God. If I had to describe the last three days without Magnus, I'd probably have to use the word...anguished.
Have you ever loved someone so much that every minute that you're not with them feels like a moment where you'd rather be dead than separated from them?
Where you just want to know where they are in the world so at least knowing makes you feel calmer and safer.
Where you feel happy knowing that they're out there in the world with you?
I think I once read somewhere on Facebook or wherever that love is actually an emotion that arose as an evolutionary step in humans. That we experience love so that we can form family groups and protect each other. So that we can care for our young when they're vulnerable. So we don't run around having sex and then forgetting who we had it with and never taking care of our babies.
I don't know honestly what the answer is. I don't know if I believe in evolution or what.
But I do know that if there is a God on this planet, that he must have created love for just me and Magnus.
That's right, babe. I know you have your significant other. I know that the world doesn't revolve around Magnus and me.
But that's what it feels like. That's what every moment I think of Magnus Davion feels like. That the world was made for me and him. That every touch, every taste, every feeling and every breath were made for each other. That the vast entirety of this world - that all of history - was designed solely so the two of us could enjoy it.
There is no way I will ever leave this man. There is no way I will ever betray him. Every fiber of my body, every atom of my existence, cries out to be next to him.
And you know what?
I know he feels the same way about me.
I know, in my heart of hearts, that this man has reoriented his life to have it revolve around me. I am the sun to his existence.
He doesn't need to tell me.
I don't need to be near him to be able to understand.
I don't need to see him do or say anything.
It's almost as if...as if...
As if it's faith.
You either have it or you don't.
And I have faith in Magnus Davion.
That's why I'm standing outside the Davion Development building in Midtown East this morning as I watch him, dressed in a smart charcoal black Tom Ford suit, walk to the podium and speak into the microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he says and he scans the crowd. I don't know why I inadvertently shrink back.
I didn't tell him that I was going to be here today. In fact I haven't talked to him for the last three days.
I don't know why.
A part of me realized that maybe I should reach out to him. I wanted to.
But he seemed so busy fighting everyone back.
The world is after him. They're not after me.
I know what it is, actually. I think I felt that if I stayed away from him, then this whole thing would blow over.
Don't look at me like that.
It's not guilt that brought me here. I'd be here whether I wanted to or not. Knowing he was going to be putting himself out there in the public for me - for us - there is no way I'd not be here.
And I think that goes for the entire borough of Manhattan too. It seems the steps to Davion Development are just packed with New Yorkers who have decided that they want to see what this press conference is going to bring.
There's a large contingent of reporters here at the press conference. By far the largest contingent is from the New York Daily Journal.
I can't tell from where I'm standing but it looks like Magnus gave them seats all the way at the front.
I mean, I guess that's one way to go about handling them. After the way they've been treating him and the things that they've been saying, if I were him I wouldn't have even allowed them here in the first place.
That's the thing. He thinks I don't know all the things that are being said about us. He thinks he's protecting me.
I figure, let him think that if it makes him feel better. At least he'll stay strong that way. And that's why I stayed away too, you know? That's why I didn't call him or text him even when I saw he wasn't texting me.
Because I figured that not seeing me would help him be stronger.
Even though just seeing him from a distance right now fills me with hope.
I wonder, did I make a mistake?
"I'll have a prepared statement and then I'll take your questions," Magnus says and looks at the audience. He's not using a TelePrompTer. Oh God. "The experience of the last ten days have been something that I wouldn't wish on my greatest enemy. But it's time that I set matters to rest."
Magnus looks out into the audience as if daring anyone to challenge him. All he gets back are some photographers who take some pictures of him.
"I want to clear the record here. I married Rhoda Wright several years ago. We were married for 263 days. That's less than a year. When I met her, she was a widow with a daughter from a prior marriage. Her name was Penny and she was eighteen years old," Magnus pauses and looks out into the audience again. My heart catches.
You think he's looking for me?
You think he knows that I'm here?
I wouldn't put it past him to be able to sense it.
"At the time, I was focused on trying to save the marriage I had to Rhoda but it became clear to us that we were incompatible and we parted in what I believed at the time were amicable circumstances," Magnus says and I roll my eyes. If the people of this city only knew what Mom had told me. How she used him for his connections.
But they won't be able to know, because I was an idiot and lost the only proof that I had. I let Mom play me.
I should have gone to the house. Not met her at her office.
"At the time I had no designs on Penny. But several years later, when I met her again, she had blossomed into a gorgeous young woman. When I met her I had no idea as to her employment with the New York City Daily Journal. This became apparent to me at the end. But whether I had known at the beginning or at all, it wouldn't have colored my impressions of her," Magnus says and my breath catches in my throat. "I love Penny Wright and I say it proudly."
That's it.
I can't sit here and let him stand alone.
For better or for worse, I need to be with him.
I start to move, making my way to the edge of the crowd slowly but I can hear him continue.
"I'll take your questions now," he says and I pause.
It's either going to be finished because he won them over or it's going to be a bloodbath.
For long minutes there's silence and I wonder if Magnus truly could have won everyone over. I mean, I wouldn't put it past him.
But then, the first question comes.
From a reporter I remember from the Daily Journal.
Someone new. Someone Mom hired.
"Mr. Davion, how do you respond to allegations that you coerced your daughter into having sexual relations with you?" he asks.
Magnus bristles. "She's my stepdaughter. And there was no coercion. End of story," he says.
I start walking to the podium. He may have brushed it off but the crudeness of the question is going to stay for a long time unless its squashed.
"Mr. Davion, what proof do you have to substantiate that you did not coerce Penny Wright into a sexual relationship?" another reporter asks. This one is from the Daily Journal as well,.
"I have my word," Magnus says tacitly. "That's going to have to do."
"Mr. Davion, do you believe that in light of these allegations you should still have a place as a builder for the City of New York?" another Daily Journal reporter asks. "Hasn't your image been tarnished enough?"
I can see Magnus stiffen. "I have done nothing wrong," he repeats. "Let me be clear. These are allegations only.
"Are you saying there's a plot out to destroy you?" another reporter asks.
"Isn't that a bit too far-fetched?" yet another Daily Journal reporter piles on. "That the media are trying to tear you down?"
But the ironic thing is, that it's true you know?
You've been here from the start. You know what Mom and Laurel Trask wanted to do. You know what I did for them. I'm close to the podium now. I can see Magnus.
And that's when I realize that this whole thing can be solved in a heartbeat.
I have the power.
I can't believe I forgot all about it.
It just means that I have to step up.
Put my money where my mouth is when I say I love Magnus Davion.
And not a moment too soon.
Magnus is looking defeated there.
"How can we be sure that you did not in fact coerce your stepdaughter when it's just your word against her mothers?" the first reporter is asking again.
But I don't let Magnus answer.
Instead I speak up.
"I can answer that," I say boldly and hopefully loud enough.
It is loud enough it turns out because Magnus turns around in an instant. He looks at me.
His eyes go wide.
I walk up to the podium that he's standing at and smile at him.
"Hey babe," I whisper to him. The photographers are going crazy trying to snap as many pictures as they can. Good thing yesterday was an ass day at the gym, as I turn around to put my purse down.
"Babe, what are you doing here?" Magnus whispers. "Are you okay?"
I smile. How sweet. We really are meant for one another.
"I'm here to close this chapter, hon," I tell him.
And then I turn to the masses.
They want a scandal?
Then it's time for a real story.
Magnus