Chapter 23
Barrett
Well, I had to give it to her. The chick had balls bigger than most of the guys I knew. I honestly hadn’t been expecting her to show up for the shoot after our showdown a couple of days before but there she was, walking into the private park we’d reserved for the shoot. She held her head high and her shoulders back, like she had nothing to be ashamed about.
Seeing her sent shock waves through my entire being. She was so goddamn beautiful. A part of me wanted to run to her, to kiss her until her mouth, set in a grim line as she headed for the wardrobe tent, couldn’t remember doing anything but smiling. That same part of me wanted to wrap my arms around her, hold her tight, and kiss away the frown marring her beautiful features. It wanted to comfort her, to find out why she was so pale, and what had brought on the dark circles under her eyes.
But I knew better now. The shattered pieces of my heart clamoring around uselessly in my chest couldn’t take being so close to her. It was still hard for me to believe that less than a week ago, she was the one responsible for making my heart beat faster with every look and every brush of her soft hands.
I was even planning on telling her that I loved her the night that I’d discovered her lies. It wasn’t a conscious plan, but I realized as Norris and I sped away that it would have been the night.
The feeling was right there inside me. The farther I got from Demi, the tighter a vice grip squeezed my stupid heart, until the pressure was so painful it felt like I was having a heart attack by the time we got back to my house.
For days afterward, I hadn’t been able to function properly. I was deeply thankful that I had Katy to cook, otherwise Nancie and I would have gone hungry. It took everything I had in me to drag my gullible ass through the shower every morning. I had gotten played for a fool, and I’d never even seen it coming.
And now, staring at the woman who’d played me, I couldn’t fucking believe how close I’d let her come. She slipped through the walls I’d carefully constructed around my heart, moved past the guards I’d stationed there for years, and made her way right into my immaculately kept life without me even realizing it.
It had taken me way too long to see the game she was playing, so there was no way for me to stop her from getting that close to me. A week ago, I wouldn’t have believed she was even capable of such deception. I had fallen that hard for her.
Demi glanced at me from across the park, and for a second, I thought I saw my own pain reflected in her eyes. But it was probably just the fact that she’d been found out that bothered her. People like her didn’t give a shit about the feelings of the people they used as a means to an end. I’d seen it time after time, with friend after friend who’d gotten sucked in.
There was no way I was letting her see how badly she had ripped me apart. I couldn’t. But hiding it meant I either had to leave the shoot or tell Demi to leave it. I wasn’t the kind of man to do that to her, despite everything she had done to me.
Everything was running smoothly at the shoot today, as things seemed to since Demi had come on board, but I checked in with Stefan before I left anyway.
“You all good here? I gotta go.”
Stefan’s dark eyes swept over mine, and he placed a hand on my shoulder. “Go, Barrett. I do not know what happened, but no good man deserves the anguish in your eyes.”
God, is it that obvious?
I shook my head at myself, dragging a hand through my hair. “It’s nothing. Call me if you need anything.”
“The same goes for you, my friend,” he told me. Then he smacked a loud kiss on each of my cheeks and dropped his hand from my shoulder.
As soon as Stefan floated back to where the shoot was being set up, I darted to the gate that would lead me out of the park. Demi caught my eye as I fled, though I would never admit that was what I was doing. Her frown deepened, and her eyes welled with tears.
What the fuck? Where the hell does she get off pretending she’s the one who got hurt?
For a split second, I nearly succumbed to the intense desire to go to her, to demand answers. But she was at work, and I wouldn’t do that to her. Whatever she had done, however she had used me, she’d still quit her old job because I’d asked her to.
The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if her initial refusal of my offer was a ploy to draw me in. If it was her way of playing hard to get. She’d seemed so sincere at the time, though. It confused the shit out of me now.
I would figure out what to do about our situation later, after I got away from there. With her in such close proximity, it felt like the air I breathed wasn’t reaching my lungs. I screwed my eyes shut for a second, trying to forget the pain in her eyes, and I hightailed it to my car.
Christ, if I ever got over Demi, I would never, ever, make the mistake of falling in love again. This shit was too painful. It was no wonder there were so many books and movies about it. I was about to burst from all the emotions swirling around inside me. I was going to go crazy if I didn’t find an outlet.
Drumming my fingers on my steering wheel, I realized that was exactly what I needed. An outlet. A distraction. And I knew just what the perfect one would be.
“Call Steven,” I said out loud, waiting for the Maclaren to connect me to my financial adviser. Apparently, I wasn’t as skilled as I thought when it came to sniffing out the gold diggers, but there was one skill that I possessed that could turn the shit show I’d let my life become into profit.
Steven answered almost immediately. “Barrett, what can I do for you?”
“Athena’s,” I said. Turning that sinking ship around was the challenge that I needed. “How’s the deal coming?”
“The situation is still the same,” he said. “The owners are hanging on by a thread, but they’re hanging on with all they’ve got.”
“I want it.” No, I needed it.
“I know, Barrett,” he said, sounding slightly offended that I might think otherwise. “I’m on it, as always. I’ll update you as soon as there’s something new to report.”
“I know you’re on it, but I want you to go hard. Throw more money at them. I don’t give a fuck what you do. I want that contract signed within a week.” Restless energy came over me, just as it always did before I closed a big deal.
Yes, this is the perfect damn distraction from Demi.
Her stamp may be all over BHA for now, but Athena’s had nothing to do with her. I could throw myself into it while I figured out how to erase any sign of her from BHA.
“I’ll do my best,” Steven promised. “What’s your maximum bid?”
“Don’t care. You know what I’m worth, and you’ve seen the projections. Bid as aggressively as necessary. I trust you, Stevo. Make this happen for me.” Trust was something I might have misplaced with Demi but Steven had never let me down.
Steven paused. “Any particular reason why this company and why now? If you’re looking to branch out that badly, I can have a dozen other options that are sure things on your desk by the end of the day.”
“I’m not in the mood for a sure thing. I want the challenge.” Which was exactly what had gotten me into my current predicament, of course. But I’d always been an all-in, balls to the wall kind of guy.
“Whatever you say, Barrett, but I’m warning you that it may take longer than a week to convince these people. I’ll see what I can do.”
“That’s all I’m asking, just push hard, okay, Steve?” My lead foot grew heavier as I raced back to the office. The day was already looking up, now that I had something else to focus on.
“You got it, Hart. Expect to hear from me by the end of the weekend.” Steven ended the call as I pulled into my parking spot.
As high as I was flying when I walked into my office, that was how hard I crashed when I turned on my computer to find my inbox flooded with proofs from Demi’s last few shoots. Seeing them was like an arrow was being driven into my heart from one end while a sword shredded it from the other.
I couldn’t bear to look at them, so I closed the entire email program and tugged at my hair. There might have been important messages waiting for me. I happened to know there were at least four contracts that needed to be signed that day, but I couldn’t do it.
Why the hell does the face of my agency have to be hers? The face of the only woman who’d ever broken my heart. It was both extremely beautiful and extremely painful to see.
Still, I had work to do. I had my assistant print the contracts, signed them without really reading them, trusting that my lawyers would’ve picked up on anything that wasn’t in line with the negotiations, and I sent them off.
This couldn’t continue.
As much as I hated to do it, I had to put an end to my distractions for the sake of my sanity. I would find a way to soften the blow. Before my assistant left my office, I asked him one last thing. “Please call Stefan and have him send Demi over as soon as they’re done.”
“Sure thing, boss,” he said, shutting the door with a decisive click behind him.
Two hours later, I had spoken with my lawyers, told Adam what I was going to do, and figured out how to do it without being completely unfair to Demi. A soft knock signaled her arrival.
“Barrett,” Demi said, stepping into my office looking like every fucking dream I had come true. She wore a sundress that hid just enough of her milky skin to drive me wild, but I bit it back. “If you wanted to see me, why didn’t you just text me?”
I ignored her question because it was too painful to answer. “Sit down please, Demi.”
“I think I’d rather stand. What’s going on?”
The fearful look on her face nearly broke me, but I pushed on. I had to get through it.
“I’m buying you out of your contract,” I told her, fighting to keep my voice even.
“What?” Her eyes widened, then sparked with anger. “Why? I haven’t done anything to breach it.”
“I can terminate it anyway, which is what I’m doing. Only, I’m not terminating it and sending you on your way with nothing. I’m buying you out, which means you’ll be leaving with plenty of my money after all.”
“I never wanted your damn money,” she fumed. “I’m good at this job, Barrett, and you know it. So, tell me why.”
“Because I love you, Demi.” It was out before I could stop it.
Demi’s face crumpled. Tears jumped into her eyes as she started moving toward me.
“Barret, I lo—”
I held up my hands, stopping her in her tracks. “I don’t want to hear it, Demi. Look, I’m not doing this to get back at you. I can’t focus on my work, and I can’t even look at your pictures. I regret that I let things get this far, but I can’t take it back. I’m in too deep.”
A painful sigh wracked my chest as I looked into the enchanting eyes of the woman I loved. The woman who had been someone else all along. “I thought I knew you, Demi. But I clearly don’t. I can’t be with you, and since I have to be at the shoots… Look, please just accept my offer. Take the money and leave. I honestly can’t stand to see your picture forever tied to my company.”
It just hurt too damn much.