Chapter 12
Strong arms wrap around me and hold me close. I lean back and snuggle against Chance’s bare chest, inhaling his familiar scent of sandalwood mixed with sex.
“Good morning, beautiful.” He hooks his leg over mine and pulls it back.
“Morning.”
“Sorry I didn’t let you get much sleep.” he says, his chest vibrating as he speaks.
My mind flashes back to the previous night.
The second Chance’s front door closes behind me, his hands are on my hips, pulling at my dress, his hungry mouth trails down my neck. My dress rides up and over my head. He tosses the black fabric to the floor and studies me in my bra and panties.
Chance reaches behind me, unhooks my bra and slides the straps down my arms. He fills each hand with a breast. His broad chest heaves as his mouth meets mine. My hands reach and grab at his shirt with the same hunger and desperation he had for me.
“Sleep is overrated. I’ll take a night like last night over sleep anytime.”
His calloused thumbs brush over and perk up my nipples. “I hope that’s an invitation for more nights together.” He nips my shoulder. Sending a wave of heat down to the top of my thighs “Many, many more.”
Chance’s lips caress my nipples, wrapping around each in turn. He nibbles and licks before sucking. His hand reaches between my legs, his fingers slide over my damp skin, working their way to my clit.
I pull his shirt over his head then rest my hands on his chest. His heart thumps hard beneath my fingers. He’s warm and hard with dips and crevasses carving out each bunch of muscles. I trace the peaks and valleys as my fingers glide down his center. Down his naval to the button of his pants.
Chance plunges his fingers inside me. Watching me with a lustful stare. Hot. Burning.
I close my eyes and revel in every sensation he’s bringing to the surface. I want him to see the pleasure on my face. I want to be worthy of his attention.
“Your pussy’s so tight. So warm and welcoming. And deliciously tight.”
His tongue works its way into my mouth again. This time, it mimics the movement of his fingers inside me. Both stroke and thrust, Slow then hard. In and out. I grip his cock. He’s long and thick and I want him inside me.
For every action I take, Chance pushes further. Harder. His fingers delve deeper, so that he’s knuckle deep inside me. Chance kisses me passionately while his thumb plays with my hardening clit and his pinky sits on my puckered hole. Knowing it’s there, that it can press inside at any moment raises my level of desire.
I look at his glorious body as I push his pants and underwear down.
“You’re very quiet.” He holds me tighter.
“I’m thinking.”
“About?”
“Last night.”
He peppers a trail of hot kisses along my shoulders. I moan in response.
“Mmm. I love the sounds you make.”
I turn around in his arms so I can face him, reach between his legs and stroke his hardness. Chance’s eyes close. I run my tongue and lips down his chest, down his abdomen, all the way down. I bring my mouth to his tip and swirl it over the top, lapping up his precum.
I hallow out my cheeks and slide my mouth down his shaft. The guttural sounds leaving Chance spur me on. I can hear that he likes it. A lot.
My hand reaches for his balls. Stumped, I stop, hesitate for a split second before I force myself back in the moment, back to the task at hand and massage. I noticed it was there last night. Rather, that it wasn’t there. It doesn’t matter. Using my other hand I pump the base of his cock while I lick and suck him.
Chance threads his fingers through my hair and tugs lightly. I drag my tongue up the thick vein running the length of his shaft and devour his head when I reach the top. I suck harder.
“Fuck, Kim!”
I pull my mouth off him for a second and look at the god I’m pleasing through my lashes. In this moment, if he weren’t laying on his back, I think I’d bring him to his knees. I enjoy the power of my mouth. In a heartbeat, he pounces on me, flips me on my back and climbs on top.
“You like teasing me, don’t you?”
I offer him a salacious smile. “Very much.”
“Oh yeah?” I see a hint of humor in his eyes, hidden behind the heat of his stare.
Taking hold of my ankles, Chance shoves my knees up as far as they can go, on either side of my chest. He stops and looks at me, eyes hooded, mouth open as he slips his cock inside me. He moves slow, inch by inch, allowing me to once again stretch and adjust to his size before he picks up force and speed.
I’m vaguely aware that he’s not wearing anything. That there is nothing, no barrier between us. Unlike last night when we went through a whole box of condoms. This is stupid, I know. It’s a risk I shouldn’t take, but something about it feels . . . right.
Besides, it’s not like I’m going to get pregnant. I’ve already started going through my changes. I haven’t had my period for two months now. Sure it’s early, but who’s going to argue with nature?
Chance keeps his eyes glued to mine. He rests his weight on his muscular forearms as he continues to drive me to new heights. Plunging inside me, we climb higher and higher. We arrive at the peak of pleasure at the same time. I see it in his face as he fights to hold back until my body goes limp beneath him.
Chance pulls out and comes on my stomach.
“Sorry. I’m out of condoms, and I swear I’m clean.”
I nod. “Me too.”
He chuckles. “I sort of had a feeling you are,” he says, rubbing his warm seed over my belly and chest.
“Besides, it’s not like I have to worry about getting pregnant.”
“Then that makes life much more interesting.” He smiles, and his eyes are full of mischief.
“Are you marking me?”
“That’s exactly what I’m doing.”
When he’s satisfied with his work, Chance holds my head against his chest, smoothing my hair while he catches his breath.
“Is there something you want to ask me?”
I shake my head. I know what he’s referring to, but I can’t ask. It’s too personal. And his body is so amazing. It obviously doesn’t interfere with performance. Do I want him to think a little imperfection bothers me? it doesn’t. Not really. Although I am curious.
“Testicular cancer,” he offers as if he can read my mind.
I move over, lie on my side and push myself up so that I’m leaning on my arm facing him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“So you didn’t notice that I only have one ball.”
Heat fills my face. I must be red as a beet. I tried to play it off. I did my best to hide any reaction when I cupped his balls. Correction, ball.
“It’s not that I noticed. It’s just kind of hard not to.”
He laughs and strokes my hair. “It’s fine. I would’ve told you, but I don’t know how to casually bring it up in conversation. Especially since it assumes a lot.”
“You don’t have to talk about it.”
“It’s okay. I want to. I’m not embarrassed. It’s a part of who I am. Everything we go through, every challenge, every triumph, shapes who we are.”
A bright light goes off above my head. “That’s how you know. How you understand me so well.”
He nods. “Yes. I know what it’s like to go through the worst time of your life. And I’m proof that it’s possible to come back from it and be happy. That was my lowest point. I was nineteen, and thought I was invincible. It sure as hell wasn’t anything I ever thought I’d have to deal with.”
I cup his cheek. “Aww, Chance. I’m so sorry you went through that. Especially while you were so young.”
He shrugs and looks away. “You don’t get to choose when these things happen. You know that.” He kisses the top of my head. “Besides, there’s no good time for your life to be scorched to the ground. You just have to play the hand you’re dealt.”
I can’t believe how rational, how well adjust he sounds. Isn’t he angry? I know I’d be. Hell I am angry. I’m angry at the prick that shot Mike. Angry at Mike for dying. Angry at the damn universe for taking away the love of my life.
Only lately, I’ve been less angry. And the pain hasn’t felt as sharp or deep. I still miss Mike like crazy, but since Chance entered the picture, I feel lighter. Brighter. I’m starting to enjoy things. To look forward to seeing him, and texting with him.
“Still, it couldn’t have been easy,” I say, trying to hide how choked up I am.
“It wasn’t. I’d just started college. I loved being away at school, and then suddenly my whole life changed. I had to take a medical leave for the semester. Things got worse after the surgery. It destroyed the relationship with my girlfriend.”
Girlfriend. It’s the first time I heard anything about someone special in his life past or present. There are so many questions I want to ask, but I don’t know if they would come across as nosy, or cold and callous.
“Serious girlfriend?”
“Yeah.” He pushes himself up to a sitting position. Holding the covers over my breasts, I sit and sidle up next to him. I can only guess this is a difficult subject and I want to lend him whatever support and comfort I can.
“Ashley.” I hear the reverence of her name in the way he says it. “She was my high school sweetheart. We’d been together for two years already. We went to college together and practically lived with each other since we were housed in the same dorm. She’d sleep in my room, or I’d go spend the night in hers. We just loved being together. Then I got the diagnosis and I wasn’t there. Everything changed.”
“You were going through all this and she broke up with you?”
“No.” He smiles, but it’s a sad smile. “She’d never do that. She didn’t want to hurt me. But she didn’t know what to say or how to act around me. Things felt forced. They never were before. She was just . . . Different. Distant. She couldn’t relate to me anymore. That was the hardest part, because even though we were young, I loved her. I thought she was the one. We often spoke about our future, and planned to move in together after graduation so we could save up to get married.”
“Married, wow. What happened?”
“She hooked up with my roommate.” His eyes drop, as he speaks. “A couple of weeks after I finished chemo, I felt good, and I wanted to surprise her. I didn’t tell her I was coming to visit. I couldn’t find her. She wasn’t in her room, so I went to say hi to the guys on my floor. No one expected me, so neither of them saw me standing only feet away. She was leaving my room and they were tangled up in each other’s arms. Kissing. I wanted to die. For a very brief time, I wished the cancer spread and was undetectable.”
Tears pool in my eyes and blur my vision. I have no reason to feel such a strong connection to Chance, but the thought of death stealing him too, it slices me to the core.
“Don’t say that. Please.”
I lean in and kiss his cheek. His warm, stubble covered, very alive cheek. My heart, heavy with emotion, drums against my chest. I’m not sure if it’s from the thought of someone hurting this godsend of a man, or fear of something awful stealing him from the world.
“Hey,” he brushes the lone tear that falls from my eye away with the pad of his thumb. “I’m fine, Kim. I’ve healed. All of me. And I moved on.”
“I’m sorry,” I sniffle. “I don’t mean to over react. It’s just I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you . . .”
“Fuck.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Sorry. I’m an ass. I never should’ve said that.”
“No. I want you to be honest. I just don’t want anything to happen to you. I mean it’s okay if you don’t want . . .”
His mouth covers mine, shutting me up. This kiss, is soft and gentle. He pulls me close as he slides down in the bed pulling me on top of him. His hand moves in small circles on my back, while his tongue twirls in unison with mine. This kiss is different than the others we shared. It’s sweet and emotional, and sends me spiraling into the stratosphere.
“Just so you know, I wouldn’t change anything that happened in my life. Because everything has lead up to what’s happening here and now. And as far as she’s concerned, it was better to know sooner rather than later that we weren’t right for each other. Before we had kids and managed to screw up their lives with a divorce, or an unhappy marriage.”
“You like where you’re at?”
“If you mean in bed with you? Abso-fucking-lutely!” He nuzzles my neck, and at the moment I like where I am too. I like it so much, I think if the world would let me, I’d be happy to stay here forever.