shouldn’t matter, that he shouldn’t enjoy it so much, it was no use. The feelings having her with him invoked were too strong to sweep under the rug and pretend they didn’t exist.
Didn’t mean he had to act on them, though.
Slowing to a stop, he parked the bike and turned the engine off. Tarun eased off the back and then he followed, pulling his helmet off and setting it on the seat. She fumbled with her strap, but he forced himself to wait and not jump to help her. Touching her soft, satiny skin earlier had been amazing, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to control his reaction a second time.
But it looked like his restraint was for nothing. Because the smile she turned his way after she set her helmet down damn near knocked the breath from his body, and the urge to pull her against him and kiss her senseless was almost overwhelming.
Her hazel eyes were shining with excitement and there was a pink flush to her cheeks. Her lips were parted slightly, and as he watched, her tongue darted out and wet them, leaving them glistening. His eyes immediately zeroed in and heat coursed through his veins.
Pulling his eyes away took effort, but he finally managed it, his gaze landing on her hair. Lips quirking in a smile, he reached out and brushed a strand from her face, careful not to touch her skin. The hair that had been under her helmet was crushed flat to her head, and the rest was a tangled mess around her shoulders.
It was still beautiful, though. Such a unique shade, the strands almost black, with auburn highlights shot through, shining brighter than usual in the sun. He’d swear there was no way it was a natural color, except her brother had the exact same shades in his hair.
Luke didn’t think his was beautiful, though. Strange, that. They had the same colored hair, but it was so much more attractive on Tarun than Jameson.
But then, he wasn’t attracted to her brother the way he was to her.
He heard her breath catch and realized he was still touching her hair. Letting his hand drop slowly, he tried to find his voice, but once he looked at her again, there was no finding it in that moment. Fuck, she was gorgeous. Maybe the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
He knew he shouldn’t be thinking like that, but it seemed like he was powerless to help himself.
Seeing her in an Enforcers jacket wasn’t helping, either. It made it feel like she was one of them.
Like she was his.
Tarun searched his eyes, her smile fading for a moment before coming back sassier. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve never felt power like that between my thighs before.”
Eyes widening, he choked, coughing and sputtering. That was the second time in as many days that she’d caught him so off guard and caused that reaction. He was going to have to learn to expect that kind of stuff to come out of her mouth.
Then her words truly sunk in, and all he could think was, Honey, I can show you true power between your thighs.
Shit. Who the hell was he now? Who were they? Because they’d spent time together before in Durga Valley. Granted, it hadn’t been a lot, but it was enough to know they’d never been like that.
Shaking his head, he ran a hand over his face. “Dammit, Tarun. You can’t keep saying shit like that.”
She cocked her head, eyeing him with a smile still playing on her lips. “Why not? Can’t handle a little teasing, biker dude?”
“And stop calling me that,” he muttered, shaking his head as he walked toward the edge of the cliff.
He heard the crunch of her boots on the ground as she followed behind him, but he didn’t slow until he reached the edge. He gazed out at the view, willing himself to not look her way, but when she gasped, he was helpless to resist.
She was staring out at the view, looking at the canyon, wonder stamped clearly on her features. He knew the scenery well—red painted cliffs and valleys, dotted with green or brown shrubs here and there, but mostly bare, with nothing to detract from the beauty of the craggy landscape stretching out before them.
It was one of his favorite spots in the world, and he’d always thought that nothing could be as spectacular as that view.
He’d been wrong. So very wrong.
Tarun not only rivaled it, she surpassed it, in every way.
He was so fucking screwed.
Glancing over at him, she smiled, softer that time. And in her eyes, he saw every bit of his usual reaction to that spot. She loved it as much as he did, then.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” she said quietly, the musical tones in her voice brushing over his skin in a caress he swore he felt. “The ride was amazing, but this—it’s perfection.”
“Even more so than it usually is.” The words were murmured softly, not really meant for her ears, but as her eyes widened, he knew she heard them.
“What?”
Clearing his throat, he shook his head, stepping back to take a seat on the flat rock he always sat on when he came to the overlook. “Nothing. It’s not important.”
She looked like she wanted to press him, but thankfully, she didn’t ask him what he’d meant. She just joined him on the rock, and they fell silent as they looked out over the cliff.
Being with her was comfortable, as natural as breathing. It was easy and relaxing, in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. He felt at peace and filled with contentment.
Yet at the same time, he had a level of awareness with her that he couldn’t remember feeling before. He was acutely aware of her next to him, of the heat he could feel radiating from her body to his. His body was crying out for the touch of hers, needing to feel the press of her skin against his.
It was a study in contradictions, and it left him feeling off kilter. So off balance, in fact, that he was left to wonder which way was up and which was down. He didn’t understand what the hell was going on with her, he really didn’t.
Come on, are you really that stupid? his lion asked with disgust. I always thought you were pretty smart.
He frowned. More of the cryptic shit. I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me, and it’s pissing me off that you won’t just fucking say it.
I take it back. Clearly I was the one who was an idiot for believing that you’re smart. You know what, I’m not going to tell you. Figure it out for your own damn self.
What the fuck was that about? Luke tried to connect with his cat again, but he’d completely shut down. Clearly, he was missing something huge, but fuck if he knew what it was.
“Blake told me you haven’t been yourself for a while now,” Tarun said quietly, still looking out at the view. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He frowned. “Blake talks too damned much. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Are you sure? I’m a good listener, and this is a judgment free zone. You can talk to me about anything.”
Exhaling, he stared out at the scenery, avoiding looking at her. Maybe… maybe it would help to get an outsider’s perspective. The only person who knew anything about the situation was Blake—who apparently liked to gossip like an old woman. Oh, he was sure the other Enforcers had caught on to his changed moods, and possibly even to the fact that he avoided using his gift. They were too sharp not to have caught on. They just hadn’t said anything.
As much as he didn’t want to let on that he had any kind of weakness—especially to her—he still felt an urge to spill his guts. He wasn’t sure where it came from, but it was strong. Strong enough that he wasn’t sure he could resist.
Still not looking her way, he inhaled deeply, having a hard time believing he was going to do it. “Do you know what my gift is?”
“Something about forcing shifts, right?”
“That’s part of it, yeah. The full extent is controlling them. I can control whether a person shifts or not—whether that’s from human to animal or vice versa. And, of course, forcing the shifts when needed. It’s a useful gift in battle, and the main reason I was accepted into the Enforcers to begin with.”
“I’m sure there are other reasons—”
He shook his head. “No, really. The ability to fight, in human and animal form, is needed, of course. But the main requirement is having a powerful gift. Something that adds value to our abilities, something that makes capturing the bad shifters easier. Those fuckers don’t fight fairly, and they’d sooner stick a knife in your back than allow you to get close enough to stop them physically. So our gifts are a big part of why we’re as successful at bringing them down as we are.
“My gift is all about controlling others, which makes the fact that I have a hard time with control doubly ironic. I’ve always struggled with controlling my gift. Usually, it’s because I don’t use enough power in my voice. But there have been a few times when I’ve used too much. But there were never unintended consequences until a couple of years ago. With Vynn, actually.”
“My Vynn?” she asked, her head turning as she looked at him.
He tried not to stiffen at her use of my. He knew she didn’t mean it like that—just that Vynn was a War Cat. But it still didn’t sit well with him.
Jealous fucker, he muttered in his mind. Get over it.
Clearing his throat, he nodded. “Yeah. That scar on his cheek? That’s because of me.”
Risking a glance at her out of the corner of his eye, he watched as she frowned, her hazel eyes confused. “I don’t understand. Ian from the Rocky River fighters gave him that, not you.”
“Physically, yes. Ian had just raked his claws down Vynn’s cheek when I forced them to shift. I used too much power in my voice, though, and it knocked Vynn unconscious. His tiger was out, too, and wasn’t able to heal him like he should have.”
“You sound like you feel badly for that, Luke, but you shouldn’t. Vynn’s tiger had the ability to heal him once he regained consciousness. He refused because of Vynn’s behavior, which had absolutely nothing to do with you.”
Shaking his head, he finally turned toward her, meeting her eyes. “Maybe, but that’s not the point. The point is that after twenty-eight years, I’m still not able to control my gift like I need to. And that lack of control could get someone killed. If Vynn’s injuries had been more severe, he could have died, Tarun.”
“But they weren’t and he didn’t. A lot of shifters struggle with their gifts, Luke, including me.”
“Your gift doesn’t mean the difference between life and death, either.”
She rolled her eyes, turning on the rock to face him fully. “That’s not true. If I don’t see the threat in time, or if I can’t figure out who it’s directed at or where it’s coming from, it could mean disaster for someone. Usually someone I love. Sometimes all that stands between someone and death is my gift, but I have no way of controlling it or making it show me what I need it to.”
“And that’s the difference between your gift and mine. Because I can control mine. I just struggle to do it well, and that’s unacceptable. And one day, someone could get killed because I’m not strong enough to do it right.”