Silently, Jamie enters the kitchen and sidles into a chair at the table. His mother is busy stacking the dishwasher and she doesn’t notice him. He watches quietly, gaining some comfort from the domestic scene. Sebastian is at football practice. He’s always playing football. Give him a ball and he will entertain himself for days. Charlie is out socialising with friends. As usual, Jamie is left to his own devices but he’s not very good at entertaining himself. Even though he’s part of this goal-driven family he often feels isolated. That’s when his thoughts turn inward. Picking up a fork, he chases a few stray crumbs across the tablecloth and wonders where his dad is. He likes spending time with him.
Deanna turns around. ‘Oh, Jamie!’ she exclaims, clutching at her chest. ‘Don’t sneak in like that.’
‘I didn’t sneak in,’ the boy says.
‘Well, you made no noise whatsoever. Quiet as a church mouse.’ Deanna observes her son. He looks pale; his eyes blank. ‘What have you planned for today?’ she asks breezily.
Jamie blinks rapidly. She always asks that, and he never knows what to say because he rarely has a plan.
Deanna frowns. ‘Jamie, try to be more proactive. You can’t just mope around the house all day.’
Jamie lowers his eyes. He doesn’t feel like doing anything. He just wants to find a dark hole and hide away.
‘Have you got any homework to do?’ Deanna asks, approaching the table.
He glances up at her, his eyes round as saucers. ‘A little.’
‘Why don’t you do that now and then you’ll have the rest of the weekend free to do whatever you want,’ she suggests.
The boy slowly nods.
Deanna swallows the sigh forming in her throat. Where did this young lad spring from? He’s so different from her other children. She knows Oliver has had to face his inner demons all his life, but his dark moods are channelled into acting. Jamie doesn’t appear to have anything to distract him. Pulling out the opposite chair, Deanna sits down and holds out her hand across the table to her son. Jamie doesn’t reciprocate and, eventually, Deanna withdraws her hand. She stretches her mouth into a smile.
‘Where’s Dad?’
‘He’s away on business this weekend,’ she replies.
‘When will he be back?’
‘Tuesday.’
‘I wanted to go cycling with him today,’ Jamie says, downcast.
Deanna looks out of the window at the grey, overcast day. Rainclouds threaten. ‘I think you’d get rather wet.’
‘I like riding in the rain.’
She takes a deep breath. Perhaps this is the right time to tell him. ‘Jamie, you know Dad is taking a break from acting, don’t you?’
The boy nods.
‘He’s doing it so I can pursue my career. I have a job as stage manager for a professional theatre company in the West End,’ she says, flushing with pride at how the words make her feel.
‘Gosh!’ For as long as Jamie can remember she’s always been around.
She smiles, her eyes alight. ‘Yes, it is a bit gosh! I have to give it a lot of commitment because many people depend on me. Because of that, your dad and I have decided it’s best for me to live in London during the week.’ The little white lie trips off her tongue. Oliver didn’t exactly have any say in the matter.
Jamie frowns. ‘Every week?’
‘Yes, but I’ll be home when you wake up on Sundays, and I will take you to school as usual on Mondays.’
Silence fills the room. Eventually, Jamie asks in a small voice, ‘What will happen to us during the week?’
‘Dad will take care of you.’ Deanna smiles at her son. ‘And you can always come up and visit me in London. There’s a room for you in the apartment I’ve bought. It will be exciting.’
Jamie looks doubtfully across the table at his mother.
‘You can come and visit my theatre and we can meet up with Sammy at her house in Notting Hill. It will be a different experience, one that will open up new horizons for you.’ She blushes, recalling that these are the exact words Pins used.
‘What happens when Dad has to go away?’ Jamie asks.
Deanna stares at her son. He doesn’t seem at all excited and he’s pinpointed the only nagging doubt she’s had with her whole plan. ‘Well, you always have the option to weekly board.’
Jamie vigorously shakes his head. ‘Sebastian wants to, but I’d hate it.’
‘Does he?’ says Deanna thoughtfully.
‘Yes. He’s got a new friend who boards, Stuart. His parents live in Dubai. Seb’s always talking about joining him.’ Jamie glances anxiously at his mother. ‘But I won’t do that.’
Deanna stares across the table at her son manically squashing crumbs with the prongs of a fork.
‘OK, Jamie. It probably won’t come to that. Your dad will be around or you can stay with me in London, or with a friend.’ Deanna looks at her watch. She has a hundred and one things to do. ‘Go and do your homework and then I’ll make something nice for lunch.’ She smiles briefly before rising to her feet.
Jamie lifts his gaze. He watches his mother grab the washing basket full of dirty clothes and disappear into the utility room. Everything feels odd. It’s as if his whole life, as he knows it, is being ripped away. What will he have then? Where is Dad? What’s he doing? Even though Oliver has been absent many times during his short life, Jamie knows his dad is always there for him. He feels comfortable and secure with him. But, now, everything feels disjointed. Even his brothers are changing, and Sammy has moved to London so she’s not around much any more, and he’s always felt in his mother’s way. Whenever he tries to talk to her she never understands, and always changes the subject or gets him to do something he doesn’t want to do. He wishes he had a dog, or a cat, or a rabbit… or any type of pet, but she refuses to consider it. He can hear her voice now: ‘Animals don’t contribute anything to family life,’ but he liked it when the security guard was here with his Dobermann. Although the guard kept the dog on a very short chain and wouldn’t allow it to get close to him, it was enough for Jamie to know it was around. That was when he used to see the dark blue car with his initials on its number plate parked in the car park in the woods. He hasn’t seen it in a very long time and he wonders where it’s gone. Life never stays the same and he doesn’t like that. It’s hard to hold onto anything. Nothing is constant… apart from his dad.
Sighing deeply, Jamie places the fork on the table and lethargically gets to his feet.