Marlo’s stomach clenched. A quick movie of scenarios flicked in her mind before she shut it down, because suddenly Barrett was playing the lead role. Her hand on the computer mouse made nervous twirls on the desk, and the corresponding circling arrow on the screen was mesmerizing. She blinked a few times to stay focused. He’s not going to talk about Barrett. Adam couldn’t possibly know anything about him.

“CRAR are concerned about Justice. They think his rehabilitation here has been compromised.” Adam’s words flew straight at her, his tone adding authority as if it would make them tolerable.

“Justice is fine. You know that he’s fine!” She was still jittery, and her voice pitched tight and high.

“I know, but think for a minute, hon. The group that made the video; they know he’s here. Someone may try to take him.”

She clung to the little endearment he’d used, hoping he’d crossed the line from impartiality to her side. She could validate that step for him with the right words and a quick smile. “He’s safe with me. Please, you can’t move him—it’s too early. He’s likely to regress.”

“Justice is supposed to be invisible. His status isn’t like that of a regular rescue dog. For now, he’s the property of the Federal Government. CRAR are under orders to keep him hidden, and he’s pretty much on display. You know all this, Marlo.”

Nope, he stayed with impartial. “Speak to Mae. Adam, God, they can’t take him. It will destroy him.” She stood and turned to him. Please, please, not the cop face. She couldn’t bear it.

Her anguish was all on show in her clenched jaw and tightly held fists, and it tugged at a small part deep within him. A part that had been in solitary confinement for years. He knew how to regulate and control his emotions, and he’d put so much work into this, yet one look at Marlo, and they completely unraveled. He understood he should never have let himself feel this way about her. Never should have looked any deeper into Marlo beyond the superficial layer. If he hadn’t enjoyed a glimpse of what was in there, he would still be capable of going ahead with something that was going to cause her such pain. Even if it was for her own good—for her own safety, in the end.

He had to make a final attempt at getting her to understand. “Marlo, I’m not choosing to do this…” She stepped past him and walked toward the window. Oh, God, sit down. Please, don’t start that pacing again.

She stopped at the window and rounded on him. “Listen to yourself. Do you ever do that? Do you know how often you’ve spouted weasel words today? That this isn’t your choice? At what stage do you take some responsibility for what you’re doing?”

She was backlit by a falling afternoon sun that was ducking behind the mountains. The halo it created encompassed her, and Adam thought that even in her anger he had never seen her look so beautiful. Her hands clenched and unfurled as if the very act would keep the fury pumping through her veins. He had tried to protect her, to let her down gently, but his attempts only provoked her.

“This isn’t an attack on you, or your ability with Justice and the other dogs. I’m the messenger, and I’m full of freakin’ arrows because you keep shooting me. Between Mae and me, we have gone in to bat for you on this, so I’m sorry if my so-called weasel words are pissing you off, but I’m trying to get you to understand the situation.”

“Fine. Thank you. I understand the situation.” She had broadened her voice in that fabricated way, as if making her words available to eavesdroppers. Then it lowered with her gaze. “But nobody is taking Justice.” She walked back to her desk.

He caught her as she passed, taking her into him, right into his space. One hand took both sides of her chin and tipped her head so that he watched her eyes. God, he had to pull together some control. Holding her like this was unleashing all kinds of instincts so that his protective side roared to the surface. But more than that, it made him want her compliance. He forced his jaw to relax, and his voice to soften. “I’m so worried for your safety. Do you know that?” He eased his thumb and brushed it across her cheek.

She twisted her head from his grip, then dropped her forehead against him and spoke into his chest. “I can take care of myself.”

He captured her with his arms and curbed his drive. “Right now we could have two or three groups after Justice; the anti-pit bull lobbyists; any group or person who would get a kick out of owning the only surviving dog of the Richmond Thirty-Two; the gang of dogmen who were running the fights. Unfortunately, Justice’s notoriety has made him a very valuable dog. So this is one of those problems you need to share. Do you have any idea what these dogmen are like? In this case, they’re not only interested in dog fighting. They’re criminals, gangsters. And I know how gangs work. They want Justice back, and if they come for him when you’re here alone…hell, I’m sorry, this is insanity. Do I really have to spell this out?”

His hold tightened as she tried to pull away. Her cheeks were flushed now, her eyes bright and damp. “Please, don’t worry about me. I never asked for that. I’m here for the dogs—it’s really that simple. I got on without you fine in the past. In fact, things have become pretty chaotic since you came on the scene.”

He kept his arms around her, even though right now she had the demeanor of a surly teenager. His chin nestled softly on the top of her head, trying to center her. Both of them were breathing too quickly, and he slowed his to a calculated rhythm, hoping the physical proximity trick might work and her breathing would soon be matching his tempo. Gradually, she came back to him. “Are we okay here?” he asked gently.

She pushed off his chest and took a step back. “We?”

He nodded.

“We,” she continued, “are the dogs and me. And no, we’re not okay, because you’re trying to take one of the most important ones away.”

Ouch. Blindsided.

He took a minute to look at her, taking in the whole package. Once again, he’d brought chaos into the life of a woman he cared about. With that revelation, he made a decision and hoped it wouldn’t come back and bite him in the ass. “For what it’s worth, even though I don’t have any influence in this, I’m going to recommend to CRAR that Justice remains here with you.”

“Thank you.”

He stepped past her, bagged his laptop, and pocketed his car keys. “I’ll stay out of your way, Marlo. I’ve been asked to ride along for an inspection of a suspected puppy mill up Skagit Valley way. It’s a bit out of my brief, but, if it is a mill, I’ll get an insight into a large-scale rescue.

“Be prepared for a bit of police contact until this video thing is sorted. Take care, okay?” He locked into her amber eyes and saw the confusion. He shook his head as if to convince himself. “There is no ‘we’,” he reminded her.

Your choice.

Not mine.

He walked out of the office, climbed into his car, gripped the steering wheel, and tried to roll some tension from his shoulders. Walking away from Marlo was the last thing he wanted to do. But doing things on her own was so ingrained he didn’t think she’d ever take that step of faith and trust him to help her. That same step she asked each dog to take.

He restrained the desire to unleash his frustration on the vehicle’s awful beige interior.

Marlo sank against the wall and pushed the heels of both hands against her temples, trying to force out the headache which was threatening to split her skull. Too many stabs of anxiety in the past few hours had left her feeling leaden, her mouth dry.

Don’t let him leave. The voice in her head wouldn’t stop. She poured a glass of water and started to pace, in peace.

Nobody to stop her.

Nice.

She’d backed Adam off the same way she had all the others. There is no ‘we’.

Without question he’d respected her wishes, but as his car engine started, she had to fight the coil of panic that wound through her. She felt abandoned and realized how accustomed she had become to him being around, sitting on the corner of her desk, making her coffee. The casual touches. His smile. Something new kicked into life when he took her from that dark place inside and held her tight, in a way that gave her the option of relinquishing or fighting him. If her mind’s fight was like the piercing cold of a winter storm, when he brushed her with his touch, she flourished like spring.

Why was she sabotaging this? Because he’d said we?

He would leave in a short time and return to New Zealand. There was no ‘we’.

Nine years ago, Mae had led her along a path of letting herself be loved and learning how to love others. Even if those others had initially only been Mae and Fala. Trust took longer. Trust was incremental and improved with each dog that came into her care, because the first thing the dog did when it made a connection was to cross that boundary and have faith in you.

The dogs had an innate ability to see that no healing could take place unless they could trust. What a shame she couldn’t quite get her head around that one herself.

Adam would return to his home soon, and that would hurt her anyway. This had to stop before she became too tied into the cute little package that she sometimes dreamed would be her life. She would stick with the dogs, and the dogs would stick with her.

* * *

At the apartment, Adam reheated the previous evening’s leftovers for his dinner and sat with it and his laptop alongside him on the sofa. He found he had little appetite for his meal or his work. Why had he walked out on Marlo when he had her on that edge? That place where he could convince her to step into the abyss, and that there would be no fall because he was right there with her. Except at the moment, he was so fucking off-balance he’d probably fall himself.

He had to make an emotional commitment before he could ask her to take that trusting step. And he was about to leave the country. Yep, best he keep things the way she wanted it.

In the morning, he would head up to check out the puppy mill. That would give them a few days to cool off so that when he returned they could start again. This time he’d keep it professional.

Gateway person… my ass.

* * *

Two days later, Marlo was in her office when a police patrol car turned into her drive. It pulled around in front of her office only yards from the door, rather than using one of the parking bays. Typical. Marlo sighed and went to the door. She watched as the passenger door of the car opened, and a young policeman carrying a bag came over.

He put his hand out to Marlo and reddened slightly as he introduced himself. “I’m Josh Taylor. Adam has asked me to be your police contact…for him and…you.”

Marlo nodded. “Hello, Josh. Is Adam, ah…?”

“Adam’s out of town.” He held out the bag. “I was returning the Dog Haven DVDs.”

“Thanks.” Marlo took the bag.

“Is everything okay out here?”

“Yeah, sure. Everything’s fine.”

Josh shuffled a bit. “Well, Adam said to tell you to call me if you’re bothered by anything. You’ll do that, won’t you?”

Marlo nodded. Phone Josh, not Adam.

Point taken.

Loud and clear.

She watched until the dust trail settled after the police car turned onto the road before she carried the DVDs out to the safe in the back office. The wrong people might have managed to find and copy them once, but she’d make damned sure there wouldn’t be a second opportunity. Kneeling on the floor by the opened safe, she reached into the bag for the discs. As she started to stack them, she noticed a yellow Post-It note flagging one of the cases. She pulled it off and read it:

LB. Len Barrett.

Marlo’s hands shook as she turned over the case the note had been stuck to. Of course, the second DVD, the wardrobe malfunction. The one where she’d slipped out of her bikini top as she bent over Justice.

Nausea roiled from the depths of her stomach, and she put her hand to her mouth and ran, barely making it to the toilet before throwing up. She continued retching and heaving on an empty stomach and finally slid to the cool tiled floor. Beads of sweat trickled from her forehead, down her face, mixing with the tears. She acknowledged the tears for a minute and pushed her knuckles into her eyes. One minute was all she would allow herself, because any longer, and more stuff might come out than she was willing to face.

The door pushed hard against her and Fala squeezed her way into the bathroom and nudged her shoulder, then licked her face.

“Much like the old days, eh, girl?” She trailed her fingers over the old dog’s head.

Fala flopped down and lay heavily on Marlo’s lap.

“Come on, old bean, before somebody sees us.” She pushed herself up and went over to the sink. She ran the cold tap and splashed water over her face until the sweating stopped, until she’d washed the redness from her eyes, and before any unwanted memories managed to ease their way out of the mental strongbox where they were normally so well secured.

Barrett had found her, exactly as he said he would. The time had come to up her game.

She went back to the safe, placed the rest of the discs inside, and locked it. Her hands left damp prints on the safe door. She wanted to call Adam, but hadn’t she already burnt that bridge? Yep, that was a pretty big bonfire, and he would tell her to phone Josh.

Immediate needs.

When besieged, she made herself focus on immediate needs so that she wouldn’t become overwhelmed. Right now she mostly didn’t want Barrett to know that he’d rattled her. Logic said Barrett had no idea that she’d seen his note, so right now she didn’t have to think about him.

When she cared to listen, logic could be a very good friend.