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Cohen’s Birthday Wish
Greg
Some people say that waking up to your child’s smiling face is the best feeling in the world. That just that little smile can make even the surliest of bastards full of happiness. Don’t get me wrong. The day that I met Cohen, I fell in love with him. The day he called me ‘Daddy’ is still one of the best moments I’ve ever had. I know without a doubt that my son is mine and I will always love him unconditionally, as if he were my own blood.
However, today is not one of the mornings that I feel his little innocent joy brightening my day. Nope. Not when he’s decided that this morning is another perfect time to work on his cockblocking skills. My son doesn’t know it, but he is the master of keeping my dick in constant hibernation.
I was been lying here for a few minutes with my eyes closed, just enjoying the quiet, when Melissa rolled her body and curled into my side, her tiny hand finding its way to my rock hard-dick even in her sleep.
Her fingers were resting lightly against my painfully tight balls and her thumb was hooked around my shaft. Every few minutes, her thumb would twitch, hitting my pubic piercing, causing a jolt of pleasure to zap down my spine and curl around my balls.
Jesus, I could have probably come all over the place like that alone.
Right when I was ready to roll her over and wake her up with a little breakfast in bed done my way, I felt it. You know the feeling when you just know someone is looking right at you? Yeah, this would be that moment. With Cohen, I don’t even need to rely on instinct. I can tell he is there because his face is right next to mine. I can feel his breath hitting my cheek and his eyes burning into my skin.
And if it isn’t already bad enough that I’ve got a naked, completely oblivious, sound-asleep Melissa wrapped around me like a second skin—the covers are pooled around knee-level.
I’m never going to hear the end of this one.
There is no possible way to remove her hand or cover myself up without drawing his attention to my crotch. He’s already almost seen it completely with the times he’s interrupted Melissa and me, but this time, there isn’t anything stopping his little eyes from seeing my piercings.
FUCK! He already thinks he needs to be the goddamn wiener police. One day, when he’s dating or married, it’s going to be hilarious how he used to remind everyone about ‘girls not seeing wieners.’
“Daddddy . . .” his little voice loudly whispers directly into my ear. “Daddddy . . . it’s my birthday!”
Thank God. If he’s still talking about his birthday, then chances are he might have missed everything else. Doubtful, but hey, I’m hoping.
I groan and shift Melissa to her side before reaching for the sheets. It only takes a few seconds, but when I turn my head and look into his eyes, I know he saw. His brown eyes are smiling at me, his full lips pulled tight trying to keep his laughter in. Oh yeah, his whole body is literally vibrating and ready to just let me have it.
“Cohen, didn’t we talk about coming into Mommy and Daddy’s room so early in the morning?” I try to be as firm as I can while my dick is dying its slow little cockblocker-induced death.
“Yup!”
I feel the bed jolt when his booming reply echoes through the room. “Son, it’s only six in the morning. Why are you even awake?”
He looks at me with his eyes shining bright, and his smile grows.
Shit.
“I had to come warn Mommy! Your wiener was out and it looked like it was mad that Mommy was touching it. Mommy shouldn’t touch you wiener, Daddy! I know it isn’t her fault because you told me that sometimes our wieners wake up when we need them to stay asleep, but it was touching her!”
What. In. The. Hell.
“Cohen, Mommy didn’t mean to touch my wiener and my wiener isn’t mad.”
My wiener really is mad. Pissed the fuck off that he wasn’t able to slide into Melissa’s warmth. But at least he was half right. Melissa really had no idea. And since when did my dick become a wiener?! Jesus Christ, I feel like I need to go watch some manly sports on TV just to get my man card back.
“Today is my birthday party!”
And here we go with his squirrel moments.
“I know that, big man! How does four years old feel?”
“I know what I want for my birthday!” he shoots, completely ignoring my question. He starts bouncing on his heels and waving his arms above his head with all his excitement. I smile and feel Melissa shift slightly. I look over to make sure she’s still covered before returning my attention back to Cohen.
“Oh yeah? Well, I’m pretty sure that Mommy already finished getting all your presents.” I feel her hand brush my thigh under the covers, letting me know she’s awake and listening.
“Yup!” That’s it. Sometimes his train of thought confuses me beyond belief.
“Okay. So what is it you want?”
His smile gets even larger, and that flash of mischief behind his eyes is all the warning I get. “Earrings! I want earrings!” His head bobbles so rapidly it looks like it might fall off his shoulders.
“Uh . . .”
I must have been wearing my confusion because Cohen tilts his head and points to my lap. Oh hell. I know what he’s about to say before he even opens his mouth. This is going to be another one of those things I’ll never live down.
“Yup! I want earrings just like yours. Do you call them wiener-rings since they aren’t in your ears? Yup, I want wiener-rings!”
Melissa’s laughter bubbles out, and before I know it, she is laughing hysterically beside me.
“Mommy!” Cohen skips over to her side of the bed, and I use his distraction to grab my sweats off the floor and quickly pull them on. I toss Melissa her robe and walk to the bathroom, shutting the door lightly behind me.
Shit. How do I explain my piercings to a four-year-old? Oh yeah, son, these were just a result of a really drunken night, and ever since I met your mom, I thank my younger drunk self for shoving three piercings in my cock. Seems like a reasonable request, but let’s wait until you’re older and I’ll take you myself. We can bond over our dicks!
After I use the bathroom and wash up, I head back into the bedroom. I stop short when I see Cohen wrapped in Melissa’s arms, both of them smiling brightly at me. My heart is so full of the love these two made possible.
“Greg, our son seems to think I need to go to timeout?”
Oh, my wicked wife.
“Is that right?” I question.
“It would seem that someone’s wiener was a bad boy this morning and our son was doing the noble thing in warning his mommy so she wouldn’t get in trouble?” Her laughing voice mocks.
“Mommy! You touched it! That’s naughty!”
I groan and drop my head, but Melissa just laughs.
“Cohen, you don’t need to worry about that, okay? Mommy just moved in her sleep, but I didn’t see anything so I’m not in trouble, right?”
I look up at Melissa and laugh when she winks at me. Cohen seems to be taking in her words and deciding on whether or not I need to be arrested by the wiener police for a mad wiener.
“Okay!” He shoots up from his spot on the bed, bouncing slightly. “But! I still want wiener-rings!”
“Shit,” I hiss.
“Baby, you can’t have that for your birthday. Your daddy is an adult and that is why his wiener looks like that. Why don’t we forget about wiener-rings until you’re an adult, okay?”
Well, thank Christ one of us can speak with some reason.
“Okay! Then I want a puppy. And a pool. And a monkey. And a car . . . No, a truck like Daddy’s.”
I walk over and give them both a kiss before leaving the room to start the party prep.
Wiener-rings. I need to wear a damn chastity belt around this kid.
Later that day, the last kid finally leaves and our friends have settled into the kitchen to enjoy the end of a successful party. I have finally forgotten all about my early morning wake-up call. There was a close call with him telling Dee that his mommy got in trouble, but luckily she’s used to Cohen’s little quirk.
Cohen hasn’t stopped bouncing around since the last kid left. Luckily Sway scooped him up, and they have been playing with the cars Coop gave him for his birthday. For the last five minutes, all I’ve heard are whispers, vrooming, and crash sounds, so when the living room goes silent, I look up and meet Sway’s excited gaze.
“Son of a bitch,” I mumble under my breath.
“Daddy! What is a Swaygasm? Dilbert, you’re so funny!” He laughs, hugs Sway, and runs off. He’s been calling Sway by his given name since day one, and it still sounds hilarious coming out of his little mouth.
“Sway?” I press.
“Oh sweet Lord above and all things yummy! Oh, my Gregory, I knew I loved you for a reason. Those piercings always do the trick, you naughty boy!” He laughs and follows behind Cohen, probably to go eat more cake.
“You’re lucky he didn’t ask to see them again.” Melissa comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist.
I drop the bag I was collecting trash in and turn so I can hold her close. “And you’re lucky we didn’t have more questions from Cohen this morning. Damn, Beauty, I was two seconds away from dropping between your thighs and going to town. God, I need you.”
She smiles, her beautiful face full of peaceful happiness. “Tonight. I promise we can lock the door and barricade ourselves in and you can go all Beast on me.” Her hand curls around my neck and she pulls my head down to her lips, sealing the deal on her spoken promise.
I growl, grab her ass, and pull her closer into my body. Oh yes, tonight I will have my wife.