Fourteen years earlier- Alicia

“He’s hot, like football quarterback hot.” Ruby grabs my arm, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

I giggle. “Maybe because he is the football quarterback?”

My best friend since first grade shakes her head before slapping my arm. “You know what I mean, girl.”

Andrew, the football quarterback she’s crushed on for months, said hi to her in the hallway.

“If he asks me to the homecoming dance, you have to come.” Ruby tugs on my arm again, wiggling in her seat. Her excitement is infectious, my own legs jiggling.

The bus lurches to a stop, and Ruby jumps up. She blows me a kiss before disappearing off the bus. “Call me later!”

I stare out the window as the bus pulls away. Two more stops and it’s back to my depressing life. Alone and lonely. My parents are always working, leaving me to fend for myself. No brother or sister to keep me company.

I step off the bus, the cold November air seeping easily through my light jacket. I bury my hands in my pockets and make the five-minute walk to my house, my face buried in my scarf.

The large beige house comes up in the distance, the driveway empty and uninviting.

I open the front door and pause for a moment. With bated breath, I listen, my ears straining to hear a noise, however faint. My stomach twists as the realization dawns on me. Alone, again.

I sigh, tossing my bag to the floor and closing the door behind me.

Another night alone in this big house, only the dust and secrets of the walls to keep me company.

I step into the kitchen when a loud bang comes from upstairs. I freeze in my tracks. A loud giggle rings through the air, the noise shrill. Who is that?

A deep rumble echoes above, followed by some loud grunts and gasps.

I’m frozen in place, my eyes darting around, my brain trying to process what’s going on. I steady my hands on the table, taking a few deep breaths.

A wrapped casserole dish sits in the middle of the table, one of my mother’s familiar notes sitting atop. I squint my eyes to read the words, the letters long and curvy.

Dinner is in the oven, hon. Sorry, it’s another late night at work for both of us. Enjoy the brownies.

Love, Mom xoxo

Another giggle plus a loud slap with a shriek fills the air, and I push my fingers through my hair, tucking both sides of my hair behind my ears.

It’s not what it sounds like. It can’t be.

I need to find out.

I move away from the table, creeping across the kitchen floor. I avoid the big tile with the crack. It’ll squeak, a dead giveaway.

The back staircase leads up to in front of my parents’ room. I pause at the bottom step, leaning forward to listen. Hushed whispers float down the stairs. Maybe Mom came home early.

I swallow over the lump in my throat as I tiptoe, skipping the middle step. When I reach the top, my parents’ door is cracked open and shadows move inside.

“Mom? Dad?” My fingers dig into the stair rail, my nails sinking into the old wood.

A shriek and more loud whispers.

What’s going on in there?

The door swings wide and there’s my father, a sheet wrapped around his waist, his eyes wide, his hair wild. “Alicia?”

Behind him, a woman pops over his shoulder. I’m going to be sick.

No…it’s not…it can’t be…oh my God…it’s Mallory…my mom’s best friend.

He reaches for me, but I’m too quick. I fly down the stairs and out the back door. I hear him call my name, but I don’t look back. I run until I turn onto the familiar street, the blue house on the corner my second home.

I jog past the side of the house, down to the back door, to Ruby’s bedroom in the finished basement. I knock twice on the door then clap and knock two more times. Friendship code we’ve shared since first grade.

The door lock clicks open, but it’s not Ruby standing there. It’s my mother, her eyes red, her nose dripping.

“Oh, Alicia.” She grabs my waist and crushes me against her.

It’s real.

It’s really real.

My breathing hitches. My chest aches. It’s as if my heart is literally cracking.

A sob escapes as we sink to the ground together.